Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

Blackchamber posted:

The Marines on our deployment didn't do any cleaning of common areas. Watchstander's heads are usually combo locked. So if you got a phantom shitter it's almost always you

Suicide Watch posted:

Are phantom shitters just a way for the Navy to keep Marines busy with cleaning duty?

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

Paid for an a1c in my squadron to get her tits sucked off at vikings in guam. Ended up hitting on her at a bar later, but nothing much came of it. Invited her to my apartment a few weeks later, ended up loving on the balcony, couch, tub, and bed multiple times. She later got some bf she didn't want to cheat on. Admittedly, I was not the best Lt ever.

quote:

I totally dipped out of deployment to Iraq and it was the best years I spent in the Army.

After being posted a year in Korea running a three on three off fourteen hour nightshift mission for the year (subject to showing up during the day for whatever company formation) I was burnt out with medical problems I had ignored since AIT (having jeep drivers disease sucks when you have to pass PT tests in training, gently caress Huachuca and gently caress being stuck in TRADOC).

So I drop into Ft Riley with a pretty chill company that's got a deployment in Afghanistan coming up in months and they do a drat good job in integrating me in advance before heading out for training. I still had time to get surgery done at that point.

A week later I get yanked from the unit and sent to another company heading out for NTC immediately for a deployment in Iraq and the other guy in the section was the fucker roommate that stole hundreds of dollars of poo poo from me in AIT. I get surgery done while they are at NTC and basically get told to pack up for deployment once they got back when I've been high on pain meds and having been sequestrated in a housing area where they dumped officers and SNCOs that didn't/couldn't move their family for a temp posting.


Oh yeah, these barracks. A drug dealer shitbag enlisted across the hall that got busted to great fanfair and a bunch of LTs to Majors and E-5's and up. None of them ever cleaned a thing and there was no accountability for any of this poo poo in this barracks. No money was being spent on maintenance because they were rapidly tearing these buildings down with the nearest DFAC being a 3/4's mile away(yay asbestos).

Basically lived on the microwave poo poo the nearest PX stocked. Once the unit got back poo poo got loving toxic in the unit.

In the predeployment screening with doctors I bring up what was going on and where I was at and that lands me straight in front of the 1SG yelling at me for my mental infirmities. Not proud to admit it but I didn't have any reserves left and I broke down.

So I get placed on rear-d, with the rapists, criminals, molesters, and the physically hurt. Probably the best posting in my career. Get detached to post detail, show up seven days a week and put the flag up and take it down. Do some inventory, decent work I threw myself into. People around me don't harsh, they all got reasons for being here. CQ for multiple days a week, I had an entire setup with a widescreen that I could set up, rules permitting.

Christ, the Army is loving toxic. That 1SG literally got so fed up with things he started firing his weapon into the roof of the (gently caress I literally do not remember acronym for a controlled classification space, the drinking is working) and was not allowed to carry a weapon on the flight home. Because he used it to bully people in his unit.

The year they were gone was mostly zen bliss and depressing isolation, especially once shitbag AIT thief got a dishonorable because he stole my poo poo again. I had marked the serial numbers of the things the unit had shipped to Iraq when I wasn't going there (they had already made me ship things even after screening for being deployment green, they were kinda poo poo like that).

quote:

This is a story that was told to me by a family member who, alcoholism aside, I 100% believe.

Back in '67 my uncle was a Radio Op attached to some SF company in Vietnam. He was't SF or anything himself, but he would man the radio at the base they used and call in supply drops and poo poo for them. He did work with these SF guys who would set up ambush in the jungle, booby trap the VC's trails, do SAR work when a pilot got himself shot down, typical snake eater poo poo. Not sure if they were Green Berets or what, but part of their mission was to install listening devices near the Ho Chi Min Trail, so Army Intelligence could find out who was moving what kind of equipment and when. They could also get pick up pieces of conversations, stuff like "Hey Nyguen, what time are we ambushing those Marines?".

Anyway, on one patrol these guys find a hidden VC supply cache, SKS rifles and those Russian spam cans of ammo. Usually when they find stuff like this, they rig it with some Claymores so when the VC come back they get blown up with their stash.

One guy in the group had dysentery from the jungle water, and everyone else had been eating those old C-Rats they used to have. Turkey loaf, poo poo on a shingle and lima beans. Nasty, greasy poo poo that stank like a dead jungle rat. Instead of wiring it up with plastic explosive, they decided to rig it with some of their personal explosive. Every one of the patrol dropped trou and gave 'ol Victor Charlie a 21 brown note salute, then covered it back up and left.

A few weeks later, Uncle Jeff was reviewing some transcripts from the SIGINT on the Trail, and he reads a page about two NVA guys bitching about how some dumb VC peasants had poo poo all over their supply stash and they had to ask Hanoi for some new gear.

quote:

I've been reading the comment cards left by patients for years. It is absolutely not related to my duty in any way, shape or form but I did for my own clinic and many others.

Back in the day not everyone even had a comment card box and if a clinic did it would be something along the lines of a rinky dink cardboard box with a slit in the top that had "comment card box" written on the side. Dumping the cards out or pulling them out by hand was super easy obviously.

Eventually the hospital gave everyone this tall clear plastic bitch to put the cards in so now pretty much everyone hade one but no one locked them so it was easier than ever to just pop open the back and read to your hearts content. They wisened up though and started locking them and eventually lined the inside with paper so you couldn't see in as easily.

Fortunately for me though my department has access to biopsy forceps and we have a loose set in a training drawer so I would just grab that bad boy and use it to pull cards out.

I totally destroyed one that said I was rude or something dumb but omg the things people would complain about like saying how great the staff were and how well the procedure went but giving the place like a 1 or a 2 because the cheap toilet paper broke while they were wiping their rear end and got poo poo on their hand. Best one had to have been the chick who instead of filling out a comment card managed to write a saga that covered the entire front and half the back of a piece of printer paper about her struggles of just trying to get an appointment while her illness got worse and then being blown off for her first appointment and then the Dr being something like an hour late for the next and when she told him what was wrong he told her that wasn't what was wrong with her and started talking about some completly unrelated stuff and kept telling her to shut up until she ran out of the room and the hospital crying and no one stopping to ask what was wrong the whole way out.

If you are ever bored definetly read the Yelp reviews of military hospitals.

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

A few weeks later, Uncle Jeff was reviewing some transcripts from the SIGINT on the Trail, and he reads a page about two NVA guys bitching about how some dumb VC peasants had poo poo all over their supply stash and they had to ask Hanoi for some new gear.

Booblord Zagats posted:

Agreed. You're good people Wasabi. That said, I'm still gonna make brony creaks about you because I am bad people

quote:

I took a BibleStick box off the counter (courtesy of Pray FAST) 2 hours before my flight overseas, took the headphones out, and then threw the biblestick into the trash. I'm not religious at all but thanks for replacing the headphones that broke literally on the bus ride over to the terminal. God provides to those in need or whatever.


I also had a piece of chewing gum for breakfast and then stuck it to the underside of one of the holding pen benches as a way of saying thanks for breakfast.

quote:

On multiple occasions I have seen artillery safety officers overlook 100 mil errors or worse leading to A) Rounds almost landing on a highway that passes through base B) Rounds almost landing on OPs C) Rounds almost landing on other units in the training area. This went on more or less continuously for the entire time I was the safety officer's driver. They also tried to return dud rounds (with primer struck) to the ammo compound by having a private drive them to the ammo compound. This came a year after another private lost his hand because he was instructed to reach into the tube to retrieve a round that failed to fire.

These same officers were part of the 2 CMBG roto to Afghanistan (1-10) that lead to 2 RCHA being benched. The reason for an entire artillery regiment sitting out the war and local support being provided by fast air was because they made a serious of increasingly incompetent mistakes that brought them to the attention to, iirc the theatre commander. For instance, they did not account for the elevation differences between Ontario, Canada and Kandahar, Afghanistan. This lead to rounds landing on a farmer multiple kilometers away from the target. After this 2 Horse provided convoy security, directed traffic, and conducted foot patrols while firing nothing larger than a mortar.

Frosted Flake posted:

Most stressful situation of my military career was ending up in the elevator of the Army hospital with two women I was loving, who didn't know about the other one. I don't know how I made it out of that one, I had dreams about it.

Soulex posted:

I got to see two women I had been loving, who knew about each other, fight themselves in combatives. Partly because I have an affinity for short women and they were the shortest women.

Zeris posted:

I didn't know you taught middle school wrestling

Soulex posted:

I got to see two women I had been loving, who knew about each other, fight themselves in combatives. Partly because I have an affinity for short women and they were the shortest women.

Soulex posted:

I have an affinity for short women and they were the shortest women.