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This is Martin Riese./cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/46068948/IMG_7057.0.0.JPG) He is a water sommelier. That's a real profession now. He is also the author of a book titled "The World of Water," which is basically the water version of one of those wine or beer tasting books. But most notably he oversees the beverage program at Ray's and Stark Bar in Los Angeles. And by "beverages," I mean water. The menu is 45 loving pages long and is all water, sorted by country. Each entry on the menu includes the number of total dissolved solids and how much salt, magnesium and calcium is contained within that particular bottle of water. Let's see what he has to say about San Pellegrino, an Italian sparkling water that can be found in 24-packs in supermarkets the country over for less than what the restaurant sells for one bottle. "S.Pellegrino flows naturally from a spring in Val Brembana, in the foothills of the Italian Alps in the territory of San Pellegrino Terme, near Bergamo (Lombardy). The water arrives at the surface naturally enriched with mineral salts. S.Pellegrino water has a lot of presence thanks to its lively and long-lasting bubbles, which feel creamy on the palate and a slightly salty taste, well-balanced with acidity to give an overall refreshing, thirst-quenching feel. Type: Sparkling; TDS: 1109 mg; Content: Sodium 36 mg, Magnesium 53 mg, Calcium 181 mg" Fascinating. Oh, and that bottle of Berg (  ) in the picture? That'll be $20, thanks.
DARPA Dad fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Mar 31, 2016 |
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Mar 31, 2016 22:29
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Saw this eye rolling brand at the grocery store the other day. They had such amazing creations as frozen turkey burgers with chunks of cheese in them. I like how it hits every lame rear end cliche in the book. Tattooed beard guy, "craft" meats, lame macho pandering... Anyone who loves hating on this stuff will probably enjoy this blog post. http://carles.buzz/the-contemporary-conformist/
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Mar 31, 2016 23:28
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I saw bacon hummus at the supermarket the other day. It may well have been tasty, but just seemed wrong on several levels.
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Mar 31, 2016 23:33
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DARPA Dad posted:S.Pellegrino water has a lot of presence thanks to its lively and long-lasting bubbles, which feel creamy on the palate I know it's bullshit and all, but come on now. Tone it down a bit.
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Apr 1, 2016 00:12
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It would be funny as poo poo to make that guy do a blind taste test of a bunch of water including random filtered tap water.
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Apr 1, 2016 00:17
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I'm tired of restaurants cracking a raw egg over all my non-egg-associated food. Everything from pizza to rice to ramen noodles, with a runny "farm fresh" egg oozing on top. It's very trendy, but I can't wait for it to stop.
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Apr 1, 2016 01:52
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I hate food being served on weird things. Use a plate, dumbasses.
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Apr 1, 2016 01:59
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NESguerilla posted:It would be funny as poo poo to make that guy do a blind taste test of a bunch of water including random filtered tap water. and one cup you peed in
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Apr 1, 2016 02:00
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Scathach posted:I hate food being served on weird things. Use a plate, dumbasses. This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:17
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NESguerilla posted:It would be funny as poo poo to make that guy do a blind taste test of a bunch of water including random filtered tap water. He probably forages in public bathrooms for locally sourced urban water and is considering digging an artesinal well in the car park so clients can sup directly.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:21
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Yeah, I've noticed restaurants, and not even fancy hipster ones, like serving food on things that aren't plates. At least the shovel looks usable since it has raised edges, eating off flat wood slabs is the worst.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:22
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Mason jars with handles. You're not even upcycling or whatever anymore, they're made to be used as drinking vessels.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:31
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Scathach posted:I hate food being served on weird things. Use a plate, dumbasses. What in the loving poo poo is this nonsense?
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Apr 1, 2016 02:31
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Probably some authentic outback bullshit about woodsman cooking and eating their food on tools. The food doesn't look bad but let me eat off a plate like a civilized person.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:43
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Breakfast served on a wooden board, just give me a plate like regular person please.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:51
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The farmer holding the handle waits for the perfect second to just throw that loving meal right into your face for being dumb enough to think eating from a shovel makes you cool.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:52
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I wonder why they even bothered with the peas.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:53
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Turns out it's morons in Britain doing this poo poo. I'm not at all surprised.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:56
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What the gently caress is even in the middle?
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Apr 1, 2016 02:56
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Internet Kraken posted:What the gently caress is even in the middle? I think it's a mousse of some sort.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:58
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I once got some tomatoes with my meal in a restaurant and they brought out two tins of tomatoes, put a piece of wood on top so it looked like a little bridge with tins for supports then put my tomatoes on the bridge bit of wood and cut them up. I don't know why this happened but it did, then they had the motherfucking nerve to give me a funny look when I asked for ketchup, like that was the oddest tomato related thing about that scenario or something.
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Apr 1, 2016 02:58
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peter gabriel posted:I once got some tomatoes with my meal in a restaurant and they brought out two tins of tomatoes, put a piece of wood on top so it looked like a little bridge with tins for supports then put my tomatoes on the bridge bit of wood and cut them up. What the gently caress  Shoe food is also a thing. A bad, bad thing.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:02
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Where the hell do you guys eat that does this crap?
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Apr 1, 2016 03:02
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Scathach posted:What the gently caress Shoes are for feet, not food, wtf
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Apr 1, 2016 03:03
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Internet Kraken posted:Where the hell do you guys eat that does this crap? Mine was here: https://www.jamieoliver.com/italian/restaurants/manchester/ The website asked if it could see my location, I said no and I feel pretty  about that, gently caress you tomato bridge website, the last laugh is mine.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:04
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ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:Turns out it's morons in Britain doing this poo poo. I'm not at all surprised. This is amazing and baffling. I haven't seen anything like this in the states. have you guys?
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Apr 1, 2016 03:08
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I haven't but New England isn't a great barometer for stupid trendy fads. EDIT: The most offensive thing I can think of is a restaurant I went too that served fries in these tin cups instead of just putting them on your plate. That's nothing compared to this crap.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:10
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The tomato bridge place also gave us chips in buckets
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Apr 1, 2016 03:10
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Internet Kraken posted:Where the hell do you guys eat that does this crap? Luckily I'm too poor to eat food from a shovel or a shoe. However, now that I live a half hour from Seattle, I'm sure I'll find lots of horrible hipster food.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:13
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Scathach posted:Luckily I'm too poor to eat food from a shovel or a shoe. However, now that I live a half hour from Seattle, I'm sure I'll find lots of horrible hipster food. Most of these look like bars or Chili's type places.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:15
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Scathach posted:Luckily I'm too poor to eat food from a shovel or a shoe. However, now that I live a half hour from Seattle, I'm sure I'll find lots of horrible hipster food. Eat out of bins, the way things are going that'll be all the rage in 5 years here. Or a guy in a string vest punches your wife a throws month old leftovers at your face for an hour. That's where it's heading, I'm telling you.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:16
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We Want Plates
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Apr 1, 2016 03:16
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peter gabriel posted:The tomato bridge place also gave us chips in buckets It's an implicit indictment of consumer culture in bucket form. And you thought you just wanted some chips. Idiot.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:16
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Anosmoman posted:It's an implicit indictment of consumer culture in bucket form. Shame on me
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Apr 1, 2016 03:18
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NESguerilla posted:This is amazing and baffling. I haven't seen anything like this in the states. have you guys?
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Apr 1, 2016 03:18
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:bigtran: Hello sir how would you like your steak? Medium rare please:bigtran: *Starts cement mixer*
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Apr 1, 2016 03:20
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How the gently caress can you be served food like this? This utterly unacceptable.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:24
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Internet Kraken posted:How the gently caress can you be served food like this? This utterly unacceptable. Nothing sets the mood for a nice relaxing meal out better than the sound of a hundred knives cutting food on slate tiles, it's like angels singing SCRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Apr 1, 2016 03:25
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Water sommelier seems like an important job. Find the Dasanis of the world and eliminate them.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:26
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peter gabriel posted:Eat out of bins, the way things are going that'll be all the rage in 5 years here. The Northwest is freakier than I thought. And here I was worrying that the Mexican food wouldn't be up to par.
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Apr 1, 2016 03:32
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