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  • Locked thread
Boon
Jun 21, 2005

by R. Guyovich
Oh cool, a literal rape story that someone is proud of

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MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Probably not. Wonder if we have a lurking former Master Bombardier busted to gunner for idiocy who also liked to gently caress any new girl in the unit, usually with lots of coercion and booze involved.

Watching that gently caress get busted down was the most glorious feeling of schadenfreude I've ever experienced.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones
I've been out for 20 and was a lovely shamming e-4


e. rape story

:catstare:

Terrible Robot
Jul 2, 2010

FRIED CHICKEN
Slippery Tilde
Welp this thread was fun for about 5 minutes.

Kill yourself, scumbag

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde

quote:

Doesn't really need to be anonymous I guess, but I don't want to take credit for my poor writing:


--------------------------

Standing CSOOW, 6 months into a deployment with a whole fuckload of marines onboard.

I hear the fire bells ringing..... Compartment # sounds like its right next to radio oh poo poo oh poo poo.

Fast response team shows up to the location, its a Marine berthing and its filling with smoke rapidly. Smoke and flaming bits of paper are streaming out of the ventilation system directly into the berthing space. DCmen are loving chopping down the ventilation with axes and sledgehammers to find the source of the flames. Turns out, the marines in this berthing were not happy with the amount of cold air coming from the ventilation system (we were in the persian gulf and thus our AC systems were struggling to keep spaces cool). So these brilliant marines decided to open up the ventilation system, and stuff crumpled up paper into it so they could block the flow of air to the next space over; thus getting more AC for themselves.

What they didn't anticipate is that they put the paper in the system directly before a reheater unit (which wasn't supposed to be on, but it was). The paper got into the heating coils and the whole thing turned into a class A fire in the loving vents, spewing flaming paper and smoke all over a 80 man berthing.

The marines of that berthing had zero ventilation for a few weeks after that, which if you know anything about marines or ships that's absolutely horrifying.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones


That's more like it

smper fi

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

See that's some properly funny schadenfreude

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde

quote:

gently caress that rapist pig let's talk about true love lost. I was low-key dating someone in my unit. We wound up both being assigned to 3rd shift and assigned to a project where we were isolated and largely left alone for the entire shift. We had sooooo much sex/making out/hand and mouth stuff and no one had a clue. Easily the best 6 months of my time in the military.

I almost reenlisted to stay with them as we had mutual feelings for each other and when I was getting ready to leave on terminal leave they begged me to stay in the area. I decided to move back home to go to school. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had stayed. I consider that person the one who got away.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

Wasabi the J posted:

one time the army sucked really bad, but then I realized it was my whole career, and I realized I spent most of my twenties not smoking pot and socializing with real people or being well-rounded, so I got depression.

so the army is like being a goon

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
I figured it would happen, but not on the first page

jesus

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING
Hey rapist,

Assuming that wasn't STDH, please get help that poo poo is sociopathic. I'm standing by my no witch hunt clause but I hope Jesus you're a lurker because I couldn't imagine one of our regulars being a no-poo poo unapologetic rapist.

Third World Reagan
May 19, 2008

Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.
lol the whole good thing that can come from this is lovely people talk about being lovely and getting help

the moment you guys start pushing away bad people is the moment they stay underground and guard their poo poo

and I guarantee you we have lovely people in here since people in general are lovely and hide their shames

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Third World Reggin posted:

lol the whole good thing that can come from this is lovely people talk about being lovely and getting help

the moment you guys start pushing away bad people is the moment they stay underground and guard their poo poo

and I guarantee you we have lovely people in here since people in general are lovely and hide their shames

True, but I also haven't raped anyone. Drunk sex is a no brainer.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

Ain't no pussy in the world worth reenlisting for

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

I reenlisted because your mom needed support. She is worth it OP

P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007

Pesticide20 posted:

Ain't no pussy in the world worth reenlisting for

read the post carefully, no female pronoun was used

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Couldn't the subordinate rapist guy just openly sleepy with his subordinate like everyone else

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

Kill yourself.

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

P-Mack posted:

read the post carefully, no female pronoun was used

🤔

Jokers Gamble
May 31, 2013

Larry Parrish posted:

Couldn't the subordinate rapist guy just openly sleepy with his subordinate like everyone else

Hoo boy 4th Brigade 3rd Infantry was the king of this. Brigade CSM got retired for loving around with women in the brigade staff. His replacement got a DUI right before we deployed. It just goes to show you are never too old to go full enlisted.

Also, rape guy, gently caress you.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
0-60 in half a page. :stare:

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Is there any other way?

Jokers Gamble
May 31, 2013
I had to deal with a woman who was dealing with rape and abuse allegations as a PFC office clerk at my first unit. It was really pretty awful. They didn't really know what to do and the command did not handle it well. I was glad to get transferred to an infantry unit. That really killed any motivation I had left.

Jokers Gamble fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Oct 19, 2016

poopkitty
Oct 16, 2013

WE ARE ALL ONE

Larry Parrish posted:

Couldn't the subordinate rapist guy just openly sleepy with his subordinate like everyone else

Hes a goon, so no.

He had to get her drunk.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde

quote:

In my illustrious military career I have takin dumps in the following things

Laundry hamper

Cheerios box stored in another person's room

About half a dozen upper deckers in other people's offices and apartments

On the passenger's seat of a particularly lovely person's Silverado

Under the bag/liner of a few under used garbage cans in other units' office spaces

In someone's footlocker

In a VHS box (plastic shell) for a video I labeled "Squadron awards ceremony 98" and then put in the unit's training/historical tape library

In a bowling bag left unattended

in the middle of a beautifully wrapped garden hose another unit used to wash off equipment

and finally and most deviously/shamefully

In my own boot to throw off people getting suspicious of me

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

i lolled at the VHS box

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
HAHAHAHAHAHAH what a scoundrel

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
Mad Shitter stories never fail

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro

Naked Bear posted:

0-60 in half a page. :stare:

Thank god for shitter stories to bring it back

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Booblord Zagats posted:

Thank god for shitter stories to bring it back

Yes. More of this please.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones
Awesome

Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

finally, a troop i can support

Terrible Robot
Jul 2, 2010

FRIED CHICKEN
Slippery Tilde
loving lost it at the VHS poo poo, holy hell I wish there was a way to see the look on the face of the poor bastard that found that surprise.

ManMythLegend
Aug 18, 2003

I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.
:lol: at the VHS tape.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
Never did a rogue poo poo, but I have upper decked an rear end in a top hat with a dead fish.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
He's full of poo poo :troll:

vains
May 26, 2004

A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners
as a prank, a guy i knew said he was going to upper deck a toilet. it turns out that he didnt quite grasp the concept because he took a poo poo on the seat instead of in the tank.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

as a prank, a guy i knew said he was going to upper deck a toilet. it turns out that he didnt quite grasp the concept because he took a poo poo on the seat instead of in the tank.

the ole mezzanine

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde

quote:

I'm not gay, but I almost let some gay dude blow me down range. I decided against it because I was too scared someone would find out. I would have let him though. I don't like dudes, but blow job is blow job.

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Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Yeah I've been at the other end of that :q:

Also straight dudes are so insecure about their dongers that I got asked to "rate" some.

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