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Maoist Pussy

by Lowtax
Oh dear.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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Ralp

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

oliwan posted:

yes i totally agree with that, but it england this was definitely not how they were used, they were used as standalone food with crackers etc. like in the rest of europe.


well like i said in england they definitely did, and cheeses for dessert and all that is also common.

This is weird and dumb and disappointing, but now that I think about it more, not really surprising. England is really committed to the cultural gimmick of bland cuisine.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

treasure bear

grate that cheddar

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN

joke_explainer posted:

If bleu cheese is unfamiliar to you I'd work my way up to Stilton. Start with gorgonzola or maybe even a milder one. I love Stilton but a lot of people get spooked

The only thing I'm worried about is the texture, not the funk.

alnilam

Personally i think stilton is actually more accessible than other blues, maybe that's just my opinion tho

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
Oh man I missed the first four pages of a cheese thread!

oliwan posted:

anyway thats my cheddar story

Man, I get where you're coming from, but you're just ... wrong. Like, you clearly have a huge preference for the really powerful cheeses, but you've just taken that and decided that that's what cheese is, and I don't understand how you can post that cheese is not subtle and then make a post about camembert like half a page later. Many strong cheeses aren't subtle, but there's a huge world of subtlety in cheeses, and many people who haven't developed the palette for it will find things like camembert or brie to be just really bland, maybe just a little funky.

St. Paulin was mentioned earlier in the thread, and that's a fantastic cheese, but if you're ruling out the entire world of 'subtle' cheeses, then you'd completely miss out on it. Claiming that only things like roquefort that smack you in the mouth are actual cheeses is like claiming only poo poo like moonshine is actual booze; if it doesn't knock you over with its alchohol content then it doesn't count! You're missing out on a world of subtle variations. I mean hell, most of the flavour in 'nutty' cheeses is almost entirely an issue of subtle variance; unless it's just been absolutely destroyed by some sort of brute flavour process, you'll get a lot of people who simply won't be able to tell the difference. Someone who hasn't developed a taste for it isn't even going to know you've given him differenc cheeses if you offer him Emmental followed by Jarlsberg, or Brie vs Camembert, or parmigiano-reggiano followed by asiago followed by romano. Certainly not between differen bleu cheeses. Hell, you give somebody a strong cheddar then follow it with some gruyere or gouda and they might very well wonder why you've given them such a bland cheese.

I mean sure, cheddar is generally a fairly starter cheese, but just because it's a basic flavour doesn't invalidate the appeal of it. It's often done really poorly and cheaply, and you absolutely have to stay away from any North American cheddars, but a good, strong, aged cheddar shot through with salt crystals from the maturing process can be a treat. Even if you think it's all just salt, which I'd disagree with, it seems odd to rule something out for being overpoweringly salty then rule something in for being overpoweringly flavourful in some other way. Cheddar's just sort of like the vanilla ice-cream of cheese: people think it's boring and bland because it's 'the default flavour', but vanilla can be a great flavour when used properly, and it got so popular for a reason; it's accessible, it doesn't put people off, but there can still be a lot to appreciate when properly developed.

Anyway that's my cheddar defense. Poor cheeses.

Theglavwen fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Nov 13, 2015

alnilam

In Defense Of Cheddar: a critical essay by Theglavwen

alnilam

Appearing in this month's Der Spiegel

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
There were two points in there actually, one was a defense of subtlety in cheese, but I got too excited and it just ended up rolling in to the second cheddary issue :(

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
It's so hard to maintain a proper objective distance about such a passionate topic.

joke_explainer


You really think you need to avoid every cheddar in North America, like the continent itself is somehow tainted from making an excellent cheddar cheese? Beecher's is pretty amazing in my opinion, there's loads of small farms and shops now making their own cheeses from top to bottom that have learned from some of the best in the world. Dedicated people doing absolutely everything they can to make the best possible product they can happens everywhere in the world.

Of course, there's no grand tradition, like, where this particular area or family has been making amazing cheese since before history really started getting written down or whatever, so it can of course be hit or miss, but if you actual sample the best they have to offer in the US there's some great cheeses. Kind of the same problem with bakeries, your average croissant in America is going to be absolutely awful in the way that the 'average' croissant in France or Berlin or whatever would destroy it utterly out of shame of being in the same room with it, but that doesn't mean the US has NO good bakeries or zero bakers that come from a tradition or extensive training to make a great product.

Anyway, I don't think Oliwan was truly objecting to every cheddar cheese in the world, just the bog-standard processed government cheese standard that dominated the mass market cheddar cheese world for a long time.

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

joke_explainer posted:

You really think you need to avoid every cheddar in North America, like the continent itself is somehow tainted from making an excellent cheddar cheese? Beecher's is pretty amazing in my opinion, there's loads of small farms and shops now making their own cheeses from top to bottom that have learned from some of the best in the world. Dedicated people doing absolutely everything they can to make the best possible product they can happens everywhere in the world.

Of course I wouldn't say that any cheddar made in North America is going to be terrible, a good version of something can be made anywhere in the world by someone who knows what they're doing, but in general you're sure as hell not going to find it among the stuff that's regularly sold in north american stores, or exported in the name of America or Canada. Your standard Canadian cheddar cheese is some of the worst, most bland, most rubbery poo poo you'll ever find, for example, and while you can get alright stuff if you spend waaay too much money and buy a 5 year Balderson's or something, it's still basically just starting to develop into what you'll get elsewhere in the world.

You can get something good, but it's going to be from a specialist cheese maker somewhere, and not really in any way something you'd associate with a 'North American tradition', as it were. Dedicated people can make something excellent anywhere in the world, but at that point there's really no point in associate it with the area, that's just incidental.

joke_explainer posted:

Anyway, I don't think Oliwan was truly objecting to every cheddar cheese in the world, just the bog-standard processed government cheese standard that dominated the mass market cheddar cheese world for a long time.

Probably true, but I'd meant to object more to Oliwan's statement that cheese isn't/shouldn't be a subtle food ... I was just using the cheddar discussion to frame it and it kinda .. got away from me.

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN
This is a good cheese my sister once got for me

http://www.cypressgrovechevre.com/our-cheese/aged-cheeses/midnight-moon.html#.VkXmdK6rTMU

joke_explainer


Cypress grove does a nice fromage blanc too and chevre. They are are pretty available in grocery stores. Humboldt Fog is my fav cheese by them:

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
Sounds good, but I do always love the forced 'serving suggestion' sections on these things.

that website posted:

Serve with fig jam and seeded crackers or bread.
Try melted between slices of rustic sliced bread or as a decadent addition to macaroni and cheese.

Um, uh, slap it on some crackers! Err, oh, here's one, like ... a grilled cheese sandwich, or macaroni and cheese! But fancy like!

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
I'm going to eat my loving cheddar and enjoy it

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN
You're an irredeemable luddite if you eat cheese without some sort of bread alongside it.

alnilam

saying "europe is the only good place to get good cheddar" is like saying "san francisco is the only place to get good sourdough" or "new york city is the only place to get good bagels"... in other words, incorrect, but i can see how you would get that idea if you only buy the run-of-the-mill stuff they sell in supermarkets

like, when your average person visits san francisco, they come having heard of SF's famous sourdouggh, so they seek out a good bakery and get some, and maybe the only sourdough they've had before was from the packaged bread section of a supermarket so of course it was as lackluster as all packaged bread is, so they taste this bakery sourdough and holy poo poo that is good wowza! Even for people who live there, everywhere you look (full house reference) there are drat good sourdough bakeries staffed by skilled bakers, who dedicate themselves to making great bread... so it's no wonder people say SF has the best sourdough bread, because sourdough bread made by ANY skilled baker who has specialized in it, is going to be loving awesome, but SF happens to be a place where there are many such bakers and so it's just easy to come by. THere's nothing special about SF (the stuff people say about the air is bs) other than that a lot of people have specialized in making sourdough. But if you find someone equally specialized in any other city, their sourdough will be just as good, most people just either don't know where that someone is or that someone is too far away.

my point is saying north america only makes weak-rear end cheddar is false, but i can see how you'd get that idea if you go to a north american supermarket and buy the generic national-brand stuff, and that bland stuff forms most people's idea of what "cheddar" is. But, if you look around in north america, you can find really good cheesemakers as joke_explainer has said.

otherwise theglavwen's essay is correct

treasure bear

i work with someone who grew up in cheddar and i thank him for his village's gift to the world

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?
TIL im an irredeemable luddite

also wow this is a lot of information about cheese to take in at once

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN
Crackers are a type of bread to me, "bread" in that case means anything starchy

treasure bear

these shirts are bread.

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?
crackers are good and all but i like eating cheese off knives. it makes m feel like a hunter when in reality im in my living room listening to oliver heldens

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN
Do you at least have a piece of bread afterward? Or beer? (which is liquid bread)

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?
manlove all forms of eating cheese are cool and good yo

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN
Alright fine, but I still believe having cheese with bread is better than having cheese by itself, however I won't judge others for their habits.

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?
:hf:

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN
Cheese with meat, particularly some sort of cured meat, is also extremely pro. But I won't judge those who don't like cured meats, that's for god to do and the church to enforce.

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?
poo poo now i gotta go get some salsalito turkey

alnilam

stelvio cheese....

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Spanish Manlove posted:

Alright fine, but I still believe having cheese with bread is better than having cheese by itself, however I won't judge others for their habits.

Feel good thread of the god damned year right here.

I'm so moved

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?
real talk one of my buddies loves cheese and calls people names such as "cheese wizard" and "dick cheese"

he also went as a cheese wizard for halloween one year. i went as a guy riding a dinosaur.

Spanish Manlove

HAILGAYSATAN
also olives! gently caress! I always forget about those! poo poo. Oh well, next time I'm gonna have a cheese/meat/bread/beer combo I'll get some olives too and have a full on tapas night at home

It sounds gross as gently caress but I kinda like when olives are stuffed with anchovies instead of pimento. First time I tried some I didn't know why they were different, I thought it was some kinda home made thing since it was alongside a spanish tortilla made from eggs from chickens raised on that farm. But nah, the host just got them from the market in town.

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
Can I come to your next halloween party?

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?

Theglavwen posted:

Can I come to your next halloween party?

yeah bro totally whatre you gonna be

Theglavwen

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
Um, drat, uh ... cheese ... ghost.

alnilam

if you really want to spook ppl itt go as a kraft single :evilbuddy:

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
I'm going to dress as cheesus

Adiabatic

What have you assholes done now?
those are all great ideas im gonna be a guy riding a dinosaur again

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ChairmanMeow

Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
If I'm going to just sit down and eat a block of cheese, and I am, it will be sharp cheddar.

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