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Shamalama owns and has trolled op quite hard imo
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Jul 24, 2017 01:32
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Universe Master posted:I like how he left Disney and went to Warner because Disney was like "Can't you just call a mermaid a mermaid and not a loving Narf" and he was all "NOOoooooooo, my vision" Holy poo poo yeah "narf". I couldnt convince myself that someone would write something that stupid into a movie so it had to be a real thing. No, its not a real thing...he really called his mystical being a "narf" on purpose, came up with that himself. The whole Narf story is the stupidest thing, and its all presented as if its part of a Chinese "bedtime story", which seems like a really lovely bedtime story to me, and also Narf doesnt seem like a very chinese word? Also it says that humans lost contact with the narfs because they were greedy for land and moved inland away from the ocean. Not expanded inland, but picked up their houses and went inland, apparently abandoning the ocean, because coastal areas have definitely not been densely populated forever. God The CRITIC thing though. The main guy goes to the movie critic for advice, and the critic tells him a bunch o fshit and it turns out to be a MAJOR plot point that everything the critic says is wrong and is causing the chick to die, and this one guy says "What kind of person would be so arrogant as to presume the intention of another human being? " about the critic. gently caress you MNS gently caress gently caress you goddamn. gently caress this garbage movie and its garbage director.
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Jul 24, 2017 01:45
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OP, your friend hates you. This is the only truly unwatchable M Night movie. The Happening is legitimately terrible in nearly any category you care to use but anyone can make fun of it so it's watchable. Lady in the Water is just slow, ponderous, masturbatory awfulness.
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Jul 24, 2017 03:05
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This movie holds a special place in my heart as "movie I kinda wanted to see but then read the wikipedia plot summary and then I vomited the most at how unnecessarily obfuscated the badic plot was" One evening, Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti), who became the superintendent of a Philadelphia apartment complex after his family was murdered, discovers Story (Bryce Dallas Howard), a naiad-like character (called a Narf) from the Blue World, in his building's pool, immediately rescuing her from an attack by a "Scrunt",[5] a grass-covered wolf-like creature that lies flat. Story is here to find the Author, a specific writer whose book will better humanity's future. After questioning residents Farber (Bob Balaban), Bell (Mary Beth Hurt), Dury (Jeffrey Wright), and five nameless smokers, Brown discovers the author, Rick Van (M. Night Shyamalan), who is writing The Cookbook, containing views and ideas so significant they will inspire a future President, a great Midwestern orator, to greatly change the world for the better. Van meeting Story eliminates his fear and sharpens his inner voice, but he learns he will be assassinated because of the controversial nature of his ideas. The Tartutic, an invincible simian trio that serve as the Blue World's peacekeepers, have forbidden that Story be attacked while returning home. The Scrunt nonetheless does just that, as Story is destined to be a great leader as well. To return safely, she will now need the help of a Symbolist, a Guardian, a Guild and a Healer. Story believes Heep to be her Guardian; Heep asks Farber, a West Coast émigré turned film critic, to help him figure out the others' identities. Working off movie tropes, Farber misadvises Heep, leading him to a flawed conclusion that Dury is the Symbolist, the smokers are the Guild, and Bell is the Healer. Heep asks Story how to "practice" for the confrontation but nearly dies in the process, convincing him he's not the Guardian. The next night, Farber's bad advice leads to their plan's immediate failure. In the confusion, Farber is killed and Story is mortally wounded by the Scrunt. Dury suddenly realizes his son Joey (Noah Gray-Cabey) is the Symbolist. Interpreting the information on cereal boxes, Joey deduces the true Guild is composed of seven sisters, that two new men must be present, and that the Healer is male, soon revealed to be Heep. He goes about healing Story by "bringing forth [his] energy" (his repressed grief). Story's departure starts again, but the Scrunt attacks; it is stopped by the gaze of Reggie (Freddy Rodríguez), a lopsidedly muscled tenant who is the true Guardian. Reggie's gaze, capable of compelling the Scrunt to slowly retreat, is distracted by the cry of the Great Eatlon, a giant eagle who will ferry Story home. When Reggie breaks eye contact, the Scrunt leaps, but the Tartutic arrive and drag it away. Heep thanks Story for saving his life as she hugs him goodbye. The Great Eatlon lands, enfolds Story in one of its wings, and takes flight. The film ends as each tenant watches as she is ferried into the storm. It's a normal plot, but we replaced every noun with a random series of letters. Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 03:26 on Jul 24, 2017 |
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Jul 24, 2017 03:24
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Watch the trailer for Avatar: The Last Airbender, and then watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. A good trailer leading to a bad movie?!? 
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Jul 24, 2017 03:39
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I hate his standup but he was okay in Parks and Rec.
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Jul 24, 2017 03:55
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Bogus Adventure posted:Watch the trailer for Avatar: The Last Airbender, and then watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. NO force in heaven or earth can make me watch that movie
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Jul 24, 2017 03:59
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Cleveland Heep Lol
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Jul 24, 2017 04:12
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Frankenstyle posted:I hate his standup but he was okay in Parks and Rec. His best role was in Heroes.
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Jul 24, 2017 04:16
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I hate every fcharacter Cleveland Heap is a gqarbage person who makes gross noises that sounds like he sturning into a zombie
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Jul 24, 2017 04:18
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Bismuth posted:NO force in heaven or earth can make me watch that movie Well, I guess it's fitting you left out Hell because that's what you have to watch if you go there. :-p
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Jul 24, 2017 04:25
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BIG PUFFY NIPS posted:Shamalama owns and has trolled op quite hard imo But then I found out it was an unironic attempt at making a good film, and that was the last M. Night Shyamalan film I watched. Though I always hope he can make a comeback
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Jul 24, 2017 04:26
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Mister Heep was my father Call me Cleveland
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Jul 24, 2017 04:34
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Dr. Quarex posted:Basically this, when I first saw it I loved it because I thought M. Night Shyamalan had made a self-parody film You should watch The Happening. It's one of the better Horror comedy films ever made, and the fact that the comedy was accidental makes it like 10X funnier.
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Jul 24, 2017 04:36
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Yah, watching it as a serious movie it's terrible. But you see Marky Mark be all serious with his terrible acting and it's a fuckin riot. It's sort of an accidental Starship Troopers.
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Jul 24, 2017 04:59
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 "Say 'hi' to your mother for me."
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Jul 24, 2017 05:05
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Dr. Quarex posted:Basically this, when I first saw it I loved it because I thought M. Night Shyamalan had made a self-parody film But it was a perfectly fine film? It was a goofy fairy tale with some shots at critics who really have been p unfair to him imo. sixth sense, unbreakable, signs, village, devil, split, the visit are all good movies written and directed by him not brilliant or anything but still seriously impressive for one guy happening is something else entirety tho no idea how anyone involved agreed that it should be released but i sure am glad they did
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Jul 24, 2017 08:21
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BIG PUFFY NIPS posted:But it was a perfectly fine film? Get the gently caress out of my thread and never come back
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Jul 24, 2017 08:25
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BrigadierSensible posted:The scene where the baddy wolf monsters kill the movie critic is so so bad. if you really wanna go down this rabbit hole, this worthless fuckstain actually wrote the book in question irl and had his publisher put it in children's picture book sections. and before you ask, it's bad. really bad. like "we only published this cuz u a multi-millionaire" bad i hope he dies vlad the impaler style, just rammed rear end-first on a fence stake and left there for a few days Fur20 fucked around with this message at 08:31 on Jul 24, 2017 |
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Jul 24, 2017 08:29
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Bismuth posted:Get the gently caress out of my thread and never come back your typing a bunch of mad words about a movie about mermaids and a dide with one swole arm in it its like you watched the movie sober or something lmao
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Jul 24, 2017 08:39
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I wonder how much better this movie would have been received if M. Night had cast literally anybody else as the author. I suspect "drastically better received."
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Jul 24, 2017 08:42
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also bryce dallas howerd is goddang gorgeous specially in the village
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Jul 24, 2017 08:42
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BIG PUFFY NIPS posted:your typing a bunch of mad words about a movie about mermaids and a dide with one swole arm in it its like you watched the movie sober or something lmao Shes not even a real mermaid shes just a bitch who sits in a shower the whole movie not having a sweet tail or showing her tits at all
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Jul 24, 2017 08:45
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The White Dragon posted:if you really wanna go down this rabbit hole, this worthless fuckstain actually wrote the book in question irl and had his publisher put it in children's picture book sections. and before you ask, it's bad. really bad. like "we only published this cuz u a multi-millionaire" bad Wait. What? Are you trying to tell me M. Night thinks the book that's supposed to save the world is a picture book he made depicting the movie?
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Jul 24, 2017 08:50
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Johny-on-the-Spot posted:Wait. What? Are you trying to tell me M. Night thinks the book that's supposed to save the world is a picture book he made depicting the movie? pretty sure yeah. i didn't see the movie but now that the thread's given me the summary for it, everything suddenly makes sense
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Jul 24, 2017 08:56
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He even manages to slip a little martyrdom in there; the nard tells his character that hes going to die before he sees his book change the world and hes all accepting of it like ah yes my destiny
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Jul 24, 2017 09:12
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Someone should send Mark Chapman a copy of the book and get his opinion.
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Jul 24, 2017 09:37
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Jul 24, 2017 09:44
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It's a bad movie but lmao at how mad some you are itt.
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Jul 24, 2017 10:01
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I always felt bad for the people who made Stir of Echoes because it came out like weeks after The Sixth Sense and got completely ignored despite being the better ghost movie.
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Jul 24, 2017 10:17
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Honky Dong Country posted:It's a bad movie but lmao at how mad some you are itt. Mostly because I was trapped, I couldn't think of a polite way to stop watching it and didnt want to hurt my friend's feelings
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Jul 24, 2017 10:29
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Bismuth posted:Mostly because I was trapped, I couldn't think of a polite way to stop watching it and didnt want to hurt my friend's feelings "Hey I really don't like this movie. Wanna do something else?" They're your friend be honest man. No way in hell that movie would be the first thing one of you likes that the other doesn't.
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Jul 24, 2017 10:31
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Honky Dong Country posted:"Hey I really don't like this movie. Wanna do something else?" I'm very timid IRL
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Jul 24, 2017 10:35
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BIG PUFFY NIPS posted:unbreakable, are all good movies written and directed by him No. That's it. I mean I don't hate the guy or anything, but that's it. Also I don't hate you, but maybe your eyes are a little broke?
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Jul 24, 2017 10:36
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Drunk Nerds posted:This movie holds a special place in my heart as "movie I kinda wanted to see but then read the wikipedia plot summary and then I vomited the most at how unnecessarily obfuscated the badic plot was" holy poo poo the bad monster is called scrunt
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Jul 24, 2017 10:53
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Jul 24, 2017 10:53
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CLEVELAND HEEP
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Jul 24, 2017 20:57
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KICK YOU IN SCRUNT NARF!
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Jul 24, 2017 21:16
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Wolfman's got narfs
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Jul 24, 2017 21:20
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Jul 25, 2017 05:23
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