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Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Best epsiode was when Neelix slayed that Klingon strange and trashed Tu'vocs room.

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Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
The Kazons had to be the single most retarded thing.

They were tribes people. WHY DO THEY HAVE SPACE SHIPS?!
HOW DO THEY HAVE SPACE SHIPS? HOW/WHY DO THEY HAVE SHIPS THAT WOULD BE A THREAT TO VOYAGER?!

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

drilldo squirt posted:

They were slaves of the ship people and then killed them all, as far as I know.

That really doesn't make it any less retarded,. but thank you for the reponse.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Automatic Slim posted:

I'm sure those Janeway/Paris catfish babies will be a future plot point for Star Trek Online.

"Please gather 30 fillets for this weeks fry dinner"

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Baronjutter posted:

I was watching some Enterprise out-takes and Scott would just light up and be really funny and charismatic and human-like between takes. Why couldn't they have let him actually be a tiny bit silly or funny or have a range beyond "wood" or "angry wood" ??

Also T'pol seemed nervous as gently caress. Every outtake was her laughing like a crazy person on the verge of a mental breakdown. In the 50 year book they mentioned she was really stressed in season 1 so that might be it.

What's weird though is that there's a million good quality TNG bloopers and some ok voyager and enterprise bloopers but I can't find any solid DS9 blooper reels. I guess they were too professional all the time to ever gently caress up.

Any problems with Voyager and Enterprise (and some of the late seasons of TNG) you can blame squarely on two people.
Whatever the two fuckers were that produced Voyager. someone supply their names, please?






I need to rewatch Voyager after learning that Janeway was being played like she was an egomaniac, and the Native guy was constantly trying to get fired.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
I must confess: I've seen less than 10 episodes of TNG, and have only seen Generations and Most of First Contact.
Seen a bunch of TOS episodes, and some of the movies? (mostly 2 and 4) and not a single episode of DS9. I have seen, however, every episode of Voyager, and Enterprise.
My ST knowledge mostly comes from these threads. I think I enjoy reading people analyze the insanity than actually watching the stuff.


I did see the ST reboot movie in theaters, and it was hot garbage. Didnt bother with any of the others.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

actually it would be "this barrel is WITHOUT HONOR"

A dog....A barrel...


THEY ARE WITHOUT HONOR

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Ben Soosneb posted:

In voyager, after s3/4/5 whenever the doctor gets the mobile emitter and they are in contact with earth, through subspace or Something.

Why don't they send the emitter schematics and then just post back hologramatic versions of themselves.

Better than nothing.

The emitter is centuries ahead in technology. They didn't build the thing. They took it.
I imagine the doctor isn't really willing to have to took apart to figure it all out.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Space Jews!

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Fat Shat Sings posted:

Pop Quiz Ensign.

We hit (insert name) nebula that causes a holodeck malfunction.

Tom Paris is on the second floor of an irish pub running a train on the bartender because Janeway made him work the night shift.

Does he fall 10+ feet onto his dick?

No, because he isn't actually on the second floor. He's still standing on the floor of the holodeck.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

ZenMasterBullshit posted:

Voyager so far has 'Bad CGI monsters' and 'The borg again' and of course 'Some lovely aliens with gross matted hair that looks like trash'.


The Kazon look like they are ticked off we took their hackey sack

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Andenno posted:

It's from a few pages back, but where does Shatner get the reputation for being an rear end in a top hat? He's a ham, but he seems to have a good sense of humor about himself.

You know how in Galaxy Quest, everyone hates Tim's character? It's like that.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

Ehhh, those petabytes are still all crammed into his head, along with all the computational power and personality hardware too, and he's not emitting like a kilowatt of thermal energy when he's thinking hard. That's going to be impressive for a good long while still.

Whys everything gotta be in the head? Stick that poo poo in the chest cavity.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Met posted:

The show is full of great episodes. If something retroactively ruins those for you, you just might be a stubborn manchild. You should work on that.

I unno man. Lost had some good episodes, but I sure as poo poo wouldn't rewatch any knowing how nothing was really resolved, and the wet fart of an ending.

Same thing with the Wheel of Time novels. The last two books are so drat different from the others, that it ruins any enjoyment I would have had from the previous ones.
I swear they made up that bit about Jordan having the plot and poo poo wrote down before he died and Sanders just making up the ending himself.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

thrilla in vanilla posted:

I watched the two partner that ends the fifth season last night. When Janeway claimed to have never broken the prime directive I laughed pretty hard. I feel like I have to finish the show now but it's so loving mind numbing. Even ol creepin rear end Geordie is more relatable than these dicks.

Everything in Voyage does start to make more sense when you know that Janeway was being played as a Megalomaniac/Egomaniac.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
You know, I'm just glad Ricardo didn't live to see that potato faced pasty brit play Khan

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Dr Who is like a litmus test of how to tell if someone has horrible taste.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Powered Descent posted:

Wasn't the Sheliak "costume" just a black blanket draped over an extra?

Shoggoths?

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Less "badass" and more " borderline psychotic"

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Remember the time he gave an old woman a pill and it regrew her kidney?

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

corn in the bible posted:

Remember in First Contact where they let the woman come back to their time because she deserves it

Did that in Star Trek 4, the whale lady.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Yeah, everyone says Synthehol really sucks.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Um, Most of France died during the last World War, and so you had English moving to France and cargo culting their traditions.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Tries to go KA-PLAH

Goes KA-PLOP

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Col Green: Monster or Unsung hero?

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
I would like to hang out with Andorians. They sounds like they'd be fun.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Reminder that this dude? excels at violent Klingon sex.





Backstory: Late season Voyager runs into a lost Klingon ship, also trying to get back. One of the lady Klingons imprints on harry, and harry is too bitch made so he gets Nelix to help.
Nelix tears harry a new one verbally, and takes the Klingon lady to Tuvoxs room and procedes to loving TRASH it having nasty, nasty, Klingon whoopee.


As poo poo as a character Nelix is, that one moment redeems him for me.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Neddy Seagoon posted:

No, that's actually a pretty sane argument believe it or not. He was in a relationship with Kes, a member of a race who only live Nine years and she wasn't even One when they first started dating. There is also a very skeevy episode in season 2 or 3 where she gets pushed into their species' once-in-a-lifetime mating state because of ambient space-rays when she's only two or three and it usually happens to Ocampa who are four or five years old. And insists Neelix gently caress her during it, a deed he's not entirely resistant to.

The whole thing should've had the writer of it quietly led away for small chat and a severance slip. Or possibly had them placed on a government watch list.

The idea of a species that only lves 9 cycles is pretty dumb, but it's hardly skeevy. Actually, I don't really wanna go down that path. I just wanted to talk about Ocampas extrapolated from what little info we have.
A species with accelerated maturation, reaching adult maturity in less than a year(?), with (assumed. would HAVE to be) genetic memory, it's not so far out there.


I've always thought the Ocampa should be more insect like. Sorta like Andorians but more so. If Ocampas had reproduce only once, then it only stands to reason that they would either birth multiples, or lay eggs of some sort. (I'm thinking sort of like a frog spawn mass)



Edit: And yes, as with many many many other things, I've already put more thought into it than the writers.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
A giant dicked gorilla

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Chomp8645 posted:

And what you fail to understand is I'm dragging MINES.

I'm glad you said this. I started watching Galaxy Quest again tonight. (the best ST movie) ((after wrath of Khan))

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Big Mean Jerk posted:

Avery Brooks is a serious professional who likes to gently caress with interviewers and pretend to be aloof. He's not nuts.

" Lol guys im just pretending to be retarded"

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
Woodograms

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

An Ounce of Gold posted:

Here's my take on Archer: He's only good when he's a dick. When he's off the handle breaking rules and putting everyone in jeopardy Scott Bakula is doing some solid acting. Any other time his bland boyish "gee-whiz" line delivery makes him sound like he should have been cast as Chef (who, if I recall correctly, we saw his feet once).

Give you three guesses who you can blame for that

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Even a....? :stare:

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Neddy Seagoon posted:

That one was their 30th anniversary episode and could've been interesting if it was centered on Sulu's ship instead of Voyager for most of the runtime. George Takei's also completely wasted, as he's used as background scenery instead of anything relevant to the plot.

DS9 did Trials and Tribbleations.

I read that as he was used as background scenery BECAUSE he was wasted.

But no.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Neddy Seagoon posted:

That's Enterprise, and it was Trip Tucker.

Kim did hook up and got a Space STD.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit
While I don't really blame him for not wanting to get down with a Klingon, I'm still gonna mock him for it.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

I really can't comment on how good or bad the actors that play Tom and Be'Lanna are in other roles, but it's hardly their fault in Voyager. Berman would continually coach them " Less emotion".
\What I am saying is, Rick Bermen is cancer.



SPACE CANCER

Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Cobweb Heart posted:

Kes says her race is supposed to go through their version of puberty around 4-5 and she's one. So even though Kes' race is naturally very short-lived - that's fair enough, I can accept alien brains developing to human adult levels fast - she still enters sexual maturity early? Freakishly early, like the equivalent of a human 6 year old. I'm sure it's been said a lot but man, no wonder this show mysteriously resonates with pedophiles. IM ONLY ONE AND I NEEED TO HAVE A BABY NOW. Urrrrgh!! At least Neelix is trying to get out of it due to being a deadbeat.

Wait, Tuvok just made him turn his thoughts around. Then he gets scared thinking about maybe getting a daughter and Tuvok grills him about it. I really like Tuvok, he's got his head on pretty straight.

This episode is hosed up as hell. And on that note who was it said somebody on Trek was putting in a foot fetish?

No, it isn't that they hit puberty at 4-5, it's more that they only having a shot at getting pregnant during this window of time.
The uh, whatever rays from that cloud was all freaking out her hormones and kick starting the process. I'm not going to speculate on the sexual capability before this period, however, because that would be weird.



Ya'll getting really creepy with this whole business

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Johnny Aztec
Jan 30, 2005

by Hand Knit

Cobweb Heart posted:

They're incapable of having a baby before then, then can have a baby for a period of time. It's puberty dude. Kes calls it her time of change and Janeway immediately says "so it's like puberty". any further distinction brings us to the point of "technically Ocampan elogium in females involves processes comparable to our pubertal and menopausal phases" at which point, c'mon.

That's fair enough about the hormone inducing cloud rays, at least there's a reason it happened and she's not just weird.

I would compare it more to ovulation than puberty.
No primary or secondary chararistic changes occur, well that.....


You know what, we've put more thought into this than the writers did for the entire series.

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