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Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Good news! Not everyone is getting a dm because GP fought tooth and nail against the idea even though you all loving deserved it for wasting both my time and my loving sweet prompt I mean seriously how the gently caress did you all collectively gently caress this up goddamn it you should be ashamed of yourselves this was legitimately a terrible week gently caress I even had some neat gifs all prepared for this judgement post but you know what I don't care I just don't care anymore you all have wasted my time and I'm just so incredibly disappointed and frustrated with how everything turned out good god gently caress you all if I hadn't promised GP not to DM everyone I swear to jesus because



This weeks loser is Marshmallow Blue. Thank you for coming up with a neat idea and then crashing it straight into my happy expectations leaving me with nothing but the sad, burning rubble of a bunch of lovely words describing this happened and this happened and this happened in a boring, linear fashion that didn't make me care about anything. Yay!

I did like your idea, though. Stick around. If you ever claw your way up to the bloodthrone I'll buy you a shiny new avatar myself.

Everybody give a big congratulations to Entenzahn. In a mind-baffling batch of skullfuckery, Entenzahn saw the super late submission end time and still somehow managed to miss it by several hours. This cost him the win because his story was "pretty okay" and that would have been enough this week. Way to go! DQ!

dmboogie, the throne is yours.

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dmboogie
Oct 4, 2013



THUNDERDOME WEEK CXCIX: EVERYBODY KNOWS poo poo'S hosed

Jesus christ, Thunderdome. Jesus fornicating christ. How the hell did you chucklefucks all manage to screw up badly enough to let me on the throne when no one else was looking?????????

In honor of this colossal miscarriage of good taste, this week's theme is everything going entirely to hell. Your castle is burning and the king's just been decapitated, your spaceship's been blown to poo poo and the life support system just failed, I dunno, the loving sun just blew up. I don't care if it's at the beginning, end, or middle of your story, but when all is said and done, it needs to be clear that everything is terrible and not going to get better anytime soon.

No fanfiction, erotica, google docs, poetry. Remember that just because life's gone to poo poo doesn't mean that your STORY has to be poo poo too, okay?

Signup Deadline: Midnight EST on Friday
Submission Deadline: Midnight EST on Sunday
Word Limit: 1000 words.

Cleanup Crew:
Me
sparksbloom
Oxxidation

Prospective Failures:
ZeBourgeoisie
spectres of autism
flerp
Marshmallow Blue
Thranguy
kurona_bright
Grizzled Patriarch
sebmojo
Ironic Twist
Entenzahn
Chernabog
Maugrim
Loutre
Tyrannosaurus
skwidmonster
a friendly penguin
Carl Killer Miller
Pippin
Jitzu_the_Monk
mistaya
Screaming Idiot
π
MG3
Chainmail Onesie
J.A.B.C.
Chili
ToastGhost
QuoProQuid
Killer-of-Lawyers
Sitting Here
Echo Cian
Kaishai
newtestleper

dmboogie fucked around with this message at May 28, 2016 around 04:18

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER


In.

take the moon
Feb 12, 2011



dmboogie posted:

everything is terrible and not going to get better anytime soon

truth

in

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


in

Hammer Bro.
Jul 7, 2007

THUNDERDOME LOSER

What? I didn't think this week's stories were that bad because I've only read two of them.

Chernabog

Drive-by impressions: Double-space your lines. It's easier to read in-browser. I know they're doing a thing, but I haven't yet clicked with the protagonists by the end of a first break. Possibly because I don't know what their motivations are, and if they're greedy or righteous robbers.

There are some commas that could stand to be periods. Technical style issues in general, though not rampant. How does one "display" their slick black hair? That's not the best verb there. Minor smirk at the pratfall with the security guard.

The action of dropping the USB stick is muffled by the complicated sentence structure. Shorter, simpler sentences would have more punch there.

I am garnering a little more empathy from the interaction with the lady. Those IT guys really do make excuses. I can relate to that situation.

The chase action is better paced. I read it quickly without pausing, except for a minor stumble in that screams were referenced twice in quick succession.

It's a nice gesture that Claude makes lifting Travis over, but it's not a meaningful gesture because the characters don't resonate with me. Travis is a guy who ?s and Claude is a nicer guy whose ? relationship with Travis contributes ? merit to that scene. Most I get from it is that he's a nice guy, when I think it was meant as a grander gesture of self-sacrifice.

The twist was a nice idea but it didn't have as much impact as it could've. I didn't get as much from the setup paragraph as you meant to communicate. I got the basic structure, but not enough of their motivations or greater situation, so it's more of a non-sequitur than a punch-line.

a friendly penguin

What's up with the tone and the tense in the first paragraph? It's all detached and encyclopedic and a mite off for other reasons I can't quite identify. The first couple of lines need to have a hook, something that motivates me to keep reading. Your lapse into unconsciousness is nestled at the tail end of the paragraph and with passive wording such that I almost didn't notice it as something significant. You're selling yourself short.

Again with the tone and tense; it does not endear me. The first line that works is "He needed to calm down.", though you were near overdoing the narrative questions just before that.

Is that 17+1 bullets as in 17 in the magazine and one in the chamber or 17 "+1 bullets" from urban D&D. I can't tell if you're being silly. "The longer it took to pounce" only works if it pounces. "The longer it went without pouncing."

You know about passive voice, right? It should only be employed deliberately, whereas it seems to be the default here.

The dialogue does work for me, and that's a reasonable use of a language barrier to create some in-world confusion that doesn't come across as ham-fisted.

The long paragraph feels more like a montage than a thing with significance. And all this passive voice makes any character development a narrated fact rather than an earned accomplishment.

The attention-grabbing farce definitely got my attention, and is the highlight of the piece. I'm not sure if the ending would've felt significant given my lack of understanding of the characters, but the passive voice and encyclopedic tone certainly muted what was there. Work on active sentences.

Marshmallow Blue
Apr 25, 2010


In drat it. I've hit rock bottom, and it's time to rise up and suck just a little less this week.

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

'Read over your compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.' -Samuel Johnson

In

kurona_bright
Mar 21, 2013


In!

Grizzled Patriarch
Mar 27, 2014

These dentures won't stop me from tearing out jugulars in Thunderdome.




In.

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

In,

also trex you goddam phony your words suck and your ideas are dumb, fight me. I'll crush you flatter than a Hawaiian tortilla.

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER



in

Hammer Bro.
Jul 7, 2007

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Mr Gentleman

The first sentence is a decent hook. But then I get a little suspicious of a boar working with a wolf, and I'm going to get tired of the word Johnsteinbeck right quick. Also wolves don't read Steinbeck.

Although now I'm intrigued again, because all the other animals have alliterative names. Either the wolf's name starts with a 'w' or it's not a wolf.

I actually am becoming endeared to your characters. They display their personalities nicely through conversation that I would believe is happening between the two of them, and I can imagine multiple potential things that could go awry.

I'm fine with the literary references, although I feel like they're only there so the wolf can get interrupted. And I'm agreeable to the suggestion of suggestion, so all of that went down easy. The prose was acceptable, as well.

The montage/interlude is well written, and I'm curious to see its relevance.

The ending is well enough cute and satisfying, but I think I would've gotten more out of a tragedy. Even though I figured early on the wolf would be shot at, I think the pig's unrequited curiosity in the stories would have lingered with me longer. Overall, good job.

Armack
Jan 27, 2006

Corde pulsum tangite


Free Crits, Week 198 – Buddy Week. Part I: Crits 1-8.

1. Chernabog – Corporate fiction

Summary

Two loathsome fellows execute a data heist…psyche!

Crit

The first thing that strikes me about this story is the poor formatting. Please space out your paragraphs, especially if your story is going to be saturated with this much dialogue. It just makes it easier to follow who’s talking.

-The prompt (your own) called for the fiction writer to be “disgraceful,” but odd as it may sound, disgraceful doesn’t have to be unlikeable. Disgraceful could have meant an otherwise interesting person who made some mistake in the past, thereby being disgraced. Instead you give us a boring fop, arm him with social awkwardness and a cringe-worthy joke (“Travisty”) and yet you expect the reader to want to keep reading about him? Give the reader somebody to root for!

-I recommend hooking the reader earlier. After the first section of your story, I know there’s going to be some spying, but I don’t know what the stakes of this spying are or why I should care. I also don’t know anything interesting about your characters. What at this point is compelling me to keep reading other than to satisfy my sense of completeness for this crit I’m now writing?

-The prose is kind of stiff. It’s got an unnatural sort of feel to it. Maybe consider narrating in a more conversational style? It might get you used to composing sharper prose.

-Sure, Claude is a pushover, but I’m not really buying him getting dragged against his will toward the short woman’s office. Seemed like even a character this passive could’ve done more to prevent that. And if this place of business really is in on all of this just being a prank (like the ending suggests) then wouldn’t the short woman know that Claude isn’t IT?

-“It’s just a flesh wound” is cliché.

-drat, the ending is not just bad, it’s insultingly bad. The implausibility of the guy’s workplace allowing him to pull a prank like this is awful. You literally explain it away with a shrug. Also, since we weren’t given a sense of the scope of Travis and Claude’s relationship prior to the prank, the fact that Travis set it up for Claude’s benefit lacks punch. Why does Travis care about Claude that much anyway? This ending is a twist just for the sake of a twist. It doesn’t add to the story in any meaningful way.

-One positive thing about the story is that the pacing of the heist itself is fine. Travis soaked in blood plus the chase scene did add some decent suspense, although you negated it with the ending. Also it’s nice that you gave weed a shout out for being a useful pain reliever.

2. Hammer Bro - Equites

Summary

Two intruders burst in on a couple and muse about whether or not the couple should get married or potentially procreate before it’s too late.

Crit

The story is vignettish. You had a fairly big overall word count to work with and plenty of time left to submit, so I’m not sure why you decided to go with such a non-story. There is minimal plot, characterization, or conflict. Your story is basically two randoms with different points of view intrude on two other randoms and start talking about marriage versus other priorities the couple might have. Somehow in this society people die young and give charity to strangers who burst in. Your language here is intentionally archaic, suggesting a medieval or fantasy setting, and that’s okay. But really the reader knows next to nothing about this world, the context in which the vignette takes place, the characters involved, or why anyone should care save for the abrupt hint at the end that the species is in dire need of procreation.

3. a friendly penguin – You have to get in to get out

Summary

A Russian spy gets bonked on the head, meets a god, they quickly learn to help each other and everything is a-okay.

Crit

-This is just a pet peeve of mine, so maybe take it with a grain of salt, but I really don’t like the ‘bonk on the head’ book/movie method of knocking a character out. It’s an overused device oftentimes deployed in stories that seem otherwise realistic. But if you think about it for more than a few moments, the knock out bonk doesn’t seem realistic at all. How does the attacker know the bonk won’t kill the person or lead to significant brain damage? Is there a particular severity of bonk that will reliably knock somebody out but not kill or vegetate them?

-The partial language barrier is a nice touch. The ambiguity of who Kata is and what his words mean introduces some mystery into the story. Well, that is if the reader hasn’t already seen the wunza.

-The Amazon setting fits your story well, and not just because of your wunza.

-The prose is a little unpolished, detached, and passive.

-I think the story itself isn’t half bad. One thing I like about it is that it matters that Vassily is a spy (i.e., his background intel on the area/language are important). I feel like too many writers would just leave the spy aspect as part of the character’s backstory rather than making it really matter.

-Even though the story is okay, it would be better if there were more conflict. There isn’t much tension throughout the story, and what tension there is certainly doesn’t develop in an upward trajectory over time. The beginning is somewhat mysterious and a little tense, but then the buddy stuff starts to happen and the characters are relatively safe. In addition, the characters’ motivations are at times vague. Why does Kata tell Vassily there’s a jaguar behind him? Does the god already know that this will cause Vassily to shoot a monkey, the body parts of which will be useful later?


4. Mr Gentleman – Escape from the Mudfront
Summary

A pig convinces a wolf to try to scare a farmer into offering better living accommodations. The farmer has a gun.

Crit

-I have a number of disjointed comments about your piece. The story is a bit dialogue heavy and doesn’t capture the reader’s attention well. You succeeded at giving your characters personality, but not at making them especially likeable or interesting. I’m not sure why Johnsteinbeck wants to help Bluebell or really spend any time with him at all.

-On the positive side, the running gag about Bluebell not caring enough about Johnsteinbeck to listen to him talk about his journey is amusing. And it’s nice that Bluebell shows some personal growth over the course of the story. Overall, I’d say the plot and characterization are kind of “meh” but this week was pretty weak, and I’d put you solidly in the middle of the pack. Had I been judging, I would’ve voted “no mention.”

5. Marshmallow Blue – They’ve Taken Mr. Chips

Summary

Vietnam vet gets his bird stolen, the bird tips off the vet about his kidnapper’s license plate. Then… the good guys find the bad guys and murder them.

Crit

-I’ve criticized some of the previous entries for being too dialogue heavy, and yours has a similar amount of dialogue but somehow it’s not that bad. Must be because that dialogue tends to come from or refer to your most interesting character (Mr. Chips), and it proceeds at a lively enough pace that there’s no chance for the reader to lose interest.

-The license plate gimmick was a nice touch, I like that you set it up so it didn’t come out of the blue during the phone conversation (the bird tried to read out the plate before getting stuffed into the SUV), and it was delightfully intelligent of Mr. Chips to use creative phrasing to fit the license plate into four words.

-You’ve got a several proof reading errors. I noticed inappropriate capitalization and some punctuation problems including missing commas, missing periods, and periods where there should be commas. I recommend reviewing the rules for where to put commas when transitioning from narration to quotation. Proofreading errors will cost you in the ‘dome, pay better attention to them. I didn’t judge this week, but I’m sure these errors contributed to your loss.

-The ending was problematic. I get that this a fun ‘buddies get the bad guys’ story, but murdering Jim and Sarah seemed way over the top. Granted, they were going to kill Brady, but Brady isn’t much better than them for resorting to straight murder. Between the egregious proof reading and the bizarre murder fantasy ending, I can see why you got the loss.


6. CANNIBAL GIRLS – Wednesday Morning

Summary

Truant kid knocks over cans, garbage man picks him up and lets him work the claw. He also tries to trick him into going to school.

Crit

-Your narrator has kind of a warm, almost folksy voice for an ex-con.

-Meh, it seems like preventing Orville from knocking over cans isn’t a good enough reason for the narrator to give him a ride.

-Seems like too much of a liability for the narrator to let him work the claw.

-Trex suggested a Dennis the Menace thing to anyone who used this wunza, so I can see why you put that aspect into the story. But there’s really not much conflict here, and the narrator doesn’t seem properly motivated to take the risk of picking up this truant and letting him work the claw. I think you would’ve needed to make things more pressing or urgent to make this work.

7. Jick Magger – Drats

Summary

Two dogs get loose and do dog things. One eats a rat and gets deathly ill.

Crit

-There are a couple typos, like “Yeah, I smell it to.”

-My main crit for this story is that nothing much happens. Your story doesn’t have much more to it than my above summary, yet you spent 1148 words on it. You show that the characters are dogs early on, and then you spend almost the entirety of your text driving that point home. Yes they are dogs, and yes they are doing dog things…but wouldn’t it have been kinder give your readers something to compel their continued reading? Like most of the stories this week, there isn’t a whole lot of conflict. Dog eats a rat, dog’s dyin’. 1148 words. In terms of characterization, you give the dogs a hint of personality, but not enough to make readers feel strongly about them. Had I been judging, I would’ve voted DM.


8. QuoProQuid – Veins and Arteries

Summary

An overachiever running for class president recruits a ghost in the hopes of getting her opponent disqualified.

Crit

-Hmm. There is either a lack of clarity or some logic problems in your story. So Lindsey must have been in communication with the ghost of Margaret prior to their meeting in the bio dept. Otherwise, they couldn’t have had set up the quid pro quo. So why did the bio department meeting need to happen at all, and why did Margaret have to possess a corpse? It seems like Lindsey could have used her previous means of communicating with Margaret (whatever those means were) to show her the husband/secretary sextape, and at the same time ask about intel against Claudia. It couldn’t be the case that only through possessing a corpse could Margaret see the sextape, because apparently Margaret’s ghost could see just fine if she was expected to be able to have seen incriminating things that Claudia might have done. And if Margaret suspected her husband was cheating, and was already a recent ghost while he was loving his secretary, why didn’t the ghost of Margaret go there and see for herself, instead of relying on Lindsey to sneak in and film evidence?

-Do university bio departments really keep semi-fresh corpses around? I’ve seen human skeleton displays in such departments and that’s about it.

-It’s not clear to me what Margaret means by telling Lindsey “You owe me.” Sure, Margaret did Lindsey a favor by destroying Claudia’s phone, but now that Margaret has the proof of her husband cheating, how can Lindsey really repay Margaret now? What could Lindsey do for Margaret that Margaret cant’ just do for herself?

-The ending really isn’t satisfying. If there had been one likeable character in the story, and if that character had prevailed, things would be different. But as it stands, Lindsey, a despicable person, gets one over on Claudia (an allegedly shallow person, but maybe not). The reader is not invested in these characters, and really none of them seem to deserve to get what they want. Had I been judging, I would’ve considered this a potential DM candidate.

Marshmallow Blue
Apr 25, 2010


Thanks Jitzu! Looks like I've got some (lots of) work to do, but at least I got some stuff right.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


I'm in and to submit a first draft to Kai until Sat, May 28th, 23.59 CEST

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


I want to judge a bigass slaughterbrawl. I've got a prompt ready and everything.

IF YOU HAVE WON OR HM'D AT LEAST ONCE, YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR MY BRAWL AND BE ASSIGNED A SHOWDOWN PARTNER. WINNERS GO INTO THE SOUND ROUND AND SO ON AND SO FORTH UNTIL THERE IS ONLY ONE. PLEASE POST AN AMUSING INSULT WHEN YOU SIGN UP, AND IF THERE'S ODD NUMBERS THE PERSON WITH THE WEAKEST BURN AUTOMATICALLY LOSES THE FIRST ROUND.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


I got a whole stable of hardcore prompts ready to test your mettle as writers, you idiot babies

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


I know that y'all have schedules and lives and loved ones and poo poo so this megabrawl will be staged in the background over the next maybe two months so everybody who wants in can find a place in their precious calendars.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning


ok fine im in for the pastry ball i guess

E: My amusing insult is that the person who I shall be brawling with never knew, but their parents never loved them and I'm sorry some Asian dude in a completely different continent at another timezone who has never seen them had to tell them this. Maybe they should reevaluate their lives and consider if such a knowledge would enrich their lives or make it worse. They should try to prove my insult would not belittle them and try to strive for the best, always. But for every single success in their lives they would have this little nagging feeling that "yo your mom&dad never loved u lol" was the whole reason they worked so hard and so far. And every success hinged on this line. And they would have to live with knowing that this line defined their path and destiny. Every step they take was because "... lol" by someone they never met.

sorry

yo your mom&dad never loved u lol

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at May 24, 2016 around 02:32

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

The only ball will be the ball I crush under my cyber boot in

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


these are some weakass burns you dipshit loving pissants

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER



In, and I need to go up against Oxxi so I can face him in a Homestuck Fanfiction brawl and still win.

dmboogie
Oct 4, 2013



I'm still not over the fact that you fuckers set the bar low enough for me to casually step over it and walk right in to the slaughterhouse.

take the moon
Feb 12, 2011



in for the megabrawl too there isnt a thing anyone can tell me

take the moon
Feb 12, 2011



my insult is that everyone but me is gay and im only like half gay

curlingiron
Dec 15, 2006

Adventure Awaits!


Fun Shoe

Hi this is your high school Algebra/Geometry/Trig teacher reminding you that you are exactly as stupid and inept as my class made you feel. Megabrawl me.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


spectres of autism posted:

my insult is that everyone but me is gay and im only like half gay

no ur all gay 2 but im gay still

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER



flerp posted:

no ur all gay 2 but im gay still

lol, you got burned by a word filter, no one else had to lift a finger

take the moon
Feb 12, 2011



its ok i mentally substituted

Oxxidation
Jul 22, 2007

a negative influence


Ironic Twist posted:

In, and I need to go up against Oxxi so I can face him in a Homestuck Fanfiction brawl and still win.

You sure? My fanfiction game is pretty strong.

But yeah ok, I'll play.

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

I hate you all so so much fyi

Chernabog
Apr 16, 2007



Thanks for the crits.

IN (not the brawl)

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

kind of important post?

Okay, since the thread is sort of a clusterfuck anyway, I wanted to pose this sort of inquiry thing here ok here we go: As many of you know, Week 100 was really cool. It was also basically a prompt takeover. The winner of week 99 judged week 101, and the winner of week 100 got a prize in lieu of judging. A specialized judging task force staged a fascist takeover of the dome and lots of fun was had by all.

So I guess my question is, would the participants of this week object to something similar? 200 weeks of Thunderdome is really loving cool and you should all be proud ashamed proud of yourselves for helping to make it happen. I've definitely talked to a lot of people who want to do something special for the week, though nothing is set in stone yet obviously.

What say you, Dome?

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

'Read over your compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.' -Samuel Johnson

In this meagbrawl
My sharp wit will mow y'all down
Like so much spring grass.

Armack
Jan 27, 2006

Corde pulsum tangite


Sitting Here posted:

kind of important post?

I support this idea.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


Sitting Here posted:

kind of important post?

Okay, since the thread is sort of a clusterfuck anyway, I wanted to pose this sort of inquiry thing here ok here we go: As many of you know, Week 100 was really cool. It was also basically a prompt takeover. The winner of week 99 judged week 101, and the winner of week 100 got a prize in lieu of judging. A specialized judging task force staged a fascist takeover of the dome and lots of fun was had by all.

So I guess my question is, would the participants of this week object to something similar? 200 weeks of Thunderdome is really loving cool and you should all be proud ashamed proud of yourselves for helping to make it happen. I've definitely talked to a lot of people who want to do something special for the week, though nothing is set in stone yet obviously.

What say you, Dome?

ur dum

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER



Sitting Here posted:

kind of important post?

Okay, since the thread is sort of a clusterfuck anyway, I wanted to pose this sort of inquiry thing here ok here we go: As many of you know, Week 100 was really cool. It was also basically a prompt takeover. The winner of week 99 judged week 101, and the winner of week 100 got a prize in lieu of judging. A specialized judging task force staged a fascist takeover of the dome and lots of fun was had by all.

So I guess my question is, would the participants of this week object to something similar? 200 weeks of Thunderdome is really loving cool and you should all be proud ashamed proud of yourselves for helping to make it happen. I've definitely talked to a lot of people who want to do something special for the week, though nothing is set in stone yet obviously.

What say you, Dome?

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Just do it you unbelievable bong ferret

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Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face



sebmojo posted:

Just do it you unbelievable bong ferret

Seriously why the gently caress are you asking politely if you can stage a military coup in your own thread

Worst OP ever

In for the megabrawl
In for the prompt

My cat is so dumb he started eating carpet this morning out of sheer confusion & he could still write better stories than you

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