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The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

Booyah




Ultra Carp

Asexual gamers descend upon you to praise this game for supporting their cause with representation and won't shut up about it


Maybe sexuality toggles? Sliders? Konami codes?

Extremely unsexy starts to new pages?

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Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



Link and Fish Princess were so legendarily in love that people are still talking about it 100 years later, itís ok if you want to ignore that but itís literally text in the game.

Sea Lily
Aug 5, 2007

Everything changes, Pit.
Even gods.



Bust Rodd posted:

Link and Fish Princess were so legendarily in love that people are still talking about it 100 years later, it’s ok if you want to ignore that but it’s literally text in the game.

Do you think her ghost is cool with Link dating her little brother though

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004



Link was on his way towards getting the harem ending till Calamity Ganon hosed it all up.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



Sea Lily posted:

Do you think her ghost is cool with Link dating her little brother though

Without looking it up Iím quite sure someone has written this fan fiction already

Zore
Sep 21, 2010




Bust Rodd posted:

Link and Fish Princess were so legendarily in love that people are still talking about it 100 years later, itís ok if you want to ignore that but itís literally text in the game.

Well she was in love with him.

What we see from him is him awkwardly friendzoning the hell out of her while she's proposing marriage.

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002

Don't fuckle with Shuckle(s)

Like that other Shuckle, but far different.


ďLink fucksĒ is canon in most games.

Sea Lily
Aug 5, 2007

Everything changes, Pit.
Even gods.



The true endgame for this franchise is the Triforce polycule. ganon just needs to chill out and date link and zelda. they can run hyrule together it's fine. stop killing people for five drat minutes ganon, and just like, talk about your feelings a little

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

Booyah




Ultra Carp

It's time to make the divine beast with three backs

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002

Don't fuckle with Shuckle(s)

Like that other Shuckle, but far different.


RickRogers
Jun 21, 2020





Fuzz posted:

Hope about we have a game without sexuality in it and keep it that way? I mean, there's plenty of other games if you need your fix.

Spoilsport

Sarcastro
Dec 28, 2000
Elite member of the Grammar Nazi Squad that

Ogmius815 posted:

TFW you kill a Lynel for its hooves so you can upgrade your berserker set but the Lynel you kill doesnít drop any hooves :/.

Seriously bullshit. Every Lynel should drop exactly 4 hooves in addition to whatever else.

Amppelix
Aug 6, 2010



Fuzz posted:

Hope about we have a game without sexuality in it and keep it that way? I mean, there's plenty of other games if you need your fix.
no

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

We'll make diamonds from their ashes. Take them into battle with us.

Craft a Diamond Dog diamond?
Nah. ††Let's do it!




College Slice

BotW2 Link must comically manage simultaneous timed dating quests with all major supporting characters, while keeping each one unaware of the others

The Golux
Feb 18, 2017

Internet Cephalopod



Sarcastro posted:

Seriously bullshit. Every Lynel should drop exactly 4 hooves in addition to whatever else.

I assume the ones you can't pick up are ones that you, like, stabbed so much that they don't work anymore.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



The Golux posted:

I assume the ones you can't pick up are ones that you, like, stabbed so much that they don't work anymore.

ďOh gross itís got poop on it!Ē

PCjr sidecar
Jan 26, 2011

dude, you gotta end it on the rhyme



That Zelda isnít a Dark Souls dating sim is the thing thatís been holding it back from mainstream success.

Son of Sam-I-Am
Feb 12, 2002





SweetMercifulCrap! posted:

Link might be gay, I mean he did flinch in disgust/terror at the giant sex fairies kissing and groping him

Ah, the "gay if you don't want to be raped" take, thanks for that.

dbzfandiego
Sep 17, 2011


This series has been Link+Zelda OTP since its inception and I don't really see that changing much in the future

RickRogers
Jun 21, 2020





Is it worse because I, the player, keep sending him back to be physically assaulted? And I laugh?

Zore
Sep 21, 2010




One of the details I love in BotW is in Kass' subplot you learn a lot about how he was trained as a bard by a Sheikah who knew Link and Zelda at court back before the calamity. And what you learn is that that dude was in love with Zelda and so incredibly salty over the fact she was clearly in love with Link that he taught Kass a bunch of songs pining over it, calling Link an idiot meathead, and died alone.

Bongo Bill
Jan 17, 2012

From my point of view, the Jedi are evil. But what really is... evil?

In Skyward Sword, Link's motivation for most of the game is that Zelda disappeared when he was just about to get laid.

RickRogers
Jun 21, 2020





Yes yes, but surely one link can be gay/bi. We've had furry link already.

Super No Vacancy
Jul 26, 2012

yahallo


Bleck
Jan 7, 2014




Fuzz posted:

Hope about we have a game without sexuality in it and keep it that way? I mean, there's plenty of other games if you need your fix.

listen I'm trying my best to not be attracted to the big handsome fish man but I'm only human

Argue
Sep 29, 2005

I represent the Philippines

Captain Hygiene posted:

BotW2 Link must comically manage simultaneous timed dating quests with all major supporting characters, while keeping each one unaware of the others

There's a quest where you go on two dates at once, each at opposite ends of Hyrule, and you can't use Sheikah fast travel so you have to use multiple stasis launches over the course of the evening

Sea Lily
Aug 5, 2007

Everything changes, Pit.
Even gods.



Captain Hygiene posted:

BotW2 Link must comically manage simultaneous timed dating quests with all major supporting characters, while keeping each one unaware of the others

Finally, it's time to bring back the Four Sword

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

TURDS BOD



Argue posted:

There's a quest where you go on two dates at once, each at opposite ends of Hyrule, and you can't use Sheikah fast travel so you have to use multiple stasis launches over the course of the evening

And you have to keep switching back and forth between the right outfits!!!!!

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Loucks
May 21, 2007

It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.


But there still wonít be any sort of outfit selector or quick access option like for weapons or arrows or runes.

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