GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Also the best open relationship stories start with one partner pressuring the other into it and end with the whole plan backfiring mad style

quote:

Ok. This is long but I have a lot to get off my chest.

How we met: We met about 2.5 years ago on OkCupid. She lived close, we met up and got on well. After a few months we decided to get together. We were not open at this point. The relationship was great emotionally. She was sweet, attentive, caring and supportive. We also had a lot in common and had fun together, which is what I lacked in previous relationships so I was keen to keep this one and still am.

Becoming open: Around 6-7 months ago give or take, I found myself feeling disconnected from her and the relationship. I was looking at other women quite a bit, and couldn't seem to stop even though I DID feel guilty. I ended up singing up to a sex-themed website (fetlife.com). This is NOT a dating website, I wasn't planning to cheat when I signed up, it's more a social network and I was mainly interested in looking at pictures posted there.

When I was on this website it was like I found what I thought I was missing. Loads of hot girls, who seemed happy to interact with me, mainly. I started commenting on pictures and girls started talking, flirting with me. I knew things were getting inappropriate for the relationship but I couldn't stop. I really wanted to hook up and date again, and experience these other women.

Not meaning offense to my girlfriend, but she's a big girl (had been since I dated her though so I didn't feel it was my place to say anything) and while I enjoyed her body, I can't deny that the draw of all the hotter women on the website who were seemingly interested in me was too much and I was feeling more and more disconnected from my relationship with this gaping hole in my needs not being met. I still loved my girlfriend and she fulfilled me emotionally, but physically my desires were completely elsewhere. Eventually I realised that the best thing for me to do would be to open up the relationship or break up with my girlfriend.

I spoke to her about this and, well, it broke her heart at the time. She was sobbing on me the whole night of me talking to her about it, saying she wanted to be monogamous and she didn't like the thought of an open relationship at all. She asked for a couple of weeks to think about it, which happened, but when we spoke about it again she told me she still didn't want to do it. I had to tell her at this point it was this or break up as I didn't feel fulfilled. At this, she said okay, she would try the open relationship.

So, in short, she agreed to the open relationship even though she hated the idea as she didn't want to break up. She wanted to know how an open relationship worked so I set down a few ground rules and boundaries which we both agreed to. Mainly things like.. sleep with whoever you want whenever you want, but always with protection. Casual dating is allowed as long as the person you're dating knows the situation (since it's hard to sleep with someone without a date first). Our relationship shouldn't suffer and we still need to be there for each other. etc.

My Problem. Less than two months later from this, she's signed up on FetLife too and now 100% enjoying herself. There are men crawling all over her, her profile, her pictures she's put up. I know for a fact that she's been on a heck of a lot of dates, both with people from the website and off it, and I also know she's been intimate with many of them too (I keep seeing comments on her pictures saying vulgar things like 'God I miss my mouth around those beautiful breasts' etc from other men who I know she has been on dates with..)

Me, on the other hand? I've not hooked up with anyone, and only had one date. All the women who seemed to be interested in me turned out to only want to flirt online and only wanted attention, and when I brought up meeting up with any of them I got rejected. The only women who wanted to at all meet me or go out with me I wasn't attracted to. I went out with one local girl from Fetlife just to give it a chance, because my own girlfriend had found so many dates/hookups, but I just couldn't bring myself to be attracted and nothing happened. I havn't been able to find anyone else who wants to sleep with me off the website either. Me and my girlfriend still date and sleep together of course, but besides that I'm completely dry. I don't think this is at all fair on me considering how many dates she's been on and I imagine how many guys she's hosed.

It got worse recently. Just this past Friday night I go out to the late night shop, and on the main road I find my girlfriend standing outside a pub with a guy, holding hands and making out. He was at least 6'4, muscles everywhere you look, arms covered in tattoos (which I know my girlfriend likes). I feel like poo poo. My girlfriend sees me, immediately breaks away from him and comes over smiling all over her face. She hugs me, kisses me, then the guy comes and introduces himself. It was awkward as gently caress honestly, but my girlfriend didn't seem to notice at all. After stupid chitchat I tell them I need to get going, at which my girlfriend tells me she loves me, kisses me and that she will text me the next day as she wanted a date with me the next night. She then says she's going to go into the pub to visit the bathroom, and asked her "date" to wait outside for her and then after they'll "get going" (back to her place I assume..).

So I start to walk away as she goes into the pub to the bathroom, and I hear the guy say "Hey" behind me. I swear he had the biggest poo poo eating grin all over his loving face. He said to me "Mate, you're a better guy than I am. If I had a lady like that I wouldn't let anyone else touch her. Lucky for me you guys have this open thing going on". He said it like he was pretending to be friendly, but obviously it was a dig because he could tell I wasn't happy right then. I just nodded and walked off.

My girlfriend rang me Saturday afternoon and I told her what happened and what the guy said, but she swears that he was just being complimentary/polite to me and that he's from FetLife, and knows all about our relationship and my own profile on there which is why he was chatting to me. I told her that I still thought his comment was inappropriate and that I didn't want her dating this guy again, to which she said 'Okay' but she obviously wasn't happy about it. I didn't ask if they had hooked up, because I could already tell they had with how she was all over him. I told her I didn't feel like I wanted to hangout that night. She hasn't contacted me since then.

I feel like utter poo poo. I'm going to be honest and say I have no idea why a guy like that is interested in my girlfriend and not out with a hot girl. I had no idea my girlfriend would get this much attention and it makes me feel like poo poo. I now realise if it's not this guy, it's going to be another with his hands all over my girlfriend. She has guys all over her, most likely just using her, but most of them more attractive than me and god knows what else............ and I only manage to get one date with someone I wasn't even attracted to. I still feel unfulfilled.

I'm on her FetLife profile now while writing this and I have to look at this poo poo every day, and her relishing in it without ANY thought to my lack of dates. Not once has she asked me about my dates or who I've met off FetLife, and it's obvious my profile is barren of any interaction compared to hers.

I can't really fault the relationship I have with my girlfriend if I'm honest. She's still her sweet, supportive self and she does make time for me, but I feel this open relationship has gotten really unfair now.

So that's it. I don't want to break up with her but I want it to stop, and to close the relationship again. But because it was my idea to open it, and we went through that difficulty before she started enjoying it, I don't know how to bring it up or what I say when I do. I just know it's got to stop now and this can't be healthy for either of us.

tl;dr: Asked my girlfriend for an open relationship so we could both date and sleep with other people. My girlfriend has been on way too many dates and I'm sure she's hooked up with a good few too. I havn't. Feel the open relationship has gotten way too unfair towards me and I want to close it, but because it was my idea I don't know how to bring it up to her. Need advice on how to do this and close the relationship again.

Jeza posted:

So, this is amazing?

Olive Garden tonight! posted:

Do you have to be a watch weirdo to understand this

Dead Reckoning posted:

Dr. Tim Whatley expressed his opinion of another goon's fashion choices by printing out his post and pissing on it.

Spanish Manlove posted:

Yeah that's a totally normal and not gross way to post.

The MSJ posted:

Palpek posted:

Tenterhooks posted:

Palpek posted:

Improbable Lobster posted:

Incorrect.

TheKennedys posted:

when the same weird sex things continually come up through their entire body of work (see Anthony, Piers) one starts to think that maybe those things might be things they actually believe

Blue Footed Booby posted:

Correct.

For those unaware, this manga is about a fantasy world with goblins--the traditional kind, with squinty eyes and long, pointed noses--that threaten mankind. They can only reproduce by abducting and violating human women.

The unnamed, faceless main character has concluded that goblins must be exterminated--even the children--before they can completely undermine and corrupt human civilization. The fact that this seems brutal and awful is why it must be done: the goblins would do the same to us, but wouldn't feel bad about it.

If this sounds like something a Nazi would say, you are correct: it mirrors a speech given by Heinrich Himmler to guards at one of the camps. For all I know this thesis is repudiated in volume two, but I'm sure as poo poo never gonna find out.

This manga showed up a few years back and managed to bait a few people like me into picking up the first volume because it comes across as a potentially interesting action dark fantasy if you read a synopsis that actively conceals that it's super rapey fascist propaganda.

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/SRREcOd.mp4

Paladinus posted:

I can see the dude has feelings towards his saw, but I don't really see it reciprocating.

Dameius posted:

Those were such good threads. Especially Starship Troopers.

Jedit posted:

You're going to have to tell me what a "hotep" is, because it sounds hella racist.

E: but it does seem that Lilly was a natural casting fit for the Wasp.

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

I made a DOOM map of the McDonalds I worked in at the time because DOOM mapping is fun and easy and also I loving hated that job.

I wasn't about to go on a shooting spree irl though, that's what the DOOM map was for.

barbecue at the folks posted:

The "best" thing about reading old TCC threads is seeing all the permabanned posters and realizing that they are banned for dying from OD'ng, not from shitposting. I think there was literally a poster (posters?) who began with "i'm just gonna start doing some recreational heroin like all the cool peeps around here are doing no worries i know what i'm doing" and their account gets banned after a year or so, having run their entire life off a cliff. I was in my early twenties and still interested in trying out all kinds of poo poo, but reading TCC scared me straight from ever getting involved with serious drugs. (H)arm reduction at work

Paladinus posted:

I always add, at least, a couple of extra commas to all of my posts, in order to signal that there is always a clear authorial intent.

Trochanter posted:

Major Laurier had picked the wrong day to change meth dealers.

The sharp pounding in his head had started just as the scramble alert came on. A Russian Tupolev Tu-95 bomber had blatantly violated Canada's northern sovereignity and was headed for the strategic city of Yellowknife. It was up to his squadron, No. 420 Harper's Harriers to show those Slav bastards what-for with their state-of-the-art C-35 war machines... and peacefully escort them out of Canada's airspace.

Now, he was alone. Captain Fraiser's C-35 had flown through a cloud and the moisture had torn its skin from its fuselage. The rookie, Lieutenant Dorian, had attempted a gentle banked turn and the strain on his engine was too great. His plane exploded in a hail of fire, cheap steel and packing peanuts. He didn't even have time to scream. loving hotshot, thought the Major.

The Tupolev was zooming southeast at a blistering Mach 0.3 but he was slowly closing in on his prey. He had already dropped his external fuel tanks, all four of his bullets and his missile to stay airborne, and the airframe was shuddering like his Chevy Cavalier on the Trans-Canada Highway. The radar app had crashed an hour ago and OnStar was useless. No, I don't want to find a loving gas station, I'm trying to intercept a warplane! Nonetheless, he had followed the contrails left by the bomber in the northern sky. He knew he was close. And then there! On the edge of his horizon, a vast twenty miles away, were the Russians. He clenched his jaw and punched up the afterburners. The plane kicked and lurched like a mechanical bull with half the gears broken. He set course to ram his plane into the hulking turboprop. I knew I wasn't coming back from this mission, he thought. I'm a C-35 pilot. We don't come back. But at least I'll take these assholes with me. His squadron's motto, gently caress EVERYONE AND PISS ON THEIR ASHES, rang in his ears as his HUD flashed a 404 error.

Meanwhile, on the Russian plane...

The Major was five miles from the bomber when he heard a new and unfamiliar bang. He tried in vain to look behind him, but from the corner of his eye, he could see a great crack forming on his left wing. He knew at once what it meant. The epoxy that kept the plane together was never meant for such extreme temperatures. His plane was literally coming apart at the seams. How he wished he was in an Avro Arrow now. With a sickening CRRRACK the wing tore itself free from the plane and the C-35 went into a death spin. The Tupolev continued on, oblivious.

Amidst the alarms, klaxons and spontaneous fire, Frasier bit his lip and thought of Maverick. Then suddenly he remembered his training. One of the Powerpoint slides had mentioned that the ejection seat was NOT made by Lockheed, but by a British company! Hope sprung in his breast; perhaps he might survive this ordeal, and achieve his dream of becoming a cyberathelete! In desperation he lunged at the ejector handle. The seat roared upward into the void and while the canopy didn't deploy, it didn't matter; the cheap glass was shattered easily by his hundred thousand dollar helmet.

The Major breathed a sigh of relief as the chute deployed and slowed his descent. He took one last glance at his plane, which plummeted like a meteor into the ground and exploded. It was a bittersweet sight. At the very least, he thought, he had saved half a billion dollars from the clutches of the poor, the needy, the nonwhite and Quebec. The thought made him smile.

The ejector seat landed with a soft thud on a river bank, narrowly missing some pine trees. He looked around at the bright sky, the green grass and river teeming with fish. This unfamiliar hellscape sent chills of fear down his spine. If I liked the outdoors, he thought, I would've joined in the army.

Thus began Major Laurier's desperate bid for survival in the harsh subarctic summer, where temperatures could drop to nearly below freezing. In the distance, a beaver roared.

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/JPrmtyB.mp4

CloFan posted:

freeedr posted:

People seeing honking as rude and an affront are crazy to me. The horn is a safety device and I’m glad to know where all the huge heavy rolling bombs are. Honk that horn. It’s the opposite of angry or aggressive

Trabant posted:

________________________/

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Actually came up in the bad with money thread a while back that a lot of the internet scam ecosystem is in itself a scam, tools and playbooks being sold to people that may not actually make any meaningful amount of money off them.