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My wife has been trying to spice up our sex lives recently and she bought a package of toys for us. Most of them are fun, or at least not boring. The usual stuff, I guess. One of them was something neither of us had ever seen before. It was like a silicone cock ring connected to about 10" of soft silicone rope (for lack of a better word). At the end of the rope was this little rear end dildo about as long as my forefinger. It had a vibrator thingy inside. It was shaped kind of like an aerodynamic mouse, I guess. The furry kind, not the one on your computer. What I think you're supposed to do with it is slip the cock ring on, then shove the business end of the rope somewhere fun, either on him or her? Anyway, she shoved it up my rear end. It felt pretty good. The orgasm was explosive. I am pretty sure it caused that little fucker to crawl in a bit deeper. After we were done, she attempted to pull it out for me. Not happening. Felt extremely weird to have someone trying to yank a large turd sized object out of my rear end, that is for sure. After awhile, she gave a good tug and I felt a sensation like when a condom breaks, only in my butthole. 'Oh no" she said. I whimpered. Luckily though, I had eaten a mighty dinner of chicken thighs and broccoli and all I had to do was go to the bathroom and pull my knees up to my chest like I have seen on diagrams several times here on GBS and that little bastard shat right out. You guys saved my life. Thank you.
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Dec 30, 2017 14:44
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 09:45 |
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Shut up GE Cafe
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Dec 30, 2017 14:46
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ok
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Dec 30, 2017 14:46
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What's his name op?
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Dec 30, 2017 14:47
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Jesustheastronaut! posted:What's his name op? tara I don't know what GE Cafe is
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Dec 30, 2017 14:48
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Sounds like fun if you need a third let me know
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Dec 30, 2017 14:50
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have you considered getting a husband instead, OP
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Dec 30, 2017 14:50
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 good luck in your future endeavors
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Dec 30, 2017 14:53
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Ponies Ist Krieg posted:Sounds like fun if you need a third let me know it was super awesome until the end. I tried to find a picture of the thing, but I failed.
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Dec 30, 2017 14:54
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possibly the ultimate humblebrag
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Dec 30, 2017 14:57
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You need a flared base for anal toys op good luck in your future endeavors
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Dec 30, 2017 14:57
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My dog swallowed some yarn and I had to do the same once, tell your wife to coax not yank and also consider expressing your glands while she's back there
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Dec 30, 2017 15:13
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Nah it's like a bandaid you just have to rip it out with one good hard pull
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Dec 30, 2017 15:17
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Hell Yeah posted:possibly the ultimate humblebrag I didn't mean for t to be. I just wanted to pint out that every once in awhile, GBS comes through.
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Dec 30, 2017 15:18
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this was a real emotional roller coaster op, voted 5.
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Dec 30, 2017 15:19
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Blue Train posted:Nah it's like a bandaid you just have to rip it out with one good hard pull That techniques forbidden
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Dec 30, 2017 15:21
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Sounds like a job for a Squatty PottyTM
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Dec 30, 2017 15:25
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Hell Yeah posted:possibly the ultimate humblebrag lmao
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Dec 30, 2017 15:28
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Jesustheastronaut! posted:What's his name op? Frankie
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Dec 30, 2017 15:32
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Glad it all worked out in the end OP.
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Dec 30, 2017 15:32
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Thank you for calling GBS Technical Assistance, please remember to fill out the survey if our support has been helpful to you and your pleasurable man hole.
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Dec 30, 2017 15:35
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Please send me the broken bits. I will repair it for you. No need to wash them.
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Dec 30, 2017 15:39
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Maybe it was not for asses
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Dec 30, 2017 15:43
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OP you're no Hakan/
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Dec 30, 2017 15:46
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Testikles posted:Maybe it was not for asses Does not compute
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Dec 30, 2017 15:52
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Testikles posted:Maybe it was not for asses son of a bitch
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Dec 30, 2017 16:12
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The Dregs posted:tara SAclopedia to the rescue.
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Dec 30, 2017 16:12
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ditty bout my clitty posted:SAclopedia to the rescue. I looked it up. i couldn't finish it. it is too fresh in my mind
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Dec 30, 2017 16:23
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For the poor curious bastards who don't know the enchanting story of GE cafe aka pwn: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1882534
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Dec 30, 2017 16:23
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The Dregs posted:My wife has been trying to spice up our sex lives recently and she bought a package of toys for us. Most of them are fun, or at least not boring. The usual stuff, I guess. One of them was something neither of us had ever seen before. It was like a silicone cock ring connected to about 10" of soft silicone rope (for lack of a better word). At the end of the rope was this little rear end dildo about as long as my forefinger. It had a vibrator thingy inside. It was shaped kind of like an aerodynamic mouse, I guess. The furry kind, not the one on your computer. What I think you're supposed to do with it is slip the cock ring on, then shove the business end of the rope somewhere fun, either on him or her? Anyway, she shoved it up my rear end. It felt pretty good. Haha woah look at this guy who knows how to poo poo without crying + feeling ashamed about it.
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Dec 30, 2017 16:25
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My wife broke my rear end off with a sex toy last night.
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Dec 30, 2017 16:26
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Yeah but you can't say it didn't already have a crack in it
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Dec 30, 2017 16:35
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since you like having stuff in your rear end, why bother with a wife if you're gay?
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Dec 30, 2017 16:45
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Sounds like you had quite the assperience op!
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Dec 30, 2017 16:48
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Pretty sure that wasn't supposed to go up the B-hole.
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Dec 30, 2017 17:18
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Creamed Cormp posted:since you like having stuff in your rear end, why bother with a wife if you're gay? prude
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Dec 30, 2017 17:22
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The Dregs posted:prude I'm not judging, it's entirely fine to be homosexual nowadays, I 100% support your rights to marry and all.
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Dec 30, 2017 17:28
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Thats a bummer
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Dec 30, 2017 17:30
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ditty bout my clitty posted:Shut up GE Cafe I wonder if that fat gently caress is still alive or not.
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Dec 30, 2017 17:30
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 09:45 |
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Creamed Cormp posted:I'm not judging, it's entirely fine to be homosexual nowadays, I 100% support your rights to marry and all. lol
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Dec 30, 2017 17:31
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