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Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Bleusman posted:

Gosh guys, you gotta get more mature, because the school has a major problem with dick graffiti

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Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Broenheim posted:

mr. rex, you shouldnt be vandalizing the school but it was p. lol so youre cool by me, just tell ms. here that i gave you detention or something but you dont have to go

ah, thank you, sir! you're a legend, sir!

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

“so it’s gonna be forever or it’s gonna go down in flames”
1280 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:03

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

curlingiron posted:

In to make crabrock sad.



me 2 m8

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

This is a Story About an Animatronic Theodore Roosevelt Who-- Through Strange Scientific Machinations-- Became Sentient Some Time Before the Opening Sentence and Who in the Last Few Moments-- Through Violent Actions Good and Just Against Evil Men-- Made Friends With the One Person Who was Not an Complete rear end in a top hat Out in the Post-Apocalyptic Hellhole That was Once Unironically Called the Great State of Texas
1260 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:04

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

i'm using ten words from winning week 100, btw

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

crabrock posted:

good crits

Thranguy posted:

good prompts

In.

28) Fabulist Wuxia or Multicultural Spy-Fi

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Thranguy posted:

104) Yearning for the Yellow Cities

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

prompt: fable + wuxia

The Man Who Made Noodles
1300 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:04

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

We're still supposed to write horror, yeah?

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

99 problems

I Have to Take Care of Everything
1400 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:05

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

What Knights Do
969 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:05

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Good crits

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In with won.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Prompt: "Won" -- The reluctance on a person’s part to let go of an illusion


Wild Bears Do Not Smoke
1200 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:05

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

I wasn't a judge so these aren't full crits they're just

When I Got Bored
*Rathlord: Third sentence. Overly, unnecessarily descriptive all the way through. This is more of a set up to a bad punchline (she’s a hooker how scandalous how amazing he didn’t realize before) than a real story.
*sparksbloom: First sentence, honestly. Then I push past that and I have too many names and nothing to care about. I stopped reading entirely at “You went to that bookstore again” because I don’t care about anything so why should I keep going
*flerp: Man, lot of ghost stories lately. I got bored at “I hit the table hard.” Up to that point, nothing new has been brought to the table. “dad ur a ghost” “so?? lol.” Okey dokey. I skimmed over something about sticking a finger into water but I didn’t really read past where I got bored.
*Killer-of-Lawyers: Woo buddy that opening paragraph is a doozy to figure out. Is Brigid also a sorcerer or is that a different character? Is Devin the sorcerer? Who is the queen? I dunno. I’m not reading anymore.
*Guiness13: “So, that’s it, is it? You want him to die so you can live?” She rose to her knees and leaned over Death. “That is not going to happen!” I don’t know why this girl is important enough for capital D Death to talk to her nor do I know why Death is such a… what’s the word? “Little bitch?” Maybe. You opened strong.
*Ironic Twist: Read the whole thing.
*newtestleper: “He’d told me before that glacial runoff sinks.” I have no idea what the gently caress I’m supposed to be reading here.
*hotsoupdinner: “I stare at it for twelve minutes before one time I blink and then it’s gone” is a weird sentence and feels like a tense shift in your story (even though it’s technically not). “The me that lived here rises and takes control of my body” is where you lost me. I read your whole story though. I liked the idea. Disliked implementation.
*Grizzled Patriarch: Read the whole thing.
*crabrock: Read the whole thing.
*Bird Tyrant: “I am alone, harsh wind blowing away my cries for help, so that no noise comes out at all.” I’m getting sleepy.
*Carl Killer Miller: “In spring, they'd had (fraternal) twin assemblies. The boys watched their gym coach yell about just how much their things had changed and would change…” Easy enough to read but nothing is happening. Describe less scenery. Include more doing.
*ghost crow: I read the whole thing. But I like futuristic sci fi stuff so don’t sprain your wrist patting yourself on the back. Did you try and throw in as many asiany metaphors as possible? Also, major Ghost in the Shell vibes at the end. Not in a good way. Is this secretly fanfiction?

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Listening to: Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)
1283 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:06

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

anime was right posted:

your knight must slice off a finger or toe for every loved one they fail.

Mauka no Makai
1294 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:06

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

I like this guy.

Stay angry forever, y'all.

In.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Everything Comes from the Ocean; Three Stories of Expression
1500 words



Oh!
500 words

--see archive--


Mutiny
500 words

--see archive--


Your Heart Will Tell You What Your Head Doesn't Want To Believe
500 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:09

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

How Can Adverbs Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Three Letter Words
500 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:11

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In. Hit me with a song.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Country Feedback

The Cicada, Grief
1111 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:11

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

I wasn't a judge so these aren't real crits. They're just

When I got bored:

If That’s What It Takes
Opening paragraph.

Pre-dawn
“Another woman elbowed him in the ribs.” Seemed like it might have been a cool setting but idk

Foreign Flower
Cool. Read the whole thing.

Ain’t No Girl Like Me
Also cool. Read the whole thing.

The Beat That’s in Every Blast
Read the whole thing because the setting was interesting and I kept expecting it to get better but it didn’t.

Ash Knowledge
“Doting grandfathers can.” Why tell a story within in a story in a short story competition? I don’t know. It could be done well, I guess. It wasn’t here.

Men Over Mission
Read the whole thing. Nice setting.

Miracle
“Walled city.” Lots of ash. Got it. Spooky. it wasn't spooky

The Free Radical
“Never had Dominic felt so useless.” It all started to blur here and I didn’t care so I stopped reading.

Mother in the Radio
“Phil listens to him because it’s his son.” Present tense felt wrong and I didn’t like it

Titanomachy
“To want to, but not be able to.” The casual flippance of the overly brutal childhood did little for my pallet. Nice opening though.

Arc
I got to Rebirth before I was like “wtf am I reading here?” No idea.

Messiah en Route
Cool voice. Cool visuals with the traffic. Read the whole thing.

The Cicada, Grief
Wow. Fun read. Got through it all. Great job, whoever you are. I can totally see all the nuances you put into this.

Sightless Eyes
“Its newfound existence.” I realized that sentence was never gonna end and I was gonna have to start back from the beginning to figure out what was going on and I didn’t want to.

but not me in
Read the whole thing. This didn’t do it for me. The composition felt… clumsy? I was left with a “what the gently caress” but not the kind you were going for.

Temptations
Read the whole thing

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

sebmojo posted:

come on you dam dirty apes do you want to live forever

In.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Harper and the Rails
2593 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:11

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In with Russia.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Medusa or the Lotus Eaters
1069 words

Prompt: Russia

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:12

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Ironic Twist posted:

Yes, I will assign a video for you if you ask

Asking

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Twenty-Seven Isn’t Much and a Coat’s Even Less
1500 words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-3QByz1S9U

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:12

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

In with whatever you'd like me to write about.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Those are good crits. Thank you for the time you spent writing them.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Thranguy posted:

London, 1593
Relationships
Romance: Secret lovers
Espionage: Sir Waler Raleigh's men: scholars or bravos
Espionage: Spymaster Sir Robert Cecil's agents: informers or intelligencers
Need:
To get paid...in information
Location:
The Underworld: The Tower
Object:
Official: An official pardon with the name left blank
Tilt:
Tragedy: Pain, followed by confusion




Black Bile, Yellow Bile, Phlegm, and Blood
1856 words

--see archive--

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2017 around 15:12

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Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Poll: simple prompt or complicated prompt? Your vote counts.

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