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Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

TTerrible posted:

It was a test omg he passed.
he will diminish and go to the west

edit - 360 nocat page snype

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Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat

Ash1138 posted:

well if he's honoring his toxx then he can't really reply to you in this thread can he

He's fine. It played out the way he said it would.
This is a marathon not a sprint.

SerCypher
May 10, 2006

Gay baby jail...? What the hell?

I really don't like the sound of that...
Fun Shoe
I think the funniest part of this all, is that Derek bought more spaceships secretly just so he can still count as a backer.

CIG is probably looking through their records so they can figure out where he got them from and issue non consensual refunds.



Derek I have a really good plan to make us some money, hear me out.

1)Find some ships on the grey market that sell for cheaper than CIG sells them.

2)Publicly announce you have them

3) Make a profit when CIG refunds you the full cost

How about we split it 50/50

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Lladre posted:

He's fine. It played out the way he said it would.
This is a marathon not a sprint.
yeah this isn't ELE yet

though i'm p. sure that derek smart exists in geological time. it's the only way the first step of a governmental investigation is worth getting excited over

ideate
Aug 20, 2002
Will someone email CS and say Derek Smart wants to buy their ships but you'd just take a refund from them if they'd prefer that

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE

natetimm posted:

Can you link to it or give a page number? This thread is insanely fast moving.

Sorry about that, I was phone posting

G0RF posted:

Guys, my new serious Effort Post is going to take me longer than I thought. Here is one slightly less so-- or Part 1 of it, anyway.

-----------------



TO: Chris Roberts
FROM: Something Awful
SUBJECT: Not that you needed anything else to worry about but OH CRAP WHAT IS THAT?!

I know, despite outward appearances, these are the times that try men’s souls at Cloud Imperium Games.

The enemies gather, seen and unseen— each seeking in some way to thwart the Great Work underway, each seeking to derail the longstanding plans to build The Best Furnished Space Sim Headquarters Ever. (Oh and there’s that space game you’re working on, too.)

Snooping auditors, disloyal employees, space cat trolls, frenemy competitors, and of course, the Old School Internet Warlord himself. He’s always making new mischief when he should be trying to get the drat cyan out of his puny little space game! (Bloody Floridians, right? So tacky…)

Yet— even as these enemies gather— Goon Scouts have just returned from the front lines of Battlefield PewPew with horrifying intelligence reports— of a threat looming just beyond the horizon-line. It lumbers slowly towards us all, obscured in a cloud of shadows, yet if the rumors we’ve heard are true, it poses a grave threat to all who promise to deliver immersive, agency-rich Space Game experiences, even those without tasteful, rustic furnishings that really do add an touch of old world class to space-ship themed lobbies with wrap-around murals.

In fact, the threat is so gobsmackingly giant that even the Gaming Press picked up on it. They, too, see grave possibilities ahead for Star Citizen...


Troubling thoughts indeed, and it would be tempting, too tempting Sir, to assume Bethesda is simply seeking to ride on the coattails of the Gaming Studio that is without a doubt the Industry Leader in justifying lavish expenditures for its headquarter offices AND princely sums for pre-ordered DLC content while also working to develop a Space Game sometimes.

But yet again, Goon Scouts have uncovered surprising details about the true history of this potentially industry-shaking development, for it has been decades in the making. It would appear that some competitors apparently subscribe to a radically different game development philosophy, one in which games are quietly created in secret in less extravagantly furnished offices...



BETHESDA: Laugh at his functional drone-worker furniture if you want, the threat he represents is real.


Though their offices are reportedly sorely lacking in the artisanal decorative touches that separate the Best Furnished Game Developers from the Rest, Bethesda should not be underestimated... In contrast to your much remarked upon "let's make this up as we go along and tell everybody about it in the process" game design philosophy, Bethesda's legendary secrecy may actually represent a genuine competitive threat.

Given their trademark sophistication, and in consideration of intel uncovered by Goon Spies, it is clear that "Starfield" was a project already in development by the time of their March 2013 filing. We advise you to ignore any claims that their consecration of the Starfield project was reactive to Star Citizen's well-publicized kickoff 6 months prior– they are false. Remember, too, that this is a studio that rebooted a moribund IP in a largely forgotten genre to great success only 4 years prior to that registration-- and reaped enormous critical praise and fantastic commercial success. As with Rockstar's surprising pivot to the all-but-dead Western genre, our spies report that Bethesda was planning a space game long ahead of the rebirth of the genre.

First, we direct your attention to these provocative recent comments by Todd Howard.


Our sources tell us that Starfield is one of these projects. Yet WHAT IS "STARFIELD"? Though few in the industry have a clue, Goontelligence reports indicate that Starfield is, in fact, going to be Bethesda's 3rd attempt at a Space RPG-- and that this time, unlike their little-known prior attempts, they are unlikely to fail.

The following Usenet post marked FOR YOUR EYES ONLY was made by Todd Howard not long after Daggerfall(!) came out, only a couple of years into his tenure at Bethesda Games. There are a couple of interesting things to note here.



Unfortunately, it gets worse. Far worse...

If you are not already sitting down, Chris, we advise you to find your way to the nearest Aviator Chair and gently nestle yourself into it's vintage, leather bomber jacket-like cushions. Allow the aerodynamic curves of the aluminum accented chair to embrace you. Find your strength and flyboy swagger, Chris. We fear you are going to need every last ounce by the time you finish reading this report.

First and foremost, Todd Howard, who now has enough money to sumptuously decorate every single Bethesda Studio office should he choose to, was actually thinking about Space RPGs as far back as two decades ago-- as were many at Bethesda.

In fact, at the time of young Howard's post, Bethesda had been partnering with Centropolis to develop an ambitious (at the time) space game called "The 10th Planet".

Here is the trailer for that abandoned game.



If you are unable to watch this clip right now, gaze for a troubled moment, as we did, at the familiar touchstones...



Chillingly familiar, is it not? As one Goon remarked in sober horror, "I felt like I was watching a Squadron 42 trailer from 1996. Only with better animated reptiles."

----

Indeed, The 10th Planet -- with Draconian alien adversaries, Star Marine corridors, reptilian mother ships, spaceship pew-pew, gratuitous explosions, star maps and more -- seems to have been the Squadron 42 of its time.

As relayed by our agent, "My god, Bethesda even had moon-breaking technology planned as far back as 1996, too!"

Here is how that game trailer is described on Vimeo by an artist involved in its creation:


You certainly must be wondering by this point, as we were, what happened to The 10th Planet? What happened to Bethesda's first planned entry into the Space Game genre? We direct your attention to a quote from yet another former Bethesda developer:


Knowing you as we do, the words above surely read like those of an absolute madman. The project was shelved because Bethesda's XnGine wasn't able to deliver upon the expectations created by the trailer-- and Bethesda lamented the time and money wasted on a cinematic trailer the game could never live up to!

Sheer insanity. Yet Bethesda reportedly took another shot at "The 10th Planet" a couple of years later. It also failed, and apparently for similarly lunatic reasons. They couldn't deliver on the promise of their trailers.


It is difficult-- indeed, drat near impossible -- to imagine what kind of freakish, twisted logic might bring a gaming company to actually kill a project in development simply because they didn't feel the game could live up to a trailer. It seems almost the polar opposite of your own strategy which has brought with it such resplendent appointments. Yet they have succeeded in spite of this strange failure of will– in fact, they are now reaping fantastic fortunes as a result of this highly counter-intuitive strategy and in spite of their fondness for furnishing better suited for peasants.

At the risk of discomfiting you, however, we fear we must draw attention to the stark contrast. Not the stark contrast on display when comparing the exalted $1045 Flatiron Desks of Cloud Imperium with the lowly $100 function-ware of Bethesda's offices-- for here, you will triumph every time...



Instead, we must draw attention to the contrast between your Game Development process-- for here, too, the contrast couldn't be clearer, and yet here, we fear you may be on the losing side in the scales of the market.

Star Citizen-- as it exists today-- remains an unstable tech demo still in a pre-Alpha state 4 years into development. Yet the game that is playable today or will be playable next year is not the game you have been selling since 2012, often with the aid of highly aspirational commercials. Cloud Imperium has achieved its unprecedented financial success by selling "THE GAME THAT WILL ONE DAY BE", and they have done that primarily through 'in engine' trailers for a game that doesn't exist and that you are unlikely to be able to deliver, even with another $100M and 4 more years.

Bethesda, by contrast, generated $750 million dollars in one day with their latest release. And though Todd Howard has high regard for your past work, particularly your interface design on Times of Lore, and though he considers Origin his favorite classic-era development studio-- we fear we must press the urgency of this matter.

The student has become the master, and that master, like you, has set his eyes on the stars. Though he surely sits in an unremarkable chair mass-produced in a factory, one that does not feature intentional nicks, small scratches and other imperfections that add to the character and uniqueness of said chair, his competitive advantages are real. They are the secrecy fostered between employees who trust each other and their employer, a war chest that dwarfs even what remains of your own, and a 20 year desire to branch out into the Space Game genre. If they were creating the equivalent of Squadron 42 in 1996-- it horrifies us to imagine what they might be up to now.

Nevertheless, we have guesses. You will surely want to read them. We have familiarized you already with the competitive threats on the horizon. In our next installment of this report, we will appraise you in disquieting detail of the behemoth cloaked in shadows that soldiers towards you just beyond it. For the earth quakes beneath its feet, though you can not yet feel the tremors, and when it arrives, it threatens to steal glory, customers, and disposable income from millions.

In the interim, we would advise you to consider investing in one of Restoration Hardware's Grand Leather Beanbags ($1150), perhaps with the companion Exotic Faux Fur blankie ($309). Neither is particularly dignified, but the beanbag is generously sized and perfectly plumped with sink-in comfort and portable repose and the blankie re-creates the subtly variegated tones and tipped ends characteristic of natural pelts.

We believe after reading our disturbing follow-up report on Starfield, you will appreciate the cocooning comfort the combination will provide you. As always, you needn't concern yourself with any appearance of impropriety when expensing these indulgences to Cloud Imperium. As you said to Sandi not long ago when trying to convince her to spend $5000+ more on upgraded airfare like you choose to, "The fans will never know-- and you deserve to be comfortable."

You do, indeed.


neonbregna
Aug 20, 2007

Justin Tyme posted:

he's not wrong, nerd

everything about Star Citizen, including this thread, sucks eggs, I'm out, some of you need to go outside

No gently caress you dad

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Tortolia posted:

Beet Wagon made us all worried

I feel like "worried" is a bit strong. Maybe "uncomfortable"?

TTerrible
Jul 15, 2005

ideate posted:

Will someone email CS and say Derek Smart wants to buy their ships but you'd just take a refund from them if they'd prefer that

:laffo: I would love to see the response to this. I suspect a klaxon would go off in Sandis office.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

natetimm posted:

Can you link to it or give a page number? This thread is insanely fast moving.

Just FYI since it was recently quoted...

It's better to read the original post because when quoted it loses several good blockquotes.

Peace

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Derek I'll sell you some rare and very high quality jpegs for the low low price of 20% over cost!

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Palisader posted:

Sorry about that, I was phone posting
yeah let's all get hype over something that todd howard says

that never backfires

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE
Whoops

Justin Tyme posted:

like, it was fun for a while, especially the mad rush to get refunds, but now the meat is starting to rot off the horse's skeleton

see ya'll when SC is announced cancelled or SQ42 is released because until then, wow, what a waste of time

Thank u for letting us know, commando

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE

Ash1138 posted:

yeah let's all get hype over something that todd howard says

that never backfires

I honestly don't even know who that is, I just like Gorf's writing style!

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Kakarot posted:

In b4 moma is doxxed!!

I am not a supporter of doxing. but since he CLEARLY went looking for my info in court records, I think the gloves have to come off, right?

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

Ash1138 posted:

yeah let's all get hype over something that todd howard says

that never backfires

You see that planet? You can go there!

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Palisader posted:

I honestly don't even know who that is, I just like Gorf's writing style!
but you didn't actually read what he wrote so...

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

I guess if you count life experience Lethality is the most qualified person on the planet to judge someone else's mental state.

:drat:

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

ManofManyAliases posted:

No - I am not.

double negative means YES!!! gotcha TOAST!!

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

D_Smart posted:

I am not a supporter of doxing. but since he CLEARLY went looking for my info in court records, I think the gloves have to come off, right?

is it something to toast about Derek?

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Wafflz posted:

You see that planet? You can go there!
interplanetary travel on gamebryo creation engine would be laffo

runsamok
Jan 12, 2011

Found out today I'm getting a $3300CAD bonus next week.

What spaceships should I buy?

SurfaceDetail
Feb 17, 2016

by Cowcaster

D_Smart posted:

I am not a supporter of doxing. but since he CLEARLY went looking for my info in court records, I think the gloves have to come off, right?

Is it worth getting permabanned over because he knows you got a traffic ticket once?

Shadowlyger
Nov 5, 2009

ElvUI super fan at your service!

Ask me any and all questions about UI customization via PM

D_Smart posted:

I am not a supporter of doxing. but since he CLEARLY went looking for my info in court records, I think the gloves have to come off, right?

Yes, do it.

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
while I appreciate the dsmart narrative, whatever happened to turning the thread over to gork? he's been chronicling events superbly for some time, if ELE is remotely true and end times, or at least considerable drama, are incoming shouldn't he be the guy managing the op?

also dsmart don't be the easy mark and try to doxx that guy, for fucksake

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum

DOMDOM posted:

while I appreciate the dsmart narrative, whatever happened to turning the thread over to gork? he's been chronicling events superbly for some time, if ELE is remotely true and end times, or at least considerable drama, are incoming shouldn't he be the guy managing the op?


gorf keeps refusing

Skellybones
May 31, 2011




Fun Shoe

Raskolnikov posted:

I just bought more spaceships.
























In Elite Dangerous.

after reading all about Star Citizen it causes a slight jarring to realise that not only are there real games that exist right now, you can buy spaceships for them that don't cost hundreds of real dollars.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!
stop acting like the OP means anything, even if it were updated continually people would still go "HEY WOW THERE'S LIKE A MILLION POSTS IN THIS THREAD SINCE I LOOKED AT IT 3 HOURS AGO DID SOMETHING HAPPEN PLEASE GIVE ME UP TO THE SECOND INFORMATION"

the real measure of this thread is how high the page numbers go

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE

Ash1138 posted:

but you didn't actually read what he wrote so...

Wait, what?

SurfaceDetail
Feb 17, 2016

by Cowcaster
if you dont have 1000+ posts in this thread then really who the gently caress are you

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Ash1138 posted:

yeah let's all get hype over something that todd howard says

that never backfires

He's not saying much and that wasn't the point, Ash.

A studio that can generate $750M in first day sales of their last title launching a surprise space game in the not too distant is yet problem for Chris Roberts. Since he recently declared CIG was basically leaving everyone else in industry behind -- and that only Rockstar might, might have a chance to catch up, I'm rather gleeful over yet another complication for CIG. The hubris is pretty grating given the state of the game...

moveable shape
Oct 18, 2015

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

CIG is not a public company. It is a private company that people have been giving gifts to for the past four years, with an agreement that in exchange for those gifts CIG would provide some kind of game and associated content. CIG has absolutely no requirement whatsoever to provide any kind of financial transparency, and frankly they have no reason to do so given the blind loyalty people have displayed towards them. Sandi herself made that clear in her exchange with me. Depending on your country and local laws you can make the argument that your gift was actually a purchase (and frankly you should be making this argument and demanding a chargeback at this point), but CIG sure as gently caress isn't going to help you. The only way people will know CIG's financial status is if they go bankrupt, someone leaks the financials, an investigation ends up with information being public, or CIG themselves shares it.


They thought Star Citizen was going to give them the escapist fantasy of their dreams. Roberts is a master at enabling people to take a subjective concept, fill in the gaps with their own dreams, and then act on the resulting construct in a manner that benefits him. His method is fairly simple but well established. First, focus on a scale that's seemingly impossible, but use a combination of sheer force of will and technical expertise (yours or others) to waylay doubts. Second, create a vision for a game that's incredibly specific in some places and intentionally vague in others so that the audience will be convinced of the whole picture but fill in the gaps to best meet their individual desires. Third, make the audience feel like they are part of the process and get them emotionally involved so that they will be motivated to spend more on their specific dream. Fourth, repeat the process as you slowly expand the scope.

People didn't buy into Star Citizen because Chris Roberts told them their lives mattered. They bought into Star Citizen because Roberts told them they could be someone else and live vicariously through an alter ego that was perfectly tailored to whatever their personal dream was. For me it was the possibility of bringing forth the next EVE, of exploiting a community full of idiot manchildren who cry at the mere possibility of sharing a server with a griefer. For others it was the exact opposite; a safe space where players could freely RP to their hearts content and rely on the security of the game to keep them from facing undesirables. Others dreamed of exploring new worlds and discovering their own system, or of being a merchant amassing millions, or a dashing rogue who smuggles profit and has a heart of gold, or a myriad of other ideals. The very fact that EVERYONE could see the same thing and come up with their own perfect, ideal construct of what Star Citizen will be should have been a major warning sign. It took years for me to realize it, and only because CIG steadfastly refused to do anything about the schisms in the community. The three greatest conflicts in SC's community (conflicts that still aren't resolved) are PvP/PvE, joystick/mouse, and solo/organization. Each conflict reflects a clash of different playstyles (carebear vs griefer, hardcore vs casual, individual vs group), and yet CIG's only response was a reassurance that everyone would be happy. Eventually the conflicts raged on long enough that I had to accept the truth; Chris Roberts never intended to address them. He can't, because when he does it would immediately ostracize and anger those who were playing Star Citizen the "wrong" way. So long as he remained noncommittal people would still believe, and believers are the ones who donate.

There's only one dream that's going to be realized, and that's whatever is in the head of Chris Roberts. His dream is not about gameplay, or mechanics, or controllers, or playstyles. His dream is about scale and appearances. His dream is to be the director of the greatest narrative ever constructed, which is why he can spend months directing performance capture while the core of his game is so terrible that he can't even play it. His dream is about making a virtual movie, which is why CitizenCon spent more time talking about the script and the actors than showing the actual game. His dream requires a commercial grade espresso machine, so he purchases one. His dream requires a fancy new office with high end furniture and a custom door that will impress anyone who comes in, so he purchases it all. His dream requires AAA actors who will cost millions, so he hires them. His dream requires CryEngine to work, so he poaches all of the necessary talent and establishes a fourth office in a new country. His dream requires more time, so he'll ignore any deadline he wants. Anything outside of his dream, like the expectations of the hundreds of thousands of backers who funded him, are irrelevant and will be ignored.

Chris Roberts is a master of making others believe their dreams will be realized. In reality the only dream that matters is his own.

deserves to be on whatever the current page is, very well said Beer. What makes this thing such a spectacle is how loving blatantly obvious this is to those outside CRs dream bubble.

Does anyone have the gif of Chris writing 'scam' on the whiteboard instead of 'dream'. That was a thing of beauty and should be kept handy for when reality comes crashing down on this project and its backers

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe

Coolguye posted:

stop acting like the OP means anything
it's a nice repository for effort posts that otherwise get buried in shitposts. you know, for posterity

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

ManofManyAliases posted:

at this point, and with his track record, that could be anything, such as the courthouse he went to fight his moving violation from December

Just posting this for the record and show that, in all your posts directed at me, you declared shots fired.

So, I am giving you 24hrs to do the following:

1) come clean on who you are in RL

2) post "As seen on SA" in your Twitter feed and post the link here

Failure to do this, will leave me no choice.

ps: I don't intend to dox anyone here; that aside from the fact that I am not a fan of doxing. Revealing rear end-clowns hiding behind aliases/avatars - especially shills - is not doxing.

Skellybones
May 31, 2011




Fun Shoe
Careful, he has many aliases.

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

So he is in fact a CIG employee?

neonbregna
Aug 20, 2007

D_Smart posted:

Just posting this for the record and show that, in all your posts directed at me, you declared shots fired.

So, I am giving you 24hrs to do the following:

1) come clean on who you are in RL

2) post "As seen on SA" in your Twitter feed and post the link here

Failure to do this, will leave me no choice.

ps: I don't intend to dox anyone here; that aside from the fact that I am not a fan of doxing. Revealing rear end-clowns hiding behind aliases/avatars - especially shills - is not doxing.

Yesssss get em

Ursine Catastrophe
Nov 9, 2009

It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.



don't ask how i know

Dinosaur Gum


the combination of this picture with this emote is pretty great

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012


derek, the ultimate bloodhound on the trail again

rip MoMA

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Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

D_Smart posted:

Just posting this for the record and show that, in all your posts directed at me, you declared shots fired.

So, I am giving you 24hrs to do the following:

1) come clean on who you are in RL

2) post "As seen on SA" in your Twitter feed and post the link here

Failure to do this, will leave me no choice.

ps: I don't intend to dox anyone here; that aside from the fact that I am not a fan of doxing. Revealing rear end-clowns hiding behind aliases/avatars - especially shills - is not doxing.

That's him in the Restoration Hardware chair.

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