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Strumpie posted:just put flyers up advertising free nuts at makeout point, wait for all the squirrels to turn up, then press the button on the bomb you buried under makeout point beforehand. I had to interrupt our staff meeting not once, but twice, because my manager and a coworker could shut the gently caress up about Covid. I literally had to say, “okay guys can we be done now? This is a staff meeting and if the two of you want to chat up on Covid do it on your time, not mine.” This response to the squirrel detail is what I should have said in my meeting.
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Aug 3, 2020 22:34
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Sickening posted:I hope you have some iron clad job security because drat, that is borderline wreckless. Actually, strangely, after the meeting both people thanked me for breaking this up. After six years here, I have a reputation for not putting up with bullshit and things that waste people’s time. My favorite tactic is to remind people that a 60 minute meeting weekly staff meeting costs a thousand dollars and 15 minutes spent in a rabbit hole about COVID is $250 plus time you won’t get back. Secrets to a good meeting: Stay on agenda. Stay on topic. Have good time management. Let everyone feel heard. Include everyone. Manage airtime. Have a desired outcome.
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Aug 4, 2020 15:04
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RFC2324 posted:gonzo has always been problematic as gently caress Gonzo isn’t crazy. Gonzo is just high af and/or tripping balls all the time. Gonzo would have fit right in with the Merry Pranksters.
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Aug 8, 2020 15:54
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Now I want to know the three hole punch trick. I hope it’s that one weird trick that every it security specialist hates.
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Aug 22, 2020 16:13
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Weedle posted:oh my god. the husbands who are tech guys. we had a tech guy husband set up our entire kindergarten faculty, unbeknownst to us, with an enterprise dropbox plan that they were all splitting the cost of out of their own pocket. we have enterprise o365 and we've been telling them about onedrive for like five loving years The missus is setting up a brand new charter organization from scratch and I’ve been their IT help until they hire a guy. I got stuff like gmail and web hosting set up for their registration site but refused to make recommendations on hardware and stuff. My thinking was that they should hire a person and let them make direct decisions about the gear they would be supporting. So they hired a guy last week and I happily turned over all of my credentials for the various sites after making his account super user everywhere. The guy was/is so happy, I mean over the moon grateful, when I did that. I think he was expecting “husband of the CEO is an IT guy with opinions” -type shenanigans. Frankly I couldn’t wait to be rid of all of it. Working for a spouse pro bono? Nuh-uh. No way. No how. I was also relieved when we finally got three hundred iPads out of our garage. It was fun to get the points on our credit card, though.
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Aug 27, 2020 17:39
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Dirt Road Junglist posted:Oh, so meanwhile... “For affected employees, we are helping them find the next step in their careers, whether within our company or a new opportunity.” Uh huh
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Aug 28, 2020 04:05
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Kurieg posted:Please implement a single animal communication standard, as MOIP and WOIP are incompatible and are causing crossbark issues. For all the pings and fingers and jitter and chatter, I’m surprised there aren’t more animal metaphors in IT.
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Sep 15, 2020 18:37
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sfwarlock posted:I can see the next week of my life, and it's going to be a repeat of this chucklefuck going "can I skip THIS step? what about THIS one? oh c'mon you have to let me skip SOMETHING... what about THIS one?" gently caress this loving motherfucker for loving making you so irritated that you posted this story and triggering me. I once was in charge of a hardware refresh for an IVR so I deciphered how the existing one was set up with the help of the IVR team and built a new IVR in a lab on the new hardware. For various reasons the lab environment couldn’t be “turned into new prod” but had to be formatted and rebuilt from scratch. My step by step instructions were something like twenty pages but they were bombproof. I literally gave them to an intern who was able to build an IVR from scratch using only my document. So I ship the servers and the document to the site and they start building and when it’s done everything is hosed. Nothing works, database won’t initialize, no dialtones, poo poo won’t boot properly, nothing. After getting yelled at for my bullshit doc (but the intern came to my defense!) by the site manager, it turns out the first two pages about installing the Sun One directory server on a pair of machines that handled service auth between all the different boxes were skipped by the order of the site manager “because we use windows here”. No, he hadn’t tried setting up the Genesis software to use AD. He literally just skipped two pages of install instructions all the while talking bullshit about my abilities. What a piece of poo poo.
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Sep 22, 2020 02:20
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Methanar posted:comedy option I'll see your NFS drive and raise you Windows mapped drives! https://tntdrive.com/
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Sep 22, 2020 19:40
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sfwarlock posted:This has gone exactly as I expected. Kill me. Maybe try condensing the steps in the doc? Like instead of; 1. Do a thing 2. Do another thing 3. Do a third thing Try 1. Do a thing then do another thing 2. Do a third thing It’s pointless and stupid, but if you can say “we reduced the steps from twenty to fifteen “ then you can be rid of this exercise.
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Oct 1, 2020 17:51
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guppy posted:Also, you will teach them that they were right to demand this, and they will just learn to make similar demands in the future. Good points all. Teach me for making a smirky response.
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Oct 1, 2020 23:27
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Dear Ben- Don’t ever let me catch you alone in a room with no cameras. Ever. Thanks Ants posted:That environment is toxic, Ben and Larry see their role as taking shits on you. The only answer is to murder Like Lieutenant Hanna said in “Heat”: quote:
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Oct 2, 2020 00:48
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RFC2324 posted:I'm going to guess it runs ever 10 minutes and currently takes 4:30 to complete If it takes 4:30 to complete but runs every ten minutes, the job still completes every ten minutes. 
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Oct 7, 2020 16:46
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On a call with a team from $customer. It’s an existing team but they are new to best practices for engaging with support. During this monthly check-in a lead lets me know that he’s been having a problem and doesn’t know what to do. I say my usual “Open a support case and allow one of the six thousand support engineers who are waiting for your call 24x7x365 to help you. If you’d opened a support case rather than waiting until this call you’d have had an answer by now. So open a case and DM me the number and I’ll shepherd it through so you get an answer right quick.” Then jackass from my team, the same jackass who complains that he’s super slammed all the time and needs people to Okay fuckface: The reason why thy don’t know best practices and how to be efficient is because you inject yourself into every process where you. are. not. needed. Also: I am support and you are pre-sales so stay in your loving lane. Go away forever.
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Oct 16, 2020 06:05
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Renegret posted:This is why I'll never be bad management. FTFY
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Oct 16, 2020 15:14
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I used to torture Comcast helpdesk folks because Comcast, and got called out about it in one of these threads for being an rear end in a top hat. Y'all were right to do so and I am now a lot nicer and far more patient on the phone in general. That said, I apologize to all of you helpdesk folk because drat, that poo poo seems just absolutely miserable. PTSD from a tech job? Double drat.
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Oct 20, 2020 22:09
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ConfusedUs posted:Oh man, that was you? We were not kind. Heh. Yeah I got pretty roasted, but deservedly so. Just because Comcast (and most call-center-owning companies) is/are poo poo is not an excuse to bash on helpdesk phone jockeys. This thread has certainly showed me that helpdesk support has basically zero agency over the conditions they work in.
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Oct 21, 2020 16:00
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Motronic posted:We used to use all kinds of those things back in the day when physical, cabled KVMs were a thing. Wait what? What else is there?
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Oct 23, 2020 00:44
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These stories sound like a thread in their own right.
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Oct 23, 2020 14:44
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Guy Axlerod posted:I love when the top google hit is a post describing my exact issue and the only answer is "Just google it you simpleton". 
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Nov 16, 2020 00:50
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Arquinsiel posted:I've seen that happen with myself TBH. I used to know the D&D 3.X rules by heart. Anything in the three core books I could tell you with a few second's thought. Now I'm lucky if I can remember how basic combat works in a much simpler game. The half-orc is the only playable race that can be a fighter/assassin in AD&D. But I have no idea how saving throws work in 5E. For some reason 5E breaks my brain in places.
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Dec 6, 2020 19:21
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spankmeister posted:5e is way easier and more fun to play than any D&D. Combat wise anyway. Saving throws aside, I agree with you. I think it was 3E where you got an extra attack every +5 you had, so combat at high levels got stupid when you had +37 to hit. And god help us with THAC0.
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Dec 7, 2020 04:38
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What was dumb about the descending bonus system is that in this example you swung at +39, then +34, then +31 all the way down, even though you were fighting a dude with 50 AC meaning that only the first two attacks had any meaningful chance to hit and the next seven were basically hoping for a nat20. It gummed up the game big time. But the D&D thread is that way and I’ll stop now.
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Dec 7, 2020 05:12
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I have a QR code for my wireless network SSID and password taped inside of the door to the pantry in our kitchen. I and the missus have found it much easier to tell people to scan the code with their phone when asked “do you have wifi?”
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Dec 15, 2020 15:51
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NoOoooOOOOooo! Pull up thread! Pull up! I’d rather we stay in the QRC derail than the impending coffee derail. 
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Dec 15, 2020 19:54
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DelphiAegis posted:If and when company can visit again I might genuinely look into this. On a scale of 1-10 how absurdly difficult is this to set up? I’m not sure if 1 is easy or ten is easy. So if you can go to a web site, enter in a few things, select a few things and click print, you’ll have a QR code in five minutes or less.
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Dec 16, 2020 06:17
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Methanar posted:My company regularly demonstrates to our TAMs that we are not vendor locked in and it gives us fat discounts. Psssst. AWS gives fat discounts to customers locked to it as well.
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Dec 28, 2020 06:44
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GnarlyCharlie4u posted:So apparently my work has a company LinkedIn account. SELECT * FROM tEmployees WHERE DATEDIFF(YY,hiredate,getdate()) = 16 
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Jan 21, 2021 17:43
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Weedle posted:makes sense to me. they can stand on the porch if they want to talk. if they want to come inside they can ask a judge I was watching a show with my kids and the scene was a federal agent standing on the porch grilling a high schooler with no other adult present. They two then went into the high schoolers house in which the fed continued the interrogation. My pre-teen daughter was full of outrage. “Why doesn’t the kid tell the fed to leave? Why does he keep taking? Why doesn’t he call his dad and say there’s a cop here bothering me?” I am a proud papa and this is my acab story. /derail
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Feb 5, 2021 01:02
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I came dangerously close to owning a thing tonight. I am on the board of directors for my kids’ sportsball teams and tonight was another clowncar of a board meeting. The topic of the night was the amount it cost to store files on the web hosting company (apparently different clubs can upload stuff to it where they will be saved forever and we have stuff in there from 2004). Guy says that we can save a bunch if we delete “old files” which queues up an unmoderated shitshow of a discussion about how to delete them, who is allowed to delete them, when should we delete them, etc. the conversation eventually starts to spiral with people suggesting downloading the old files to an external drive and then backing up THAT to g-drive somewhere. Exasperated, I break in and say, “No, there will not be any downloading, any backing up, and copying or uploading. These documents are to be deleted. Why are we going to back them up more? The bylaws state that all uploaded documents shall be retained for two years, so at two years plus one nanosecond from the creation date the files are getting purged with a script.” Half the group responded with “hell-yeah” the other half looked like I just poo poo on their desks and the president said “sounds like you have some familiarity with this. Could you set something up for us?” Yeah no. “I’d be happy to advise but this is a job for whomever manages our web site. We need to keep all management and functionality of the site in one basket managed by one team.” No loving way am I on that team.
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Mar 2, 2021 07:08
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SyNack Sassimov posted:What the gently caress files are being saved for a kids sportsball team? And good job not getting suckered in, that sounds like a nightmare all around. Nothing worse than unpaid volunteer IT work for community organizations, i.e. the same people who post on Nextdoor. shortspecialbus posted:I can only assume it's liability related either for injury or abuse claims and such. Maybe some sort of financial poo poo to make sure nobody is embezzling from the team funds and/or ensuring that fees are paid and receipted appropriately and such? PII stuff is managed by an online registration company. The stuff here is far, far more mundane: old board meeting transcripts, countless versions and revisions of bylaws, plans for bake-sales and other fundraising activities, etc. Why anyone cares about poo poo like this is beyond me. Also this: https://www.theonion.com/ask-the-minutes-from-a-heated-kiwanis-club-meeting-1819583825
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Mar 2, 2021 16:17
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Got paged today [sunday] to a critical issue from customer complaining that a data load is performing poorly. As a test. In dev. Sighing deeply and dying a bit more inside I ping the customer and we do a screen share. He’s got a c5.8xl EC2 instance running MySQL and he has a JSON file of a couple hundred thousand records that he’s trying to load. He has written a little PHP thing that is literally looping over the file, reading the next record and inserting it into the database one record at a time. He’s pissed that is beefy database server isn’t performing and he’s blaming the hardware. He’s pissed that he’s working on Sunday and somehow this is all my fault. So I give him the method to bulk insert JSON and let him know that he and I will be having a best practices chat tomorrow about architecture, managed services, ETL, and case severities. I would love my job more if I could magically enforce a “ignorant user” filter.
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May 3, 2021 01:51
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kensei posted:A test in Dev should not be able to page a Sr TAM, that blows. The problem is that this customer has not evenly implemented AWS across its teams and what I mean by that is each team has been left to its own devices when it cones to AWS and our support of them. So what ends up happening is that a new team crawls out of the woodwork and, unbeknown to us, starts slapping all kinds of poo poo together on their own. Then it breaks and we get critical paged because why not. So after one or two of these we become aware of them and their project(s) and arrange for a proper onboarding. I wish we could assemble every customer employee in a room and give everyone the onboarding talk all at once. Then repeat it every six months. Forever. It would do a lot to cut annoying pages like this.
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May 6, 2021 14:28
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Entropic posted:Ran into a classic aerial power bar setup yesterday. Older and wiser Agrikk can’t help but feel a little sad over photos like this. I mean, imagine not-caring to such a degree that power-strips hanging in air are sufficient enough effort to check the “done” box. It takes an extra smidge of effort (and a bit of cash, which I suppose is the problem) to get a couple of proper-length cords to do this right. E: actually, it looks like all one would need to do to get the power strip back on the floor would be to cut the zip tie holding the loop of cord leading to the last plug on the end of the strip. Agrikk fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Sep 16, 2021 |
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Sep 16, 2021 21:14
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Woof Blitzer posted:Fortunately, you can make a whole career out of both creating and cleaning these up. “I’m going to replace all these previous temporary solutions with my temporary solutions for the next guy!”
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Sep 17, 2021 06:11
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Hughmoris posted:There may be better threads but does anyone have a UPS they'd recommend for home use? My house has notoriously flaky power during the winter, so I have three Cyberpower 1500PFCLCDs that I use for individual PCs and some misc gear around my house. I also bought four APC UPS (they're Schneider now) off of eBay: https://www.ebay.com/itm/403166233263?hash=item5dde9482af:g:cjYAAOSwNhNfvsjV with the network management card for remotely shutting down servers. The APC batteries I replace about every five years, the Cyberpower I've had one batter die across the three units in the three years I've had them. Agrikk fucked around with this message at 23:13 on Sep 17, 2021 |
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Sep 17, 2021 21:10
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Knormal posted:WordPerfect was .wpd. RIP WordPefect, so much better than Word. WP ran really well on OS/2 and OS/2 Warp. It had the integration software add-on and everything. edit: Features like Dragging a file onto the WordPerfect program object will launch WordPerfect and open the file. Agrikk fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Sep 25, 2021 |
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Sep 25, 2021 06:39
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Internet Explorer posted:That's how I do it. Say what it is and then describe it. I also do NATO phonetic the same way, say the letter and then the phonetic. I think just going straight NATO phonetic breaks people's brains. I’ve had a conversation in which I spelled, say, GTFO as Golf Tango Foxtrot Oscar so they dutifully entered G O L F T A N G O F O X T R O T O S C A R
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Dec 29, 2021 08:33
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quote:
This is fantastic
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Dec 29, 2021 18:35
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Max Peck posted:3 as in pi, 2 as in e, [unintelligible] as in Graham's number Well poo poo. Reading the Wikipedia entry for graham’s number has resulted in about forty freshly opened tabs in this browser instance. Thanks I think.
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Jan 3, 2022 22:18
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