Tide posted:

Keep in mind that I say this as someone who is pretty drat happy with the way life has worked out. I have a well paying job. I have a great wife. I have an awesome kid. By and large, aside from being a good 20-30 lbs overweight, I'm pretty healthy. I'm a decent enough looking guy that if I were divorced tomorrow I wouldn't have problems lining up a date by the weekend. I have a couple of friends that I feel like I can share my worst fears with. Beyond those two, I have a fairly robust social network of friends. Not overly tight with family, other than my parents (it wasn't always this way), but that's never been a 'thing' and that's 'okay'.

So all that taken into consider, in my 42 years on this earth, I have come to the inescapable conclusion of the following:

Life, as it is, for 99 percent of us, is a giant pain in the dick. You lose more than you win. You will fail more than you will succeed. Work sucks rear end. Things rarely, if ever, turn out like you want - never mind how you plan. The only thing that happens quickly is something bad. Something good takes time. Despite the income, I hate my job. I hate that my house isn't exactly how I want it. Most of us, unless we have some serious willpower, live paycheck to paycheck. I have a decent 401K built up and a pension, but no where near enough in my immediate savings.

But.

All of that is...okay.

Here is what I have accepted...

My job is not a reflection of who I am, it is merely a means to an end. That end is providing a pretty good life for my family. As long as I can do that, I'm happy.

My dick is not as big as I want, and that's ok. It's big enough to get the job done. I'm a grow-er not a show-er.

I smile and laugh as much as humanly possible. I feel like I sometimes I MAKE myself be happy. I watch the poo poo out of feel good videos which vary from bullies getting their rear end kicked/comeuppance, to cats falling off things, to puppies and babies, to good things humans do for other humans and or animals. I'm also a crier so it makes me tear up watching humans do for other humans and or animals.

Things that make me unhappy or affect my outlook on life or anything general, I avoid. It's admittedly akin to being an ostrich and sticking my head in the sand and that dovetails to...

What I can control is what I worry about. What I cannot control, I simply don't worry about. It is what it is or will be. I will deal with "it" when and if "it" comes.

It is ok to lose and ok to not succeed. It is a learning experience to doing better then next round.

Learning? I try and learn something new every day. Doesn't matter what it is, but if there's some stupid thing I want to learn or I have every wondered about, I try and figure it out/learn about it.

I'm a hugger. I tell my family I love them a hundred times a day. I tell my closest friends "Hey, man...love ya mean it". It makes me feel good. And the cool thing? They say it back. Hell, I got a bit misty writing that. Huggin' makes me feel good. So I do it.

I cried like a baby 10 minutes into Pixar's Up. I teared up on Toy Story 3. I positively BAWLED at age 32 after watching the Fox and The Hound. And I'm 100 percent ok with that.

I help others because it feels good to do it. And it's good to help others anyway, but there's a certain feeling you get from doing something good.

Even though I hate it, my house will eventually GET THERE.

And all of that is okay

I could keep going and going, but the point is, if I am capable of making one is this.

Life is hard. Wear a helmet. Much of your life is controllable to a certain outlook and a certain maturity. What's not is that weird part of your brain that needs some medical help balancing itself. I haven't always been this...happy. But much of that happiness is me making myself happy. I try and dress well. Not wear a suit and a fedora, but just look...sharp. I keep a clean haircut. I shave most every day. I make my bed every day as a signal its time to get it on. The day is a challenge and I want to meet it. I want to beat it.

And it's okay if sometimes I don't.

If you are unhappy, and therapy or pharmaceuticals aren't doing their job, find out what is making you unhappy and simply change it. Easier said than done, I know but the fact is, it will not happen today. It may not happen tomorrow. It may not even happen next loving year.

It's kind of like the riddle of "How do you eat an elephant?"

One bite at a time

Everything in life is a step. It may be a couple steps back or it may be a tiny baby step foward. Even side ways. But you WILL eventually take steps forward. And when you do? Celebrate the gently caress out of it for a bit. But keep your eyes on the next step. Because it's a shift fucker and you have to roll with it. You have to take control of what YOU can control. Building a habit builds a routine. All the great things in my life took steps to achieve. It took loving WORK. My marriage, which is damned strong, takes DAILY work. Whoever says marriage is easy! is full of poo poo. There is no easy day in ANYTHING. Raising a kid? Hardest damned thing I've ever done in my life. But he's a damned good kid because of the work we put into it.

Maybe all that sounds like 'pick your bootstraps up, and quit being a bitch'. But I've been homeless and living out of my car. I've eaten off other peoples plate when I worked/waiting tables at restaurants because I had no money at the time or the money needed to go elsewhere. I've been fired from jobs. I've been laid off. The wife left me for a while because I was an immature selfish bastard. I've worked 100 hour weeks so that my wife could stay home after our kid was born.

I generally hate motivational speakers, but there's one guy that really spoke to ME:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPqprN5nrJg

But he's 100000000000 percent right. Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever. Find your motivation. For me? It's simple. My family and friends. It's not having a six figure salary or bank account, it's simply my family and friends and being able to provide for THEM. I'll loving shovel poo poo 23 hours a day if that is what it takes. My goal isn't money. My goal is their security, their freedom, their well being, their happiness. Money is just a big part of the equation to secure those. You have to find your motivation and define your success.

The person I was 20 years ago is NOT the person I am today. I was an angry, selfish, short tempered, immature rear end in a top hat with a chip on my shoulder because of <reasons>. I had major trust issues. I was paranoid.

Then one day I woke up and decided I simply was not going to be that guy anymore. I dropped every single thing I had, moved, and essentially step by step became who I am NOW. It took me 10 years from THAT point of breaking negative habits and outlooks and finding out WHAT made me angry, unhappy, miserable. I began taking leaps of faith that the person in front of me was genuine. It took years, but being positive and happy became habit. I came to terms with absentee parents and vowed I would NEVER be that way with my kid(s) when and if I have them. Every day is a fight to make myself 'better', for lack of a better word. Be a better friend. Be a better husband. Be a better father. Be a better person.

Life, for pretty much everybody, takes work. A lot of work.

Get to it.

Subjunctive posted:

I don't find that very funny, I have to say.

Slavvy posted:

Your dog could also step onto the center console and bump a conventional lever from D to N too though.

What I'm saying is don't be one of those horrible people that treats their car like a zoo enclosure.

El Jebus posted:

There are regular dogs at your zoo? That's impressively boring.

Wasabi the J posted:

It's a shih tzu

djdanno13 posted:

Youth Decay posted:

PRADA SLUT posted:

was i picked on in design school? hmm let me think
* Weighed 7500 square feet
* Parents were both Frank Gehry (long story)
* Store bath robes everywhere
* Had the word "home" instead of a wall

Karia posted:

Trevor Hale posted:

Does anyone have the post from the last week or two that was about missing the Forest for the trees but had very specific car references?

Strumpie posted:

as i take my 4WD JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE off-road and slam the accelerator, i see an old man frantically waving at me. through the roar of the 3.0L V6 MULTIJET II DIESEL i think i can make out the words 'the forest, the forest!'
i laugh at the old man, 'hah!' all i see ahead are trees.

BraveUlysses posted:

I think there's an ongoing lawsuit against one or more of the pellet brands because they aren't using pecan or apple wood, they use whatever kinda wood is convenient and treat it with pecan, apple, hickory flavored oils

InitialDave posted:

That's a hickory dickery docket, then.

Basticle posted:

this guy was arrested in my hometown yesterday for trafficking in heroin/fentanyl

LifeSunDeath posted:

there are so loving many of these

Armitag3 posted:

Bobby Digital posted:

Solice Kirsk posted:

Debunking the myth that there are no female ore chasms.