Faux-rear end Nonsense posted:

according to a thing I read on Cracked years ago

w00tmonger posted:

Why would it be anything but snow?

cock hero flux posted:

lmao the US spent trillions developing stealth and the first time they started using F-117 stealth planes in combat they were defeated by yugoslavia

after all the time and effort and especially money they spent on stealth you can't pretend it works when a fat serbian man is keeping a chunk of stealth fighter in his garage as a trophy

Bucephalus posted:

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

I thought you were quoting the post about the sock monkey and started forming strong words.

Kenny Logins posted:

Fishmech isn't a forums poster, it's a serious psychological condition.

DemeaninDemon posted:

I don't know about exposing him to radiation. That much smug narcissism might turn him into a radioactive super villain.

stan worship posted:

Spider-Cruz, Spider-Cruz,
Fights against the right to choose.
Spins a tale, full of lies,
He's easy to despise,
Look out! Here comes the Spider-Cruz.

Trig Discipline posted:

Ahaha I love how quickly goons figured out what's going on. It's like on Jeopardy when Alex barely finishes the first sentence and you can already see the contestants going apeshit on their buzzers.

"My twelve year old brother just got sent to the hosp-BZZZZZT"
"What is shoving things up his dickhole?"

cock hero flux posted:

there is currently nothing indicating that it is not real

Tesseraction posted:

I think that thread is going to provide many good quotes. Probably best to let it unfold naturally.

Hyperlynx posted:

Why does this thread always become helldump lite instead of any actually funny quotes?

jaegerx posted:

Like your face

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

I'm Clairhuxtable.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

infamous post on the Bioware forums where somebody wrote out an enormously detailed analysis of what an alien girl's sweat tasted like

Centripetal Horse posted:

Ward comes home two hours late, smelling of his secretary's perfume. The family sits through a sullen meal, with Ward drinking from a highball glass and refusing to look his wife in the eye, while June makes a point of banging the spoon against the dishes as she serves dinner. Later, from his bedroom, the Beaver hears his mother and father fighting. "Jesus loving CHRIST, June! Don't start with me! Just do not loving START with me!"

A short time later, the Beaver hears his father getting his jacket out of the closet in the entry, then hears the sound of the front door slamming, followed by his father's Buick rumbling to life, and pulling out of the driveway. Down the hall, June wails in frustration, and Beaver winces as he listens to her sob to herself, loudly at first, then quieting down, but never quite stopping. The Beaver pulls the covers over his head, willing himself to be asleep before his father gets home from the bar. The Beaver knows this fight isn't over, and he doesn't want to have to listen to what will come next. Why can't they just love each other?

The Beaver falls asleep wondering if the mom he sees in the morning will have the kind of puffy face she gets from crying, or the kind of puffy face she gets from the other thing. In the middle of a fitful sleep, he dreams of a steam whistle screaming intermittently.

In the distance, a crow caws while Eddie and Wally tag-team the preacher's daughter without using protection.

w00tmonger posted:

Uncooked meat. Sushi and poo poo. Basically they just want to gently caress around with salmonella etc and that's a big potential source of if.

Cold cuts should be fine as long as your not an idiot any it for the same reason...

Karate Bastard posted:

I've been on here for too long.

FlyinPingu posted:

I feel like a self-loathing alcoholic computer janitor calling someone a sadbrained pyf furry is a bit of a throwin' stones in a glass house situation

atomicthumbs posted:

Don't forget: elf tentacle sounding pussy, too.

Rhymenoserous posted:

Yearrrrgh. That's awful choice.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Is that the same guy that would rub the "water" out of the cyst at the top of his rear end and smear it on his bed frame every morning and there were obvious stains on the headboard from where he did that?

Terrible Robot posted:

Sometimes people take showers after work

darthbob88 posted:

It was 600 posts.

Vaginal Vagrant posted:

Well I was going to post in that thread but now...

Solice Kirsk posted:

Wrapping supplies should always be stored in the Gift Wrapping Room. The hell is wrong with you?

Crane Fist posted:

Don't try and make the idea of a gift closet sound reasonable

Karate Bastard posted:

The posts around thereabouts are good too.

FishBulb posted:

Is liquid nitrogen even something you can buy for home use?

I just know it as the magical stuff that killed the terminator 2

WaitsUp posted:

Nobody tell him there's a second half of Terminator 2