Bobby Digital posted:

I vaguely remember hearing a podcast episode where the hosts and their guess discussed a species of fish that did this is also hermaphroditic so either could get pregnant.

It was basically a duel to avoid getting stuck having the other one’s babies.

Edit: flatworms! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_fencing

spog posted:

fruit on the bottom posted:

The official Davis explanation is that back during his formative years on the farm, there would be this drink you would give to pregnant cows to ensure they’d have all the right nutrients and without doing any research he assumed there would be some equivalent for dogs. Why it was in a coffee mug remains a mystery.

Doc Hawkins posted:

He did not.

E: I wanted to say, your bitch-piss theory was one I have never, ever heard before. Points for originality.

barbecue at the folks posted:

Now I'm wondering if Jim Davis does his real art under a pseudonym and just draws some insane underground comics about sadomasochistic cybernuns doing giraffe acid or something. The recurrent hints that there's something Weird going on behind the respectable bland facade that is Garfield are always interesting.

mind the walrus posted:

That website gave my phone cancer

Raspberry Jam It In Me posted:

actually, what if hitler had been homeless? i guess there might be situations where it's ok to poison a homeless person, i dunno i'm not a philosopher

Pirate Radar posted:

Yeah standards are fine.

Very small dogs are almost universally awful, with an exception made for my girlfriend’s parents’ chihuahua, who has two teeth left—just the top canines, like a vampire—and usually has to be carried in a bag in public to conceal his constant erection.

You might ask “how does he chew with only two teeth” and the answer is he doesn’t, they chew food for him and drop the prechewed bits into his mouth.

Gatekeeper posted:

i went to a bar that was doing an open mic and i forgot i had taken some klonopin earlier so after a few drinks i was a sloppy blacked out mess and apparently i decided to try my hand at slam poetry. i signed up to perform and wrote a slam poem in a text message to myself. i don't remember writing it or performing it, i found the poem in my phone the next day and didn't know wtf it was until people started telling me how great my "performance" was the night before. like, people i didn't even know, finding me on facebook and messaging me, telling me i was an amazing slam poet.

the slam poem:


apparently i shouted the bold caps words with much feeling and emotion, delivering a raw and powerful and very serious performance. somehow i did not laugh or crack a slow smile while saying, or yelling, any those words. i made an angry somber face the whole time.

the following week at the open mic night, a pretty lady with red hair and a big butt who was going to play her guitar that night told me she remembered my slam poem and found it very impressive and she asked me if I could help her tune her guitar before she played, so I went behind the stage with her but she didn't need help tuning the guitar, she just wanted to give me a hickey which was weird because we were both like 30

I think she, and everyone else, thought i was delivering a serious poem.

I may not remember writing it but after reading it im pretty sure it was not supposed to be a serious poem. but i suppose art takes on a life of its own.

china bot posted:

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner
PRINCIPAL
were in the closet
making babies
CLOSET
opposite of classroom
MAKING
opposite of learning
and I SAW one of the babies
...and the baby looked at me

fruit on the bottom posted:

It’s a more interesting world when we choose to believe. I choose to believe that the story about the bf who befriended a wild eagle is true, because I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t believe that.

china bot posted:

you were...just a kid

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Yeah, so is that hot dog.


Edit:

Urban Dictionary killin' it with the banner ads.

Parahexavoctal posted:

Normally I wouldn't fuss about design elements that include two columns of four rounded pink rectangles each, superimposed on an isometric projection of a globe, but in this context....

AMISH FRIED PIES posted:

in this context they forgot the ring

chernobyl kinsman posted:

Laterite posted:

We Know Catheters posted:

Wifi Toilet posted:

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

lmfao I just tried to GIS "poop knife" to share the story with a coworker, and apparently it's become A Thing:



tag yourself, I'm Feces Falchion

Araenna posted:

value-brand cereal posted:

Please read this thread, or at least this posters posts

Moon Atari posted:

Mine was mockery of a racist element in an otherwise interesting OP, delivered in such a way as to derail an ugly and unproductive argument. It worked well in context but then the argument was replicated here without my wise but gentle guiding hand to steer the hapless masses away from the rocks of serious posting to calmer shitposting seas.

Aphrodite posted:

Sonic isn't a hedgehog he's a Hedgehog.

Moon Slayer posted:

WrenP-Complete posted:

They are referencing an old Sears Kenmore commercial for central AC.

efb, wow that was fast

Subjunctive posted:

Oh, I wonder if that ran in Canada. It doesn’t ring a bell. Thanks!

space uncle posted:

But that’s no fun. I don’t come to this website for genuine personal reflection and the realization that as flawed human beings we must strive to become better.

I need you to double down, triple down, start posting unsourced bizarre articles, try to doxx the naysayers, and then beautifully melt down when some kind of bizarre sordid past emerges. (It turns out you’re banned from traveling to Greece and Italy solely due to anti-Roma racism, and you named your pet dog Gyppo the oval office).

1stGear posted:

*credits play, GUEST STARRING RODNEY DANGERFIELD appears onscreen*

Ghost Leviathan posted:

They also sometimes sound like they're loudly burping all night.

Lobok posted:

I thought you most of all weren't supposed to go in there.

Dixville posted:

Why the gently caress would you shave a husky?
How the gently caress would you shave a husky?

thepopmonster posted:

Early in the morning?

Besesoth posted:

Fifteen men on a shaved dog's fur
Yo ho ho and a bottle of flea killer

Shut up Meg posted:

Ladies and Gentleman: our place in history.

Randaconda posted:

Phy posted:

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

That may be the worst line he ever wrote. It’s just so bad.