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comes out of a public restroom with a big grin
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Aug 11, 2017 06:10
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he has a triangle haircut |
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Aug 11, 2017 07:25
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He: * Recreates famous train derailment and crash scenes with his model railroad, and is a top 100 member of an online community of fellow accident scene recreation enthusiasts. * Buys five pound blocks of pimento loaf and three gallon tubs of mustard at the local food service cash n' carry, and completely consumes both regardless of the expiration date. * Unconsciously and rapidly clenches and unclenches his right hand when walking through the peanut butter aisle at the grocery store. * Scatters store-brand soda cans in the field behind the Little League diamond, "in case the kids get thirsty and searching." * Always puts on a brand new pair of socks each day, instead of washing his worn pairs. Except he never gets rid of his used and dirty socks, either. ---------------- |
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Aug 11, 2017 08:15
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body pillow full of bones |
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Aug 11, 2017 11:39
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| Tells you he's solved the Trolley Problem. | |
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Aug 11, 2017 12:48
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So I Dated a Millipede - so what |
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Aug 11, 2017 13:20
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has a tall standing mirror that he keeps covered in black satin, which he only removes so he can hiss at his own reflection
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Aug 11, 2017 13:34
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is a soil-dwelling amoeba - a brainless, single-celled organism, often containing multiple nuclei; favorite movie is titanic; favorite song is that song from titanic
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Aug 11, 2017 13:37
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cda posted:Tells you he's solved the Trolley Problem. When prompted to continue, says he has "real world experience" with the problem but won't give any further details. |
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Aug 11, 2017 15:43
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Asks if you like being tied up. |
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Aug 11, 2017 15:46
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google THIS posted:Asks if you like being tied up. less kinkshame version: asks if you're any good at untying knots under movement constraints |
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Aug 11, 2017 16:15
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mysteriously hangs back and suggests going another way when you get close to a school |
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Aug 11, 2017 16:16
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mysteriously hangs back and suggests going another way when you get close to the sunlight |
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Aug 11, 2017 16:16
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google THIS posted:Asks if you like being tied up. Asks if you would like to be untied, then laughs. Kind of a late warning sign though.
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Aug 11, 2017 16:48
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Refuses to sit and eat a meal at the table like a normal couple Hides from you under a small leaf to avoid scaring prey Seems to put more energy into working on his web than making the relationship work (you are dating a spider) |
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Aug 11, 2017 16:49
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vanisher posted:Refuses to sit and eat a meal at the table like a normal couple or perhaps tim berners-lee? does he hide under leaves?
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Aug 11, 2017 16:52
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He collects cracked porcelain dolls. M&M flavor vote truther. Does not acknowledge the sanctity of the leave a penny/take a penny jar. Eats exactly one Oreo per snack. Plays bang, marry, kill with local livestock. |
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Aug 11, 2017 16:55
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alnilam posted:less kinkshame version: asks if you're any good at untying knots under movement constraints Asks if you like being tied up while looking wistfully at a nearby trolley track junction. |
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Aug 11, 2017 18:35
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- is an arthropod - chitinous exoskeleton - four pairs of eyes - unhealthy obsession with karen, our neighbor - has two body segments - has chelicerae paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Aug 11, 2017 19:02
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-refers to you as 'the human one' when talking to his parents -keeps saying "soon, I'm still doing the virility exercises" when talking to his parents -starts gurgling and lets out a bit of foam from his proboscis whenever you mention a missed call from his parents -doesn't blink -has sickly green skin and refers to it as his 'tan' |
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Aug 11, 2017 19:24
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I Was The Fury posted:-refers to you as 'the human one' when talking to his parents how did zorak get out of space jail anyway |
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Aug 11, 2017 19:29
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alnilam posted:how did zorak get out of space jail anyway His parents posted space-bail |
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Aug 11, 2017 19:30
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lmbo calrissian posted:he has a triangle haircut no that means hes a chad which means hes very cool |
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Aug 11, 2017 21:36
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he doesn't use vowels when he speaks
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Aug 11, 2017 22:03
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his hobby is overloading his pockets.
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Aug 11, 2017 22:06
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He thinks an all day picnic is staying at the all you can eat buffet from open to close. Before you get kicked out he stuffs your pockets with soup When you get arrested with him for shoplifting from the adult book store he insisted he "only needed batteries, let's run in real quick it'll be fun!". He then talks you into stealing something while he distracts the clerk. His distraction was ravenously eating the edible panties while you stuff a sex toy into your purse. How the gently caress were you supposed to know it was a thermos? You should've been clued in though by the fact he was on a first name basis with the clerk All the screensavers on his computer, phone and tablet are blurry pictures of you from about the distance of a restraining order away He mutters to himself, licks his lips and drools while staring at your shoes He's wearing your shoes while he's doing it Is more than happy to go with you to your niece's baptism for the opportunity to "get his drink on" You realize he looks familiar when you're in line at the post office. On the plus side one phone call nets you a $50k reward! Smiles and hums to himself while folding your underwear He's wearing your underwear AND your shoes It's not a big deal BUT THEY AREN'T COORDINATED https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 11, 2017 22:36
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Randomly interjwcts a pause and a "mmmmm"before certain words |
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Aug 11, 2017 22:40
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Splatmaster posted:He thinks an all day picnic is staying at the all you can eat buffet from open to close. Before you get kicked out he stuffs your pockets with soup apparently you're really good at posts seething with phony second-hand embarrassment. 
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Aug 11, 2017 23:12
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Asks you to keep his zip off pant legs in your purse. |
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Aug 12, 2017 09:59
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doesn't think that "Cow Tools" is funny
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Aug 12, 2017 18:45
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Always insists on going to the clothing-optional beach, where he always undresses and always "spreads 'em". Joke about the time he and a friend got into a terrible car accident while drunk driving, and how he took $15 from his dying friend's wallet to even up their bar bill. Has gotten into numerous shouting matches with his dad that devolve into them grappling together and then cuddling on the floor for hours. Claims it's healthy and therapeutic. Keeps road flares, ether, duct tape, and the first two Rammstein albums in the trunk of his car at all times. Wants to adopt a dog that's so big and mean, it makes him "feel like a bitch". Is the sole employee and manager of a zero-traffic pretzel stand at the local dying mall. Says that hygiene is totally optional, no one really cares. ---------------- |
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Aug 12, 2017 20:17
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mouth breathes through his hockey mask plays the xylophone with his testicles asks you if ou're gonna eat your skin when you go to KFC crunches loudly when he eats the bones too asks people at other tables for their skin/bones always checks his zipper after saying "that reminds me..." brags about the times he really "F'd that guy up!" playing dodge ball in the 3rd grade. You were screaming at the top of your lungs denying you knew him right after it happened. Yesterday. has tattoos that are obviously bad attempts at making a tattoo with a permanent marker it's the word "tatoo" misspelled several times https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 12, 2017 21:02
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keeps musing about how easy it would be to make a murder look like an accident |
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Aug 13, 2017 07:47
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Claims to be fidget-spinner world champion then shouts at you and starts crying when you smudge the fresh ink on his clearly just-printed certificate . In fact it is just the word CERTIFICATE printed in Times New Roman size 12 at the top of a plain white piece of paper in portrait perspective. |
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Aug 14, 2017 18:05
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mister magpie posted:- is an arthropod I hate when franz kafka characters wave their busy feelers at me and my friends |
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Aug 14, 2017 18:20
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My boyfriend was rudely satired and caricatured in one of the lesser known Nicki Minaj/John Waters club bangers, do we have grounds to sue SNL?
crimes |
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Aug 14, 2017 18:29
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:21 |
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:My boyfriend was rudely satired and caricatured in one of the lesser known Nicki Minaj/John Waters club bangers, do we have grounds to sue SNL? yes |
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Aug 15, 2017 18:53
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