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JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
My contribution:

To tell this story properly I have to give a little background first. I am a female college student in my Senior year currently, but back when this happened to me I was a 14 yr old boy in my second year of middle school.

Like any 14 yr old I was fiercly independant and was always fighting with my parents about curfews and staying up late and stuff like that. One of the things we argued about was my tendicy to walk home from school instead of taking the bus or calling for a ride. My school wasnt that far away, only a couple of miles from my house, so I didnt see what the big deal of walking home was all about and I did it quite often. At least I used to before this happened.

I was hanging out with a couple of friends of mine shooting hoops one day after school and I missed the bus home. No problem I thought. I'll just walk home. Now, this was on a Friday and it was a weekend I was looking forwards to because my parents were going to be away the whole weekend and I was going to have fun playing video games on my xbox player and watching the latest horror movie laserdiscs on TV, you know the typical teenager stuff. So I said goodbye to my freinds, put on my headphones, and began walking.

It was usually a quiet, uneventful walk. There wasn't much traffic on that road and the houses were far back from the road so there was forest and woods mostly. I must have taken longer than I meant to with my friends because it was already starting to get dark. I was walking for about 15 minutes when I rounded a bend in the road and spotted a crumple of trash up ahead on my side of the street. Sometimes people dump trash along these roads so I thought nothing of it and continued walking. as I got closer I thought I noticed the trash crumple moving slightly but then again it could have been the wind so I thought nothing of it and continued walking. Now I was passing the trash crumple and saw that it was actually a man. He looked homeless and since homeless people are often found besides roads I thought nothing of it and continued my walk. Suddenly when I am almost past the man a dirty hand reaches out and tries to grab me! I skipped ahead of his grasp and looked back, the mans head was covered in rags and shadows but I could see the whites of his eyes which were full of hatred and menace. But since he was obviously homeless I just chalked it up to mental illness which is common among homeless people. I thought nothing of it and continued on my way.

10 minutes later I passed another homeless man who looked very similar to the first. He was on the other side of the road this time and seemed to be yelling and pointing at me and making stabbing motions and "throat slitting" motions. However it was nearly Halloween and I chalked it up to local teens playing a prank. I thought nothing of it and continued on.

When I finally arrived at my house I thought nothing of it when I saw the homeless man again, this time he was on the roof of our house dancing and waving what looked like a bloody machete around. The homeless often have to resort to handyman work to buy liquor or drugs so I assumed he was trying to get someone to hire him to do some roofing or whatever.

I went inside and microwaved a microwave hot pockets for dinner. Then I went into the living room and played video games on my xbox player until well after midnight, falling asleep right there on the couch. I awoke to the sound of glass breaking and a series of loud thumps followed by heavy footsteps. I assumed our cat had knocked something over and broken it so I thought nothing of it and went back to sleep.

I was awakened again to the sound of yelling and open my eyes to be staring into the crazy eyes of the homeless man from before. After a moment of confusion I tried to scream "get off me!" but I realized he had his filthy hands around my throat choking me. I couldnt breathe. I reached and tried to peel back his fingers but he was too strong. As I was blacking out I had the thought that he probly just wanted to rob my house so if I stop resisting he would most likely take what he wanted and leave so I thought nothing of it as my vision turned black.

When I awoke a few minutes later the homeless man was sawing my head off with the machete. It hurt pretty bad and when he had my head off he did sex acts to my corpse and stuck my head in the freezer. So much for my video games weekend...

A few weeks later the police stopped by and told us the man that had killed me actually escaped a mental care facility a few miles away and had gone on a rampage killing a total of 6 people in my neighborhood.

After that night I never felt safe walking by myself and always make sure to have pepper spray and a whistle. So, to the deranged homeless man who chopped of my head and defiled my dead body, lets not meet.

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JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

i thought nothing of it and continued posting.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Smash it Smash hit posted:

Hey jive honky I support you




GBs king :fyadride:

thanks man :respek:

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Serious Frolicking posted:

i posted "anime is good" in multiple threads and the same 3-4 guys went nuts every time

thats a good story just add in a homeless person you almost there

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Serious Frolicking posted:

i figure at least one of them was a homeless person at a library

the fetid stench assaulted my nostrils like the funk of 40,000 years. i thought nothing of it and continued my microficheing

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
dammit i forgot to include the phrase "I noped the gently caress out of there"

whatever nobody cares

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

donkey salami posted:

Could you go into more detail about the sexual acts with the corpse

Ms paint additions would also be appreciated

he gave me a "raspberry beret", a "stairway to heaven", "Ruptured Remains in a Doggybag" x2, and finished off with "Pyronecrobestiality"

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
I'm hoping this thread sticks around through october and collects lots of spooky stories!

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Doc Friday posted:

I'm gonna go print this thread and show it to everyone I know.

Thanks Doc! I cant wait to hear your spooky story

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

carrion kit posted:

dogmen are real, i saw one and it groweled at me... ! now i can't take the trash out at night ;_;

sounds like my ex-wife haha but seriously be careful out there

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
Can I get a Brit Goon to record my story and put it on youtube? tia

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
These stories are making me think I should think something of it...

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Luvcow posted:

the best way to stay alive is to ignore those gut feelings we have, thats how i lived so many years before i was brutally murdered by an escaped lunatic with a hook for a hand

Good lookin out, thanks luvcow.

Ill be posting more TRUE spooky stories soon, stories sent in by my subscribers that will cause your bones to curl up from fright!

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
It's okay guys. Cruising altitude thinks i'm the guy from Making a Murderer (available on Netflix enabled devices).

This is an honest mistake but that guy has a beard and kills cats whereas I have glasses and raise cats from the dead with my handy dandy portable pet cemetery.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

hth posted:

anome belongs in the trash

your face is an anime and your butt is a virtual pop star.

get spooked

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
At this point I was really scared. I slowly unziped my pants, reached in and gingerly pulled out my scroat... i stretched it slightly and turned it so I could see the underside. A cold chill went up my spine as my eyes looked at the horrible sight.

CAUTION: GRAPHIC INTENSIVE IMAGERY AHEAD

If you do not want to hear the gory description details fast forward to 13:32.

The underneath of my ball sack looked like heck, I gasped for breath as I saw what it looked like. Very gross and bad. It was not normal at all. where there had once been normal sac skin was now a nightmarish landscape of unspeakable terror. I yelled for Trevor.

"Trevor!" Trevor heard the panic in my voice and came running into the bathroom.

Trevor's eyes followed my eyes down to my crotch. "Oh gawd. Oh lordy lordy lordy."

Trevor backed out of the bathroom as quickly as he had entered. "I'm calling 911!" he yelled from the bedroom.

I dabbed at my scrotum with some tissue but it accomplished nothing.

I looked out the window and saw a creepy clown was watching me from outside, grinning maniacally. The evil clown was holding a large butchers knife and waving at me. I would have thought nothing of it but heres the thing:

Our apartment is on the 4th floor.

I never walked home alone after that again. So, to the creepy floating killer clown, lets not meet.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Gatekeeper posted:

my crepe pasty isn't stolen or a lie, it really happened to me and my awful family :(

I got really creeped out by your story gatekeeper, but remember this is a TRUE STORIES thread. okay?

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JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
Subscriber story from HotPony91:

I have been wanting to write this story down for a while now and share it but I am not the best writer so I'm pretty nonplussed to put this story into words. Anyways bear with me and I think you'll be happy and properly spooked out, I know I was because its real and it happened to me!

Firstly a little backstory on myself, I'm currently working as a private fitness trainer in Hollywood, CA and drive a Maserati Ghibli to my appointments. I am also dating a famous actress who I cant name but you guys would know who she was she is very hot and famous plus she lets me do butt stuff to her which is very important and makes her feel important as well.

But on to the story, this happened to me when I was about 19 yrs old. I was house sitting in Malibu at the time and it was the house of a famous movie director , dont get me wrong at this point I'm a very fit and tall guy, 6' 3" and was lifting weights like crazy and running on the beach every day. I was pretty much a golden skinned god and I had no trouble with the ladies getting them to notice me, I was a real head-turner aslo who knows 4 different kinds of martial arts. Not somebody you'd want to mess with and the events of that night terrified even me.

Anyways to continue with the story: I was getting snacky from swimming all day in the pool of the house I was house-sitting and I decided to take a quick jog down the hill to the nearby convenience market to get some loving granola bars or some poo poo like that. to snack on. It is dark out and the last of the sunrise was just setting over the cliffs. I get to the store and a cold sensation shivers up my spine as I enter the place. The indian fellow working the counter greets me friendly enough but I can tell... something just isnt right... you know the feeling i'm talking about its just something in your gut that says "danger". is nearby.

So i'm wandering around the store looking at the snacks when I see it. Outwardly it looked like an old lady wearing a burgundy shawl adjusting her reading glasses to better see the canned food she was holding, but I sensed something more, something ancient, something evil. The old woman thing looked up at me then, eyes as cold as ice staring into me, through me beyond me. I froze. waves of meanace radiated from this woman. I don't know how I found the courage, maybe there is something, some larger force than just what human knows about that watches over us and protects us from darker forces that would harm us. I broke her gaze and stumbled into the next aisle gasping for breath.

I forgot about getting a snack and just went outside. Thats where I met this slammin blonde beach bunny that was hanging out in her Fiat 500 in the parking lot. i told her i thought she was crazy hot and she liked the look of me so she gave me a lift back to the house and we hosed on every single surface. I'm talking bareback railing of the spoogetastic kind. She had a ridiculous body that seemed specially built for sex, and she know how to use it. We must have 69'd 69 times. I will never forget the three days we spent getting down and funky, spreading DNA all over that directors pad. I hope nobody ever gets murdered in that house because the pigs will be knocking down my door looking to gently caress me the way i was loving that blonde goddess. So, to the police investigating that future murder, lets not meet.

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