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Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
I'm in. Sending you a pm through the awful app if you don't get it let me know and I'll go find a computer somewhere on this island to log in from.

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Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
Shits ordered. It may end up being two packages due to delivery dates. Hope you can read fuckers.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
Are we allowed to send literal dicks or is that found upon. Cause I just won a giant walrus dick in a poker game and someone needs that in their life.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
Yeah.....just throw it in a dumpster. It will never dry out.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
XL Long. Big shoulders meh waist. I like to pick up heavy poo poo and still like to eat BBQ on occasion.

I hope my victim drinks.:cheers:

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
I'm sorry Santee no walrus dick for you. The shipping place on the island ran out of shipping tubes so I got a bigger box and put some extra goodies to help you with your ED. I hope you like erections lasting longer than four hours. And for god sake wash your hands after handling some of the products before going to the bathroom.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
So I'm in UT for the holidays and won't be home until the 1st. Someone will put the present in the house. Sorry santa.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
Out for delivery santee.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
Nah. The B is a double Belgian the F is williams fireside ale. The bottle is mead. Give it another two months or so for best taste but if you want to get hosed up on the drink of my people its good to drink now. That bottle will probanly gently caress you up if you drink the whole thing at once by yourself. So find a comfy chair and enjoy. And for god sakes wash your hands after handleing the peppers

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

LingcodKilla posted:

Mead!!! Ok two months it is. Exciting!

Hahah not sure what I'm going to do with the peppers but a spicy fish soup may be in its future.

I sent a letter with a generalized scale. None of them are below a million Scoville.

Didn't know if you had a cat or dog so sent things for both.

I couldn't find a shipping tube for the walrus dick so you got all the random extras i could fit to make up for it. Sorry man.

Edit: Candle in there for lady friend.

Melthir fucked around with this message at 02:47 on Dec 24, 2016

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

LingcodKilla posted:

Is it big enough?



It collapses down.

Pm sent. Youll get a late dickmas but ill get it there

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

Soulex posted:

Hey Melthir,

my love is coming for you

Soulex

Better than on me. yrmv

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

Soulex posted:

Check to see if my Santa is there too please.

:ohdear:

Hyrulehooker says no go on the package yet but they dont always show up till 6pm alaskan time so if its out for delivery it should show up.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
Nothing yet maybe tomorrow

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
It has arived. Pics as soon as I get home or i can try to have Hyrulehooker open it which might be funnier. Your call Soulex

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

Soulex posted:

Tell him to open it but not tell you what's inside

She wants to know if the stuff inside is for me or her :confused:and says thank you.....i am now worried about what you sent.:ohdear:

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

LingcodKilla posted:

16 inch dildo would be my guess.

Hey its not the size that counts its how you use it.....I hope...or i just got replaced.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

Soulex posted:

How long does it take for you to get home god drat?

Gone till the 28th down in Houma LA. Home for a week then gone for at least another month in Kodiak AK.

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
My wife has sent me strange pictures that have gotten her excited via the interwebs.

Whats this a pile of goodies from a stranger?
Wait this could blow up in my face quickly. There is familiar literature in the back ground.


Some of the reading material is good reading.


Some of it seems to be a weird instruction manaul of things not to do.


Ohhhhhhh......now I know why Hyrulehooker was so excited. :circlefap:


This should be fun.


Im gonna break them hips.



Thanks Santa my week at home should be fun. :greatgift:

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

ElMaligno posted:

Its a miracle!

Modedit: I guess you had no way of knowing they were talking about you so uh my bad.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Im so confused right now.

Hes laughing about it on slack right now.

Melthir fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Jan 12, 2017

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.





Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
Will you accept an esig

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

Soulex posted:

If you post the stuff inside the masterbation book maybe :allears:

Im working on it

Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.
The following is a true story names have been changed to protect me from you weird mother fuckers.

Mel:
Hooker they want you to chevk the masterbation book.

Check

Love you
4 hrs later

Did you get my message

Hh:
Sorry didnt notice it. But Nope not opening the book

Mel:
...

Why

HH:
Nope it's  from a goon and im not toching it

Mel:
I cabnt be thst bad

It can't be that bad
Sorry the LA roads are bumpy as gently caress.

HH:
Not risking seeing things  I don't ever want to see and scarring me for the rest of my life like the dick bookso sorry love not touching it. You just have to wait

:)

Love you.



:transmission ends

Sorry guys ill post it when i get home.

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Melthir
Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.

:golfclap:

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