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SpaceAceJase
Nov 8, 2008

and you
have proved
to be...

a real shitty poster,
and a real james
Step 1: Get acclimatized to the fun wet stuff.
Step 2: Swim over to where the main anchor's rope is.
Step 3: Get a big breath of air.
Step 4: Using the anchor's rope, push myself underwater like 2 feet to start out, to get a sense of its effectiveness.
Step 5: Return to the surface using the anchor's rope.
Step 6: Put on my swimming goggles.
Step 7: Get another big breath of air.
Step 8: Using the anchor's rope, push myself underwater around 2 feet under.
Step 9: Get my first taste as to what things look like underwater with my own eyes.
Step 10: Return to the surface again.
Step 11: Rest a bit.
Step 12: Get another big breath of air.
Step 13: Try going 5 feet underwater and see how things are different, using the anchor's rope again.
Step 14: Return to the surface again.
Step 15: Rest a bit, again.
Step 16: Repeat steps 12 to 15, only going 7 feet underwater.
Step 17: Repeat step 16, only going 10 feet underwater.
Step 18: Repeat steps 14 and 15.
Step 19: Try doing a dive to 2 feet under without the use of the rope.
Step 20: Repeat for going 5 feet under.
Step 21: Repeat again for going 10 feet under.
Step 22: Cross out life wish list item number 3 (my third-most-wanted thing to do in my life) from the list.
Step 23: If I can handle it, go for 15 feet under.
Step 24: If I can handle it, go for 20 feet under, the very maximum I'm comfortable with.
Why am I so interested in going so far underwater? When I went to that spring in Florida, I saw the water having exceptional visibility and my friend is telling me that it gets really blue. I didn't get to see it as I couldn't get out into the deep area, let alone dive 10 feet under (my main goal) where I could see this for real.

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Butthead
May 31, 2011
What Pokeymons did you find?

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer
Cool

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Op I just held my breath for like 35 seconds straight, u a lil bitch

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

No warm ups or nothing

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009

Nap Ghost
how is your work on platform masters going?

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Don Tacorleone posted:

Op I just held my breath for like 35 seconds straight, u a lil bitch

You can do better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFnGhrC_3Gs

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
good for you

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Did you do a wee in the pool?

A CISHET SHITLORD
Sep 10, 2014

LOURDE OF THE SHITS
Pillbug
I do not understand this thread

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

Me swimming in pussy 41 bitches deep comfortably and relaxed: "OP is loving lame".

Rahu
Feb 14, 2009


let me just check my figures real quick here
Grimey Drawer
Is this the new Uli thread? I haven't kept up since he left youtube.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
something fucky with that reflection is this fake??!!

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer
I just drove to get coffee and cigarettes. It takes me (normally) 20 mins round trip. I just did it in 14.

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Why does your face look like you are doing a poo poo OP.

Dead Cosmonaut
Nov 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
free diving is not safe

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.
Hunh that seems like a shitload of work. Try putting rocks in your pocket for faster results.

Lolie
Jun 4, 2010

AUSGBS Thread Mum

Rahu posted:

Is this the new Uli thread? I haven't kept up since he left youtube.

He's been going on adventures and having a ball.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




A CISHET SHITLORD posted:

I do not understand this thread

it's about the OP swimming in water 41 feet deep comfortably and relaxed

Buck Turgidson
Feb 6, 2011

𓀬𓀠𓀟𓀡𓀢𓀣𓀤𓀥𓀞𓀬
Swimming is one of life's greatest pleasures. Godspeed OP.

Howard Beale
Feb 22, 2001

It's like this, Peanut
you're probably wondering how that puh got in the blue, well

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.
I swam in water several hundred feet deep, but I stayed up at the top.

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009

Nap Ghost
Pizzas don't have as much grease and fat as a burger does for volume, however, the cheese part is the section where it's especially strong. The bottom part of the pizza is the next part. To cut down on the fat here, simply place a slice onto a napkin and apply a little pressure to the bottom. To speed things up, pick the slice up and put it on the napkin. Then, take another napkin and apply some pressure on it. This'll not only speed the process up, but will reduce fat slightly more. With home-made pizzas, this doesn't work as well. Between burgers and pizzas, if they are pretty much your top favorites, then this trick will come in very handy for really reducing fat. Pizzas get probably 85-93% fat reduction, depending on what you order [triple cheese topping on a large pizza may be as high as 97% with this], and burgers get even 95-98% fat reduction. The only fat that would remain is the really small parts left over that are very hard to cut down on. You can continue the napkin applying process until almost nothing even comes up, even 1 ply thick, but that would take a very long time. With 1-ply thickness and barely showing anything, fat may be reduced by even 99% on both. Pizzas are an exception for tomato sauces and "chambers" where it is very hard to get to. These "chambers" include something like the cheese in a stuffed-crust pizza, like those from Pizza Hut. These have limited accessibility to removing the fat, so "beavery careful" on what you order. The pressure squeezes this up so it can be absorbed. You're not guarenteed to get rid of all of it [unless you can somehow get rid of all the fat molecules, seemingly impossible to do], but it helps to reduce it by huge numbers a lot!

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
water is not for humans you loving idiot

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot

"I'm 80 cardinal units above the seafloor!"

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Three-Phase posted:

"I'm 80 cardinal units above the seafloor!"

I'm not familiar with the metric system

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

That clean, clear Florida water, untouched by Man

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



skipped most of the steps to be honest op becuz i didn't need to read how u jacked a loogie in the deep while thinkingn of the sexy tummy gems of all your favourite troll dolls just tipping my hat to say hi hello and that i hope u remember the sunscreen

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
I hope you find a black pearl and befriend a devil fish.

chippy
Aug 16, 2006

OK I DON'T GET IT
I love the way he couldn't look any less relaxed or comfortable.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

this is me telling a story of the last time I went swimming

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9S41Kplsbs

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

Let's Gangstalk a Retarded Man!

Shaquin
May 12, 2007

satanic splash-back posted:

Let's Gangstalk a Retarded Man!

sounds fine for everyone else but I don't think you can stalk yourself

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



satanic splash-back posted:

Let's Gangstalk a Retarded Man!

ya we already all bought accounts

chippy
Aug 16, 2006

OK I DON'T GET IT

satanic splash-back posted:

Let's Gangstalk a Retarded Man!

It is kind of weird, but actually everyone who follows him on Facebook is super nice to him and recently some guys in particular (a couple of whom at least I think are goons) have been going out of their way to take him on trips and outings and things because he's been pretty depressed. I genuinely think it's broadened his horizons and had a positive impact on his life. It's certainly cheered him up.

Krypt-OOO-Nite!!
Oct 25, 2010
If your so relaxed whydo you looklukesomeones jizzed on your sandwich?

fibblins
Dec 21, 2007

party swan
Nick Smith, free diver

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

The Bananana posted:

I'm not familiar with the metric system

1metre = 4 and 3/5ths Flugals
10 metres = 9 and 2/3rds a Cup.

GORDON
Jan 1, 2006

by Fluffdaddy
I started my ten year old son scuba diving this year, and his max depth so far is 52 feet. Congrats in your bravery.

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Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
5


Haha, just a little Uli inside joke for ya

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