mademoiselle posted:

To clean your blade you need to follow the story of the 47? 700? the whatever number of great Samurai Retainers in their quest for revenge for their master (much like my quest to get this doctor DUDE I mentioned who thinks just because he can give people PENICILLIN he must be special or something.)

I wrote these directions myself. They are used by the top blade-wielders in the world. So, just me.

Step one: Hold your holy blade up to the great stoking fire of Kuiinshen Garratano and beg with all your heart for a sequel to Pulp Fiction.

Step two: When your heart is pure of all doubt of the greatness of Hattori Hanzo, visualize Lucy Liu (anime form)

Step three: Let the spirit of this desire overcome you.
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Step 23: clean up and have mom bring you the oil you bought from Japan on Ebay, but that you tell people you "found in a market in Kyoto when you were living there".

Step 24: Tell your mom to get the gently caress out, you're REPLENISHING YOUR WEAPON.

Step 25: If it's taco night, the next steps can wait an hour or two.

Step 26: Now remember the greatness of your AMERICAN BLADE. Because Trump is just getting ready to push the button on the economy.

Step 27: Oh yeah, remember that you're gonna shuffle over to the SSI office tomorrow.

Step 28: Find the most fragrant sock you have (or use your gf's thongs like I do)

Step 29: Wipe. Replace scabbard if you have not yet killed an enemy that day.

Step 30: Watch Ghost in the Shell the live action movie. (Well actually for you, you should probably stick with the manga.)