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That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Hello. There was a WWE show today. New Day came out and were making a muck of things as they are want to do, and then who should come out but Enzo and Cass. Enzo and Cass muck around a bit, and they say Francesca spent the night with them in New Orleans, which was where the show was. They had some comical banter and then the Vaudevillains came out. They said some things, and what really gets me is they're sticking to this bygone era thing. It's like, the gimmick's already wacky, why not have them think they're really from then, right? Jeez. Anyway, Luke and Gallows come out and a brawl happens. I think Luke Gallows got the pin.

I went out then but don't worry - i just watched the middle part. The Shield came out for Ambrose Asylum and Seth lured you in for the ol' face turn with some good things said about the Shield but then he said they stunk. Dean Ambrose was pretty cool in this segment as well, and I thought it was overall good. Roman seemed to even say things okay, but he loving sucks so whatever, gently caress that guy.

I don't remember anything else until Lucha Dragons vs. ADR and Owens, Owens won. Then all the MITB guys came out and mucked around for a bit, and Jericho took down the MITB. Anyway, no one else did this. I'm sorry if it is bad. HAve a great day. Take it down if a better one is posted.

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Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



It's not a good thread.

It's not a bad thread.

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
To continue a thought from the Raw thread jobbing out Charlotte in 3 minutes while Champ was a smart idea AND with little to no offence.

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!
It is a thread worthy of tonight's Raw.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~


Its not a good DICK, its not a bad DICK, its That DICK.

SomeMathGuy
Oct 4, 2014

The people were ASTONISHED at his doctrine.

Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens should replace JBL and Byron as color commentary, and Roman should only be allowed to cut promos in the context of Shield reunions because that's apparently the only context in which he doesn't suck at it. Jericho's billing should be permanently changed to Stupid Idiotville. These are my hot takes.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

rovert posted:

To continue a thought from the Raw thread jobbing out Charlotte in 3 minutes while Champ was a smart idea AND with little to no offence.

Divas Revolution happened, shut up everything is great

StarkRavingMad
Sep 27, 2001


Yams Fan
I was watching E3 stuff and totally forgot raw was on

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

whats up with vidja games, friend?

4 inch cut no femmes
May 31, 2011

That DICK! posted:

Hello. There was a WWE show today. New Day came out and were making a muck of things as they are want to do, and then who should come out but Enzo and Cass. Enzo and Cass muck around a bit, and they say Francesca spent the night with them in New Orleans, which was where the show was. They had some comical banter and then the Vaudevillains came out. They said some things, and what really gets me is they're sticking to this bygone era thing. It's like, the gimmick's already wacky, why not have them think they're really from then, right? Jeez. Anyway, Luke and Gallows come out and a brawl happens. I think Luke Gallows got the pin.

I went out then but don't worry - i just watched the middle part. The Shield came out for Ambrose Asylum and Seth lured you in for the ol' face turn with some good things said about the Shield but then he said they stunk. Dean Ambrose was pretty cool in this segment as well, and I thought it was overall good. Roman seemed to even say things okay, but he loving sucks so whatever, gently caress that guy.

I don't remember anything else until Lucha Dragons vs. ADR and Owens, Owens won. Then all the MITB guys came out and mucked around for a bit, and Jericho took down the MITB. Anyway, no one else did this. I'm sorry if it is bad. HAve a great day. Take it down if a better one is posted.



Harper???

StarkRavingMad
Sep 27, 2001


Yams Fan

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

whats up with vidja games, friend?

There are some games

Some might be good!

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
Re-posting from the Raw thread:

VJeff posted:

I've watched it like four times and I still have no idea how Sami and Cesaro pulled off that finish. Push them both to the loving moon.


rovert posted:

To continue a thought from the Raw thread jobbing out Charlotte in 3 minutes while Champ was a smart idea AND with little to no offence.

Charlotte's being booked as a completely incompetent champ for months now at this point I assume she's filling time until Asuka shows up to kick everybody in the women's division in the face many times and then becomes the first Paul Heyman Gal and he cuts promos for her and then I wake up.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat
Did you guys see Kane?

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

I heard RDR 2 is happening. I hope it's 3 protagonists again and it, too, mirrors The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.

SomeMathGuy
Oct 4, 2014

The people were ASTONISHED at his doctrine.

BROCK LESBIAN posted:

Did you guys see Kane?

There was Kane. :unsmith:

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

StarkRavingMad posted:

There are some games

Some might be good!

sounds pretty dope, hell yeah

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
I've had one of the worst two week spans I can ever remember. I however am holding out hope that MITB will be good. I'm really starting to think Dean will win and cash in on Roman, though I am curious, if he cashes in on Seth as the ultimate gently caress you, does that get a face pop? Almost certainly, right?

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I've had one of the worst two week spans I can ever remember. I however am holding out hope that MITB will be good. I'm really starting to think Dean will win and cash in on Roman, though I am curious, if he cashes in on Seth as the ultimate gently caress you, does that get a face pop? Almost certainly, right?

oh good I was curious if tonight's Ambrose asylum broke your optimism

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Dean Ambrose will end the main event of MITB with a double DQ and then be his wacky Dean self and say "Hey guys, don't worry, we'll just do it again at Summerslam! Except I'll be in it this time too" and he cashes in right there. But there's a PPV in between them and they love title matches at PPVs so maybe not

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I've had one of the worst two week spans I can ever remember. I however am holding out hope that MITB will be good. I'm really starting to think Dean will win and cash in on Roman, though I am curious, if he cashes in on Seth as the ultimate gently caress you, does that get a face pop? Almost certainly, right?

Yes, but that would require Seth to beat Roman, which he won't. It would also have Dean being Champion and a Face at the same time and thus above Roman in the pecking order, which will never happen.

I could perhaps, in the warm embrace of my fevered dreams, imagine a crazy, gumdrop fantasy world where Seth beat Roman by cheating, got cashed in by Ambrose, and Ambrose slowly turned heel over the course of a long, well-told story of resentment and power corrupting. As Roman tries to get his friend to face him in a fair fight and circumstantial interruptions eventually turn into active fight ducking, everything comes to a head at a major show, perhaps even Mania. Not only is that a story WWE could potentially accept because it does have Roman eventually being the Top Good Guy and regaining his belt and proving his superiority over his stablemate, but it does so by throwing some happiness to the fans and putting over another guy that they love as a star even if it ends up with him as the villain, possibly even making that turn palatable through the power of great storytelling. And its even a story they KNOW will be successful and work because it's just a role reversal of the story they just finished with Finn and Joe.

But because this is real life and not a fever dream gumdrop fantasy, Dean will heel turn in classic Russo fashion by surprise cheap shotting Roman, most likely with a low blow after a 25 minute match, and probably require two or three pin attempts and a roll-up plus tights to secure the pinfall on top of that, and then Dean will be a chickenshit champ who loses almost all his matches until Roman squashes him at Survivor Series.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
Man you guys suck I just got done saying I'm having a rough go of things, I need some hope.

Dicks. :smith:

Aye Doc
Jul 19, 2007



SamuraiFoochs posted:

Man you guys suck I just got done saying I'm having a rough go of things, I need some hope.

Dicks. :smith:

hasn't ambrose disappointed you in enough moments of need by now? let the big dog into your heart so that your pain will be soothed

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Man you guys suck I just got done saying I'm having a rough go of things, I need some hope.

Dicks. :smith:

I'm sorry Foochs, I'm actually going through a lot of personal stuff right now myself so I'm sympathetic. Trying to be funny on the interwebs is one of the only things keeping my spirits up and the best I can manage for WWE is gloomy pessimistic funny.

I bet MITB will be a fun PPV even if something dumb that I hate inevitably happens, so lets both watch and enjoy it this weekend buddy :unsmith:

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

No matter what the ending is AJ Styles vs. John Cena is a goddamn dream match and it's going to loving rule.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

No matter what the ending is AJ Styles vs. John Cena is a goddamn dream match and it's going to loving rule.

Yeah, it's gonna be great.

I meant what I said in the Raw thread, AJ has basically been the most interesting/fun part of Raw every single week since Wrestlemania. It's great.

SyntheticPolygon
Dec 20, 2013

Aye Doc posted:

hasn't ambrose disappointed you in enough moments of need by now? let the big dog into your heart so that your pain will be soothed

He won his last 2 ppv matches though. WWE is showing their confidence in him. He's got it this time, just you wait.

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

John Cena to enter BOLA, eliminate Cody Rhodes

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Man you guys suck I just got done saying I'm having a rough go of things, I need some hope.

Dicks. :smith:

I sympathize entirely, but at the same time, I feel like at this point it's more cruel to let you put your hope in the WWE's booking of Dean Ambrose again.

edit: also this raw was really boring and i can't believe it's a go-home show

keevo
Jun 16, 2011

:burger:WAKE UP:burger:
New Day segment was good!

Solus
May 31, 2011

Drongos.
You know what's great, The New Day dancing to Enzo and Cass' Theme.

keevo
Jun 16, 2011

:burger:WAKE UP:burger:
Seriously. Xavier's dead pan delivery was the best - https://streamable.com/73wx

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



keevo posted:

Seriously. Xavier's dead pan delivery was the best - https://streamable.com/73wx

Too beautiful for this world

ThePariah
Feb 10, 2014

SomeMathGuy posted:

There was Kane. :unsmith:

This OP has failed me, for it did not give me the good news about Kane.

Edit: Also, what's worth watching from this show? If anything.

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013




rovert posted:

To continue a thought from the Raw thread jobbing out Charlotte in 3 minutes while Champ was a smart idea AND with little to no offence.

Impossible, Charlotte offends you whenever she's onscreen.

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

No matter what the ending is AJ Styles vs. John Cena is a goddamn dream match and it's going to loving rule.

As if the ending is even remotely in doubt

Alan_Shore
Dec 2, 2004

Grozz Nuy posted:

As if the ending is even remotely in doubt

I do prefer it when I don't know who's going to win. Going into a Cena match, you know exactly what's going to happen. For this one I assume either Cena wins clean or the Club interferes and AJ wins, setting up the next matches where Cena wins again and again, setting AJ back months if not years #Wyatts

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



Grozz Nuy posted:

As if the ending is even remotely in doubt

I prefer to think of it in terms of "what cool spot is going to end it?"

I'm thinking Phenomenal Forearm attempt, caught, and then AA.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
This Raw had some very good segments, too many stupid McMahon clips though. I really like Shane, but he's already worn out his welcome with me. I was wondering where the Miz and Social Outcasts were, but forgot they were off shooting The Marine 5, along with Maryse and Naomi and one of the Wyatts.

I, for one, cannot wait for Hollywood Rowan.

That Dang Dad
Apr 23, 2003

Well I am
over-fucking-whelmed...
Young Orc
Is it a bad sign when the WWE Discussion thread isn't even to page two by the next morning?

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Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop

Anal Surgery posted:

Is it a bad sign when the WWE Discussion thread isn't even to page two by the next morning?

We've all seen this Raw before. What's left to talk about?

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