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The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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ok fine im in for the pastry ball i guess

E: My amusing insult is that the person who I shall be brawling with never knew, but their parents never loved them and I'm sorry some Asian dude in a completely different continent at another timezone who has never seen them had to tell them this. Maybe they should reevaluate their lives and consider if such a knowledge would enrich their lives or make it worse. They should try to prove my insult would not belittle them and try to strive for the best, always. But for every single success in their lives they would have this little nagging feeling that "yo your mom&dad never loved u lol" was the whole reason they worked so hard and so far. And every success hinged on this line. And they would have to live with knowing that this line defined their path and destiny. Every step they take was because "... lol" by someone they never met.

sorry

yo your mom&dad never loved u lol

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 03:32 on May 24, 2016

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The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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09:40 Kaishai Ooh, Rhino, if you're going to potato you should try to potato in the Wednesday slot.
09:40 Kaishai Wednesday's child is full of woe.


WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?????? in

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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I'm in a plane and will have limited network. I allow the first person to quote this to choose for me the relevant senses for Wednesday

Sitting Here posted:

:siren: WEDNESDAY GOONS HERE IS YOUR FLASHRULE :siren:


The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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quote:

Prompt
“Man agonizes over his potatoes.”

Flash Rule
Hearing
Proprioception

http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/?story=4826&title=What+We+Say+to+Each+Other+When+We+Can+No+Longer+Talk

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 09:51 on Jun 20, 2016

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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PREVIOUS STORY FIGHTING MUFFIN WHO SOMEHOW ALSO WROTE A STORY INVOLVING A BOMB

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

:siren:MEGABRAWL ROUND 1:siren:

That's right - your piece in this inaugural round of the brawl must not have a story, narrative or any sort of forward arc. Make it evocative, and beautiful.

Rhino vs Thranguy

-----------------------------------
http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/brawls.php?story=410

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 09:50 on Jun 20, 2016

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Chili posted:

making GBS threads cat

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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magnificent7 posted:

I submitted something.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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magnificent7 posted:

It's a goddamn step.

That's the only thing that matters in your spoiler Ed post.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Cereal is not a staple breakfast of the non-white- homogenised society. First person to quote this gets to choose one for me. In.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Ironic Twist posted:

Count Chocula.

Benny Profane posted:

In celebration of your non-breakfast-cereal-oriented morning repast traditions, your story need not feature literal Count Chocula cereal. However, your story should include a main character named Count Chocula.

sweet

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Benny Profane posted:

In celebration of your non-breakfast-cereal-oriented morning repast traditions, your story need not feature literal Count Chocula cereal. However, your story should include a main character named Count Chocula.

Word allowance 1400 incl milk

---------------------------------------------------

E: http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/?story=4865&title=Only+Cosplayers+Left+Alive

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 05:56 on Dec 19, 2016

The Saddest Rhino
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will Cosmic Horror be the new Magic Realism?

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

:siren: WEEK 205 RESULTPOST :siren:


The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Tyrannosaurus posted:



I want good stories and I want them on my desk yesterday! You knuckledraggers have until Sunday night here in New York to give me 1500 words of something goddamn interesting or you’re all fired!

Assignments:
flerp- Do Socialites Really Need Plastic Forks? This Cuban Spork Fan is Undecided
starr- Teenage and Feminist: Hanoi's Fishmongers

in with I DOCUMENTED A MUSLIM HIPSTER AND DIDN'T STOP THEM FROM FELLATING POL POT

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Apr 29, 2009

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Just got an emergency meeting call. Will not make it but may submit later in the day. ok bye

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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My meeting just ended so I guess I'll post the disqualified story later for redemption. in the meantime please assign me a punk story to write thanks

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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The Saddest Rhino posted:

My meeting just ended so I guess I'll post the disqualified story later for redemption. in the meantime please assign me a punk story to write thanks

E:

http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/?story=5026&title=+I+Documented+a+Muslim+Hipster+and+Didn%92t+Stop+Them+from+Fellating+Pol+Pot

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 05:56 on Dec 19, 2016

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Apr 29, 2009

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Thranguy posted:

Magmapunk




???????????????????????????

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Thranguy posted:

Magmapunk
E: http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/?story=5043&title=The+Legend+of+Makoa+Kalawai%92a%2C+Daughter+of+the+Ocean%2C+She+of+Oahuh

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Dec 19, 2016

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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

I bet 99% of you won't even see this post, but to those who care, reply in the comments with "judge fast, fast judge" and you will be blessed with prosperity and many stories.

:yeah:

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Ok am in lull at a bad long meeting. Will write real prompt post later. Many thanks to judges of previous week for choosing my story, your crits, and everyone

E: REAL PROMPT POST WRITTEN UP

Okay thank

SkaAndScreenplays posted:

IN: with RUSTPUNK
AND: a :toxx: Because DNF is not an option...
AND a Flash Rule Because this poo poo is getting a soundtrack.

If Rust-punk is too close to salvage punk in the minds of our astute judges then by all means punish me

EDIT:
I was just informed via IRC that this was last weeks' prompt.
Fuckit, I'll go :anarchists: and submit anyways.

Also gonna try and get some crits in for the week I DNF'd so hard I joined after it was finished...

You can enter with your rust punk this week if u like with the [see prompt post below] caveats

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 09:15 on Sep 7, 2016

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:supaburn::rock:WEEK CCXIII: THUNDERDOME ALL-STAR TRIBUTE:rock::supaburn:

Do you remember a time when the Western pop world decided that, to help solve poverty forever in other non-Western countries, they were going to form charity supergroups and sing songs which are awkward, self-flagellating (or flaunting) and usually not great to listen to? And they didn't really help those countries ultimately, even though Bono and Bob Geldolf said so? And those music represented nothing about those countries/cultures whatsoever? I still have a copy of the 2001 What's Going On at my parents' place and I don't even recall who it was supposed to help or whether they got that help anyway (A: it was for AIDS programmes in "Africa and other impoverished regions")

ANYWAY this week, you don't get to form a Thunderdome Writer Supergroup, because it has already been done, but:


:rock:PROMPT

Do two (2) things when you sign up:

A. CHOOSE A GENERAL MUSIC GENRE

quote:

Alternative
Blues
Classical
Country
Dance
Easy Listening
Electronic
Folk
Hip Hop / Rap
Inspirational (incl. Gospel)
Jazz
New Age
Opera
Pop
R&B
Soul
Reggae
Rock

B. CHOOSE A CONTINENT YOU DO NOT CURRENTLY RESIDE IN

quote:

Asia
Africa
North America
South America
Antarctica - Note: Thranguy has already claimed the whole single land mass
Europe
Oceania

After that, I will assign a (hopefully obscure) MUSIC SUBGENRE and a COUNTRY/STATE/REGION to you and you may write as you see fit.


:rock:FAQ

Q: Dear Rhino, I know you are sad and smart and therefore, there must be a catch which disqualifies my story about a struggling (but very cool and absolutely not me) artist trying to succeed in a [SUBGENRE] full of [POPULAR GENRE OF REGION] sheeple. Am I correct?

A: Yes, I'm indeed very sad and smart. The music subgenre chosen for you must already have some form of prior establishment in the country/state/region chosen for you. Whether there's an underground scene, or super popular, or way past its due date is up to you. You may do anything you like, even when the story doesn't feature the musical genre or in that country or stay or region As Long As your story evokes the feelings or culture or what have you of the said genre or country etc, the catch is you should write a good story (this is sound advice btw) . If you write that sheeple story it better not be trite tho.

Q: Dear Rhino, the subgenre you have chosen for me is actually not obscure at all, very much unlike what sweet dreams are made of. May I choose my own stupidly ridiculous and obscure subgenre?

A: GO NUTS

Q: Dear Rhino, I am an Internet attorney at law and since you said "write as you see fit", I can just set a guy listening to [MUSIC SUBGENRE] in [COUNTRY/STATE/REGION] doing something completely unrelated. That is okay, right? Right?

A: Yes but the only person you'll be lying to is yourself. Also you may lose.

:rock:T&C

1984 words, the year Bob Geldof started Band Aid

Signups Close 11:59PM Friday Pacific Time

Entries Close 11:59PM Sunday Pacific Time


:rock:JUDGES

Rhino
The Cut of Your Jib
Ironic Twist


:rock:"I'm here only to make good music, not to be popular."

01. Mercedes: (Electronic / Africa) Vapourwave / Liberia
02. Thranguy: (Folk / Antarctica) New Weird Americana / South Pole
03. flerp: (Inspirational / South America)Throat Singing / Brazil
04. Sailor Viy: (Jazz / Asia) Dixieland / North Korea
05. Hostile V: (Easy Listening / Europe) Spa Sounds / Ukraine
06. QuoProQuid: (Country / Asia) Progressive Bluegrass / Sri Lanka
07. a friendly penguin: (Opera / Africa) Zarzuela / Morocco
08. Schneider Heim: (Soul / South America) Psychedelic Soul / The Andes
09. Fuschia tude: (Electronic / Europe) Nitzhonot / Camino de Santiago
10. Djeser: (Electronic / Oceania) Nintendocore / Papua New Guinea :toxx:
11. llamaguccii: (Electronic / Africa) Italo Disco / Great Escarpment
12. Jitzu_the_Monk: (Opera / Asia) Beijing Opera / Indo-Pakistani Border
13. CaligulaKangaroo: (Dance / Africa) Disneycore / Amirante Islands
14. Paladinus: (Rock / Oceania) Pornogrind / Pitcairn Islands :toxx:
15. Daeres: (Classical / Oceania) Ballet / Samoa
16. Tyrannosaurus: (Rap / Asia) Rap Opera / Myanmar
17. Entenzahn: (Classical / North America) Carnatic / Cuba

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Sep 10, 2016

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Hostile V posted:

Alright I'm in for Easy Listening and Europe. It's gonna be bad, by sheer virtue of involving easy listening, but gently caress it.

Spa Sounds / Ukraine

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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QuoProQuid posted:

I want some Country in Asia

Progressive Bluegrass / Sri Lanka

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a friendly penguin posted:

Opera in Africa to help the most underserved.

Zarzuela / Morocco

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Schneider Heim posted:

Soul, South America.

Psychedelic Soul / The Andes

Fuschia tude posted:

Electronic Europe

Oh you were hoping I would just give you euro vision weren't you. Nitzhonot / Camino de Santiago


Also after some thinking I'm amending the FAQ


Q: Dear Rhino, I know you are sad and smart and therefore, there must be a catch which disqualifies my story about a struggling (but very cool and absolutely not me) artist trying to succeed in a [SUBGENRE] full of [POPULAR GENRE OF REGION] sheeple. Am I correct?



A: Yes, I'm indeed very sad and smart. The music subgenre chosen for you must already have some form of prior establishment in the country/state/region chosen for you. Whether there's an underground scene, or super popular, or way past its due date is up to you. You may do anything you like, even when the story doesn't feature the musical genre or in that country or stay or region As Long As your story evokes the feelings or culture or what have you of the said genre or country etc, the catch is you should write a good story (this is sound advice btw) . If you write that sheeple story it better not be trite tho.

BTW still looking for volunteer judges

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Apr 29, 2009

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Djeser posted:

Electronic, Oceania. :toxx:

Nintendocore / Papua New Guinea

llamaguccii posted:

In with electronic Africa please

Italo Disco / Great Escarpment

Jitzu_the_Monk posted:

In with opera, Asia.

Beijing Opera / Indo-Pakistani Border

CaligulaKangaroo posted:

Dodged a loss last round! Now I'm back for more!

In.

Africa. Dance.

Disneycore / Amirante Islands

The Cut of Your Jib posted:

I will jam with you as a judge.


Ironic Twist posted:

if you don't have a third judge, I'd be down

Thank you, judges found. (Officially, I'm Christina Aguilera)

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Apr 29, 2009

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Daeres posted:

Absolutely not. I can't even express how opposite that is to my political and personal beliefs, and I'm a Brit anyway.

If there was any kind of 'lol stupid lefties' vibe then it was absolutely not an intentional one, I *am* a stupid leftie. But It's far from the only thing about the execution of the thing that I messed up very badly.

u may repent for your cardinal sin by entering this week

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Apr 29, 2009

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Paladinus posted:

In with a :toxx:, as promised.

Rock/Oceania.

Pornogrind / Pitcairn Islands

Daeres posted:

Alright then, in with Classical/Oceania.

Ballet / Samoa

The Saddest Rhino
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Rap Opera / Myanmar

Entenzahn posted:

Classical in North America

Carnatic / Cuba

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Gonna do something different. Instead of closing submission calls I will throw out some combinations anyone can claim until close of submissions in two days time

Drill / Tibet
Quiet Storm / Fargo
Gregorian Chants / South Africa
Retro wave / Bali
Celtic Harp / Mauritius
Chiptune / Argentina
Visual Kei / Mexico
White Noise / Greenland

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Also this was what inspired the intro of my submission call

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8moePxHpvok

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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Subs closed

The Saddest Rhino
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:supaburn::rock: ALL STAR RESULTS
:supaburn::rock:

Another week, another Thunderdome. This round, I would have put in effort to make this results post more interesting but I forgot to bring home my laptop and typing on an apple keyboard sucks (why isn't swift key working) so let's cut the fat and get to the meat.

Decisions this time was almost universal with hardly any disagreement, marking for an unexciting finale with zero suspense. How do you even make good television one of you judges was supposed to be falsely outraged. In any case. We felt the stories that worked the least for us were not terrible or atrocious, but suffered from being either boring or confusing from a character motivation or plot standpoint. With that, the DM are Intense Heat, Stretching Silver and Soul/Off respectively by Daeres, Fuschia tude and Schneider Heim. The loser, which reads less like a story and more like an overwritten vignette with some minor problematic (and hopefully accidental) characterisation and nebulous feature of the music genre, is Llamaguccii with God's Window. Please do not jump off the cliff of that mountain though

For the best of show, we were happy with two of the HM, both of which featured a series of fun action sequences and presented a sense of urgency lacking in some of the mid tiers. These are “Liberian Police Used Deadly Force on Peaceful Protest, Acquitted” and Jean & Milan respectively by Mercedes and Caligula Kangaroo (who I note jumped from DM to HM this week).

For the winner we were torn between two stories, both we consider publish-worthy quality. Both incorporated one of the two conditions masterfully, but falters on the other (perhaps too subtle, or too much in the forgotten background). Ultimately, we were unanimous that one story triumphed than the other in the usage of the two conditions, but both are great works. Thus, the first runner up HM goes to Tyrannosaus with Wolf Honeymoon. And the winner is Pale Spectres for the story Out of Memory .

[credits sequence as confetti falls and everyone hugs the winner, host pops up to say "see you next week!"]

The Saddest Rhino
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llamaguccii posted:

*** Submission for LOSERBRAWL ***

Take What I Have, You Gluttons

Word Count: 450

There isn’t a single thing he hasn’t already written worth submitting. He stretches. His fingers pull one another taut as he extends his wrists up over his head. He knows it’s bullshit, but it’s a consistent lie. It’s a lie that he can swallow down with the whiskey. Jameson. He mulls over if the name would work for the rugged character he’s been contemplating. He decides it can’t. Or more, it could, but he simply can’t write the character. And he can’t give a bullshit character a bullshit name any more than he can write a drat story. He used to be able to write a story, but that was when he had something to say that mattered. Or at least was interesting. Or revolting. Hell, anything that deserved more than a quick skim.

He’d never had the capacity to write anything worth remembering, but people had read him at the airport, maybe, on a long flight when they’d ran out of peanuts. Or in the shitter, at least, while they waited for a sympathetic roommate to replenish the toilet paper from the hall supply closet.

He writes the date on the top of the page like this is a loving journal entry, and he’s a fourteen-year-old girl, and somehow spilling out his emotions on the page is going to amount to something.

October 3rd

Today is a lovely day. I hate life.


He laughs, takes another drink. He doesn’t hate life. But he hates the day he optimistically joined their ranks of writers. The day he decided to give more of a poo poo about the words than the people that read them. The day he split his soul between the devil of diction and the god of syntax, and only got a handful of lukewarm critiques in return. It wasn’t a lovely life. It was a lovely occupation.

He changes his entry.

Every day is lovely because I hate writing.

He lights a joint. It was more accurate, but still not completely true. He didn’t depend on writing for his livelihood, yet he couldn’t seem to survive without it. He was an addict, lusting for a fix even when he knew what the brutal end result would be. Writing was his dirty little call girl. His subconscious routinely slipped her a key when all his mind really wanted was some loving peace and quiet.

He inhales, erases the entry. The blank page and the viewers beyond mock him. A crossfaded passion of contempt and unrequited respect creeps into his fingers as he strikes the keys, annihilating the page.

gently caress the readers, and gently caress you, too.

He hits submit and doesn’t feel the need to gratify them again until Sunday.

holy poo poo i'm crying

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

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k in i gues

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ok give me a customer, my week is packed af but i'll try

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E: http://writocracy.com/thunderdome/?story=5187&title=Ascent

The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 05:53 on Dec 19, 2016

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The Saddest Rhino
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llamaguccii posted:

In the spirit of fresh eyes, here’s a critique for Ascent by The Saddest Rhino.

Thanks dude!

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