- Strontosaurus
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if you were a boy vampire, would you suck the blood from men? seems kind of gay
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Nov 10, 2016 17:34
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- Adbot
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Apr 27, 2024 03:13
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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I would but only because I'd be a gay vampire.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Nov 10, 2016 17:38
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- Macnult
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"stakes are high? suck blood from guy"
- vladfucious
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Nov 10, 2016 18:16
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- Bhauk
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if you were a boy vampire, would you suck the blood from men? seems kind of gay
u juz don't get it...
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Nov 10, 2016 18:40
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- Metal Pink Babble
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by FactsAreUseless
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Never thought about it that way, but it kinda goes with the image i get after watching the Theatrical adaptation of an Anne Rice novel. All of the most accomplished vampires are so pale and weak, it's like all of their food and dragon-chase heroing money goes to a cosmetics and frilly powdered wig addiction.
I just thought about how bad decisions are made on low blood sugar and starvation. Imagine how mortified Lestat would be showing up at a blood bank in a hypoglycemic stupor thinking he was at his 10:30 at the dialysis clinic, but it couldn't be Thursday because he just had his hair appointment.
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Nov 11, 2016 20:55
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- MrWillsauce
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lol where are you drinking it from
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Nov 11, 2016 23:20
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- Android Blues
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as a vampire, i am so tired of our defenseless blood flock thinking our whole "shtick" is a metaphor for their weird sex thing. im dead my junk doesnt work and i havent had a sex thought in four hundred years (n.b. it was when i read copernicus groundbreaking round globe land theory and started thinking about a booby)
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Nov 12, 2016 04:52
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- Android Blues
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If anything, vampires would be really prudish because even the younger ones come from times where it was considered most proper to marry and prophylactics were a sin against God. Like, some vampire somewhere is probably like, "look at how I flaunt God's law with the mystery of my dark existence Kevin, we're going to use a condom tonight. Marvel at my Satanic power! I dance in the court of the Devil! No, don't bite it, you'll tear it. Use the designated peel strip."
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Nov 12, 2016 04:54
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- Chunky Salsa
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"Isn't that right, Zach?"
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I would but only because I'd be a gay vampire.
That and I mean you don't ask if a steak came from a dude
Slap some sauce on that bad boy if you have to
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Nov 12, 2016 06:20
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- Scaly Haylie
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Slap some sauce on that bad boy if you have to
literally
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Nov 12, 2016 09:25
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- Shame Wagon
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If I suck the blood of the most virile, high testosterone males than surely I will gain their masculinity, thereby avoiding the threat of becoming one of those effete whiney vampires that do nothing but complain about the burden of immortality.
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Nov 12, 2016 11:37
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- Commie NedFlanders
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vampires don't believe in the sanctity of biblical marriage
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
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Nov 12, 2016 12:14
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- HotSoapyBeard
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I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
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Only drink it while wearing a condome.
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Nov 12, 2016 14:45
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- Gatekeeper
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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it depends
when i was a kid i always assumed vampires sucked blood through their fangs, like the fangs had a lil hollow channel inside and were like a mosquito proboscis and they'd pop two neat tiny holes in your neck and the blood would be sucked up through the fangs, and technically they never even really needed to put their lips on your neck.
as ive grown older, i have heard from others that the vampire uses its fangs to tear open the neck, and then just sucks the blood into its mouth and swallows it like if you were a baby suckin on a boob.
so tell me: am i using my fangs like tiny straws, or am i giving murder hickeys? because i'm only drinkin dude blood if i get to slurp on his jugular like a stupid horny teen-ager. if i'm stuck drinkin through tiny straws, i'll stick to women/rats/birds thx you very much
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Nov 12, 2016 17:57
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- Gatekeeper
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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If anything, vampires would be really prudish because even the younger ones come from times where it was considered most proper to marry and prophylactics were a sin against God. Like, some vampire somewhere is probably like, "look at how I flaunt God's law with the mystery of my dark existence Kevin, we're going to use a condom tonight. Marvel at my Satanic power! I dance in the court of the Devil! No, don't bite it, you'll tear it. Use the designated peel strip."
nah, history books are like a dating app profile or your resume where it's all a bunch of made-up gobbledygook to impress ppl. even in olden times people were gross and rude and did disgusting things with their genitals to/on everyone and everything.
you read some old book about a stuffy guy and it's like "oh he held this lady's hand once and it was scandalous as heck so he promptly married her to protect her honor" and the book doesn't mention he had a big jewel-encrusted candlestick deep inside his bottom while he was holding her hand, or like, "held her hand" was a 1700s euphemism for "twincest anal creampie teenage milves" or whatever porn was popular then. "cum drenched powdered wig gently caress fiesta woodcuts" or whatever
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Nov 12, 2016 18:32
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- Gatekeeper
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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vampires are worried about their reps too but in the opposite way, like even if they really do hold a hand they tell the story like "i turned into a wolf and totally did her right there in the cemetery and licked her blood and when her dad ran over with the garlic and a Bible i turned into a gas and floated away, tickling her thighs as i passed by  "
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Nov 12, 2016 18:35
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- Nathilus
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I alone can see through the media bias.
I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
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Yeah my fav vampire is bi and irish and while I cant be irish I can still follow in his footsteps.
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Nov 12, 2016 21:23
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- Gatekeeper
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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Yeah my fav vampire is bi and irish and while I cant be irish I can still follow in his footsteps.
a boirish vampire
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Nov 13, 2016 03:12
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- Nathilus
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I alone can see through the media bias.
I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
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I use "birish" myself but yours is good too.
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Nov 13, 2016 03:41
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- social vegan
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idk is he cute? did he say anything about me?
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Nov 13, 2016 12:45
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- Ahundredbux
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The right to bear arms
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why dont you come over here and stick that "stake" in my "heart"
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Nov 13, 2016 18:12
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- Adbot
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Apr 27, 2024 03:13
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- Strontosaurus
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i guess it's okay to drink the blood from a man if you kill him in the process. none of that hosed up "feeding ecstasy" peck-on-the-neck and he feels great the day after bullshit. it's gotta be a messy kill otherwise it's gay. you heard it here first.
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Nov 13, 2016 18:16
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Nov 10, 2016 17:34
