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sebmojo posted:haha, yeah sure i'll squish you if you want. 500 words, who'll judge. I will. Deadline Midnight PST 14/5 Prompt: Politics. Nothing to do with Trump.
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May 10, 2016 00:12
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flerp posted:
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May 10, 2016 22:35
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That's a lot of words. Can I not read all that and still be IN?
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May 11, 2016 01:03
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Djeser posted:Week 196 crits: EAT CRIT AND DIE Thanks for the crits, Djeser. On point as always. Especially the crit of Toxxupation's story. Valuable feedback for him, no doubt!
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May 11, 2016 01:05
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Toxxupation posted:Sorry, gonna have to drop this one. I've been sick all week and been hoping to get better but I'm just starting to kick this cold. I'll make it up in the future. Apologies, again. no one cares shut up
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May 15, 2016 01:42
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CarlMillerKiller vs Sebmojo politics brawl judgement Sebmojo As soon as I saw this was an "x is actually the devil" type story I knew it would have to pull of some kind of interesting twist to impress me. The cartoonish southern voice could also have been forgiven if there was some kind of awesome payoff. The way the devil didn't care that he was fired was actually somewhat interesting, but didn't push things far enough to excuse the by-the-numbers premise. CarlMillerKiller Wow wtf is this? I think that the candidate was reincarnated as a voting station in a school? It was really hard to tell what was going on at all, mostly because your prose was terrible. It's bad to overwrite things, but it's especially bad to overwrite things when you don't have the vocab to actually understand the words you're trying to use. A good rule of thumb for weird stories - the stranger something is, the clearer it needs to be written. The winner is Sebmojo, sleepwalking to a landslide victory against an opponent more gaffe-prone than Howard Dean on a roller-coaster.
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May 15, 2016 08:48
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Um, guys, do you think it would be okay if I.... I mean, would you mind if... I know it's a bit of an imposition and everything.... but would it be horrible if I... did.. a thing?
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May 24, 2016 08:52
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I'll do this brawl thing if we can get someone who isn't a lefty communist pinko to run it. Muffin will just give it to whoever is the most homeless, like he would with our taxpayer dollars.
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May 25, 2016 09:33
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a friendly penguin posted:Here, here! prime example of td writing quality right hear newtestleper fucked around with this message at 02:26 on May 26, 2016 |
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May 25, 2016 21:38
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gently caress it in
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May 28, 2016 05:09
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IN
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May 31, 2016 01:35
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don't preface your post, noob
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Jun 2, 2016 04:03
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Arivia posted:Hello. I was the loser of the very first Thunderdome. Someone sent me a message saying I was invited to come back for the 200th anniversary. Let's see if the judging has improved from the idiot TVTropes rejects it was at the beginning. I'm in. This is the actual best
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Jun 3, 2016 02:49
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 because I will hate myself forever if I fail.Edit: Word pain inflicted on myself. Word again chosen at random by SH newtestleper fucked around with this message at 04:42 on Jun 3, 2016 |
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Jun 3, 2016 04:37
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Mr Gentleman posted:Yo gimme a rule any rule, I have the wednesday brawl senses rule (against ???????) already but I'm feeling restless Your story must feature a real-life, contemporary celebrity as a main character. This flash rule was approved by Sittinghere, blood queen of the thunderdome
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Jun 3, 2016 05:28
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edited out.
newtestleper fucked around with this message at 11:37 on Jan 7, 2017 |
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Jun 10, 2016 14:11
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Sitting Here posted:
Congratulations! You managed to break two of the most basic thunderdome rules in one go. That's quite an achievement.
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Jun 12, 2016 22:56
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sebmojo posted:I'll judge this. 666 words, due 24 June 2359 PST, prompt: kids these days got no fuckin idea (no character over forty) Holy poo poo I have ZERO time for this. I just can't do it. I'm sorry. (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 13, 2016 00:19
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Ironic Twist posted:
Is there a kindle edition somewhere? Christchurch library only stock Amelia Grey https://christchurch.bibliocommons.com/search?&t=smart&search_category=keyword&q=amelia%20gray
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Jun 16, 2016 01:24
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Benny Profane posted:The cereal box is now empty. Was there a decoder ring in the box, or did someone choke on it?
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Jun 20, 2016 07:35
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Oh god I got confused about my various deadlines. I can't do this until tomorrow, I'm sorry.
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Jun 25, 2016 08:07
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Black Griffon posted:
I enjoyed this a lot. I am sorry I could not present it with fitting competition. You have surfed back into the dome, using my corpse as a board.
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Jun 27, 2016 10:37
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In with the first part of week 192 crits (REM week). With these I have posted my judging notes, then the approximate placement I had for them, and then some more notes upon a re-read (more like a re-skim). I will have the rest done by the time I enter my story for the week. Extra Noise If that’s what it takes I took your name I don’t like this. It was pretty obvious he was dead from the start, and I didn’t buy her motivation for killing him at all. Also this was a story about writers in an annoying way. MID-low Going back to this now there’s a paragraph in the middle that sums up what I don’t like about the story, where he talks about them meeting in a creative writing class. It’s too cute, but also lacks interesting detail to make it feel real. DurianGray Pre-dawn Disturbance at the heron house NOTHING HAPPENS AT THE START So much boring mundane poo poo, then a riot. The end. SALT MINES THEN NO MINES. Mid-low Now I look at this it really seems like a chapter somewhere in the middle of a longer piece. There’s not enough interesting detail for the world-building to shine, and the action is just completely avoided - we miss the military police entirely. Maugrim Foreign Flower "The Flowers of Guatemala" There’s some pretty tortured language in this. Eg “gyred” and “gallant”. tone it down. Simpler language will be clearer. Clarity was an issue. I didn’t get that the people in the circle were deaf until we revisited them. Interesting idea, but it was kind of all over the place. There was good characterization of the protag. MID This story still seems confusing, going back to it. Anime was Right Ain't No Girl Like Me The Wrong Child I did feel a little something for the protag, but apart from that this was fairly average. Kinda felt like a nerd fantasy or something, but even the nerd can’t bring himself to win the nerd. Not in a good way. MID I like this a little more now I look at it, but it’s still very middling. It needs something surprising to zazz it up a bit. flerp The Beat That's In Every Blast World Leader Pretend Didn’t feel the song in this one at all. The others at least tipped their hat to it. The story was kind of bleh as well. MID I actually like the dialogue between the two in this - the way they sort of talk past each other is quite an effective technique to avoid bullshit. I think my main problem with this story is that I really don’t connect with the protag at all. He seems quite disconnected and passive and then he just isn’t any more - there doesn’t seem to be any reasoning behind his character arc. Carl Killer Miller Ash Knowledge "King of Birds" I liked the start of the bird story. Was disappointed it just stopped. I like this a lot, except the central point of the bomber not realising what was happening didn’t ring true for me. Bombing in WW2 was not some kind of precise instrument where you actually expect to hit what you were aiming at. I think the last section and the early degue about ‘allegory’ hurt this quite a bit. The idea is good, but it needs to be less obvious. GREAT TITLE. HIGH-MID. I remember I liked this story more than the other judges at first, but not enough to defend it from their unanimous DM decision. Looking back it at now I see their perspective a bit more. The analogy between the two stories isn’t close or meaningful enough, with combines with the hamfisted WAR IS BAD moral to make the story clumsy over all. Docbeard Men Over Mission "E-Bow The Letter" This is a good little scene! Quite exciting, decent characterization. I liked it quite a bit. It is only a scene, but it’s a good one with a good bit of an arc to it. This was solid. High-mid. I liked this a lot at the time, but now that I go back to it there’s too much useless dialogue in it. Cut the chatty crap and give us the highlights. R.E.M. song: "New Test Leper" Miracle Obviously I know this song particularly well. I guess I can see the links to the prompt. This broke down at the end - I had a lot of trouble understanding what was happening - Nehemiah just stood there and let Ezra kill his buddies? Very strange. There were a few errors but some of the prose was nice. MID
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Aug 10, 2016 11:19
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In with South Island Gothic
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Oct 12, 2016 21:20
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In and Customer and
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Oct 17, 2016 22:10
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Fellow void-martians should pop in to #thunderdome on synirc and mention loudly that you're in this week.
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Oct 18, 2016 02:09
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Hey everyone, I recommend coming to our irc channel, #thunderdome on Synirc, and talking loudly about voidmart. No one will secretly message you... Or will they? yes they will
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Oct 18, 2016 04:26
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edited out. newtestleper fucked around with this message at 11:38 on Jan 7, 2017 |
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Oct 24, 2016 08:21
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Crit of The Doppol by Jay W. Fricks I did a linecrit in a google doc. It has examples of everything I mention in the summary below. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dBGdIdmIz0NLhghojKw0oRK5PCoumXwyUoct2PLb9R0/edit The number one thing causing you problems here is your prose. The actual words are clunky, and you have paid no attention to grammar or punctuation or any of those guidelines we use to make stories nice and easy to read. There are other problems too - the structure doesn’t really work and the twist ending is very bad, but I think that you should TD again this week and just concentrate on your sentences - reading them back, breaking up the parts and putting them together in different orders, using stronger verbs - just to make the story less painful to read. There’s actually some things here that are really good to see - in particular your protagonist is a somewhat interesting and likeable character, who has a strong motivation - but all this is ruined by the poor prose. Welcome to the dome, and thanks for sharing your story - We all know how tough it is. One other thing to you and all the newbies - please don't be afraid to wade in and critique someone elses story, even if it's just a few sentences on what you didn't like. You being new to the dome is actually an advantage - your bringing new ideas about what you like and don't like and we want to take advantage of them!
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Oct 25, 2016 00:27
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Crit of Tracey and the Vintage Vegetable by vintagepurple Again I have a linecrit of sorts for you, which gives examples of what I mean below. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ECpNKKmpK-Yipy4ctaIxnInfqveh1Q-Pgo4tYO2BxIs/edit My problem with this is that there’s no story here. It keeps feeling like there’s a story on the verge of breaking out, but then it just kind of plods along into another slightly odd, completely unrelated situation. I think that it suffers from an opening section that serves no purpose. I think a great idea here would be to scrap everything outside of Voidmart, and replace it with one line that establishes Tracey’s motivation. Then work the golden bean stuff into the rest of the story cos I liked that. A story isn’t just a series of events - they need to mean something in relation to each other. This greater meaning is totally absent. The prose, apart from in the clunky first paragraph, is quite good. It was easy to read and flowed just fine. Not much of it wowed me, but it didn;t get in the way - and that is not a bad place to be. For your next Voidmart story I’d recommend looking up some of those madlib style story plot generators, and use one of them to make a really simple story arc, then write to that.
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Oct 25, 2016 03:23
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contagonist posted:*patiently waiting for crit* Nice writers never get the crits. They always go to the jock writers with rippling finger muscles who treat crits like poo poo. I don't want you anyway, I can tell you'd be the kind of crit that would open its advice for any jerk. I bid you good day, m'crit
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Oct 25, 2016 22:47
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Hugoon Chavez posted:I regret not entering this week, because the prompt is amazing! I actually have a similar setting for which I've wrote a few short stories and I love reading what people do with something similar. DM - repeated the word similar.
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Oct 26, 2016 09:20
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Thunderdome CCXXI: The Escape of the Bad Words. Flash Frontier is a little online journal, based partially in New Zealand and partially on a yacht off the east coast of Africa. It publishes bi-monthly issues consisting of 250 word stories written to a one word prompt. It has published stories by four thunderdome writers, and was the first place to publish at least two, including yours truly... And we are going to drown them in the bad words. This prompt is a Submission Rush. All stories will be posted in thread AND ALSO emailed to the editors at Flash Frontier for potential inclusion in their November issue. Here is a link to the submission guidelines. Basically you will be able to cut and paste your entry and email it to them, as they basically follow the same formatting rules as we do. I would love to see a healthy chunk of the next issue consist of 'domers, and I know that there's the talent here to do it. If we do twenty entries I would estimate that a minimum of five will get in. LET'S DO IT! Here's the skinny. Word limit: 250 Theme: BIRDS Deadline: 11:59PM PST Sunday 30 October A few notes. DIsclaimer: Yes, I am on the staff of Flash Frontier. I do their website. I will not have anything to do with determining which stories are chosen for publication. TD judging will be entirely separate from the Flash Frontier editorial process. Yes, the word count is very short. It is also a 100% hard limit. I will do a post about really really short stories tomorrow. I realise that it can be daunting to submit work for publication, but it shouldn't be. Especially to this one. Let's face it, it has a loving goon on staff - it's hardly Tin House. I also genuinely believe that a TD perspective is something that would be very good for the journal. I will post a bit more about submitting your work, too. Flash Frontier treats its prompts in much the way that the Thunderdome normally does. The prompt must be detectable, but it doesn't have to dominate the piece. If you think that it sort of mostly kinda maybe hits the prompt - it's probably fine. Oblique treatments are good. I will also post a bit about Flash Frontier with some links to some of the stories in there that I like the best. This might give you an idea of the things they might publish. Finally, this week I would like to see people cooperating. Any kind of down-nose-looking at pre-crits is hereby lifted for the week. Please come by IRC and hang out and share your story with other non-judge goons who might like to give you some constructive feedback.It is fun and helpful to work together! Here is a picture to inspire you to write lovely flowing prose about beautiful soaring graceful birds.  Good luck! Ducks: Entenzahn SkaAndScreenplays (one word penalty for lovely posting)The Cut of Your Jib flerp ZeBourgeoisie sebmojo Moxie Fleta Mcgurn Hammer Bro. my cat is norris Fuubi steeltoedsneakers Sitting Here Thranguy widespread Dr. Kloctopussy dmboogie Crab Destroyer anime was right SurreptitiousMuffin BeefSupreme Jay W. Friks Fleta Mcgurn Jitzu_the_Monk J.A.B.C. a friendly penguin Tyrannosaurus Some Strange Flea Sarkimedes ThirdEmperor Mercedes The Saddest Rhino Hawklad a new study bible! Beige Chairchucker kurona_bright QuoProQuid Chili Ironic Twist Hunters: newtestleper Grizzled Patriarch sparksbloom newtestleper fucked around with this message at 09:58 on Oct 29, 2016 |
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Oct 26, 2016 10:35
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No flash rules this week. The word count is hard enough. If you're really struggling for inspiration a random TD story, choose your favourite word from it, and use that as a jumping off point.
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Oct 26, 2016 10:59
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Also don't quote the whole loving prompt post you goober. -1 to your wordcount.
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Oct 26, 2016 11:01
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Looking for some fellow judges, too. Might be a good week to blood someone new...
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Oct 26, 2016 11:14
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No problemo
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Oct 26, 2016 12:12
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Clarification: Deadline is 11:59PM Sunday 30 October.
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Oct 26, 2016 18:58
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Tyrannosaurus posted:I am IN for this spooky Halloween prompt! hahaha poo poo.
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Oct 27, 2016 20:28
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Still looking for one more judge!
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Oct 28, 2016 01:07
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