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I've been seeing a therapist for depression and have recently been diagnosed with it. I didn't really accept it at first, I always thought of myself as just another introvert. But the more we talked about what I thought were social anxiety issues, the more that we discovered that the common denominator was the I just didn't value socializing, which is essentially what the disorder is. I don't know if I actually get lonely, I just feel lovely when I think about what experiences I've been missing out on in the world without ever realizing it. I still don't completely understand the diagnosis. The way she put it, it came down to levels of severity. And a lot of the criteria of it make sense. I haven't spoken to any family in almost 2 years,I don't have any friends(although I do have some people I knew in highschool who moved away and hardly keep in touch with), I don't have a phone, I only leave the apartment for work, when I'm at work I keep to myself and hardly talk to anyone. I've worked the same retail job for almost nine years now, and hardly anyone knows me. There are other long timers there and I dont' know their names. I've also been officially diagnosed with ADHD, so even when people talk to me I hardly pay attention. None of this was apparent to me. People would point it out. I always considered myself ordinary. I've even had people get offended because of how I come across. It's like being Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm, except instead of remarks and criticisms, I offend people because I'm silent and don't participate, which has me come across as rude. The biggest problem is I don't have any feelings. I feel detached and like I'm losing touch with the world. Just indifferent. But the more I try to think about the disorder on my own and how I relate to it, the more I hit a dead end. So I figured having other people ask me about it might give me ideas and perspective. Ask me anything you want.
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Nov 17, 2015 19:20
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I am also schizoid. Not as severely as you, but serious enough to give me a diagnosis. A good text about it which I felt described the condition really well is Nancy McWilliams text about it, should appear in a Google search.
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Nov 17, 2015 20:58
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Ausmund posted:The biggest problem is I don't have any feelings. I feel detached and like I'm losing touch with the world. Just indifferent. This is a feeling that many people suffering from many afflictions e.g. dysthymia will describe. What treatments have you sought out and how have they been effective (or not) for you? What difference has your diagnosis made in your treatment? Meaning, now that you're diagnosed as schizoid, what has changed in how you attempt to address your perceived shortcomings?
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Nov 17, 2015 21:29
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eightpole posted:I am also schizoid. Not as severely as you, but serious enough to give me a diagnosis. A good text about it which I felt described the condition really well is Nancy McWilliams text about it, should appear in a Google search. ashgromnies posted:This is a feeling that many people suffering from many afflictions e.g. dysthymia will describe. I'm on two SSRIs for the depression and talk therapy. I don't really notice anything, their effects are slow and gradual, but if I forget to take them I feel pretty awful and light headed. Right now I'm trying to understand and accept SPD and figure out what I want. This is a big pain and a seemingly impossible answer and I keep hitting a wall. I've been seeing this therapist for over a year. quote:What difference has your diagnosis made in your treatment? Meaning, now that you're diagnosed as schizoid, what has changed in how you attempt to address your perceived shortcomings?  when I try to talk about feelings.
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Nov 17, 2015 22:37
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That is the my diagnose as well. Thanks for the thread, I am curious how it will turn out. Being schizoid is weird, as the public has yet to form its opinion about "us", while there are readily available categories for most other people. Well, "born loner" seems to fit.
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Nov 18, 2015 09:17
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Ausmund posted:The biggest problem is I don't have any feelings. If that were the case, your situation wouldn't be bothering you. How old are you? Dr.Caligari fucked around with this message at 12:46 on Nov 18, 2015 |
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Nov 18, 2015 12:35
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lllllllllllllllllll posted:That is the my diagnose as well. Thanks for the thread, I am curious how it will turn out. Being schizoid is weird, as the public has yet to form its opinion about "us", while there are readily available categories for most other people. Well, "born loner" seems to fit. Dr.Caligari posted:If that were the case, your situation wouldn't be bothering you. I'm 27.
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Nov 18, 2015 21:05
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Dr.Caligari posted:If that were the case, your situation wouldn't be bothering you. This is a real dumb post. What he means is flattened affect and very little intensity in what few emotions there are. I'm assuming, anyway. That's my experience, at least.
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Nov 19, 2015 10:03
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^^^ to be fair, I didn't word it very well. So I guess SPD is a pretty boring disorder to have, judging by a lack of response. Maybe I should have made this "Tell me about NOT having Schizoid Personality Disorder" to get more interest?
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Nov 19, 2015 16:55
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Ausmund posted:^^^ to be fair, I didn't word it very well. It's the middle of the workday on the east coast of the US. I'd give it some time. There's also the angle that a disorder characterized by flat affect and inability/extreme discomfort talking about emotions does not make it easy to write engaging posts about experiences. 
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Nov 19, 2015 18:59
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Alright, fellow personality disorderer. Borderline checking in. How does SPD affect you day-to-day? I don't work and live on benefits (UK). What happens if you need to take time off sick?
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Nov 19, 2015 21:17
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Hello fellow person with a personality disorder that has schizo in the name! (I have schizotypal personality disorder.) Questions: 1. How did you feel when you got your diagnosis? 2. Do people ever assume it's closely related to schizophrenia because of the name? I get that sometimes. 3.Do you find it has much effect on any hobbies you have?
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Nov 20, 2015 00:13
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Blue Footed Booby posted:It's the middle of the workday on the east coast of the US. I'd give it some time. english muffin posted:Alright, fellow personality disorderer. Borderline checking in. RikkiTikkiTavi posted:Hello fellow person with a personality disorder that has schizo in the name! (I have schizotypal personality disorder.) 2. Nobody would know. Don't have anyone to tell. And I would assume they would make that conclusion and I would have to explain the differences to them. 3. I don't really have hobbies. Any time wasters are solitary though.
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Nov 20, 2015 00:36
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Do you have any fun by yourself? How do you fill your time? T.V.? Games? How often do you smile or genuinely laugh?
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Nov 20, 2015 01:35
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PromethiumX posted:Do you have any fun by yourself? Uh, I guess so. I like to drink beer, watch youtube on my tv, play the ocasional game, or just use the computer. quote:How often do you smile or genuinely laugh?
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Nov 20, 2015 02:11
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Whenever I'm feeling blue, I watch two things: Norm's monologue at the ESPYs where he lets off the OJ zinger at the end and Norm "roasting" Bob Saget.
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Nov 20, 2015 04:43
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Holy poo poo, I might have this... Clarification, I have PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and ADHD courtesy of the military. But what you described, feeling detached from the world, no interest in social activities, etc is spot on. My family suffers the worst of it. Not long ago my wife asked if I love her, and I replied of course. But then she said something that stuck with me. It was essentially "no, some days you don't. You don't feel anything. You're just....there." And it's true. I feel almost void of all emotion. This is loving crazy. I need to check with my doc.
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Nov 20, 2015 04:47
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Ausmund posted:Besides when I was a young kid, I've never had my picture taken by anyone. Really? Why's that?
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Nov 20, 2015 06:47
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Well, one question would be if you can identify possible causes of this disorder, relate them to your behaviour and eventually work on it. This is really personal. An easier question would be if you feel your mind states are "fragmented", i.e. access to certain emotions are difficult/blocked, or if it is really low affect/anhedonia. Feel free to ignore if this is not the way this thread was meant to turn out.
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Nov 20, 2015 10:42
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faarcyde posted:Whenever I'm feeling blue, I watch two things: Norm's monologue at the ESPYs where he lets off the OJ zinger at the end and Norm "roasting" Bob Saget. I want to start watching the new season of last comic standing because norm is suppose to be judge, but I don't have cable and I don't think its on hulu/netflix.Soulex posted:Holy poo poo, I might have this... Thank you for your service. The Cleaner posted:Really? Why's that? lllllllllllllllllll posted:Well, one question would be if you can identify possible causes of this disorder, relate them to your behaviour and eventually work on it. This is really personal. Yes I do feel that way Not at all, any response is a good response.
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Nov 20, 2015 13:13
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Yeah I'm seeing someone. I'm definitely going to talk to them but it makes absolute sense. There are also a few things I didn't mention due to me flat out not wanting to say to strangers on a board, but it connects dots. I'm not hypochondriacal really. I avoid web MD and all of that because everything leads to cancer apparently. Instead I ask my mom who has been working in the medical field for 30 years. Typically it's better diagnosis and gives my actual doctors some building blocks. I'll put it this way. My second son was born last Thursday. I've yet to feel the emotion I should have felt when I saw and held him for the first time. I love him, and think he is adorable, but the ecstatic joy I should have felt taking him home and seeing him with his brother is absent. I'm sure it will happen eventually, but there is just a void of neutrality that swallows everything like that up. Not just that example, all aspects. I think I've really only felt sorrow and that was a couple of times over the past few years.
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Nov 20, 2015 17:39
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One thing I want to ask you is a thing I've asked many schizoids (and myself!!): Do you feel that you can intuitively understand people? A particularly insufferable schizoid person I spoke with once said he could "Sherlock scan" people and get a feel for who they are and all that jazz. I don't think it's very different from your run-of-the-mill empathy, but then again I'm not a professional.
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Nov 20, 2015 20:02
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Have you read the Stranger by Camus? I'm curious if you relate to the main character since he is characterized by a total lack of caring about poo poo that other people care about and it really bothers other people
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Nov 20, 2015 22:50
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Soulex posted:Yeah I'm seeing someone. I'm definitely going to talk to them but it makes absolute sense. There are also a few things I didn't mention due to me flat out not wanting to say to strangers on a board, but it connects dots. Expectations of what you are "supposed to feel" can be one of the most oppressive ways to cramp your emotional style so to speak
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Nov 20, 2015 22:52
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eightpole posted:One thing I want to ask you is a thing I've asked many schizoids (and myself!!): What situations let you meet "many schizoids"? Do you have meet-ups? Schizoid conferences? That sounds like it would be fascinating to see. What is it like when 2 schizoids meet?
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Nov 20, 2015 23:19
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ScratchAndSniff posted:What situations let you meet "many schizoids"? Pretty sure the answer is "internet"
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Nov 21, 2015 00:22
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Soulex posted:Yeah I'm seeing someone. I'm definitely going to talk to them but it makes absolute sense. There are also a few things I didn't mention due to me flat out not wanting to say to strangers on a board, but it connects dots. eightpole posted:One thing I want to ask you is a thing I've asked many schizoids (and myself!!): Commie NedFlanders posted:Have you read the Stranger by Camus? ScratchAndSniff posted:What situations let you meet "many schizoids"? Do you have meet-ups? Schizoid conferences? That sounds like it would be fascinating to see. What is it like when 2 schizoids meet? Trillian posted:Pretty sure the answer is "internet"
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Nov 21, 2015 01:47
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K, just asked my therapist and she said no I don't. She said that there are some parallel lines but ultimately no. Which is good, but also bad. because all I want is an answer 
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Nov 21, 2015 02:20
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Lame. What happens if two schizoids meet in the real world? Do they become buds? Are they like those fish that attack each other? Or do they just ignore each other? Can schizoids even recognize other people like themselves? What sports (if any) do the schizoids in the thread enjoy? Are team sports like football completely out? What about more solitary sports like hiking? Or individually competitive sports like tennis (singles)? As a somewhat introverted person, I've always been fascinated by people who have this kind of disorder. Sorry if I come off as offensive, but I really do want to ubderstand the ways this goes beyond simple introversion.
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Nov 21, 2015 06:45
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ScratchAndSniff posted:What situations let you meet "many schizoids"? Do you have meet-ups? Schizoid conferences? That sounds like it would be fascinating to see. What is it like when 2 schizoids meet? There's this group therapy thing in town where they force schizoids to interact. It's awkward and awful.
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Nov 21, 2015 09:33
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ScratchAndSniff posted:Lame. What happens if two schizoids meet in the real world? Do they become buds? Are they like those fish that attack each other? Or do they just ignore each other? Well uh usually when I meet someone I know is schizoid we usually just kind of recognize that we're not social at all and don't really talk. I've become good friends with some though, but that's usually just because we've bonded through hating the same people. None of those I've met enjoy team sports, but hiking is popular. We live in the hicks so it's a pretty easy thing to get into if you want and it loving rullllesss also you can smoke weed in the woods without risk of getting caught.
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Nov 21, 2015 09:36
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Soulex posted:K, just asked my therapist and she said no I don't. She said that there are some parallel lines but ultimately no. Which is good, but also bad. because all I want is an answer An answer for what? This thread is weirding me out. I am projecting really hard because I have felt, at various times, all the emotions and thoughts people have described in this thread. I've also loosened those patterns of conditioned thinking with effort. It's very difficult for me to think anything other than that this is "curable". Personally, having a therapist that challenged me on everything was helpful. E.g. if I was saying, "I don't have any emotions and I'm completely disconnected from everything" she would find a counter-example, and then make me meditate (which is a tremendously effective way of "unlocking" your emotions to your conscious mind if you feel like you're disconnected). 20 minutes of meditation daily for a little over a year permanently affected my ways of thinking and I don't relate to this as strongly as I used to. I still can slip into some of the old thinking patterns, particularly if I stop meditating and am drinking or smoking weed, but overall I'm in a better place.
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Nov 21, 2015 15:03
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Soulex posted:K, just asked my therapist and she said no I don't. She said that there are some parallel lines but ultimately no. Which is good, but also bad. because all I want is an answer ScratchAndSniff posted:Lame. What happens if two schizoids meet in the real world? Do they become buds? Are they like those fish that attack each other? Or do they just ignore each other? It's normally just focusing on solitary prefernces. Like I guess a schizoid sports fan would prefer to relax and watch games by themselves instead of other people. It wouldn't matter if they were team or solitary sports. I don't understand the appeal of televised sports, but playing them is okay. The gambling and sports betting stuff around it is intersting though. eightpole posted:There's this group therapy thing in town where they force schizoids to interact. It's awkward and awful. eightpole posted:Well uh usually when I meet someone I know is schizoid we usually just kind of recognize that we're not social at all and don't really talk. I've become good friends with some though, but that's usually just because we've bonded through hating the same people. ashgromnies posted:An answer for what? Is that like transcendental meditation? What do you do for your 20 minute sessions? How are you able to tell it was "unlocking" emotions?
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Nov 21, 2015 18:31
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Ausmund posted:Is that like transcendental meditation? What do you do for your 20 minute sessions? How are you able to tell it was "unlocking" emotions? I can't answer for ashgromnies, but I doubt it's TM. TM is a scam at best and cult at worst, which is like paying $100 for a bottle of water that taken from a free tap. Meditation is a great tool that you can learn in person from places such as buddhist centers (who usually offer free classes, free of any dogma) or 'new age' centers, as well as other places I'm sure. You can even learn by watching youtube videos, look up 'Ajahn Brahm guided meditation' if you want someone to talk you through a session. The hardest part of meditating is realizing how simple it is. You really don't need any elaborate directions to do simple samatha meditation.
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Nov 22, 2015 00:15
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You are doing fine with this thread. 1. Do you ever feel like social interactions are frustrating, maybe that you are doing something wrong during these interactions? 2. If I understand it correctly, personality disorders are one of the more controversial topics in medicine. Do you feel like your life was improved by being given a label for your type of behavior? Is there a specific therapy approach that you can now benefit from? 3. Do you experience suffering because of your condition? 4. You mentioned stuff like not feeling sad at a funeral, which is a pretty normal reaction to a funeral, just like crying is. Have you ever considered that you might still have lots of wrong, preconceived notions about what you should feel in any given situation?
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Nov 22, 2015 01:32
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Ausmund posted:Is that like transcendental meditation? What do you do for your 20 minute sessions? How are you able to tell it was "unlocking" emotions? No not transcendental meditation. It's what western psych refers to as "mindfulness". I do one 10 min session before work and one after. I spend a few minutes following my breath with all my attention, taking deep breaths of about 4 seconds per inhale/exhale, focusing on every detail until I feel a calmness of mind. Then I focus on nothing in particular, and note what thoughts and sensations come up. Doing this regularly brings you more in touch with the reality of your physical and mental processes, with some layers of conditioned response calmed and dulled. Jon Kabat-Zinn, notable psych badass, has guided meditation on YouTube that is secular and non-culty. As for how I knew it was unlocking emotions, I eventually began reacting to things more and feeling more connected to my actions rather than the cloudy dissociation I was used to.
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Nov 22, 2015 07:08
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I took one of those internet tests  and it said I had this. It does describe me fairly well, except that it seems more of a positive thing to me than a disorder. I'm a pretty happy person with a great life. Apart from my spouse and a few friends I don't care much for social situations and that's fine by me. I just don't need a bunch of irrelevant people in my life. My mother has narcissistic personality disorder and I've read that people with SPD often have a narcissist in their life somewhere. It seems like it's evolved as a defense.
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Nov 22, 2015 15:48
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waitwhatno posted:You are doing fine with this thread. 2.Maybe just a possible answer a, "oh so thats might be why that is" sort of thing. 3. It could either be an underlying cause or symptom of depression. 4. I probably do, and my therapist told me that people experience grief in different ways and that's perfectly fine. Dr.Caligari posted:I can't answer for ashgromnies, but I doubt it's TM. TM is a scam at best and cult at worst, which is like paying $100 for a bottle of water that taken from a free tap. Meditation is a great tool that you can learn in person from places such as buddhist centers (who usually offer free classes, free of any dogma) or 'new age' centers, as well as other places I'm sure. You can even learn by watching youtube videos, look up 'Ajahn Brahm guided meditation' if you want someone to talk you through a session. ashgromnies posted:No not transcendental meditation. It's what western psych refers to as "mindfulness". Cerebral Mayhem posted:I took one of those internet tests
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Nov 22, 2015 23:14
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Some time ago, somebody posted a link to a personality disorder quiz here and I took it. According to the results, I have SPD. Granted, an internet quiz doesn't take the place of a trained professional, but the more I read about it, the more it seemed to make sense. I can function well enough in social situations, it's just that I rarely enjoy doing so. The more formal the event, the more I want to stay away. I've been this way since I was a kid. I usually kept to myself and had no problems with that. Still don't. Mister Kingdom fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Nov 29, 2015 |
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Nov 29, 2015 02:04
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Mister Kingdom posted:Some time ago, somebody posted a link to a personality disorder quiz here and I took it. According to the results, I have SPD. Granted, an internet quiz doesn't take the place of a trained professional, but the more I read about it, the more it seemed to make sense. 
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Nov 29, 2015 16:20
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