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Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

Im wondering what the actual oldest trick in the book is. Now im writing it out i'd also like to know which book has all the tricks in it.

*Changes to a more personal tone, a bit quieter*

Theres something on your shirt, im pointing at it

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Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


That trick requires both clothing and a facility for speech. There's probably an older one from when we were naked and grunting

The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014



Claiming that your groping was just an attempt to get a gummi Venus De Milo that was stuck to her pants.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

Grand Prize Winner posted:

That trick requires both clothing and a facility for speech. There's probably an older one from when we were naked and grunting

You could grunt up a ruckus and point behind someone and when they turn and look satan condemns them to hell

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

Person who invented poison could have made bank on poison sniffin competitions, using entry fees.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



Putting pubes on a Coke can.

runupon cracker
Jan 13, 2006

Excalibur? More like "Needle"


asking an open-ended question in hopes of a humorous reply, that's the oldest trick

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



probably kickflips

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



russian roulette with a glock

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



the one where someone says did u know that if ur palm is bigger than ur face you have cancer, so naturally you put your palm right up against ur face to check, and while youre checking they steal ur girlfriend

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo


Orkin Mang posted:

the one where someone says did u know that if ur palm is bigger than ur face you have cancer, so naturally you put your palm right up against ur face to check, and while youre checking they steal ur girlfriend

im gay

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007




then swap cancer for aids and girlfriend for spa membership

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

Orkin Mang posted:

the one where someone says did u know that if ur palm is bigger than ur face you have cancer, so naturally you put your palm right up against ur face to check, and while youre checking they steal ur girlfriend

I telling the straight up truth when i say I saw some new posts itt and was going to basically make this same post

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

The ol' Dosie Doe

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

trading only the camels youve already had sex with for your neighbors daughter. it still works today
oh shakazaramesh will you ever learn?

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



a classic is dying of old age, but before u die you leave an old treasure map behind, but theres not treasure its just a prank. u really did die penniless. i plan on using this one to own the public servant who has to clear out my personal effects from my apartment and sell them at a police auction when i die

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

in many ancient cultures it was tradition to lift the seat and put plastic wrap over the toilet bowl

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



Isaac posted:

I telling the straight up truth when i say I saw some new posts itt and was going to basically make this same post

a classic goof

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

Orkin Mang posted:

a classic is dying of old age, but before u die you leave an old treasure map behind, but theres not treasure its just a prank. u really did die penniless. i plan on using this one to own the public servant who has to clear out my personal effects from my apartment and sell them at a police auction when i die

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

This is probably the oldest trick, in ancient gunts the perpetrator of the trick would say "Take my wife, please!!"

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie


Probably Shamhat tricking Enkidu into becoming a civilized man.

Mammal Sauce
Apr 26, 2004

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
I spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill William's loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang

Expected goatse. Voting 1.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS


Clapping Larry

The oldest trick in the book is probably the blowjob, OP.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

Universe Master posted:

Probably Shamhat tricking Enkidu into becoming a civilized man.

scoundrel

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development

Literally the oldest trick in the book is a magic trick that an Egyptian dude performed which involved ripping the heads of birds and reattaching them.

Source from QI

The Biscuit
Jul 2, 2007
Half of everything is luck.

Orkin Mang posted:

a classic is dying of old age, but before u die you leave an old treasure map behind, but theres not treasure its just a prank. u really did die penniless. i plan on using this one to own the public servant who has to clear out my personal effects from my apartment and sell them at a police auction when i die

stay safe six-tonne-hentai ghost

https://au.news.yahoo.com/a/3456359...ction-in-japan/

Jesus Christ
Jun 1, 2000


uh, duh...!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SipLcrPmPOQ

Dave Concepcion
Mar 19, 2012


just the tip

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


Grimey Drawer

I was going to say it'd have to be after they invented books, but

Universe Master posted:

Probably Shamhat tricking Enkidu into becoming a civilized man.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

When the land was flooded with updog

Malinois
Jun 13, 2003



"Got your nose!" has to have some age on it.


Strong contender

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



farting in a crowded elevator

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Guess what?

That's what.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

In a world gone mad,
we will not spank the monkey,
but the monkey will spank us.

"It just slipped in."

Woden
May 6, 2006


She's 117 and lives in Jamaica I think.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

the inventor of that trick should have been made god-king

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007


Dinosaur Gum

Pretty sure the oldest trick involves getting a talking snake to convince a guy to eat an apple another guy grew, but was hoarding for himself.

Kind of lame for a trick, but they didn't have much material to work with back then.

lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

Take your, heh, SHOT at world domination

isn't it pulling some kind of forest creature out of a top hat

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure

Her name is Roxie. She's a stately eleventy two.

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Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Take that and be happy.


Fun Shoe

lorn Wayne posted:

isn't it pulling some kind of forest creature out of a top hat

It;s convincing the forest creature that it was its own idea to come out of the hat

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