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the big bad wolrf is arrested for destruction of property but the kind-hearted pigs don't press charges the wolf is put in a resstraining order for the pigs own good, the naive pigs want to make peace with him so they invite him over for tea, accidentally prompting his arrest again for violating the order |
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Dec 6, 2015 23:29
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 05:26 |
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the robo-tale of H.A.N.S.E.L. and Gretto-5000
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Dec 6, 2015 23:32
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Green eggs and daaaaaamn |
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Dec 7, 2015 00:18
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Come to the coffee shop every thursday for green eggs and poetry slam |
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Dec 7, 2015 00:20
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Once upon a time there was a magic kingdom where you could make your dreams come true if you tried hard enough and wished hard enough and were real good at what you do. in this aspect the kingdom was nothing like real life. now go to sleep |
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Dec 7, 2015 01:51
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Seuss was like Kafka, man... The lawn that's never done being mowed The machine that breaks in the night air, and once it's fixed breaks in the day air.. . The ring in the bathtub that won't go awayn.., Seuss is like, about futility man, but always with like, hope, y'know, like Kafka... |
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Dec 7, 2015 19:22
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The news :edgy: |
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Dec 7, 2015 21:22
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Alright then my name is Lefty Lonnagin and the reason they call me Lefty is because my right arm ended up in the gaping maw of a tiger. Why, you ask? Well it's quite simple, really. You see I tried to catch a tiger. By the toe. I don't recommend doing that! Now my friend Peter has some good advice! Peter: Hello! My name is Peter and boy do I like me some pumpkins! However, as a public service announcement and in lieu of time served for community service, I am required by law and a court order to remind you that imprisoning your wife in a pumpkin shell is not only unsafe and a potential fire hazard but it is also against the law, no matter how much you love them very well! Next up we have Missy "Little" Muffet to talk to you all about arachnids! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Dec 7, 2015 22:22
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the stork has to pay child support to your whore mother
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Dec 7, 2015 22:26
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stressed by the financial burden of having to provide child support to your whore mother Humpty Dumpty chose to take his own life that day. unfortunately Humpty was pieced together against his will, hooked up to life support, and now must face the additional burden of dealing with the United States healthcare system
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Dec 7, 2015 22:31
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facing defemation charges for telling everyone about what a whore your mother is, despite it being an indiscernible fact, Peter Cottontail is left penniless. growing more hungry and desperate by the day, Peter Cottontail devises a plot to steal from Farmer John's supply of carrots so that he may provide for his ailing family. tragically peter's live is taken from him during the heist by the cruel framer, who despite having more than plenty carrots to share, chooses instead to hoard them as a status symbol. The cottontail family perishes in the winter. half of the farmers carrot supply expires weeks later before anyone can consume it, but he has more. capitalism.
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Dec 7, 2015 22:42
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Alice misses her father. But after all the heinous things her mother said in court, altogether which were very much untrue, the judge ordered that she never see him again, except every other weekend, and every third holiday. instead, Alice chose to crawl into a rabbit hole and never return.
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Dec 7, 2015 22:51
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*Reading a "children's story"* What the gently caress is this? This isn't a children's story. This story was clearly written by an adult.
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Dec 7, 2015 22:55
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Goldilocks: I'd like to apply for a bear hunting permit please Game Warden: Get behind the three little pigs over there. They're here for a wolf permit. Little Red Riding Hood: Oh, me too please! Captain Ahab: I bet this ain't where I get a whaling license, huh? mouse: Is that a clock over there? Dr. Hickory Dickory: Why yes, I do believe it is! mouse: gonna run up that clock. Gonna run up it at 1 o'clock's what I'll do yep Waldo: I will bust a cap in the first muthafucka who says "found you!" Little Old Lady (residence- a shoe.): You watch your mouth, young man! **clock strikes one** Three Blind Mice: GO! mouse: I can do it! **runs up the clock** Moral of the story: 
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Dec 7, 2015 22:57
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misty mountaintop posted:*Reading a "children's story"* What the gently caress is this? This isn't a children's story. This story was clearly written by an adult. It says "3 yrs" on it, most 3 year olds can't even write ??? |
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Dec 7, 2015 23:43
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First little piggy... democracy Second little piggy... capitalism Third little piggy, that's right boys and girls... fascism |
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Dec 7, 2015 23:49
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Jack and teh Genetically Modified Bean Stalk. |
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Dec 8, 2015 01:02
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jack may have broke his crown. but in the fall, jill broke her neck. but the doctors...they can save her...by transferring her brain into a bean stalk for the first time ever. circumstances have changed now that she is more than human. what will jack do? will he survive? find out...this summer.
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Dec 8, 2015 01:43
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the merry go round tells a story, an endless chase among the cosmological spheres the most fantastical creatures always towards the outside where those born of earth cannot see, not moving up and down but still, calm, serene, perfect as they shift around in orbit the plainer races, the horses, towards the inside, chasing each other for all time under the spell of the calliope and never quite knowing why and finally, at the center of it all, the unseen master of it all, the music-maker, the godhead, the gears of time
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Dec 8, 2015 03:49
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Cinderella took a moment once she got to the castle to file a report with the Ministry of Labor and the Imperial Police force for the years of child abuse and slavery she endured, and her stepmother and siblings were sent to the dungeons with terrible blood poisoning from infected partial foot amputations. |
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Dec 8, 2015 04:59
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Fairies don't make for very good godmothers do they? She could've visited Cinderella at least once after her mother died. |
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Dec 8, 2015 11:25
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Here's some toll-free wishes I picked up at the airport. Oh dear, look at the expiration date... |
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Dec 8, 2015 11:28
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Come midnight it turns out they weren't toll free after all, huh? |
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Dec 8, 2015 11:29
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alnilam posted:It says "3 yrs" on it, most 3 year olds can't even write ??? Do you really expect me to believe the ludicrous notion that a two year old knows how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly? And that they could name so many things to eat? ---------------- |
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Dec 8, 2015 18:12
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alnilam posted:It says "3 yrs" on it, most 3 year olds can't even write ??? Three Years A Babe |
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Dec 8, 2015 18:41
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DeepQantas posted:Fairies don't make for very good godmothers do they? She could've visited Cinderella at least once after her mother died. lbr godparents are only in it for bragging rights and a sweet party/photo sess most of the time. Cindy's lucky she showed up at all. |
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Dec 9, 2015 05:14
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fema crisis actor posted:Seuss was like Kafka, man... I like you, and I really like Kafka. and one thing I know about kids is, they loving LOVE them some Kafka. |
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Dec 9, 2015 05:34
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"mommy why did gregor turn into a bug?" "well honey, errr..." "mommy I'm scared" |
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Dec 9, 2015 13:19
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 05:26 |
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well that was nice, now let's compare and contrast that version with the original grimm fairy tale |
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Dec 9, 2015 15:46
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