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There's a lot of talk about so called "smart" homes and how convenient they make life but what if you're dumb? Huh? It's not fair that society places so much importance on being smart while ignoring us idiots and the dumb devs behind the stupid house movement. Post any cool dumb house apps you've come across so we can get the word out: Doorify: Can't remember if you locked the door when you left the house? With the Doorify app you need not worry about these things anymore. The doorify app will randomly lock and unlock doors and windows as well as turn on and off any electric appliance in the house. Now the next time you're worrying about whether or not the stove is on you can confidently tell yourself: Maybe! My ligt app: While it's not clear whether the devs deliberately misspelled light or if it's some kind of hacker abbreviation what is clear is the my ligt app is perfect for people who are burdened with the arduous task of turning on and off light switches. Simply remove the plate on every light switch in the house, attach the my ligt app dongle to the exposed wires and the next time you need to turn on or off a light simply open your my ligt app on your phone and put in a switch on or switch off command! (command may take up to 15 seconds to process.) Let there be ligt! Alarmgler4: The anti burgler alarm Alarmgler4 is back with it's 4th open beta release. This time patched so that it doesn't continuously open and close any garage door within 50 feet of it! Alarmgler4 uses patented algoulhrythm© technology to detect and react to any possible threat by calling for help to report it's findings in what police describe as a "creepy hosed up kidnapper voice." Reviews so far have been mostly positive with user's reporting that their dog gets arrested 40% less often by the app. (Company not responsible if user's 911 service is disconnected.) |
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Dec 20, 2017 23:10
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:32 |
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adequately intelligent house constantly reassures you that david foster wallace is overrated and the extended warranty, while not strictly necessary, provides valuable peace of mind |
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Dec 21, 2017 00:21
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| Flowers for Algernon: The House | |
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Dec 21, 2017 00:27
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Bumper stickers except for houses. "My other house is your wife's when you're not home." "Keep knocking, I'm reloading my gun." Calvin peeing on the homeowner's association symbol
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Dec 21, 2017 00:33
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house nutz - truck nutz but for houses For Christmas: You attach some mistletoe to the nutz For Halloween: You put a white cloth over the nutz and color in eyes, or maybe you draw a jack o lantern face on each nut, ot mix and match On Thanksgiving: Everyone comes out and tells the nutz how thankful they are for something
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Dec 21, 2017 19:55
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autonomous vehicles, by aiming to be cautious and good, are discriminatory against the vast majority of drivers who are horrible, drunk, self entitled, and inattentive |
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Dec 21, 2017 19:57
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house bumper sticket: My Shed is on the Honor Roll at Build It U
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Dec 21, 2017 20:00
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My smart house joined Mensa and lords it's superior intellect over me by shouting out the answers when I try to watch Jeopardy! and solving Wheel of Fortune puzzles for me. It's cool when it gets a call sometimes though because someone does a mobile shoutout on Cash Cab. At least we both agree that Ben Bailey is pretty cool but I don't think posting my weekly toilet habits on my Facebook page is right- I wonder if my home owner's association can scold it...
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Dec 21, 2017 21:22
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Smart house weaponizes your septic tank. You are now at war with your neighborhood watch!
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Dec 21, 2017 21:23
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wouldn't an idiot be the sort to idiotically buy a smart house they can't use, though?Jolo posted:house nutz - truck nutz but for houses sometimes, in the late spring of May when it isn't raining so much, it's really nice to go sit outside on a stump, crack open a beer, and just admire the house nutz you've got sprawling all over the back forty of your land. little bit of honeysuckle paradise on this Earth, bar none. ---------------- |
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Dec 22, 2017 04:43
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My smart house keeps quoting Zizek and telling me home ownership is a social construct. I think it has termites. |
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Dec 22, 2017 12:20
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:32 |
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 Do not use Uberhouse the app that lets you overclock your home. I played around with it just a little bit to see what it was like and now my house is all hosed up. The hallways are slow as gently caress, the living doesn't work anymore and the toilet is in Portuguese.
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Dec 22, 2017 19:33
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