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A misanthrope posted:if anyone tries to drive thru my little midwestern town me and my gang of radioactive rape cannibals are gonna make their day real lovely I am interested in your organization and wish to know more.
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Dec 31, 2016 20:04
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 12:43 |
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Go to some hick bar and get wasted drunk and start audibly sobbing about how much freer we are in America and if only the boys back home knew what it was like.
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Dec 31, 2016 20:06
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There are other countries? 
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Dec 31, 2016 20:11
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Khazar-khum posted:Come to Los Angeles. I promise that you'll get put in a movie, meet Brad Pitt, and be able to afford a house near the ocean. Come to NYC! An entire city that's only an intersection aka Times Square. It's New Year's Eve so all the locals are there right now!
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Dec 31, 2016 20:16
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504 posted:I am interested in your organization and wish to know more. Speak to our HR guy, MEATFUCK THE FETUS EATER. You can find him over by the pile of burning filing cabinets.
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Dec 31, 2016 20:26
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frogge posted:Go to some hick bar and get wasted drunk and start audibly sobbing about how much freer we are in America and if only the boys back home knew what it was like. this is actually probably a great way to make a lot of wild new friends to take you on an adventure doing something awesome like hunting bears
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Dec 31, 2016 20:31
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Teikanmi posted:So far I have goon meet, you want a beer??
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Dec 31, 2016 20:36
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tip 50% to make up for the rest of your brethren
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Dec 31, 2016 20:49
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gently caress a fat woman op. This is the best advice you'll find in this thread, as it's not state-specific. There are fat woman all over this great land of ours, which is nearly as tall as it is wide
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Dec 31, 2016 20:54
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Go visit a national park before they're all sold off.
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Dec 31, 2016 21:04
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Ranma Fan Art posted:just get so loving fat This is the right answer. You might be fat now, but you're not America fat.
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Dec 31, 2016 21:09
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Play golf And then gently caress the manwhore that carries your clubs
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Dec 31, 2016 21:23
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Sjs00 posted:Play golf https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SliRFVLdhjs
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Dec 31, 2016 21:34
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Caddy! That's the word I was looking for.
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Dec 31, 2016 21:40
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OP DO A PUBE BEArd
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Dec 31, 2016 22:08
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Teikanmi posted:so far I'm liking "have male anal sex" probably as the best option You can do that pretty much anywhere, though. Running through the gang-infested wastelands of South Central Los Angeles, South Chicago or East St Louis are America-only experiences. Oh, and be sure to visit Yosemite. Looks just like all its pictures!
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Dec 31, 2016 22:15
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If you find that the billboards are suddenly in Spanish you've made a wrong turn.
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Dec 31, 2016 22:23
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You should drink a 40.
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Dec 31, 2016 23:42
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Meth
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Jan 1, 2017 00:00
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Do something Native American related Do something Amish related
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Jan 1, 2017 06:55
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Are you in America yet? Have you been tasered or shot by some sort of authority figure yet?
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Jan 1, 2017 07:43
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Teikanmi posted:i'm going everywhere but nice try convincing me that you can't just paint america with a big general brush because it's all the same Oh poo poo no you can't. The USA is what the EU wishes it could be. Each state is basically it's own country. Own laws and ways of life. Word of advice if you go to a state that sells it, buy some tanerite from a sporting goods store, find an out door shooting range, and blow up a small portion of the US. Firearms and freedom make the US great. Two Feet From Bread fucked around with this message at 08:16 on Jan 1, 2017 |
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Jan 1, 2017 07:57
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EorayMel posted:Eat at mcdonalds Korean school children believe that all Americans eat McDonalds everyday and are shocked to disbelief when you tell them otherwise.
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Jan 1, 2017 10:17
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Okay, so there are actually two Americas. The first step is to figure out which one you're actually in. Go to a local eatery. Are the patrons typing on Macbooks and drinking overpriced coffee? You're in Blue America. Are they wearing John Deere hats and flannel shirts and eating high-fat breakfasts? You're in Red America. (Warning: there is a possibility of a Hipster False Positive on that second one. Make sure you can see an actual horizon in at least one direction before deciding you're in a Red zone.) Fortunately, there's no actual difference in strategy required here, just a substitution of wording. Tell the locals that you agree with them, that the [local color] people have it right and those crazy [opposite color] people are trying to destroy this beautiful country that you're only beginning to discover. (Vocabulary lesson: blue=liberal and red=conservative. Either terminology might be used.) And wow, how you wish your home country could be more like America, REAL America, like here, like [local color] America. And your entire home country (or continent!) would agree. You'll have no trouble at all making friends.
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Jan 1, 2017 10:44
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Non-sarcastic. Go see where the ducks walk on fish. It's Lake Pymatuning. At the spillway of the dam, the Carp build up. Visitors throw stale bread. The Ducks and Geese walk on the fish to get the bread. It's been like this for 80 years or more. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2204 It's a sight to behold. The best part of America is the little things. The problem, is that it's a big country. Another example of interest. If you go to Gheen, MN and head east on the Hoodoo road, you'll come to a slough with no name. If it's dry, cut right and follow the deer trail, if it's wet, climb up the pink quartz to your left. Follow the ground east until you see a Red Pine stand on an outcropping. Lower your yourself down on the Alder and proceed east. You'll find Hoodoo lake. A lake that no-one ever goes to. It's full of wild rice. It's absolutely gorgeous and no-one ever goes there. You can also follow the river from the east from lake Vermilion. but you can only do that in winter.
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Jan 1, 2017 11:10
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OP, where are you now?
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Jan 2, 2017 06:36
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Tip your waitress.
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Jan 2, 2017 08:02
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Get gay married.
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Jan 2, 2017 08:03
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If you're from Europe, go visit some workplace and see industrious Americans putting in a full day of work. If you're from Germany specifically, go to a Walmart at 3AM on a Sunday and buy everything you need in one place and savor convenience. And enjoy (at least pretend) actual customer service. Get free water at restaurants.
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Jan 2, 2017 08:06
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Vote.
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Jan 2, 2017 08:06
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Shadow0 posted:Tip your waitress. Tip your waitress more.
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Jan 2, 2017 08:07
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drop $25 on grandiose peasant food like a hot dog or chicken and waffles so people know you're hip
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Jan 2, 2017 08:30
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Scratch your butthole and then smell it mmyeah
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Jan 2, 2017 12:27
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frogge posted:Go to some hick bar and get wasted drunk and start audibly sobbing about how much freer we are in America and if only the boys back home knew what it was like.
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Jan 2, 2017 12:36
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Try some St. Louis pizza then kill yourself.
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Jan 2, 2017 12:41
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We can only take the OP's silence to mean he was immediately detained and deported for being a furriner (esp a brown one) or shot in self defense immediately upon deplaning. RIP OP, you helped make America great again.
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Jan 2, 2017 22:51
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Hes surely dead
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Jan 2, 2017 22:56
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Bob James posted:Try some St. Louis pizza then kill yourself.
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Jan 2, 2017 22:56
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Teikanmi posted:So far I have
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Jan 2, 2017 22:57
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Shoot a minority. Eat whatever rural specialty food is in the region. Buy a pickup truck
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Jan 2, 2017 23:50
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