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Bill Barber
Aug 26, 2015

Hot Rope Guy

Lote posted:

I can't believe that the Eagles are home underdogs next week.
They're going to lose by 30.

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Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Elephanthead posted:

Picking the Patriots in reverse eliminator, feels good man!

:hfive:

NattyBo posted:

God help me I'm taking the dolphins in eliminator this week

Same, the Browns are just that bad and this is literally the only game I'd feel comfortable taking the Dolphins in

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Intruder posted:

:hfive:


Same, the Browns are just that bad and this is literally the only game I'd feel comfortable taking the Dolphins in

Brian Hoyer is going to rain down fire.

edit
Wait, who is even the Browns backup now?

duble edit:

Am I missing something, or is Cardinals at Bills not the best "sure thing" here? There's no way the Bills don't poo poo themselves, right?

Chichevache fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Sep 20, 2016

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me
^ agreed. Palmer and Johnson are going to shred the Bills

axeil posted:

Dude, have you seen the Steelers? I'm all aboard the hype train too but they're a legit Super Bowl contender.

Yeah, the steelers are probably one of the safer eliminator picks this week. The Eagles have looked great so far but Pittsburgh is a big step up from the Browns and Bears.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer
The Lions never win the easy games, guys. Never bet on them unless they are heavily favored to lose.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Intruder posted:

:hfive:


Same, the Browns are just that bad and this is literally the only game I'd feel comfortable taking the Dolphins in

I almost want to avoid this pick due to cosmic bloodbath potential.

Chilichimp fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Sep 20, 2016

Yodzilla
Apr 29, 2005

Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Intruder posted:

Yeah I learned the "Never bet for or against the Rams" rule long ago

I think there were three years in a row that the Rams screwed me week 1 in various Eliminators. gently caress the Rams.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

Chichevache posted:

Am I missing something, or is Cardinals at Bills not the best "sure thing" here? There's no way the Bills don't poo poo themselves, right?

All over the Cards this week. I don't trust the Dolphins to do anything but poo poo themselves

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Cardinals are travelling cross country to play a 1pm EST game.

Yeah, Buffalo is a mess, but that's not a pleasant road trip, and they did score a bunch of quick strike bombs against the Jets defense.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Kalli posted:

Cardinals are travelling cross country to play a 1pm EST game.

Yeah, Buffalo is a mess, but that's not a pleasant road trip, and they did score a bunch of quick strike bombs against the Jets defense.

Are there any statistics that back up this theory that traveling cross country fucks up a team?

Regardless, I think the spread on that game is criminal and if you're playing Spread Eliminator, lock that poo poo in now.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Kalli posted:

they did score a bunch of quick strike bombs against the Jets defense.

According to the Bills FO those don't count.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



WampaLord posted:

Are there any statistics that back up this theory that traveling cross country fucks up a team?

Regardless, I think the spread on that game is criminal and if you're playing Spread Eliminator, lock that poo poo in now.

There have been some studies, but I can't find any of the good ones, so have this one by some random gambling site: https://www.sportsinsights.com/blog/nfl-west-coast-teams-traveling-east/

At least as of a few years ago, they underperform against the spread.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Never save a sure thing for later
Never pick divisional games
Never pick for/against the Rams

Now if only I could follow my own advice

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

The Browns are starting Cody Kessler, I'm not particularly worried

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Who will have the worst day? Kessler or Brissett?

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Kessler. Brissett will inexplicably style all over the Texans before fading into mediocrity for the rest of his career and becoming the Browns starter in 2018

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
The Chargers will win this week because of Griff Whalen's intricate knowledge of the Colts' playbook

Ditch
Jul 29, 2003

Backdrop Hunger

WampaLord posted:

Surely the Cardinals are the safe pick this week. Don't let the spreads fool you.
Not sure how they're safer than, say, the Packers or Seahawks. Bills were 5-3 at home last year and are mostly the same team, despite two miserable offensive performances to start the year.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Ditch posted:

Not sure how they're safer than, say, the Packers or Seahawks. Bills were 5-3 at home last year and are mostly the same team, despite two miserable offensive performances to start the year.

Seahawks just lost to the Rams, Packers just lost to the Vikings.

This might just be might my dumb reasoning, but I'm also tied for 5th in Pickem with a record of 22-9, so my dumb reasoning has been working pretty well.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Ditch posted:

Not sure how they're safer than, say, the Packers or Seahawks. Bills were 5-3 at home last year and are mostly the same team, despite two miserable offensive performances to start the year.

It's very difficult to imagine a scenario where a mediocre team poses a threat to a (probable) Super Bowl contender, when that mediocre team is also one game removed from firing their offensive coordinator.

Maybe the Bills will grit it out against the Cardinals by executing a modified playbook and forcing the ball to an injured Sammy "not the best receiver in the draft, even though we gave up another first to go get him" Watkins. I doubt it, though. Bruce Arians is a very good coach and that team doesn't seem like the type to just drop a game against an outclassed opponent, unlike the Seattle Seahawks :argh:. Maybe if Shady breaks one or two big ones. Your defense will still have to keep Carson Palmer from going ham. And considering Ryan Fitzpatrick looked like 2015 Carson Palmer against you, that doesn't seem likely either.

WampaLord posted:

Seahawks just lost to the Rams, Packers just lost to the Vikings.

This might just be might my dumb reasoning, but I'm also tied for 5th in Pickem with a record of 22-9, so my dumb reasoning has been working pretty well.

The Seahawks are a miserable matchup for the Rams, and we have been for several seasons. I don't know what the gently caress went wrong for the Packers, but they look like poo.

The Cardinals are not the Packers, and are not poo. And the Bills definitely don't present any kind of matchup issues for the Cards that I can identify. Maybe firing Roman was a secret plan to get the Cardinals looking past this game?

Chichevache fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Sep 21, 2016

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

Madcosby posted:

Never save a sure thing for later
Never pick divisional games
Never pick for/against the Rams

4) Don't bet against New England

ColdBlooded
Jul 15, 2001

Ask me how to run a good team into the ground.
This might be one of the tougher survivor weeks ever, I'm still torn between picking Green Bay, Miami or Dallas. I'm not 100% sold on any of those picks

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

ColdBlooded posted:

This might be one of the tougher survivor weeks ever, I'm still torn between picking Green Bay, Miami or Dallas. I'm not 100% sold on any of those picks

Arizona is the answer

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007

ColdBlooded posted:

This might be one of the tougher survivor weeks ever, I'm still torn between picking Green Bay, Miami or Dallas. I'm not 100% sold on any of those picks

Miami. A bad Browns team starting Cody Kessler on the road.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Dango Bango posted:

Miami. A bad Browns team starting Cody Kessler on the road.

I could never feel comfortable betting on Miami to win.

Ross Angeles posted:

Arizona is the answer

That spread is criminal. The Bills are poo poo, and Arizona is real good, everyone just forgot about it cause of Belichick's pact with Satan.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
Adaz mentioned this in N/V, but how in the world are the Dolphins favored by 10 against an NFL team? I don't care if it's the Browns.

I am also not confident enough to bet against that but still.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Grittybeard posted:

Adaz mentioned this in N/V, but how in the world are the Dolphins favored by 10 against an NFL team? I don't care if it's the Browns.

I am also not confident enough to bet against that but still.

To inspire confidence

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Grittybeard posted:

Adaz mentioned this in N/V, but how in the world are the Dolphins favored by 10 against an NFL team? I don't care if it's the Browns.

I am also not confident enough to bet against that but still.

Because the Browns are starting a 3rd string QB.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Chichevache posted:

Because the Browns are starting a 3rd string QB.

The 1st and 2nd string were RGIII and a McCown, so I'm not sure how much worse this kid could actually be.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Chilichimp posted:

The 1st and 2nd string were RGIII and a McCown, so I'm not sure how much worse this kid could actually be.

Apparently enough that Hue Jackson started RG3 and McCown!

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Chichevache posted:

Apparently enough that Hue Jackson started RG3 and McCown!

I realize that is the obvious comeback, but understand something. Tim Tebow is available, and he's not the 3rd string. This guy is a marked upgrade to Timothy JC Tebow, but not better than RGIII or McCown.

He really can't be that much worse than the Browns have been already.

Expect Miami to commit to stop Isaiah Crowell and watch this kid make some improbable throws.

edit:

The Browns will still lose, none of this is relevant.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Chilichimp posted:

I realize that is the obvious comeback, but understand something. Tim Tebow is available, and he's not the 3rd string. This guy is a marked upgrade to Timothy JC Tebow, but not better than RGIII or McCown.

He really can't be that much worse than the Browns have been already.

Expect Miami to commit to stop Isaiah Crowell and watch this kid make some improbable throws.

edit:

The Browns will still lose, none of this is relevant.

Dude, I really think you're underestimating the quality difference between a veteran 1st rounder, even a broken one, and a rookie who was never even considered a serious prospect. The Dolphins have to be insanely bad for this game not to be terrible for Kessler.

Bill Barber
Aug 26, 2015

Hot Rope Guy

Chichevache posted:

Dude, I really think you're underestimating the quality difference between a veteran 1st rounder, even a broken one, and a rookie who was never even considered a serious prospect. The Dolphins have to be insanely bad for this game not to be terrible for Kessler.
The Dolphins are insanely bad, though.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
OMG Dolphins

edit: wrong thread

or perhaps, the right thread

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
Hmmm.... The Cardinals are trash?

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

Chichevache posted:

Hmmm.... The Cardinals are trash?

loving West to East effect

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

If the Dolphins and Cardinals lose, will this be the biggest bloodbath?

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Never bet on trash vs. trash games in the NFL.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

CaptainYesterday posted:

Never bet on trash vs. trash games in the NFL.

Cards are supposed to be good!

WampaLord posted:

If the Dolphins and Cardinals lose, will this be the biggest bloodbath?

Close enough

Chichevache fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Sep 25, 2016

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Ellipson
Sep 14, 2007

everything's cool

Ellipson posted:

The only rules for eliminator:

1) Never "save" teams because you'll go out trying to be cute

2) Bet against bad teams, not for teams you think are good. Good teams can have bad days, but the Browns (minus when they play the Bengals) are eternal

3) Never follow any of my advice, in football picks or in life

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