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1. Uses the phrase "Red Pill" outside of discussing the Matrix 2. Discussing the Matrix 3. Has a John Waters mustache (double if he is John Waters) 4. Misses his friends from prison 5. Has a loyalty card at an erotic bakery 6. Working knowledge of runes (non-Tolkien) 7. Working knowledge of Elvish 8. Won't shut the hell up about bitcoin 9. Judges all dogs on their promise as "the next Air Bud" 10. "Jokes" that he sold one or more teeth 11. Unfamiliar with the interview process 12. Familiar with Reddit's ban appeal process 13. Is banned from both the good AND the bad Kroger's |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:05
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 03:20 |
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He claims that "dirt bike is the sport of kings." He toured the Miller Lite factory for his 21st, 35th, and 36th birthday parties. He has a favorite bail bondsman. |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:13
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| Familiar with Reddit | |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:17
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14. Moves from place to place in a manner that can only be described as "creeping." 15. Twines himself around poles, tree trunks etc. 16. Has an entire cabinet full of binoculars. ---------------- |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:20
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Brags that he has never purchased a pair of pants for himself. All of his clothes are cargo. Wore a "Pussy Patrol" t-shirt to your grandmother's funeral. His face tattoo says "Juicy" His nickname is derived from a venomous animal. That animal is the platypus. |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:27
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Favorite ice-breaker: "your scent is familiar" Claims the best way to really know a person is to watch them sleep. Has a "switchblade comb" that he uses exclusively to comb his side burns and moustache. Brags about how moist his skin stays year round.
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Aug 10, 2017 16:37
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Says that he's between militias right now, but has some good leads. He has never voluntarily read a book. His favorite book is 1984 but for all the wrong reasons. He considers "furry" to be a racial slur. Has received a cease and desist letter from more than one children's cartoon studio. |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:48
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Jolo posted:Favorite ice-breaker: "your scent is familiar" ----- |
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Aug 10, 2017 17:09
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Legally sound understanding of trespassing. No longer bothers to ask if they have a warrant. Hopes to break into foot modelling. |
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Aug 10, 2017 17:11
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Subtle cues during lovemaking are showing a possible monster truck fetish. Ex: "Going to rock you like Gravedigger rocked that flaming car pile" You notice he has reoccurring monthly subscriptions for Highlights magazine and when questioned he genuinely enjoys the puzzles and games. Doesn't own a belt, claims suspenders are the 'real mans' choice
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Aug 10, 2017 17:25
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Defends SJWs on Facebook to appear like he's not a Creeper |
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Aug 10, 2017 17:31
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Thinks Eminem is the best rapper alive and reminds you it's not just because he's white |
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Aug 10, 2017 17:54
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| You met him rather spontaneously when he jumped out from behind the bushes you were trimming | |
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Aug 10, 2017 18:01
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-green and blocky -very quiet -blows up when you get too close
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Aug 10, 2017 18:06
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City of Glompton posted:-green and blocky |
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Aug 10, 2017 18:11
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insists he doesnt look like the pokemon "stupid loving bitch" despite his ex giving him a pokemon card to show him he does |
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Aug 10, 2017 18:11
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can transform into a bat only goes outside at night has a sickly, craven manservant named renfield that eats spiders (willingly) really into nibbling your neck during cuddle seshes has multiple exes who now live with him at his mansion in his basement |
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Aug 10, 2017 18:15
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:
Jolo posted:
vanisher posted:Doesn't own a belt, claims suspenders are the 'real mans' choice City of Glompton posted:-green and blocky these are awesome and if you do these i will be your friend
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Aug 10, 2017 18:26
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The perfect night, your boyfriend took you to the opening of the movie you have been waiting to see all year. Afterwards, you went to that restaurant you have always been meaning to try, and your favorite meal was already waiting at the best table of the house. A desert you have never tried came up afterwards, and it was unbelievable. You go back to his place, and spend a wonderful night together, the type that the steamiest of romance novels rarely holds a candle to. You wake up to breakfast in bed, with a tray of all your favorites on display. Everything done just the way you want, with you tucked in and the tray of delicious but slightly messy food laying over you on the tray. The tray that you cannot move, because you are tucked in so tight, and is so abundant with your favorite food. You look down. There. Are. No. Napkins!
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Aug 10, 2017 19:35
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chainsaw collection |
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Aug 10, 2017 19:43
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when he goes down on you he wafts your oval office sink like a pussy sommelier |
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Aug 10, 2017 19:49
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When prince wannabe fuckin' charming rolls up in his Honda Civic with a custom spoiler singing "Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes boyyyyy" and of course it's that song because creepers always know which tunes are stuck in your head at any given moment. |
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Aug 10, 2017 19:52
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he says he's really more of a "dog person" has said that he doesn't really 'get' Quentin Tarantino movies won't drink a beer if it even mentions fruit on the label
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Aug 10, 2017 20:13
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keeps "complimenting" you on how mature you are for your age steals fries from your happy meal |
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Aug 10, 2017 20:25
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Makes fries for your happy meal |
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Aug 10, 2017 21:04
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- owns a variety of large flat pans - cupboards overflowing with items such as strawberries, nutella, powdered sugar, aged cheeses - suspiciously proficient at flipping floppy round objects
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Aug 10, 2017 21:15
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sore toes are a good indicator all that tip-toeing around but if you also notice they are wearing all black and have their face covered when they come home for work i have an alternative explanation for you. paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Aug 10, 2017 21:19
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noticeably perks up in the proximity of any van |
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Aug 10, 2017 21:28
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"well actually 'manga' means..." He owns a variety of grappling hooks and Domino masks. |
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Aug 10, 2017 21:49
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He owns all of the Ayn Rand movies on HD DVD. |
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Aug 10, 2017 21:53
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Manifisto posted:- owns a variety of large flat pans This post Keyser Soze'd me. Couple more: - threads his tucked in shirt out of his pants' flyhole. "It draws the attention" - constantly trying to start conversations about his ferret - impersonates Mike Meyer's character from The Love Guru and then gets annoyed and storms out when no one understands the reference
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Aug 10, 2017 21:54
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He has an ordered list of favorite criminals. Most of his wardrobe is mesh. He only owns shirts with edgy slogans. He says "butthurt" Everything he knows about politics he learned from South Park. |
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Aug 10, 2017 21:57
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Is an advocate for the rights of those with a restraining order against them. Asks you to hold his gun when pulled over. First sentence optional. |
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Aug 10, 2017 22:03
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Asks you to watch a "really cool talk with Gavin McInnes" Wears a black fred Perry Polo with yellow banding. Is looking forward to the Based Stick man comic book |
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Aug 10, 2017 22:05
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he keeps asking to pee on me but "outside the boring privacy of home" |
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Aug 10, 2017 22:54
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Jolo posted:
Only hair on his head is side burns and moustache.
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Aug 11, 2017 00:15
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He has a hair collection. None of it is his. |
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Aug 11, 2017 01:39
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he posts in BYOB 
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Aug 11, 2017 01:49
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Starman Super DX posted:he posts in GBS |
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Aug 11, 2017 03:07
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 03:20 |
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first name is "jeeper" |
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Aug 11, 2017 04:35
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