- FactsAreUseless
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That thread is gold.
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Sep 27, 2016 15:09
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Apr 29, 2024 08:53
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- FactsAreUseless
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oh is your autobiography out already?
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Nov 12, 2016 01:58
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- FactsAreUseless
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Chad: Why? Most bros at one time or another have faked being totally stoked.
Nate: Well they haven't faked it with me.
Chad: How do you know?
Nate: Because I know.
Chad: Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're such a party savant.
Nate: What is that supposed to mean?
Chad: Nothing. It's just that all you bros are sure its never happened to them and that most bros have faked being just completely stoked at least once so you do the math.
Nate: You don't think that I could tell the difference?
Chad: No.
Nate: Get outta here.
Chad: Bro. Bro. Holy loving poo poo bro! Let's loving do this poo poo!!! Let's get this party started!!!!
Nate: Um, are you OK?
Chad: I AM SO TOTALLY STOKED RIGHT NOW BRO! DELTA KAPPA ALPHA FOR LIFE!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!! WHOOOOOO! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT LADIES AND GENTS!! BUST OUT THE BEER PONG TABLE AND TAP THE KEG! THIS'LL BE THE KEGGER THAT PUTS US ON THE loving MAP!! WE'LL BE GODDAMN LEGENDS, BRO!!
*older frat boy looking on, to waiter*: "drat, bro... I'll have what he's having..."
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Nov 17, 2016 19:48
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- FactsAreUseless
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From The Scary Inferno, Canto I
by Dante Aligsgheri
In the middle of the journey of our life
I found myself astray in a scary wood
Not a regular wood, a scary one,
How hard it is to say what it was like
In a wood so scary; the trees had all those weird little holes in them
the very thought of it renews my panic.
It is scary, almost as fear itself is scary.
But to make you poo poo yourself with justified fear,
I will speak about the other things I saw there.
How I got into it I cannot clearly say
for I was moving like a cool normal guy
the moment I stepped out of the non-scary way,
But when I came to the bottom of a terrifying earth mound,
Called a "hill," which was far bigger than me, which is scary,
And had rats on it, probably, but I wasn't going to check
I looked up, and saw it was covered in red spooky light
Like when you see an exit sign at night
Inside the basement of a church and think it's not Satan
(but it is) and you take the long way home
and when you get there, the freezer's empty
Because mom "forgot" to buy ice pops
But you know it's because she doesn't think they're healthy
Then I sensed a creepy influence needling me
Injecting something bad, maybe Ebola? into my soul.
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Aug 2, 2017 12:11
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- FactsAreUseless
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True story about that book: I first encountered it in the children's section of a bookstore I worked at. I don't know how we got it. Info about it online is sparse, it wasn't exactly a best-seller. The physical copy is massive, maybe like 22 by 16 inches. It is much creepier in person.
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Oct 6, 2017 13:22
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Apr 29, 2024 08:53
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- FactsAreUseless
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e: nevermind the book is available online!
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Oct 6, 2017 15:28
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Sep 27, 2016 15:09
