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My only dealbreaker is if I make a girl watch Better off Dead and she doesn't agree with my reading that everything in that movie actually happened to Lane Meyer and none of it is in his head or a metaphor
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Aug 19, 2016 16:58
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For real though I do fear living with a partner because I eat like a child most of the time and drink almost constantly. If I could put liquor in a baby bottle without dissolving the plastic nipple I probably would just do that
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Aug 19, 2016 17:16
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generative grammer posted:
I dated a girl who absolutely would not drink water and couldn't understand why she had severe kidney problems all the time. She also believed in the whole vaccines causing autism thing so I pulled that ripcord pretty hard.
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Aug 19, 2016 18:05
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Aug 24, 2016 17:04
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Women I date say I'm smart, funny, cool, rich, handsome, big dick, master of sports (and other activities  ), but they never really say what's really important, that I am God and could wipe out all of humankind if I wanted to
house of the dad fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Aug 24, 2016 |
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Aug 24, 2016 21:16
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Every time I pull down my pants and show my dick to a new girl she always says "spicy!!" Every single time. The pants come down and my ding dong flops out and she says "spicy!!" This happens every. single. time
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Aug 25, 2016 00:47
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I shower twice in a day if I'm going on a date. Once to get clean before work and then once to get the blood off haha. I'm a murderer!! hahaha
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Aug 25, 2016 17:58
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I'm lucky to get a solid 2 bangs per year
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Aug 25, 2016 19:04
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how me a frog posted:I am amazed how threads mocking sad and pathetic delusional people invariably become some queer embarassment black market where goons readily outdo the original subject matter, whore for attention or regale nobody in particular with the details of mundane experiences they claim to have made. Look man, it's been a dream of mine since I started reading this site to get my dick sucked by a goon and if you have a better idea of how to make that happen then for the love of god let's hear it because it's been 11 years at this point
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Aug 25, 2016 20:50
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Ratjaculation posted:It's me, btw, I'm the goonfucker Hello
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Aug 25, 2016 21:33
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The Snoo posted:I love having a husband to spoon and/or spoon me at night instead of a pillow/sex toy combo Sorry but if you haven't humped a pillow of Light Yagami the teenaged serial killer from Death Note to completion then I'm afraid you haven't really lived life
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Aug 26, 2016 23:26
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Shockingly the majority of humankind still manages to gently caress and procreate despite not being in the upper 10% of attractiveness. It usually involves finding the right people for you and not keeping a journal where you categorize everyday occurrences based on which rendition of Doctor Who it would have happened to
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Aug 27, 2016 17:12
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I'm a beta girl in an alpha world. I'm a spastic, it's fantastic. You can call me Dare I'll carry printers anywhere-ere-ere
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Aug 27, 2016 17:32
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This girl I've been on a few dates with said I'm "such a gentleman" yesterday. Am I getting reverse nice guyed. Is she going to buy me a hat
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Aug 29, 2016 17:11
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Rondette posted:Have this thing I made ages ago thread Look at all them white dudes 
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Aug 29, 2016 18:10
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Someday a white man is going to blow up the moon and I'll say "I knew this was going to happen"
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Aug 29, 2016 18:34
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I'm a 1 in the streets and a 7 in the sheets.
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Aug 29, 2016 18:48
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World of warcraft expansion came out today so I'm forecasting a brief decline in nice guy activity across the tri-state region
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Aug 30, 2016 16:00
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I just check the teeth of my dates like I'm inspecting a show dog but other than that I'm good to go with just about anything
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Aug 31, 2016 00:27
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Fetishizing amputees: not cool. Fetishizing someone for looking like a llama: ???
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Aug 31, 2016 00:43
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYpwEYFRrEQ
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Aug 31, 2016 00:46
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I eye gently caress all the time but I think the girl at the 7-11 likes it. Hard to tell with the lazy eye though
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Aug 31, 2016 16:11
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Cthulu Carl posted:There was also a girl on another high school band trip who spent the time kinda sorta flirting with me then convinced me to buy a fedora. It'd be kind of cute if the fedora was a thing girls used to mark their boyfriends to show they're off the market. Instead now it just shows you're single and also off the market
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Aug 31, 2016 17:45
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At first it seems like nobody is going to move, but then, hesitantly, one man rises to his feet. "I'm Retardacus!!!" He shouts. Soon another follows. "I'm Retardacus!!!" Then another. "I'm Retardacus!!!" Moridin looks on upon his people, moved to tears. Some guy is shouting something about how he doesn't even LOOK at the barista
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Aug 31, 2016 18:47
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They hired a new receptionist at work and now I take the long way to the bathroom because she's cute and I don't want to have to think every time I walk by her "she knows. She knows what I'm about to do."
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Sep 1, 2016 15:09
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I think she's into me though?? I can feel her eyeballs on my butt when I walk by. I'm thinking about leaving a single rose on her desk when she's at lunch and if she puts it in a glass to keep it alive then I will take things to Phase 2
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Sep 1, 2016 15:45
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I also just started lifting weights again and when I'm huge in two weeks and the girls in all their accumulated shallowness and chads look up and shout "gently caress us" I'll look down and whisper "maybe"
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Sep 1, 2016 16:36
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Just remember, I'm not trapped on this elevator with you, you're trapped on this elevator with ME *hammers emergency stop button*
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Sep 1, 2016 16:37
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mrwuss posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhLcn5tirGM I don't think it's nice to judge people based on the richter scale.
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Sep 7, 2016 00:16
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I live down in the Abyss, where the light does not shine and I do not gently caress.
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Sep 7, 2016 15:32
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I thought you get expelled from incel for loving and having children, but maybe I don't understand what true involuntary celibacy is
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Sep 7, 2016 15:56
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Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston broke up. This would be great news for me if I wasn't incel as gently caress
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Sep 7, 2016 16:59
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I have realistic standards of who I should be able to sleep with as a fat lazy nerd with no social graces, and that answer is the one and only Emily Blunt
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Sep 7, 2016 18:04
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I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member, and I wouldn't want to gently caress any woman who would have me as a partner
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Sep 7, 2016 18:15
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Well, looks like it's time for me to friend zone this thread. I'll return when I'm lonely and crave attention
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Sep 9, 2016 18:24
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I had a first date last week where the girl brought her dog. Dog was great and she was terrible.
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Sep 15, 2016 15:07
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 08:03 |
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I've got a tinder date in an hour. Quickly, how do I act like a normal person and not someone who views every woman like the last lifeboat off the Titanic that is my life
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Sep 21, 2016 00:41
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