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Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Parp.

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Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Chalks posted:

Just keep posting the good stuff and soon he'll have the whole thread on ignore

Just tested, you can't put a mod or admin on ignore. Anyone wanting to talk to Derek will have to go through Beet or Beer.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
I don't want to piss on anyone's chips, but the gameplay footage for ME: Andromeda looks like more of the very average same.

Still better than anything Croberts is capable of, obviously.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Yeah, the $25 I've given Lowtax (10 to join SA, 5 to get an avatar for myself (yes, I'm sad and pathetic), 10 to change Toast's avatar to Toast of London) is totally on par with people spending thousands to spite Derek Smart. I guess I'm just like them, really. That $25 over about ten months is just nothing to me. Hell, I spent more than that last night buying a toy Star Trek phaser for the next time I have to go shoot zombies with my nephew. Disposable income, bitches. :smug:

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

ripptide posted:

As un-surprising as it may be, this is not the first time a Shitizen has asked about rape being present in SC.


A truly enlightened community.

I particularly like the idea that rape is less morally questionable than murder. "Ok, killing is always bad. We all agree on that. But won't there be some circumstances where rape is actually the good thing to do?"

Meridian posted:

It was you? Thank you for doing that. Single greatest av purchase ever made.

Worth the $25 by itself.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

The Titanic posted:

I thought the same. :(

I was actually kind of disappointing when they showed conversations with normal Mass Effect aliens, humans, and very ME looking random outposts. It's just another Mass Effect. I was really hoping for a 3D Starflight or something similar. They seemed to initially imply that, but the gameplay itself seems to not suggest it at all.

Still be a day 0 buy for me. I love Sci fi. :)
I might pick it up on sale. Still haven't played ME3, the first two just left me with such an overwhelming sense of "meh." All that "choices matter" stuff was such bollocks. I played through the first game twice, with characters set up to be as opposite of each other as possible, one of them doing a paragon run, the other renegade. Only real difference was they got different missions related to their pasts because I gave them different backgrounds. That's without even getting into where I don't think the paragon and renegade traits were assigned to the right option.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

TheAgent posted:

moma I am currently drinking a 2012 c. montelena chardonnay with some cheap fish tacos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzC1Dn0gqgE

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

MeLKoR posted:

Tell me more. :nallears:

Lie if need be, but describe Matt Berry in drag.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

The Titanic posted:

I hope it goes beep, beep, beep every time you kick it into reverse. And also the more you speed up going backwards the bigger the flames come out of the rear thrust sensor module engines.

I hope there's going to be a fastening your safety belt minigame.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Mr Fronts posted:

The recognised "No Sunk Cost Fallacy", where you have invested so little money in something that is not good that you cannot bear to not think you could not have spent less on it without it not being not good.

Look at it this way: some shitizens are putting money into Star Citizen every month. Goons are giving zero dollars EVERY DAY. Those zeroes add up.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

The Volturi don't get paid for testing the game, do they? Their reward is just playing the game?

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

HycoCam posted:

**raises hand** Hey, before we get the rape mechanic working--can we work on some diversity in the player model. Plowing the same middle-aged, bald dude over and over doesn't really get me out of my comfort zone.
I like Colin Mochrie but I'm not sure I'd want to continually rape him. I bet he'd make it really funny though. Maybe do a hoedown about it.

HycoCam posted:

In the initial days, you only had to pledge $2,500 or more and ask via your concierge service to be added. Hopefully this has been tweaked and limited to owners of "cash only" recent purchases to test. Evocati sounds so much better than Givers.

ripptide posted:

And, of course, the adulation of all those adoring Shitizens. That's payment enough, no?
See, somehow I knew this but my brain kept refusing to accept it was true.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Couple of favorites from the poo poo what I made:









Breetai posted:

Relay MUST be as innovative and ground breaking as star citizen. Our mission statement is that we regurgitate existing content created by others.

Sad thing is, a site that actually analyzed CIG's development and funding would be a worthwhile project.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Colostomy Bag posted:

Yeah, that was a masterstroke.

Ever had opportunities to tell a loved one about bizarre poo poo that this dumpster fire produced? Yet realize around five minutes into the conversation it would take another 20 hours of background stories to get them up to speed?

That is what I find the most sickening and heartbreaking truth.

Met up with a friend a few months ago and I started to briefly explain this bizarre thing I'd been following online. Constantly interrupting my own outline with "Oh, and this crazy thing happened as well, which led to..." Although I don't think anything really tops the reaction you get to "People are spending hundreds of dollars on imaginary spaceships for a game that isn't finished, from a company with no plan of how to make it, run by a man who got run out of the games industry for loving up this exact same idea before. Oh, and his VP of marketing is his ex-tickle-pornstar wife. No really, people are paying hundreds of dollars. There's one guy who's in for like 30 grand."

If/when this thing finally collapses or explodes, I honestly hope someone does a book on it. A news story just wouldn't be able to cover even a fraction of the story.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

I.N.R.I posted:

Hi everyone, hope youre having a fabulous day hating the videogame and the people who play it.
I know there's no point to this, cos I'm basically replying to a poo poo AI, but: I don't hate Star Citizen or the people who play it. I love Star Citizen, it's the best videogame I've never paid for. I feel pity for the people who play Star Citizen, because there are so many better games (almost every game ever) that they could be playing instead of the broken, buggy tech demo they've convinced themselves is the best game ever.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

KM Scorchio posted:

Space football stretch goal plz

Edit: that actually seems like a perfect CR spontaneous promise to cause his programmers to tear their hair out. Guys let's have an in game sports network so players can watch other players play sports sub games live while they fly their fully physics modeled autism chariots around 100 handcrafted star systems.

Also, a game like Rocket League but with spaceships. It would open up a whole new type of ship for them to sell!

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Samizdata for idiot king!

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Well, it's reassuring to know he's an rear end in a top hat about subjects other than Star Citizen.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Chunjee posted:

For any tax evaders out there:

Industrial Grade Cat Remover (Hides the entire post for a single infraction. Good for cruising over hundreds of pages)
Regular Strength Cat Remover (Only hides pictures if suspected of being pet related. May get updates to hide sections of irrelevant cat chatter)



Ban this vile filth.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

I don't even quite understand why people get up in arms about there being queer characters and characters of color and women characters and etc. Why does this bother them? Why does there need to be some plot-specific reason for all the characters to not be heterosexual, hypertrophied Teutonic demigods in homosocial settings? Do all the characters need to be attractive to the player? ...
Homophobes are like that. It's not just that they don't like gays, they can't stand the thought that anyone anywhere might be gay. That's why you end up with people arguing against gay marriage.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Sabreseven posted:

So the :reddit: Sherlocks have deduced that I.N.R.I. is one of Dereks lackeys and simultaniously Derek himself on an alt account.

If you ever wanted proof of their intellectual fortitude, there it is.

Wait, what?

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Eldragon posted:

Sexuality alone does not add anything to the story, but Bioware likes to tack it on anyway without bothering to introduce the partner as another in-game character or backstory. I'm mostly talking Dragon Age 2 and 3 here. Mass Effect probably had GLB characters too, but I don't remember or didn't notice. The fact that I didn't notice means the writer did their job well.
Haven't played many Bioware games, but from what I remember: KotOR didn't have gay characters (don't know if that's a choice by them or a condition of the license). Mass Effect 1's two human romance options were straight, although either gender could romance the blue alien chick. Mass Effect 2 had a few lesbian options. If I was a cynic, I'd say it's because of a fear that the average gamer might find two men going at it distasteful, but would be fine with two women making the beast with two clits. And I am a cynic, so that's what I think.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

That's a shame, I've got a Pebble. Pretty cool little gadget. Honestly thought it was the best smartwatch on the market.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

ME1's options were straight, excepting the two spots where you can uh "romance" the asari (one consort, one party member) with Shephards of either sex.

ME2's options were straight Sheps & lesbian/bisexual lady Sheps. I thought male Shepards could romance Thane (the green alien bro), but apparently I was misremembering this because the wiki says he's an option only for ladies. (Disclosure: I totally hated romance in ME2, somehow my Shepard got date-raped by Jack and it was the worst. I don't know how I blundered into an affair with the skinhead option.) Anyway, I'm pretty sure your cynical take is the correct take.

If I ever replay that, I'm totally going for a Jack romance. Can't for the life of me remember why I went with Tali. Scary skinhead chick gonna team up with my butt-ugly Shepard to save the galaxy! Woo hoo!

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

The Titanic posted:

I agree. Even if it's small and minor, or tacked on, at least they did it. I have no issues with it. Plus, it's not like any video game romance actually works good anyway. Unless it's the Sims. Because it's the Sims and they will do anything.

The romance in Alpha Protocol with SIE is perfect. :colbert:

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

when i went to college in the late 00s, this was still a prevailing view. way too many people found out i was engaged to another woman and started asking me probing details about how women can even gently caress each other. i lost some friends. :sigh:
How the hell does anyone think that's an appropriate question to ask someone? I think the closest I've got to that is someone asking me which hand I wank with when they found out I'm left-handed, and that doesn't come close to how not ok asking for exact details of how someone fucks is.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

The Titanic posted:

The janky gameplay in that game kept me from getting far. I'm sure I'm missing something great, but I'll pass on it.

I understand, but you really are missing out on something special. It's just about the only game I've played that makes the "Your every choice will matter!" promise and actually kept it. A real flawed gem.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

TheAgent posted:

or they just dumb as gently caress

Gotta be this. Either that or very very naive if the only sex act they can imagine is penis in vagina.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Pgabz needs to use this in a video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FK6BQA7dUDs

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Beet Wagon posted:



There's currently an in-depth discussion going on on :reddit: about whether or not those parking sensors could be used to breach hulls - you know, the thing that isn't loving possible with the way CIG builds their dumb spaceships.

It's not really going to be more stupid one way or the other, but are they speculating that the parking sensors emit cutting beams, or just that you can ram the parking sensors into another ship's hull to rip it open?

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

TheAgent posted:

how can anyone hate pizza

what the gently caress is wrong with you derek

I don't like cheese, that makes pizza poo poo to me.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Raskolnikov posted:

WOW can we stop docking for one day????

CIG are way ahead of you on that one.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

The mods on there are some of the most tolerant I've ever seen. I can't think of any other forum where blatantly and repeatedly insulting the mods because you disagree with the rules would be accepted. If nothing else, you'd think by now they'd have said "If you don't like how we run the place, don't come here." It's almost as if they need to keep the number of people posting as high as possible... :tinfoil:

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Morningwoodpecker posted:

Maybe they don't think poking a bunch of obsessive stalkers with a stick is a fun thing to do. I think it's great fun, but each to their own.

I'd have worn out several sticks by now.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

AlbieQuirky posted:

Video games should be like real life, where nobody you work with ever mentions their same-sex spouse or partner, and lady soldiers wear layered bustiers because that is a super practical outfit for fighting.

Also, maybe Derek isn't a pizza fan because he can't eat wheat or cheese? Gluten-free pizza is just not that good, and neither is pizza with vegan cheese substitutes. (There is a place here that advertises gluten-free, dairy-free pizza, and my assumption is that it's some kind of CIA torture cell.)

Maybe it's because pizza is overpriced cheese on toast for wankers? :shrug:

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

I.N.R.I posted:

I'm not sure what gave you that idea :question: Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone to take a small amount of time out of their day of screaming at the computer game to call or visit their parents because they love and care about you

My parents wouldn't want me to listen to a bigot.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Natron posted:

Everyone knows that as time goes on, technology usually has to become much larger to accommodate slightly better performance. Space ships are no different than computers or cars. My car has a parking sensor and camera in the back and it's no larger than a coin. In 20 years, I'm sure you'll have to drag a trailer around so that the picture can be in HD and the beeps will be twice as loud. It's just how things work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykxMqtuM6Ko

... so Ben Lesnick is the best performing person at CIG.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

ArfJason posted:

Even if someone did a bad thing, it is not normal or in any way mentally balanced to go ahead and do the exact same thing, or to justify someone doing it again.

True, but at least I'm not a racist.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

ArfJason posted:

Yeah, that reddit guy is a complete weirdo for following a guy online all day long to make fun of him, and sometimes even going as far as posting personal information on public venues. He's an obsessive creep who probably sends death threats, and is constantly cataloguing, screenshotting and archiving gaffes by his object of mockery, for a period of time that exceeds months. yea

Despicable behaviour, but better than you burning crosses in front of black people's homes.

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Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

MeLKoR posted:

It looks like we need a new batch of space cookies.

Space steaks.

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