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 Welcome to the GDT for the [t]TUF 24 Finale, 9 p.m. today, July 7 on FS1![/b] The GDT for the big PPV tomorrow will be coming later. Many of you might not know this, but I’m actually quite the active wikipedia editor. And I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but earlier this year I won the 2017 WikiAward for Outstanding Contributions from a Moderator for my role in brokering the flamewar ceasefire to decide which Overwatch characters were noteworthy enough to have their own individual wiki page and which were not, leaving only 42 users and contributors banned in the aftermath — a record low! Anyway, that’s what brings me to this event. Some people might feel it is “noteworthy” in that Justin Gaethje is making his eagerly awaited UFC debut that has finally earned him a wikipedia page. But despite his now fighting in the UFC on the heels of a long-standing championship run in the third largest MMA promotion in the world against multiple UFC vets with their own page, I assure you he should still not exceed our standards for speedy deletion. In fact, I don’t think anyone on this card is worthy to see their name on that white and gray banner. Lightweight  Michael Johnson vs.  Justin Gaethje Many would say that going to the finale of one of the last compelling seasons of the Ultimate Fighter would make you worthy of consideration for a wikipedia article, but unfortunately in Michael Johnson’s case, I just can’t see the justification. He is the second most popular and successful fighter from St Louis after a champ who literally only I like, and his most recent fight was a decisive and prolonged loss to Russian editor IronDagastanEagleChild420’s fictional original character. And if merely being accused of beating your girlfriend were enough to warrant enshrinement in the collective sum of human knowledge that anyone can edit, then I would not have agreed to stop uploading hateful articles about my stepdad back in 2003. Look, I get it. You guys really like Justin Gaethje and are super excited to see him compete. That’s well and good, but that doesn’t mean he should have a wikipedia article. And no, this is not personal, ok? It has nothing to do with the fact that he took the girl he knew I liked to prom, and used to give me purple nurples in the locker room after lunch. It also has nothing to do with how he beat up the one-armed motivational speaker Nick Newell. This is completely unrelated to that. It doesn’t matter how many people like Melvin Guillard and Luis Palomino he’s beaten decisively, or how all of those people are undeniably worth an article on their own merit, ok? Look, the World Series of Fighting doesn’t exist anymore by that name, and its championship didn’t mean a whole lot when there are other more important lightweight champions in the world, like a cardboard cutout of Conor McGregor they use to fill in for him at press events when he’s on Liverpudlian drug benders, or that other guy from St. Louis who keeps getting title shots because he worked really hard to be really nice to both Scott Coker and Bjorn Rebney. So it’s nothing personal, at all, the undefeated hotshot with multiple fight of the year contender performances just isn’t all that notable. Welterweight  Dhiego “Proboscis” Lima vs.  Jesse Taylor OK, so these guys both used to be in the UFC, and then went away for various reasons and came back to fight for another contract on a once-popular televised tournament after long ago making it to the finals in the show’s hayday. I get that. I get why that would make you think they achieve that level of noteworthiness and cultural significance to get an article on the same website that chronicles important achievements in human civilization and the natural world such as chicken eyeglasses and Hitler bacon. But Dhiego Lima’s lone claims to fame are being Eddie Gordon’s lone UFC win (by finish!) and having a less significant and more successful brother in Bellator. So tell me, does that truly make him as important to document as the intersectionality of homosexuality in Haitian vodou? Jesse Taylor made it to the TUF finals once before, way back on TUF 7, but his problem drinking lead to an incident in a hotel lobby and his expulsion from the card. He was later given his first shot at redemption, only to lose to yet another fictional character, CB Dollaway, who himself is not worthy of his own article, but only a paragraph in a greater page describing similar people. He had some success in the b leagues but even that seemed over for a time, with just three wins in his last nine bouts. And again, if being an angry drunk who wasn’t good at anything but kept getting invited back time and time again to let you down once more, then my stepdad John Ray would have an article. Lightweight  Marc Diakiese vs.  Drakkar Klose Marc Diakiese is the closest person to worthy of an article on this card IMO, as the first UFC fighter to pose for Gay Times Magazine, a publication that is clearly very near and dear to all of our hearts. But even though he too is undefeated with admittedly impressive KO performances, he once again carries most of his wins over prank articles about Podracers. Besides, this categoryseems a little crowded right now and we are probably due for an article cull there. Drakkar Klose’s article has multiple problems and is primed for speedy deletion. While the Dothraki are an iconic part of the wildly popular Game of Thrones franchise, Drakkar Klose is not a significant enough character to warrant his own article, and there are rules in place against writing articles about fictional characters in an “in universe” voice. Suggest cleaning up the copy significantly and merge with the greater Dothraki article. Light heavyweight  Jared Cannonier vs.  Nick Roehrick With a laughable fight of the night win over Ion Cutelaba and a dogshit wrestlefucking loss to Gloer Teixeira, I suggest merging Jared Cannonier’s article with either of these articles instead. Looks like we actually got it right on Nick Roehrick, folks. Middleweight  Brad Tavares Vs.  Elias Theodorou Brad Tavares has recently been knocked out by Robert Whittaker and Tim Boetsch. Tim Boetsch seems like he’d be a really cool stepdad. Not like that rear end in a top hat John Ray, who always is really cool my stepbrother Justin and gets him the coolest toys like Nintendo 64s for Christmas when all I get is a VirtualBoy. I still remember Christmas ‘96. I could hear him laughing and having fun doing triple jumps and getting the fly cap while I had my retinas permanently seared by that gently caress-you red display as I got neck cramps playing the world’s shittiest version of Mario Tennis. Then I’d hear him and my mom yelling and fighting and Justin would give me another purple nurple and tell me they were fighting because of me and my mom sucked. I bet Tim Boetsch wouldn’t do that to me. I bet he’d get me my own controller and make Justin share Smash Bros with me and everything. gently caress you Justin. Anyway, Elias Theodorou is another TUF winner who moonlights as a Harlequin romance novel cover model. That seems interesting, but if that were the only standard by which people were deemed notable enough to get a wikipedia article, then roughly 8% of the population of Greece would have their own page, and we just can’t handle that level of volume right now. Light heavyweight  Jordan Johnson vs. Marcel Fortuna The world has plenty of no-name light heavyweights with solid but unproven records on the z-leagues, but if either of you are out there reading this, Jordan or Marcel, whichever of you can kick my stepdad and stepbrother’s rear end first will be the guaranteed Featured Article of the Day every day leading up to your next fight. Other poo poo to edit pedantically FS1 Prelims, 7 p.m. ET Fight Pass prelims, 6 p.m. ET Preliminary Card (Fox Sports 1) Women's Strawweight Angela Hill vs. Ashley Yoder Welterweight James Krause vs. Tom Gallicchio Light Heavyweight Ed Herman vs. C.B. Dollaway Women's Strawweight Tecia Torres vs. Juliana Lima Preliminary Card (UFC Fight Pass) Featherweight Gray Maynard vs. Teruto Ishihara
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Jul 7, 2017 23:34
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A Good OP
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Jul 7, 2017 23:39
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maybe Ishihara should invest in some sort of outside deity
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Jul 7, 2017 23:47
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Soothing Vapors posted:maybe Ishihara should invest in some sort of outside deity I missed the first 2.5 rounds, has the horny boy been getting wrestled like this the whole time?
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Jul 7, 2017 23:54
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This fight reminds me of that fight with Ryan Hall where Ryan only wanted to engage with Gray on his terms. I guess Gray learned something from that one.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:54
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Ishihara threw that illegal upkick intentionally and then grinned like an idiot. He's the true winner of this fight.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:56
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I like when Gray got kicked in the face illegally.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:56
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Le Saboteur posted:I like when Gray got kicked in the face illegally. I also liked the full audio "WHAT THE gently caress" from him.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:57
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It's time for Ishihara to embrace celibacy before his next fight.
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Jul 7, 2017 23:59
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Call out of Artem. okay than
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Jul 8, 2017 00:00
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gently caress Gray Maynard forever for making me want to possibly cheer for Artem Lobov.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:00
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That fence grab was egregious as hell.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:10
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That was a pretty sweet back take. Thought she was going to lose it but held on.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:14
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gorgeous
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Jul 8, 2017 00:14
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That was one of the most amazing finishes I've ever seen at women's strawweight.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:15
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That was slick.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:15
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Digital Jedi posted:That was a pretty sweet back take. Thought she was going to lose it but held on. Yeah that was legitimately cool.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:15
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Oh god, I hadn't seen the clip where Gaetje kicked out that guy's knee yet.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:22
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welcome back clarence
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Jul 8, 2017 00:23
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Herman is high on the Coleman index and only escaped that kimura by luck. Round 2 should be fun
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Jul 8, 2017 00:39
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Ed Herman turns red like he's Brock Lesnar during a fight.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:39
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lol
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Jul 8, 2017 00:41
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This fight is certainly Bellator worthy.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:42
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I appreciate that neither guy is defending much on the feet or the ground.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:46
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as i watch theebee suck tremendous amounts of rear end i think 'where is lord waffle beard?'
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Jul 8, 2017 00:46
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And we're back just in time for the main card.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:05
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Sick clone fight up next.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:13
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Let's go uh...bad star tattoo guy
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Jul 8, 2017 02:15
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Ratios and Tendency posted:Let's go uh...bad star tattoo guy I hate bad tattoos, go other guy
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Jul 8, 2017 02:17
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New contender for most egregious fence grab ever.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:17
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and again, Big John still does nothing.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:26
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Ratios and Tendency posted:and again, Big John still does nothing. he's bad, op
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Jul 8, 2017 02:29
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We are living in some sort of bizarro universe the only finish tonight has been by Tecia Torres.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:32
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Elias 
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Jul 8, 2017 02:41
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Just remembered this was on after heavily contemplating entering the world of MMA gambling with a Maynard bet earlier this afternoon. those cornrows lol Le Saboteur posted:We are living in some sort of bizarro universe the only finish tonight has been by Tecia Torres. Saw a gif of that, was pretty impressed. I'd never thought she looked that great before.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:50
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Elias moves like he's having a fit of the Brownes
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Jul 8, 2017 02:57
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This fights been pretty good but it seems really difficult to score.
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Jul 8, 2017 02:58
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Handsome Brad has looked good but if Handsome Elias can maintain positional control from this takedown it is his
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Jul 8, 2017 03:00
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He punched him right in the rear end in a top hat
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Jul 8, 2017 03:03
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:08 |
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chaleski posted:He punched him right in the rear end in a top hat Yeah that was cool
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Jul 8, 2017 03:04
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