Alex Jones basically has to admit he's a hack to keep his kids.

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Ape Fist: Feb 23, 2007; Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

I love Alex Jones. He's a loving whacky idiot and has been peddling whacky idiot nonsense for literally over a decade to an ever-growing audience of whacky idiots who need mental help. Recently he's become a kind of weird quasi-darling of the alt-right because he fed into the brain-broken conspiracy theories that Hillary Clinton was running a globe-wide child sex ring out of a Pizza place (she wasn't) and his lines about Obama turning all the frogs gay is the gift that keeps on giving.

But unfortunately Alex Jones' wife, Kelly Jones seems to have grown sick of living with a constantly wound up human jack-in-the-box and is now basically afraid he's going to kill himself and everyone in their household because the (((globalists))) are coming for them:

http://www.mystatesman.com/news/sta...FCd5SOPgP3A34J/

The whole article is worth a read but this part is great:

quote:

At a recent pretrial hearing, attorney Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones� on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in �Batman.�
�He�s playing a character,� Wilhite said of Jones. �He is a performance artist.�

But in emotional testimony at the hearing, Kelly Jones, who is seeking to gain sole or joint custody of her three children with Alex Jones, portrayed the volcanic public figure as the real Alex Jones.

�He�s not a stable person,� she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. �He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin�s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

�I�m concerned that he is engaged in felonious behavior, threatening a member of Congress,� she said, referring to his recent comments about California Democrat Adam Schiff. �He broadcasts from home. The children are there, watching him broadcast.�

I really hope this is the thing that causes him to snap completely and he really just starts doing truly insane poo poo, ideally without involving his terrified ex-wife and kids.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 10:52

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 01:32

Akumos: Sep 10, 2006

What's more likely, saying that poo poo is the lie/act, or his entire life is an act?

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:10

Drunk & Ugly: Feb 10, 2003; GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

now it will be proven that he is bill hicks, in a court of law

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:12

Justin Credible: Aug 27, 2003; happy cat

no he's actually Andy Kaufman.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:14

Zorodius: Feb 11, 2007; EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

This case will be dismissed when it is proven that every single thing Alex Jones ever said was 100% true.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:17

lorn Wayne: Jan 7, 2006

I've learnt that every single crazy person is always telling the truth.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:19

BRB pooping: Apr 17, 2008

He even uses his children as "reporters", it is almost endearing to see a snotnosed teen talking about the globalists and bonebroth. Also, a few weeks ago he issued an apology to the owner of Comet pizza, it seems that all that poo poo he spewed is coming back to him. Couldnt happen to a more deserving person

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:26

froward: Jun 2, 2014; by Azathoth

Alex Jones is raw condensed American masculinity.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:36

Young Freud: Nov 26, 2006

It will be interesting how long Trump keeps him close, especially with Jones outing himself as a "performance artist". It makes whatever connection he has to the administration even more suspect. At least if he claimed to be a "media figure" it would make sense with Bannon running Breitbart.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:36

ScrubLeague: Feb 11, 2007; Nap Ghost

Alex Jones was offered White House press credentials.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:41

mannerup: Jan 11, 2004; ♬ I Know You're Dying Trying To Figure Me Out♬

♬My Name's On The Tip Of Your Tongue Keep Running Your Mouth♬

♬You Want The Recipe But Can't Handle My Sound My Sound My Sound♬

♬No Matter What You Do Im Gonna Get It Without Ya♬

♬ I Know You Ain't Used To A Female Alpha♬

ScrubLeague posted:

Alex Jones was offered White House press credentials.

according to alex jones

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:43

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

I can't wait for this courtroom battle.

One of the jurors looks at him. I know you can read my thoughts, Alex.

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:51

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

Ape Fist posted:

quote:
He wants J-Lo to get raped.

Why does Alex Jones hate jennifer lopez

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:54

Young Freud: Nov 26, 2006

Please tell me that the end result of this will be a judge committing him to an insane asylum, even though it's a custody case. I'll take six months voluntary psychiatric care in exchange for custody when he gets through. The dude definitely needs psychiatric help.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:55

lorn Wayne: Jan 7, 2006

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:58

mannerup: Jan 11, 2004; ♬ I Know You're Dying Trying To Figure Me Out♬

♬My Name's On The Tip Of Your Tongue Keep Running Your Mouth♬

♬You Want The Recipe But Can't Handle My Sound My Sound My Sound♬

♬No Matter What You Do Im Gonna Get It Without Ya♬

♬ I Know You Ain't Used To A Female Alpha♬

Young Freud posted:

It will be interesting how long Trump keeps him close, especially with Jones outing himself as a "performance artist". It makes whatever connection he has to the administration even more suspect. At least if he claimed to be a "media figure" it would make sense with Bannon running Breitbart.

trump did a single interview with him back in december 2015 during the republican primary and everything since then has been a one-sided relationship with jones being a cheerleader for him and a friendly outlet since

# ? Apr 17, 2017 11:59

suburban virgin: Jul 26, 2007; Highly qualified lurker.

froward posted:

Alex Jones is raw condensed American masculinity.

Complete with poorly-concealed homoeroticism.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:03

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN posted:

Why does Alex Jones hate jennifer lopez
[/quote]

She probably tweeted something "liberal" once like "not all minorities are bad" or "fluoridated water is a net plus"

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:09

Ape Fist: Feb 23, 2007; Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN posted:

Why does Alex Jones hate jennifer lopez
[/quote]

Yeah I was a bit ? on that one too. I assume he hates Alec Baldwin because he had THE AUDACITY to make fun of tender sweet Drumpfy.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:14

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Way to play into the zionist reptoid illuminati's hands OP.
I bet you also like to turn forgs gay!

#infowahrs

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:14

mannerup: Jan 11, 2004; ♬ I Know You're Dying Trying To Figure Me Out♬

♬My Name's On The Tip Of Your Tongue Keep Running Your Mouth♬

♬You Want The Recipe But Can't Handle My Sound My Sound My Sound♬

♬No Matter What You Do Im Gonna Get It Without Ya♬

♬ I Know You Ain't Used To A Female Alpha♬

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN posted:

Why does Alex Jones hate jennifer lopez

it was over a line in her grammy speech

quote:

ALEX JONES: Get into some of the people freaking out and flipping out at the Grammys. Here it is.

JENNIFER LOPEZ (VIDEO): This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair.

JONES: Stop, stop, stop. Back it up, back it up. Who is this? Who is this tart? I forget who she is. J-Lo. So again, giant corporate people making hundreds of millions of dollars, up there with their perfect manicured everything. All the leftists from these big foundations, where 1 or 2 percent of the money goes to the Africans.

And they hoard the money for themselves, like you know, the Clintons and Oprah, and all the rest of it. And she�s up there, �Oh and we just gotta do something, it�s we�re so oppressed, it�s all so horrible, what will�-- Yes, let�s critique this -- �it�s so terrible, what are we, it�s so [unintelligible] and Trump wants to build factories for poor people.�

He doesn�t want to bring people in from Somalia where women are sold on slave box. Why don�t you go to Somalia for five minutes, lady, you�ll be gang raped so fast it�ll make your head spin.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:16

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

J-Lo doesn't go to Somalia she goes to Turkmenistan for the dictator's birthday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQSFQocp1Bk

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:19

Space Taxi: Oct 31, 2016

Alex Jones knows bad dancing when he sees it.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:23

BullDawg: Mar 11, 2017; by Nyc_Tattoo

I wish Nationalists and Alt-Rights would completely distance themselves from Alex Jones. He is nothing but an anti-white hack that's constantly thrown in our faces when confronting real issues that MSM refuses to cover.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:24

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

IMO Kelly Jones seems to be losing this custody battle. Alex is a crazy person but he's that peculiarly high-functioning type of crazy which, amazingly, turned him into a millionaire. Don't think being vulgar and having extreme political opinions disqualifies you from raising kids.

BullDawg posted:

I wish Nationalists and Alt-Rights would completely distance themselves from Alex Jones. He is nothing but an anti-white hack that's constantly thrown in our faces when confronting real issues that MSM refuses to cover.

You don't understand. Alex Jones isn't trapped in there with you.

...

You're trapped in there with Alex Jones! :derp:

BrutalistMcDonalds fucked around with this message at 12:28 on Apr 17, 2017

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:26

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

I hope Alex Jones wins

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:27

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

froward posted:

Alex Jones is raw condensed American masculinity.

his extremely american masculine diet is going to kill him with rear end cancer

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:30

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODZE5peUfWQ

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:29

Wall Balls: Jun 3, 2007; Spanish Castle Magic

BullDawg posted:

I wish Nationalists and Alt-Rights would completely distance themselves from Alex Jones. He is nothing but an anti-white hack that's constantly thrown in our faces when confronting real issues that MSM refuses to cover.

i wish you would distance yourself from your keyboard

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:42

BullDawg: Mar 11, 2017; by Nyc_Tattoo

Wall Balls posted:

i wish you would distance yourself from your keyboard

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:44

Edgar Allan Pwned: Apr 4, 2011; Quoth the Raven "I love the power glove. It's so bad..."

I cant imagine being raised by alex jones would be particularly great. especially if one of the kids just slurps up his propaganda

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:48

lorn Wayne: Jan 7, 2006

Edgar Allan Pwned posted:

I cant imagine being raised by alex jones would be particularly great. especially if one of the kids just slurps up his propaganda

can't be pleasant when they're having a normal dinner and he suddenly just rips his shirt off and continues calmly eating, then a horse appears out of nowhere

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:52

suburban virgin: Jul 26, 2007; Highly qualified lurker.

I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the American legal system that prevents crazy people from having/looking after kids.

# ? Apr 17, 2017 12:54

Enophos: Feb 29, 2008

BullDawg posted:

I wish Nationalists and Alt-Rights would completely distance themselves from Alex Jones. He is nothing but an anti-white hack that's constantly thrown in our faces when confronting real issues that MSM refuses to cover.