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Jay Rust posted:For posterity's sake, here's the OG Albert Einstein STDH: And that man who married his cousin and slept around on both of his wives... was Albert Einstein.
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Apr 15, 2016 22:58
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 they just popped em in like ball bearings and now he's immediately associating things with a sense he never had. then we headed home the same day. must share, god bless
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Apr 16, 2016 03:23
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Libandano Urfam posted:My must share on your wallll
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Apr 16, 2016 12:24
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:I like to call them "teeaboos". Damnit, I'd been calling them angloboos but I'm stealing this now.
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Apr 18, 2016 00:35
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Samfucius posted:I don't know poo poo about the mods here, what is this event? cash crab and the rest of the mods are given a bow and arrows and a freezerful of McCormick mozzarella bites and jalapeno poppers. Whoever is left standing brings glory to their district.
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Apr 22, 2016 04:00
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And that child grew up to be... Dexter Morgan.
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Apr 23, 2016 16:38
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Non Serviam posted:I don't know anyone who can remember a pedophile teacher, and I went to a Catholic school. In 12 years of public school we had 5 teachers/coaches fired for or convicted of molestation.
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Apr 28, 2016 11:51
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bringmyfishback posted:Um, that is literally insane. A band director, two PE teachers, an afterschool activities advisor, and an English teacher. I felt sort of bad because the advisor went after boys and had even driven me home in his van but I think I was too fat for him.
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Apr 28, 2016 12:00
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Crow Jane posted:Which probably says unpleasant things about me as well as him, tbh Well, that's the thing about power differentials! They act like a complete jerk and somehow you're the one who feels bad.
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Apr 28, 2016 23:08
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kizudarake posted:More gambling stories STDH from these forums: "911? Our illegal high stakes poker game has just been robbed."
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May 6, 2016 12:09
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Imaduck posted:If you gamble a lot, you meet a lot of interesting people in interesting situations. It's part of what makes gambling fun and sometimes terrifying. This is doubly true if you're hustling people. Well, I don't wanna do this, I have a bad feeling about it, but she keeps askin me, keeps askin me, finally I said okay 'cause I'm sick of listening to it. Well, we're picking this guy up at the train station. So we get to the train station, and we're waitin for the guy. Now I'm carrying the weed in one of those carry-on bags, and I gotta take a piss. So I tell the connection I'll be right back, I'm goin' to the little boys room. So I walk into the men's room, and who's standing there? Six Los Angeles County Sheriffs and a German Shepherd.
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May 7, 2016 04:53
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Stroop There It Is posted:if there's one thing that describes trans people, it's that we love talking loudly about things involving our genitals in public!! what is this "diss-for-ee-ah" thing? yeah, i can just picture it now, a loud mob of angry transgendereds in the texas suburbs acting like they own the place. of course she asked her teenage son if he needed to go to the bathroom and he didn't feel comfortable, because of course. also "i've got gay and lesbian friends- and a bi friend!- and they're so much more respectable!" fuuuuuuuuck you
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May 11, 2016 20:28
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Ytlaya posted:Even a lot of the comments, some of which were by people who otherwise liked this author, were talking about how obviously fabricated and implausible the story is. Someone in the comments mentions a lynching in Waco and somehow ties that into people not standing up to trans people. I think they're confused about which side of the lynch mob they would've been on.
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May 11, 2016 20:56
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HOOLY BOOLY posted:What happened to just seeing kids and thinking "aww they make a cute couple" and now we have to refer it as shipping. It's shorthand. Ship these children far the gently caress away from their creepy neighbor.
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May 17, 2016 10:14
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bringmyfishback posted:but Macaulay Culkin dies at the end! Yeah, I was like "this sounds like someone trying to remember the plot of My Girl."
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May 17, 2016 10:59
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Bremma posted:"What? You're my girl and you won't give me any sugar?" That boy was a type 1 diabetic. Shortly after this, his blood sugar crashed, and he fell and struck his head on the ground. He never woke up. Don't be Johnny, learn to recognize the signs of juvenile diabetes.
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May 20, 2016 06:57
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Verisimilidude posted:there are no open seats Verisimilidude posted:So I go to the next seat
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May 22, 2016 16:34
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Postal Parcel posted:What is the redpill relationship boogeyman? Was going to post "women," then was going to post "beaten," then got sad.
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Jun 12, 2016 14:48
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I forgot which thread I was in when that got posted but I think it's in the right place now.
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Jun 19, 2016 17:27
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Most bears I know aren't closeted to begin with. They're quite happy with who they are; they dance and sing and smell of leather and Old Spice. And they jingle when they walk. Avatar/post.
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Jul 2, 2016 16:56
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Khazar-khum posted:This troper's mother has basically lived one long Crowning Moment of Awesome. Currently, she's an accountant, and is easily one of, if not THE best, in Florida, and has literally made and destroyed companies simply by joining and leaving (though she refuses to be a boss due to her desire to just go home and relax when the whole place starts collapsing, as she knows she can get another job instantly). She did a dual-enrollment with UCF and Oxford at the same time she was doing the accounting for Canadian rock band Glass Tiger and dating their guitarist. She followed them on their tours and even got help from Slash himself on a history paper. This troper's mother has been the accountant for several businesses that failed. Things start getting rough and she refuses to put in overtime, just comes home and turns her phone off. Dad got really angry once when she turned down a promotion and he ended up leaving. For a while she was dating a guitarist. We moved around a lot. 
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Jul 11, 2016 11:39
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I was ready to yell "you can't catch a Vaporeon, you have to evolve it" and then it was a fakepost. 
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Jul 31, 2016 10:10
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Khazar-khum posted:Camp It seems like half of these are "teenage kids did regular teenage kid things to me and since I'm still in 10th grade I am still broken by this" and the other half are "I'm involved in musical theatre, cue insanity."
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Aug 6, 2016 16:03
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I think "marshals" guy doesn't know what a HOA is.
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Aug 7, 2016 15:31
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I was going to post "urban means black" last night but closed the window and shrugged. Happy to dogpile NS now, though.
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Aug 28, 2016 22:58
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Thank you. When I see that Khazar-khum posted, I'm like, "this will be genuinely stupid and pointless."
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Sep 1, 2016 04:53
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Realized I might have phrased that poorly, I applaud your efforts to bring me stupid and pointless stories from other people to laugh at. A++ would read again.
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Sep 4, 2016 23:44
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:
superjohnlock e: ok whoops i gave her too much credit and assumed she misspelled "john locke" but she's referring to watson/holmes slash
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Sep 12, 2016 04:39
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Not knowing what's going on with (whatever) sport is about as unforgivable as not knowing what's going on with Dancing With The Stars. People have different hobbies. It's OK if your go-to topic of discussion doesn't work with everyone.
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Oct 4, 2016 03:01
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WrenP-Complete posted:I googled "object underwear" and TV tropes was the first hit. It means holding an object against your body to cover yourself. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HandOrObjectUnderwear Googled "Ugandan discussion" and apparently that means sex; so the guy had sex (multiple layers of STDH) and walked past his roommate naked and postcoital holding up the clean clothing he was going to change into after a shower. Once you decode the troper-speak it always gets creepier.
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Oct 5, 2016 14:30
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From a stupid clickbait article that lifted from askreddit:quote:I don't work at McDonalds, but once I was there waiting for my friend to get off work. He was arguing with a drunk guy who was demanding 200 chicken mcnuggets. They ended up selling him the 200 nuggets, when he proved he had the money. He proceeded to run outside and throw them at people screaming "YOU GET A NUGGET! AND YOU! EVERYONE GETS NUGGETS!"
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Oct 10, 2016 07:30
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Khazar-khum posted:The same backpack actualy beat Boston airport security, because after coming back from England, this troper spent 10 minutes trying to take all the books he had bought overseas and didn't want to ship back(they totaled soemthing like 250, with 70 of those coming back with me directly). Eventualy, after 30 books, the bag checker gave up and handed me back the backpack, saying (I Am Not Making This Up) "Congradulations kid, you beat the U.S. Goverment. Now get the #$%^ out of here." Because airlines have no weight limits on carry on or luggage. Given that commuter air travel is one of the most expensive forms of travel it probably would've been cheaper to, you know, ship them. (If this had actually happened.)
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Oct 22, 2016 20:17
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Khazar-khum posted:(paragraphs of detail)
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Nov 4, 2016 14:07
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dordreff posted:The idea of just going to town on a whole raw cucumber is genuinely more disturbing to me than the masturbation option. They're buttered.
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Nov 12, 2016 12:02
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Tired Moritz posted:if you're cool like you, you eat cucumbers after you eat someone greasy/spicy to clear your palate. i try to avoid greasy/spicy partners
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Nov 12, 2016 14:27
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Khazar-khum posted:In an attempt to avoid actually giving the speech, this Troper forced his sister into a reluctant state of Nunnery. Partly because nobody else in the family will give the speech and if she brought a boyfriend to a family gathering he'd never, ever want to come within three states of us ever again. For example: A cousin of my father brought her (then new) boyfriend to Thanksgiving, and my drunk uncle went up to him and went "I bet you'd taste good with barbecue sauce." Needless to say my grandmother has threatened us with death if we pick on the poor man again... that is until last Thanksgiving when he didn't even say "hi" to my grandmother. I made the suggestion we get a giant sign that says "We love Al!" In front of the house and my uncle made the official game that we have to reference barbecue sauce as much as possible around him. This Easter's gonna be fun~ Haha. Troper witnesses his drunk uncle hitting on someone's boyfriend and completely misunderstands.
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Nov 26, 2016 14:43
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(sees an (i believe) muslim woman) SUP KEESHA
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Nov 29, 2016 05:46
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troper thinking harder than he's ever thought about anything before in his life: Sex is like... Taking A Level In Badass
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Dec 5, 2016 07:06
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poo poo that did happen: helped a lady push her stalled car off the road and she wrote me a voucher for a free meal at the cafe she managed. Stopped in and they wouldn't honor it. 
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Feb 3, 2017 02:16
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Sisal Two-Step posted:idgi either but these stories are always weirdly popular among the tumblr/imgur crews. Plenty of people apply for college their junior year. I would think someone in grad school would be aware of this.
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Feb 21, 2017 12:22
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