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YFDHippo
May 2, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER

In

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YFDHippo
May 2, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER

The Devil’s Grin

Word Count: 1230

The sun beat down on everything in the land. Everything had turned white and life clung to what little there was. A solitary figure walked the the broken land. Not aimlessly but with purpose. His purpose, the destination that stood before him. A small building built haphazardly out of different parts but sturdy nonetheless, and at the top, in a patchwork of letters it read.

JENARAL STRE

The shopkeep was sweeping his floor when the man came in. The sudden exposure of light blinded him from his visitor, but he knew from the brown poncho and long brimmed hat who this man was.


He stuttered out a greeting. “Ha.. ha... Hello! What a surprise! My favorite customer.” He put down the broom and scurried to the back of the counter. “What can I do for you?”

The man walked up to him and leaned in. “You know why I’m here. I've come for my shipment.”

The shopkeeper smiled with a mouth full of rotten holes and metal teeth. “Well say… Could I interest you in some some 150 year old Whiskey? Or how about..”

The man leaned in closer. His long brimmed hat now cast a complete shadow over the shopkeep.

“My shipment.”

“Ohh lord!” The shopkeep shrank down. If he had been a turtle it, his head would of sank all the way into his body. “I’m sorry but the shipment isn’t here!” The shopkeep began to beg. “Please… I’m sorry… Just…”

The man leaned in even further and the shopkeep felt his neck about to snap under the pressure of his head trying to escape the predicament it was in. With no place left to go, the man and the shopkeep were now nose to nose. “Sorry ain’t gonna cut it” The man reached into his poncho.

Little feet ran across the floor and a little girl began pummeling at the man’s thigh. “Leave ma papa alone! He ain’t done nothin wrong!”

“Roxanna for god sakes!” The shopkeep screamed.

The man looked down at the little girl.

“Stop.” He said and the little girl obeyed. The man bent down and met her at her gaze.

“Now listen, In this world. Where not much is left. A man’s principles. A man’s word is sometimes all we have to go by, and if a man can’t keep his word. He doesn’t have much to live by. Now, I am going to make an exception this time. In a town that would of gone dead if it wasn’t for your pappy’s story. He has kept his prices fair, in a time where fairness can be a death sentence.”

The man reached into his coat and the shop keep feared the worst. He pulled out a large self luminescent letter G.

"My payment for this week." The man turned around and walked out.

---

“I herd he got his skillz from killing a devil and takin his death guns.” The kid leaned heavily on his shovel.

“Nah!” another kid waved him off. “Dats not how it went.” He wuz was da best gun fighta already. He just wanted to test himself. So when he beat da devil. He took da devil’s smile as his prize.

“what you! A idijut?! why wood he take his smile? That don’t make you good at guns! He took!” He shoved the other kid ”Da death guns!”

“He toook da smile!” The kid shoved him back.

A large woman poked her head out of her window.

“HEYOUKIDSBETTAGETBACKTOWERKUNLESYOWANTMETAWHOOPYOASSESALLOVADISYARD!”

“Yes momma!” They started to shovel at an alarming rate.

“Well, one things for sho. They say that when the Devil’s Grin is on ya. Ya soul is his.”

---------------------

It had become night and the man walked up to a very well maintained almost lavish looking manor. Two rat men stood at the gate.


“Halt who goes there!”

“It’s me” The man said.


The two rat men looked at one another and motioned to enter. Inside the main hall, the room was lit with a soft yellow glow. Velvet drapes hung from the ceiling along with an assortment of marble statues.
At the center, Reclined a very corpulent man on a very large red leather chair. His head laid on one pillow, while women of every color fanned him. One of the women grabbed charred flesh and began to chew it in her mouth. When it had become paste she leaned over and dropped it into the fat man’s mouth. Half kiss, half feeding. The fat man rubbed her breast at the same time. His other hand was deep inside her. When she was done. He took his fat hands, each like a oily sausage and licked them clean.

“Delicious” he exclaimed. He finally took notice of the man that had walked in. “Why if it isn’t my favorite bounty hunter!”

He motioned for a seat and two women brought out a chair for the man.

“No thanks Don.”

“That's Lord Baron Don Duke The 1st to you and everyone else in my realm.”

The man put up his hand to his face and rubbed his forehead “Look.. I’ve come for my shipment.”

“I don’t have it”

The man became extremely agitated, and Don took notice.

“Think about Bounty Hunter. Would I have any use for your shipment?” He took a long breath and rubbed the underside of his breast. “Now you seem pretty upset by this and you could probably kill me and every one of my guards here, but... Who would take care of trade? I'm sure in time, someone will step up but not before this whole region died a slow painful death. The truth is the driver was ambushed 50 miles out of town, by what looks to be a gang of lizard men. So, here's the deal bounty man. Take care of the lizard men and you can have your shipment, two free shipments for next time and whatever else you can carry.

The man took a hard look at the fat man in the chair. Spat on the floor and walked out.
------------------

When all the lizards were asleep
The Devil's Grin came to creep

Caught surprise cause no one would dare
Attack 50 Lizardman right in the lair

BLAM BLAM BLAM went his guns
Drop Drop Drop bodies by the tons

Drugged and slowed by the night's freezing air
Lizardman blood ran cold, and they became quite scared

Off into the night, they decided to run
None would live, to see the morning sun

------------------

Bodies lay at every level in every way imaginable. There the man stood looking through the stolen shipments. His eye caught sight of what he was looking for. He picked up a small box and opened it. He pulled out a tube and on it read:

EXTRA Brightening Toothpaste
Fights Plaque and Keeps Teeth Clean!

And with that the man pulled out his toothbrush and began brushing his teeth.

------------------------

“But mommy I don’t want wanna!”


“Darold Ginny the Second. You do as your mother tells you. That is no way for a proper young man to behave. no stand up straight, and brush your teeth. Small circular circles in a back and forth motion”

“yes mommy.”


“That’s great son. Brushing your teeth and keeping in the habit builds character, and when you smile people will go: Look at that young handsome man. That smile must of been bestowed by god himself.”

YFDHippo
May 2, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER

THANK YOU JUDGE CRABROCK! I appreciate and welcome all criticism.

YFDHippo
May 2, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER

In for 84) The Fisherman and His Wife

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