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cheerfullydrab posted:I don't care what people do with coupons as long as they don't say "kew-pon". That poo poo is creepy and disgusting. If you're not pronouncing it "coopin" like Ron White you're doing it wrong. With a completely straight face.
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May 2, 2016 15:53
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Jonas Albrecht posted:Reading about something similar happening and internalizing it. One of my coworkers does this poo poo all the time. Sometimes he'll even tell me stories about things I've done, with him edited in place of myself. I've never figured out if that's a sign of autism or just people being consummate oneuppers. I've had a couple of friends that just cannot stop telling "badass" stories about their life but from what I know of their life they haven't had nearly enough time or resources to be all the amazing things they claim. Both of them have been the awful oneupper that nobody wants to be friends with, but both also showed signs of being  about everything else as well. It may be connected. 
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Jun 13, 2016 15:31
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Ytlaya posted:I did similar things with exaggerating stories a couple times back when I was a teenager (though not to the extent of the troper tales). One example was basically a composite of three incidents. One involved me going out to bike and forgetting my helmet, with my dad reminding me to wear it before I left. Another involved me having a bad bike accident where I scraped up my knee really bad. And another involved my helmet getting a dent in it somehow. I melded these stories together into "I almost went biking without my helmet before having a bad bike wreck where my helmet hit the curb so hard it was dented." In reality this probably didn't happen, but the pieces were there and I thought it would make a good story. Over time it reached the point where I started to believe things had actually happened that way, and it wasn't until I was in my early 20s or so that I realized that I only vaguely remembered each element of the story separately. It was easier to just not think too hard about it and assume it actually happened. I have a really similar quasi-memory about fracturing my nose riding a bike when I was a kid; I told it as absolute truth for 15-20 years, and I had the "bump" in my nose to verify it in my mind (even before I actually did shatter my nose years later), but now that I'm older I start wondering how true the story actually is, or if I even broke it the first time at all. Since I have a real "broke my nose standing still in a meeting room" story now I've stopped telling it, but I'll probably always wonder about it. Resculpting reality to be more interesting or combining stories to make an attention-getting mega-story are pretty common in kids, and a lot of people just never grow out of it. Some of them become the consummate one-uppers that post bullshit on NAR, and some of them just quietly keep doing it on a lesser, more subtle level over the years as they realize nobody's going to call them out on it.
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Jul 15, 2016 21:03
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 Accompanied by this, which did not help the instant "of all the poo poo that did not happen" feeling I got the second I started reading it. 
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Jul 21, 2016 01:43
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Electrical Fire posted:Pretty sure there is one with Goku in it, so you're not necessarily wrong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MW9Nrg_kZU "you can't flow to Son Goku, I kaio-ken get it done" is worth all the ERB hate
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Aug 12, 2016 00:46
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This would be believable and actually somewhat  if he'd stopped at "I'm a big fat guy trying to work out, and I'm slowly getting better - the other day some dudes made fun of me and someone told them to knock it off because I was obviously making an effort to better myself" but noooooooooo. Not on the internet. He and the cougar are also not getting married, 2/10 would not read again
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Aug 12, 2016 05:32
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ohohoho look at my clever ability to name six incredibly
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Sep 21, 2016 23:23
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Danaru posted:I would love to hear these people define the word "hacking" "watched over someone's shoulder and got the alarm code, hosed with the settings" more than likely. I used to do similar poo poo (not with alarm systems/fire alarms but small things) because I was a terrible person in high school, but at least I didn't call it hacking
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Dec 9, 2016 21:55
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I gotta say, the specific use of "watermelon" as a reference felt like a massive dogwhistle, but
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Jan 24, 2017 21:40
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That doesn't even look like the same dog or is that 
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Apr 17, 2017 22:51
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Stoatbringer posted:Sounds kinda familiar.... Oh yes. The anonymous confessions thread in GBS would be infinitely more entertaining if CC would put their efforts towards writing longform STDH confessions based on Far Side cartoons
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May 10, 2017 17:22
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Len posted:And by 2002 didn't Michael have his weird nose job and poo poo? How do you get confused for him? I mean honestly this can be expanded to "who in the world besides maybe Latoya on a bad day could be mistaken for Michael Jackson"
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Jun 24, 2017 17:38
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ilmucche posted:Cool, I was confused because other poster referred to O+ as fygm blood, when it's still pretty good to donate. Although I guess only + people can take it? O+ is fygm blood because it can take O- (like everyone else) but is the most common donor type so they don't hassle you to give blood source: am O+
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Jul 12, 2017 22:23
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TheMostFrench posted:My interpretation: The guy doing the spray painting is covering the signs because he disagrees with the sentiment of 'gently caress off nazis' (because he is one). The guy who wrote the STDH is probably using 'ape' to suggest that spray painter is uneducated or sub-human. Yeah, this is possibly the only case in the history of time where someone has used the word "ape" as a pejorative and not meant "black". Black Nazis are, as far as I'm aware, few and far between, so "roided up Neanderthal dudebro" is probably what he meant in this one. The person writing STDH about beating up a Nazi seems like the kind of person who would automatically assume a large, muscular man was an uneducated ape
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Jul 26, 2017 20:25
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Thin Privilege posted:Aren't there schools that are ok with no vaccines so all the kids are unvaccinated? Like in California or something? Or is that stdExist Probably in some places, but the public schools where I am (Central Texas) at least require shot records to register, I'd assume most places probably do (medical exceptions aside). It's one of those things the Worst States tend to be a bit better on, because the crazy religious right aren't the ones screaming about antivax (just creationism)
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Aug 2, 2017 23:20
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life is killing me posted:Many grocery stores also attempt to trick you in the produce section. The first thing you see when you walk in my local Albertson's produce aisle from the store entrance (everyone goes to produce first) are the very vegetables you are there to get, and if you don't pay enough attention you end up buying organic and end up wondering when spaghetti squash and asparagus got so loving expensive. You have to walk through the organic poo poo to get to the regular poo poo and it's stupid. gently caress all that poo poo, I hate that they put the organic strawberries right there happy in the front at HEB and I have to go practically out of the produce section entirely to find the normal ones (albeit they do have a giant wall of them, it's just not in the place you'd expect it to be). At least the blueberries and raspberries and such are usually just split out on the same stand. I buy non-organic intentionally because a) you're paying for the "organic" label and they taste exactly the same, b) usually the non-organic produce is in better shape anyway and c) I am A Poor and my kids eat a shitload of fruit so I'm not paying $6 for strawberries If this person is anywhere in Murica though there is no way in hell that cost $32. Those aren't fancy grapes from the look of them, though those might be organic raspberries. Here we go, courtesy of HEB: Grapes: $1.98/lb. I'd have to be feeling pretty generous to call that more than 4 pounds of grapes, so $8 max. The most expensive white grapes currently at the HEB by my house are cotton candy grapes at $6.98 a pound but they have a really obvious pink packaging (as most cotton candy grapes do). Those are not cotton candy grapes. Pineapple: $2.77. Moving on. Raspberries: $2.48 for a 6 oz package. $3.98 for organic. Sprite Zero: probably $1.50 from the soda machine out front Nuts: $2. She gave us this one. Shove all that together and you get a whopping $17, round up to $20 if you're being generous. That's in Texas though, and our produce prices are generally pretty good. If she's in NYC or something, or the post is from January, she might have something there. I feel it may be a hair exaggerated though. 
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Aug 7, 2017 16:59
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Fathis Munk posted:Why are goons so unable of resisting the allure of posting about cost of living? Because goddammit someone is WRONG on the internet
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Aug 7, 2017 20:04
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YeahTubaMike posted:Unfortunately I wrote everything down in diaries from the time I was 7 until I was about 19, so my worst memories probably really happened. On the bright side, my best ones probably did too. My journal ran from about 16 (lost the 12-15 bit in the death of an old Mac LC) to when I finally realized I was doing myself more harm than good at about 32. I don't want to just delete it because it's literally the only reason I remember a lot of my early 20s, but I'll be goddamned if I ever go back and read the thing except for looking up specific dates of a Metallica concert or when I dated a certain person or whatever. Because I wrote it all down, I can't forget it even if I want to, but I tended towards at least mild exaggeration and incredible arrogance for a lot of it, so I'm not actually positive sometimes what actually happened underneath Younger TK's rewriting of history to make herself look better. 
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Sep 3, 2017 17:11
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ReidRansom posted:
So the crap enemies have something to drop in Persona games  You got ¥13! Wooooow. Thanks. Useful.
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Sep 6, 2017 23:23
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You fools, she's obviously Batman
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Sep 10, 2017 17:37
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Cat Detector Van for life. content: 
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Oct 13, 2017 16:36
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while I'm here, could someone repost the best version of the Atheist Professor stdh (the one with the bear wreathed in holy fire, "I'M THE ONE YOU WANT", etc)? I know it's like 20 places in this thread but it hasn't come up in a while and I need it for reasons.
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Oct 13, 2017 18:17
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I'm still a fan of  personally. I never thought of hamplanet or lardwhale or whatever being gendered insults, but maybe that's just me.
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Oct 29, 2017 18:17
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I feel like the 41 years almost has to be a typo/edit; I mean, her being 41 would be believable, I had my first kid at 19 and my last at 33, but there's no way she's got a 3-year-old at ~60 years old.
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Dec 6, 2017 15:23
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I'm really glad it's not really a thing anymore, my oldest is a born righty with a half-useless left hand like me, but my younger two are happily ambidextrous and half the time my 5-year-old switches hands in the middle of drawing or writing because certain letters are easier to write with his left hand, I guess. I'm sure it'll even out and he'll end up favoring one or the other but at least we don't have to deal with them being pushed into being right-handed.
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Jan 22, 2018 17:06
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Katt posted:I recall Eddie Murphy doing a stand up about how white people in haunted house movies always seem to stick around as things get worse as opposed to just bolting straight out of the door the first time you turn on the shower and blood comes out instead of water. "white people do dumb poo poo in horror movies" has been a cliche for a long time; I don't even remember where I originally heard the "black dude dies first despite being the only one with sense" cliche but that's a thing too. obviously the white people have to do dumb poo poo for the movie to happen, but the black dude being the one to go "y'all, this is loving stupid" and then dying horribly has to be intentional.
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Feb 23, 2018 18:59
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Pththya-lyi posted:I think they should teach Romeo and Juliet because it's a story about impulsive teenagers from an impulsive teenage perspective Romeo and Juliet being taught as a tragic love story is a travesty and we need a movement to start teaching it as a moral lesson about why teenagers are dumb af
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Jul 19, 2018 17:39
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I mean, I have a six-year-old who's basically the Wikipedia article for ADHD and that's exactly the kind of poo poo that comes out of his brain, I could see it (except yeah, who has physical media anymore)
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Aug 28, 2018 14:17
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TheMostFrench posted:I sung it to this tune in my head. It Wasn't Me was the first thing that popped into my head, honestly
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Sep 6, 2018 15:49
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fish and chips and dip posted:And here I thought that gamer gate couldn't be any more loving stupid. as they say in D&D, there is always more and it is always worse
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Oct 4, 2018 13:42
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Jonathan Coulton is the Platonic ideal of filk, that should speak volumes. Also Voltaire (lol) but he was more edgy goth most of the time. He did a couple of star trek songs though. The entire nerdcore genre of the late 00s. Y'all know what it is.
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Jul 21, 2019 06:55
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Skwirl posted:I believe the waking up part and seeing your cats staring at the door, because they'll just stare at poo poo. my idiot orange cat is currently staring intently at absolutely nothing in a corner of the kitchen, can confirm
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Sep 10, 2019 23:10
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sebmojo posted:People in this thread routinely have nfi what little kids are actually like. seriously, some of y'all have never met a small child. my 5-year-old is mildly famous among her teachers for having an eidectic memory for song lyrics, it's not that unusual for kids to obsessively memorize things they like until they can mimic them perfectly. At length. Whether you like it or not.
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Feb 13, 2020 14:48
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a fatguy baldspot posted:yeah one of my clients will use entire episodes of sponge bob to communicate and it owns. my aforementioned kindergartner is mildly autistic, and yeah, up until pretty recently she talked basically in her own code made up of finding a song that fit what you were asking her and singing it as a response. It's weird to explain but very similar, she'd "talk" entirely in Dora/Bubble Guppies quotes and her library of songs. She just started finding and using her own words maybe last summer and she still chooses to make up little songs about what she's doing half the time. Kids, especially on the spectrum, are really honestly capable of some weird and hilarious connections in a brain that hasn't been taught it shouldn't do that.
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Feb 14, 2020 18:35
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in theory it's a cute "let's have some Dad Time" thing but much like the rest of hellworld, it was that for maybe ten seconds in an episode of Saved by the Bell or something and then it became creepy performative masculinity with a strong subtext of purity ball
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Feb 16, 2020 08:51
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it's that thing Chris Rock joked about a million years ago, you don't get a medal for poo poo you're supposed to do. But you do, because it's the internet and there's a solid like...third of the world that genuinely thinks you should be disappointed to not Pass On Your Manly Lineage, so here we are, having to patiently remind everyone that yes, dads do indeed love their children, yes, even if they're girls, what the gently caress
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Feb 17, 2020 06:31
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xtal posted:I make up a new story for my scars every time a buddy at an old job had a big scar on his back from surgery and told an increasingly elaborate story about getting bitten by a shark that got more and more ludicrous with everyone who asked
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Aug 18, 2020 05:40
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