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Ah poo poo. Of course I'm finally ready to give this a shot and this week it's a retrospective. Oh well, guess I'll jump in on the next one.
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Apr 28, 2016 14:15
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Quidnose posted:Do it, Chili! Write with us I did in fact miss that I could get someone else's thing, but this prospect is already intimidating. I'll jump in on the next one.
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Apr 29, 2016 12:54
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I am IN for the prompt. Ready to write, weehoo!
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May 27, 2016 15:05
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Can I get clarification on what no "google docs" means? Are we not supposed to use that word processor for some reason?
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May 27, 2016 15:24
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dmboogie posted:All it means is that when you're not allowed to submit your story by posting a link to a google doc instead of copying the text to the thread. Ah, gotcha. Easy enough.
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May 27, 2016 15:30
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Someday, this poo poo may be included in a volume of bad stories.
Chili fucked around with this message at 07:13 on Jan 1, 2017 |
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May 28, 2016 21:05
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Need to redeem myself. My most recent submission was pretty loving bad. In.
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May 31, 2016 01:01
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Someday, this poo poo may be included in a volume of bad stories.
Chili fucked around with this message at 07:13 on Jan 1, 2017 |
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Jun 4, 2016 18:43
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Me please! Oh, nevermind missed it :/
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Jun 6, 2016 15:08
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Carl Killer Miller posted:Naw, you're good. You acted now so you got four for the price of three. This is sincerely appreciated, I need all the help I can get.
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Jun 6, 2016 16:20
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I would crit.... but I'd like to get at least one not bottom of the barrel story under my belt, critting now feels somewhat presumptuous.
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Jun 6, 2016 16:49
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flerp posted:no you crit somebody. you crit somebody right now. i have literally no power but i will look at my monitor very sternly if you do not crit someone. I actually decided after I made that post that critting itself is a skill and I'd like to get better at it. So I did! Guiness13: Hope Takes Root I read a couple of stories as they were being submitted. Yours stuck with me the most. As far as capturing the feel of scent, you nailed it. Your careful use of colors and the temperature helped the most here. What gave me a hard time, though, was how quickly the story got gross. I suppose you want it to be jarring but describing a dude’s intestines hanging out, and a bulging face that quickly… it’s somewhat overwhelming. I was worried that the story was going to stay all nasty and I was pleasantly surprised when it shifted. Your character also seemed very blasé about the whole event, which may have helped tone down the impact. The other issue I had was at the end, when he goes for the potatoes. You weren’t exactly discrete with your descriptions before this and you built up how going for the potatoes was going to really hurt and be a big deal. Then, it just kinda happens and nothing is said about it. It felt like you knew you were coming up on the end of your story and were rushing up. Nice job though.
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Jun 6, 2016 17:04
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I'm in. And thanks for the crit, Hammer Bro!
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Jun 7, 2016 10:52
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I feel like kind of a wuss for not picking up any flashrules for the 200th. Can I request that I get assigned a picture?
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Jun 7, 2016 12:15
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Thank you sir.
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Jun 7, 2016 12:25
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These pictures are making me sad you guys.
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Jun 7, 2016 15:03
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Thanks for the crit thranguy!
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Jun 8, 2016 00:44
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Climbing the ladder, bottom of the barrel to DM aw yiss.
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Jun 9, 2016 04:04
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Carl Killer Miller posted:Mang, you got rid of that loser avatar fast. Yeah... I didn't know if there was any kind of etiquette around that, but the drat thing is such an eyesore.
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Jun 9, 2016 18:46
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skwidmonster posted:Man, I'm wearing this thing like a badge of honor til I earn a new one with a win. Gotta pay the blood price, kid Yeah... I ain't gonna be earning a new one that way anytime soon. Much more likely I feel the burn of another loss and have to shell out more money.
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Jun 9, 2016 20:10
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sparksbloom posted:ugh there's a disgusting amount of pleasant chitchat in this thread, if y'all keep making such banal posts i'm going to hit you with a nasty flash rule If I had any clout whatsoever I'd call someone something and challenge them to do a thing against my thing.
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Jun 9, 2016 21:15
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ZeBourgeoisie posted:You sound like a real rear end in a top hat. "If I had any clout." Bring it on and stuff.
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Jun 10, 2016 00:36
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Sweet. This place is magical.
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Jun 10, 2016 11:02
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Oh and thanks for the crit, Titus! This has all been super helpful.
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Jun 10, 2016 11:06
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Had a foster kitten emergency, was going to finish my story now, but I'm at the emergency vet. Hopefully I'll be back in time to wrap up, but I may not make it in time.
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Jun 11, 2016 18:48
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Oh poo poo, the deadline is tomorrow! I thought it was tonight. I need to learn to read. The kitten ended up being fine, he turned out to just have gas, he's the one on my foot. 
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Jun 12, 2016 05:02
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crabrock posted:thanks for the fartcat update My pleasure 
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Jun 12, 2016 05:06
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Man, I am just a thread making GBS threads catalyst. I'm gonna keep getting into brawls and I'm not very good at this yet.
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Jun 12, 2016 05:09
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Someday, this poo poo may be included in a volume of bad stories.
Chili fucked around with this message at 07:14 on Jan 1, 2017 |
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Jun 12, 2016 17:01
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Carl Killer Miller posted:
Oy, I'm already in a brawl for being terrible.
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Jun 13, 2016 00:09
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In. I want to use Farina, but I can't find a consistent measure of calories. I'm seeing things like 649, 130, 230, 110, 40.... Help. Or I can just use Raisin Bran (160 calories). Benny, can you decide which one? If you choose Farina, any of those calorie counts are fine. God help us all if you go with 649 though.
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Jun 14, 2016 03:57
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Boaz-Jachim posted:Hi, I'm your judge for this brawl. I was anxious to get started so I went to IRC and asked for someone to pick... and Ironic Twist went with Count Chocula. That acceptable Boaz? If not, Kaishai picked a good one right after (Bunyip) Chili fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Jun 14, 2016 |
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Jun 14, 2016 04:06
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Benny Profane posted:Brevity is the soul of farina. 110 calories is your hard limit, but if you can find sustenance in 40 or fewer you will receive a detailed line by line as a reward. I was hoping you'd just straight up pick 40. I'm going for it.
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Jun 14, 2016 04:25
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Sitting Here posted:Someone give me a cereal Product 19. I've never tasted it but I always marvel at it as I walk through the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Sounds like a cereal straight out of a dystopian future novel. Even the box is creepy: 
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Jun 14, 2016 06:59
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Someday, this poo poo may be included in a volume of bad stories.
Chili fucked around with this message at 07:15 on Jan 1, 2017 |
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Jun 17, 2016 04:26
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Thanks for the crits Boaz.
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Jun 19, 2016 05:58
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Week 202 Cereal Prompt Chosen Cereal: Farina, 40 calories per serving. Good Kid 386 Words My grandpa wanted a real meal; it wasn't an unreasonable request. "Please," he asked, "go to the cafeteria and get me a burger." "You know I can't do that, Grandpa," I replied, "the doctor said solid food could hurt you." "I'll tell you what's hurting me," he said, "this loving Farina. You're a good boy, right? Don't they teach you to respect your elders in college?" I laughed; Grandpa still had his fire. I admired him for a moment, but my stomach sunk as it occurred to me that this was the first time Grandpa had ever asked anything of me. "Look kiddo," he said, "I think we both know that I don't have many sunrises left. A week, a day, what's the difference?" I looked at the bowl of colorless gloop sitting on his lap, and then at my grandpa's pleading expression. The face that marveled over the weekly family dinners was gone. He couldn't chop onions anymore; he couldn't lift a pot of pasta, he couldn't fill a home with a warm aroma that told his family that they were loved. Grandpa needed me. I rose to my feet and said, "You better leave me something good in your will." "There we go kiddo!" Grandpa's face twisted into a smile. He laughed, picked up the Farina, and with a grunt, lobbed it across the room. The plastic bowl fell to the floor, but its contents adhered to the wall. The loose porridge gradually oozed downward and left a trail of slime along the eggshell paint. A speck had landed on my cheek; I laughed as I wiped it away. "One plain burger from the cafeteria, and you'll eat it slowly. OK?" "No," he responded, "two plain burgers, and we'll eat them slowly." I nodded and turned towards the door. After a step, Grandpa yelled out, "Hey! What are you, crazy!?" Oh, great, it was all a bluff. He had gotten my heart racing for nothing. I turned to take my seat; Grandpa was reaching for his wallet. "You don't pay for our food, kiddo," he said, as he handed me a ten dollar bill. "And kiddo," he continued, "in every sense of the phrase, this is on me."
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Jun 19, 2016 20:18
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Thanks for the crit! I'll look into some semicolon stuff.
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Jun 21, 2016 07:51
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Since I'm not participating in this week as an entrant, I'm happy to crit anyone who does submit. Lemme know if you want to hear what I have to say for some reason.
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Jun 25, 2016 02:26
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Wow Benny, thank you so much!
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Jun 26, 2016 21:32
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