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 ------------------------------  WWE Universal Championship Match Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor WWE World Championship Match Dean Ambrose © vs. Dolph Ziggler The Brock Match Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar WWE Women's Championship Match Sasha Banks © vs. Charlotte ------------------------------ I WAS ABOUT 40 MINUTES LATE FOR RAW. THE FIRST PART OF THIS REPORT IS ALL TAKEN FROM THE F4W REPORT. Sasha Banks started the show with an in-ring interview. She got a "You deserve it" chant. She said it was about time Raw popped off with a statement, a bank statement from the new WWE Women's Champion. She talked about her match with Bailey at NXT Takeover at WrestleMania weekend in Brooklyn, how they stole the show. Charlotte came out. She nearly tripped over her long robe on the ring steps. Crowd chanted "You tapped out" at her. Banks talked about how Charlotte looked different and couldn't figure out why, then sarcastically said she has Charlotte's gold. Banks wondered where Dana Brooke was. Charlotte said she didn't need Brooke or her father to beat Banks. She vowed to beat Banks at SummerSlam by herself. Charlotte said she was the very best for over 300 days and Banks capitalized on one mistake. She said it's one thing to take home the prom king, it's another to get him to put a ring on your finger. She said Banks was just a one night stand. Banks reminded Charlotte she was the daughter of Ric Flair and if it wasn't for a one-night stand, Charlotte wouldn't be standing here. At this point, Chris Jericho walked out, saying "quiet" repeatedly. He's got a new villain style mustache and goatee. Jericho called Banks an "ungrateful, disrespectful little punk." Jericho said Charlotte was royalty and looked like a princess. Jericho said Charlotte may be Flair's daughter, but he's surpassed anything that her father has ever done. Jericho asked Banks what makes her the boss. Jericho said she was only the boss of purple haired stupid idiots. Or that she was a distant relative of Snoop Dogg. Jericho said she wasn't a boss, she was a brat. Enzo Amore came out. Amore kissed Banks hand. He said Big Cass is usually by his side, but sometimes he likes to handle his business by himself. Amore said he'd like to make a Certified G deposit with Banks, "How you doin?" Banks and Amorelooked smitten with each other. Charlotte said Sasha should go for it because she's heard about Amore's love life, there's only one word to describe him. Amore said listening to Jericho speak, time passes like a kidney stone. It's like having a text converstation on iPhone and you wait for those three buttons flash waiting for them to respond, but they never do. Jericho called Amore a "hip hop hobbit" and said he better watch it. Amore said "Watch what?" Jericho said "It." Amore said for him to watch his mouth before he speaks is like wiping his rear end before he poops. He called Jericho Bon Jovi and dropped several Bon Jovi song titles. Finally, Mick Foley showed up and said he may not be THE boss, but he is Jericho's boss. He said Amore is a certified G and he is a GM. Foley said he can't wait to see Charlotte and Banks in the ring again, and it would happen tonight. He arranged a mixed tag team match between Jericho/Charlotte vs. Banks and Amore immediately. Charlotte & Chris Jericho defeated Sasha Banks and Enzo Amore (9:57) Charlotte pinned Banks after Natural Selection following a distraction by Brooke. Banks slapped Jericho before the finish. Highlight was Banks and Amore doing stereo topes on the heels before a commercial. Kevin Owens was on commentary. First thing he did was steal Byron Saxton's tie and draped it on himself. When Banks used a double kneedrop onto Charlotte's abdomen, Banks called it a great move he started using on the indys in 2005. Postmatch, Jericho gave Amore a codebreaker. Big Cass came out to confront Jericho, who walked off. Saxton did a prematch interview with this week's Braun Strowman's squash victim, Evan Anderhold. When asked why he would get in the ring with Strowman, he said he gets $1,000 for showing up and $5,000 for winning. Saxton said Anderhold would have had a better chance playing the powerball lottery. Braun Strowman defeated Evan Anderhold (1:01) Strowman pinned Anderhold, who tried to run away at the opening bell, with the I SHOWED UP AND THIS IS MY REPORT NOW Steph & Foley are bantering in the back. Mark Henry shows up and says he's so excited about the new era. Says it's time to bring back the Hall of Pain but Steph cuts him off and thinks he'd be better off as a mentor. Mark disagrees. Foley immediately books him in a United States Title match against Rusev. Mark says he's bringing the title home - BECAUSE THAT WHAT HE DO. R-Truth & Goldust are playing Pokemon Go backstage - but they have a match coming up! "The Golden Truth have a match next but as you can see Truth is still obsessed with Pokemon GO!", Cole says as they head towards the ring to face THE SHINING STARS. Tag Team Match The Shining Stars defeat The Golden Truth via Pinfall (Rollup) [2:00] This entire segment was just so commentary could banter about Pokemon GO! being ridiculous. Commentary talks about nothing else. Truth plays the game during the tag match. "He got one!" says Cole. Goldust tries to make the tag but Truth had to walk away to catch a Pokemon. Goldust tried to make a tag again - but Truth dropped his phone so went to retrieve it instead of tagging his partner. Goldust got pinned. Truth continued to play Pokemon Go. "This is one of the strangest things I've EVER seen", says Michael Cole. American Alpha debut tomorrow night! Cole is in the ring and introduces Finn Balor. He talks about Finns stellar debut. Gives Finn the mic but he only gets 18 words in before he is cut off by Seth Rollins theme. Rollins tells Cole to hit the bricks. Rollins laughs off all of Finns accomplishments and laughs at the mere IDEA that Finn could beat him. Banter back and forth. Seth talking about how he's the man. Finn implying things were handed to Seth. Seth saying nothing was handed to him. They fight. Seth gets sent packing when Balor hits him with his wacky Pele Kick. WWE United States Championship Match Rusev defeats Mark Henry via Submission (Accolade) [6:33 - 3:30 Televised] Rusev immediately cuts a promo on the lack of American Heroes. The only reason they win at the Olympics is because they're rigged. Felt like a perfect opportunity to have Kurt Angle come out - but instead it was Roman Reigns. Roman got in Rusevs face and would not let Rusev leave. They fight. Rusev gets sent packing. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS COLLIDE Titus O'Neil defeats Darren Young via Pinfall (Schoolboy) [3:57] Titus cheated! He pulled the trunks! Stephanie McMahon and Foley are Backstage. Steph is explaining a tablet to him. Sheamus shows up and does not understand what is going on. He wants to know why Mark Henry just got a title match instead of him. Cesaro shows up and argues with Sheamus about why. Foley said Cesaro was a top 5 pick until he saw his MEDICAL REPORT and his SHOULDER is a BIG QUESTIONMARK. He then booked both of them in a singles match and whoever wins would get a "future title match". BOB YELLED AT TITUS BACKSTAGE. "YOU CHEATED. YOU CHEATING LIAR!!!" Titus threatened to KNOCK HIS OLD rear end OUT. Darren Young sucker punched Titus from behind, and Bob dragged Darren away as the segment ended. WOMENS WIMPY MATCH Nia Jax defeats Aerial Monroe via Pinfall (Looked kind of like a wasteland???) [1:10] Nia Jax knees her opponent after the match. Tag Team Match The New Day defeat The Club via Pinfall (Schoolboy) [1:19] After the match Gallows & Anderson destroy The New Day. #1 Contenders For A Random Championship Match Cesaro defeats Sheamus via Pinfall (Neutralizer) [5:55] When we come back from commercial, Sheamus and Cesaro are both being dragged apart by security. HEATH SLATER SHOWS UP WITH JINDER MAHAL. Foley comes out and books Jinder vs. Slater. Winner gets a contract. BATTLE OF THE BANDS Jinder Mahal defeats Heath Slater via Pinfall (Big Boot) [0:15] Promo backstage with Chris Jericho. He was yellin about Enzo & Big Cass. He said they better watch out because someone has his back. Tom said "who?". Jericho made up a name. Jimmen Marvin Luter??? Kevin Owens showed up and said that name was completely made up - but it's OK because he has Jerichos back. Jericho then said "JUST LIKE I SAID TIM, KEVIN OWENS HAS MY BACK". Tom replied "it's Tom". Jericho yelled "IT'S TIM. YOU STUPID IDIOT". Main Event Seth Rollins defeated Sami Zayn via Pinfall (Pedigree) [11:31 - 7:43 Televised] Paul Heyman out. Introduces BROCK LESNAR. Exactly what you'd expect him to say. Just as he was yelling about how Brock would NEVER get hit with an RKO - TUESDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWNS RANDY ORTON appeared and RKO'd him. Security came out to get rid of him - but Orton bailed into the Crowd and released the doves to end the show. ------------------------------ OTHER NEWS: Lilian Garcia is no longer traveling with the company: "I’ve been getting a lot of tweets and messages asking where I have been and if I’m coming back to WWE, so I wanted to let you know what has been going on and why I have been silent. I've been through so many emotions lately that they literally have kept me up at night. As most of you know, my father has been battling with two different types of cancer. He hasn’t been doing as well as we hoped, THEREFORE, I will not be traveling weekly with WWE any longer. I will be looking to take on work closer to where I live so that I don't have to be on the road weekly away from him. He truly needs me, and I need this time with him. I ask that you please continue prayers for my father and my family." HulkaMatt fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Aug 2, 2016 |
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Aug 2, 2016 04:08
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BROCK LESBIAN posted:I DEMAND FRUIT PENIS
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Aug 2, 2016 04:08
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Aug 2, 2016 04:08
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randy orton is cool
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Aug 2, 2016 04:09
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That loving sucked except for the end I'm going home
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Aug 2, 2016 04:10
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HulkaMatt posted:
 Good for her for making that decision. gently caress cancer.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:10
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Aug 2, 2016 04:11
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Missed the first hour or so, so the show breezed by.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:12
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Push Jimmin Marvinluder.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:12
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I quite enjoyed RAM this week.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:12
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The Summerslam card is shaping up to be pretty loving awesomequote:1. Finn Balor v. Seth Rollins (WWE Universal Championship)
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Aug 2, 2016 04:12
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why are people upset that raigns come out to be in a mid card feud and not a guy who is more or less a cripple? raigns is a mid carder now, i never been more happy with WWE in years.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:13
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Extremely hype for Roman/Rusev turning the US title into the Hossbelt
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Aug 2, 2016 04:13
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That Raw was good. Not as good as last week but that would've been REALLY difficult. The only thing I'm concerned about is the idea of Roman Reigns: US AND Universal Champion but I think that probably won't happen so yay.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:13
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Chris Jericho was amazing tonight, every time I feel like I'm starting to get tired of him he adjusts or adapts his character in some amazing way. Bragging to Youngboy Tom about having a mystery partner and then getting called out on it was hilarious.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:16
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Cyron posted:why are people upset that raigns come out to be in a mid card feud and not a guy who is more or less a cripple? raigns is a mid carder now, i never been more happy with WWE in years. I'm not upset about it - it was just a perfect set up for Kurt to come out. 20 years since the medal win, insulting americans in the olympics - it just fit.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:17
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What was the jesus that had to hurt is there a gif?
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Aug 2, 2016 04:18
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HulkaMatt posted:I'm not upset about it - it was just a perfect set up for Kurt to come out. 20 years since the medal win, insulting americans in the olympics - it just fit. Kurt is not coming back to wrestle in WWE ever. Also that Orton appearance was the one cool thing about that feud so far and anyone saying that devalued the brand split is a stupid idiot. If anything, refs, security, Steph, and Mick all losing their poo poo did more to solidify the brand split than anything so far. SamuraiFoochs fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Aug 2, 2016 |
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Aug 2, 2016 04:20
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Twisted Eye posted:What was the jesus that had to hurt is there a gif? Was it Sasha nearly pulling a Full Lita on us?
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Aug 2, 2016 04:23
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Alain Post posted:Extremely hype for Roman/Rusev turning the US title into the Hossbelt I agree, I am very hyped to see Roman trying to lift Rusev
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Aug 2, 2016 04:23
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i watched consecutive raws and enjoyed them, what is happening
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Aug 2, 2016 04:25
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Jackie D posted:i watched consecutive raws and enjoyed them, what is happening Much like the opening and logo, Raw has been reforged into the mighty RAM. All it cost was tonight never again being the night, but it's okay because you want more.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:27
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Twisted Eye posted:What was the jesus that had to hurt is there a gif? During Sami vs Seth (I think) there's a dude in the front row whooping it up when they're fighting outside. At one point somebody gets thrown into a barricade and he goes,"JESUS THAT HAD TO HURT!  "
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Aug 2, 2016 04:28
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romaine rams is finally dead
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Aug 2, 2016 04:29
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https://twitter.com/AustinUno4/status/760313308104851456 I love you Randy 
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Aug 2, 2016 04:32
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HOTLANTA MAN posted:That loving sucked except for the end I'm going home I feel sorry for you friend indeed. Maybe next time won't be as lovely.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:33
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That was a really boring rear end raw.
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Aug 2, 2016 04:36
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Aug 2, 2016 04:37
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I didn't give a poo poo at all about Lesnar v. Orton and then Randy did a cool thing and now I'm hype as gently caress for the build
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Aug 2, 2016 04:39
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on the bright side the dark main was utterly fantastic and i wish you all could have seen it
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Aug 2, 2016 04:38
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Professor Funk posted:I didn't give a poo poo at all about Lesnar v. Orton and then Randy did a cool thing and now I'm hype as gently caress for the build Same, I was about as negative as you can get on it but I forgot that psychotic babyface Orton can actually be kind of fun
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Aug 2, 2016 04:40
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HulkaMatt posted:I'm not upset about it - it was just a perfect set up for Kurt to come out. 20 years since the medal win, insulting americans in the olympics - it just fit. He also won it in the city that RAM was in tonight
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Aug 2, 2016 04:46
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rusev vs roman is going to be cool but I feel like rusev is the perfect opponent for Kurt angle's career ending crippling to come against and I'm very sad it will instead happen in some trashy indie fed in 18 months
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Aug 2, 2016 04:49
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Rusev's had a great push lately and I'm seriously hoping that this is another little burial for Roman To Hell: Redemption
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Aug 2, 2016 04:52
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Professor Funk posted:The Summerslam card is shaping up to be pretty loving awesome 1. NJPW v. ROH (WWE Universal Championship) 2. WWE v. CZW (WWE Championship) 3. Brock Lesnar v. Randy Orton 4. WWE v. NJPWROHTNA
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Aug 2, 2016 04:58
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I'm glad that this Raw distracted me long enough that I longer have the desire to personally break Bob Nutting's legs and face with a baseball bat. Raw was good regardless of that.
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Aug 2, 2016 05:03
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a LOT of dick jokes tonight. Like, a lot.
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Aug 2, 2016 05:06
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Professor Funk posted:I didn't give a poo poo at all about Lesnar v. Orton and then Randy did a cool thing and now I'm hype as gently caress for the build HE'S TAKIN HIS SHIRT OFF GET HIM OUTTA HERE
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Aug 2, 2016 05:06
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HOTLANTA MAN posted:on the bright side the dark main was utterly fantastic and i wish you all could have seen it What was it?
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Aug 2, 2016 05:13
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I hope this trend continues and everyone gets increasingly stupid fake cities named after them Bossburg Mizland Bootyville Hustleton Hughold Caer Corbin
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Aug 2, 2016 05:16
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