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sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

AnonSpore posted:

I looked up the source of the vegan cinnamon crunch and the entire blog is full of things like that

Gluten and oil free baked donuts



If you ever feel like it can't get any worse, just take a bite of a vegan/gluten free donut. That is the bottom of the barrel. I've never tasted anything else that made me feel as defeated.

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sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
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ACES CURE PLANES posted:

What does it taste like? I can't even begin to imagine the taste and consistency from those photos.

Texture of the couple different flavors I had was a new definition of the word dense. Like, imagine a regular donut minus all the air inside.

They tasted like a vitamin store smells. All of them, regardless of whatever flavor they were supposed to be.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
That jumbo slice makes the chart look like that space ship size comparison page.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Plinkey posted:

No way, if there was no ranch what would I dip my pizza in?



Bleu cheese. Welcome to the next level.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
I like well done steak on my microwaved pizza.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
Looks like a menu item at a place called something like "Special Wok" in the food court.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

sweeperbravo posted:

I want a mozzy stick in a taco now, gently caress >:(

This reminded me of the amazing sandwich I had about 2 weeks ago at Fat Sal's. The Fat Tony. Italian sub with mozz sticks, chicken fingers, fries and marinara on top. :sweatdrop:

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

cash crab posted:

"bone appdta teat"

This feels like the linguistic version of tripping over your shoelace and stumbling for like 3 steps.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

NoEyedSquareGuy posted:

Pizza salad:

Ingredients:
1 head of iceberg lettuce, chopped
1 Dominos large pepperoni pizza, chopped

Directions:
Mix ingredients together, then serve suspended in lime jello.

I was right there until you got to lime jello.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

CommonShore posted:

gently caress fake meat and "it tastes exactly like!" logic. My younger brother has been vegan for close to 20 years now and he used to pull that crap - "have the soy cheese! It tastes exactly like real cheese" - you don't know what real cheese tastes like, idiot.

I'll eat the gently caress out of a vegetarian meal, quite happly, except if it contains any of that over-processed "imitation meat."

And of course The Vegan Ginger is 19. Of course she is.

I have to say, there have been advancements made in some cases. I've had vegan chicken and waffles that was incredibly good, and the "chicken" (basically in chicken finger format) was just about the perfect texture of meat. Also had a meatball sub at the same place that really, honestly tasted just like the real thing, with "ricotta" and everything.

Of course this was at a bougie vegan restaurant in LA and totally not an every day food option unless you're an executive, but still.

gently caress soy cheese forever, though.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
That "veggie pizza" sounds vaguely like something my mom used to make for parties, though I think she used the rolled up crescent roll dough, rolled out and baked in a sheet pan. Otherwise, yeah cream cheese with some raw veggies on top sounds about right. Its pretty good, I haven't had any in a while though.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

WHOA too many olives.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
Mmm, steamed rhino skin.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

GrandpaPants posted:

No salad rules?

Inshallahd

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe



The plot thickens.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

NewFatMike posted:

This wandered across my Facebook feed yesterday:



And my answer is: absolutely would not.

Put it on a real plate and we'll talk.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Julias posted:

"Better than what they serve at the rib joint"

....at killing you.

E: You know what I really love? Dump Dinners.

Such an unfortunate name. :allears:

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

cash crab posted:

none cheeseburger one cheese



This is like one of those riddles where both answers are wrong.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

CeramicPig posted:


I don't think I ever posted this but this came up on my fb feed a while ago

Flamin' Hot Cheetos on a disposable plate is probably the single trashiest food thing I can imagine.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
I can't even fathom putting up with someone being that broken about food, as a spouse or child or whatever. The mind boggles.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Hippie Hedgehog posted:

Edit: This stuff is hella tasty, actually, but you get twice as much quality pulled pork for the money.

http://oumph.se/en/portfolios/pulled-oumph/

If you're not using jackfruit as the base for a vegan pulled pork, you're missing out.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Woah, easy there with the addition of some kind of color.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

My Lovely Horse posted:

Yeah now how do I live out my fetish where I am a chicken? Where's my special dildo?

Just load it up with some jade eggs instead! #lifehack

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

WescottF1 posted:

A few months ago she came to my town and ate a 32" pizza with another guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpGYtgfobq4

That other guy should have just stayed home, goddamn.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Aesop Poprock posted:

I think I might be the only person in the world who prefers boiled hot dogs to grilled ones. I like them plump and juicy as opposed to dry and with burn marks. They are also the only meat based food I feel that way about, I like actual sausages grilled

My people.

I also like a pork/chicken blend wiener more than all beef.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

axolotl farmer posted:

Dr. Oetker, as in frozen pizza Dr. Oetker?

I wish I could get a pizza-focused doctorate.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
My mom used to buy Ellio's for that school-lunch-at-home experience. :allears:

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
AFP: SHOW ME YOUR ASPICS

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

atholbrose posted:

Goddammit, I guess I'm having conies for lunch.

Just remember,

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
All this scrapple talk is making me reeeal homesick, assholes. :(

My sister visited a few weeks ago and brought a couple boxes of Butterscotch Krimpets. We can get them in LA, and also they're really terrible in the grand scheme of things, but it's still special somehow. :circlefap:

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

OwlFancier posted:

Edible perhaps but... I'm not sure about starting an oil fire in the middle of the dining room for fun..?

Sterno isn't oil.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Don't worry, goon projects never work out.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

This is the closest I've ever come to considering a pizza rule.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Iron Crowned posted:

Everything is too spicy for my parents, thus tacos for me growing up were just plain ground beef, lettuce, and cheese in a crispy shell. At some point during my teens mild taco sauce was purchased and became a staple. One time my mom bought medium taco sauce, which was banned immediately as my dad extoled the virtues of not eating spicy food (people who eat spicy food have no taste buds).

Your dad sounds like my FIL. A reuben was deemed "pretty spicy" at a restaurant recently. I traded him for my club sandwich.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

The Bloop posted:

Small biscuits?

I like this.

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
It came from Facebook:

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
If they would just market it honestly, it would be fine. Plant based meat replacement. Not "a steak" or "brisket" or "short ribs". I mean, come up with a new name that's a little catchier, but stop selling poo poo like this as something it's not, pretending the whole way. Make it it's own thing!

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
The "bowl" is the bottom half of the broken plate the person is holding

sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe

Leviathan Song posted:

You don't have to cook American bacon either. It's cured and smoked. My aunt has raw bacon and mountain dew for breakfast most days.

Pork Roulettes

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sirbeefalot
Aug 24, 2004
Fast Learner.
Fun Shoe
I'm a little sad that transparipumpkin pie is super tiny. I want a big ol' slice of jello.

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