PallasAthene posted:

It's not the motorcycle, its having the right sunglasses to wear while riding it that make you cool. (Goes without saying that only nerds wear helmets.)

Profondo Rosso posted:

"must always think defensively" thats retarded lol. if every time you come across someone bigger or stronger than you analyzee ur escape routes and plan defensive maneuvers you got some serious problems.

CubanMissile posted:

Dudes really are scary though. Today I got a table tent thrown at my head by a probable rapist.

I was bartending and one of the servers had just gotten off and was sitting at the bar chatting with one of the customers. I gave the girl two shots and a beer and she was instantly on the floor. I imagine she had either been secretly drinking on shift, popping pills, or got roofied because she was no longer able to keep her head up and was talking nonsense.

The dude she was talking to keep asking to drive her home and eventually she was like "ooooookay". At this point I stepped in and told the guy another server was gonna take her home so don't worry about it. He got really defensive and just kept repeating "Why? I'm just being nice and doing her a favor!" and kept insisting he take her. Then I had to tell him "Listen man, there's no way in hell you're taking this girl anywhere. You're being way too insistent on taking someone you don't know home when she can barely talk. Leave or I call the cops." He pitched a fit about how he was just trying to be helpful and then threw a table tent at me on his way out the door.

DOOP posted:

Tell that to my co-workers

Troposphere posted:

please do not gently caress birds

mind the walrus posted:

Where do Emus fit in on your "bird fuckability" scale?

Don Tacorleone posted:

I'm not joking I would legit be offended, rape would never cross my mind and I would be doing a nice thing walking a drunk home, and then to be accused of being a rapist

Decebal posted:

That RapeX condom seems like a good idea for the ladies that think "possible rape?" every time they see a dude. Those spikes look nasty as hell !

Professor Shark posted:

Is this the same woman who would bring you beer? I hope not


I hate that guy. I dated a girl and her best guy friend was apparently always telling her that he didn't see us lasting for various reasons, then one night when my girlfriend and her friend were getting ready for the bar he and I were stuck in a room together and he told me he just didn't think girlfriend and I were right for each other and she'd always told him that I was a really good friend until the day he found out we were dating.

Anyway, a while after she and I broke up they started dating and living together. After a night out they got home and she was barfing and hosed up. He wanted sex and she said no, she woke up the next morning to find out he had raped her while she was passed out

Nice Guys!

Moridin920 posted:

I think that poo poo is no more or less common than it always has been, you just hear about it easily now bc the internet and modern technology.

It's not like the Marquis de Sade was the first weirdo to ever exist and I'm pretty sure bondage is as old as rope and cured leather.

Bubblyblubber posted:

Yeah, but you can't eat your own booty like groceries, can you?

Like some sort of sexy butt ouroboros?

...can you?

ahrehrejhejajaj posted:

still raging about the native pussy stank on the subway that was my scent for the 2001 or 02 spring season

Moridin920 posted:

lol gently caress you, rear end in a top hat

don't project your poo poo onto half the population

Mr. 47 posted:

Oh my god you loving goons.

Pick posted:

It is worth going on to a website that sells high-end women's vibrators. They are never as big as men expect. It is extremely uncommon to find a truly high-quality vibrator with and insertable length of over 6 inches. Most are from 3 inches to 5 inches. Even if your penis is very small, just get a vibrating cock ring. Trust and communication, and the vibrating cock ring, are the real important dimensions.

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

Kurtofan posted:

I know people who say feminazi irl

Mr. Belding posted:

She's a killer writer, but yes.

Groovelord Neato posted:

because people like to be overtly racist on fbook without realizing it i saw someone posted an image macro with al capone on the left and a black kid on the right. the kid has baggy, low riding jeans. so on the left with capone they talked about how he was stylish and respected his mother and if he said he'd get you he would. on the right it said kid didn't know how to dress, disrespected his mother, and was all talk. so racist you're lionizing a semi-literate thug who only started dressing nice because that's how the movies portrayed the mafia.

red19fire posted:

And in the late 90's everyone in NJ claimed to be related to a 'made guy' and randomly inserted pidgin Italian words into sentences.

The Saurus posted:

o poo poo they had nice guys too:





And More Chads




Pretty amazing to see the exact same poo poo going on thousands of years ago. Nothing is new.

Pick posted:

I got my cat from a woman whose husband forbade her to keep it. The cat preceded her relationship. Dude was a jerk.