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Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017


Horse Facts

True and Interesting Facts about Horse




BeefSupreme wanna gently caress up these two idiots instead of fighting each other?

I donít want to let their horrible failureness go unpunished but nor can I manage two brawls at once.

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Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Morning Bell posted:

I am drawing a circle in the sand of this disgusting failure desert.
Four will enter.
Two will leave.
Give me a team of two challengers against mojo and cpt doc.
Crack a VB roll a durrie do a burnout on ya ute with a kelpie in the back. Let the bloody dingoes howl.
I'm judge. Sebmojo and cptn_dr against the first two challengers to step up.

I'll do it, since I failed this week.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Or whatever.

I'll crit all submitted stories for this week as punishment instead if I ain't brawling.

Morning Bell
Feb 23, 2006



Illegal Hen

The wind blows across the desert sands. A snake slithers over an empty pack of winfield blues. A voice in the distance calls:
"Fleta Mcgurn and YoruichiBeefSupreme shall brawl against Sebmojo and cptn_dr"

1,750 worlds max
Due date: 1st of December 23:59 PST

Prompt: each writer shall choose one out of the three options below (tell me which prompt when you post your story, you don't have to choose now).
1. The only pub in town has just closed
2. A new hospital in town has just opened
3. It had been forty eight degrees Celcius for three days in a row
(please convert to Fahrenheit yourself).

Any genre, any style, any setting, as long as your words are good and I can see the prompt in your words

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I'll do it, since I failed this week.

Morning Bell fucked around with this message at 19:13 on Nov 12, 2018

Morning Bell
Feb 23, 2006



Illegal Hen

For bonus points: if a memorable vehicle (mode of transportation) in one writers story appears in your teammates story, that is an Bonus Point for the team and the desert gods shall look upon you more favourably and nod.

Morning Bell posted:

The wind blows across the desert sands. A snake slithers over an empty pack of winfield blues. A voice in the distance calls:
"Fleta Mcgurn and Yoruichi shall brawl against Sebmojo and cptn_dr"

1,750 worlds max
Due date: 1st of December 23:59 PST

Prompt: each writer shall choose one out of the three options below (tell me which prompt when you post your story, you don't have to choose now).
1. The only pub in town has just closed
2. A new hospital in town has just opened
3. It had been fourty eight degrees Celcius for three days in a row
(please convert to Fahrenheit yourself).

Any genre, any style, any setting, as long as your words are good and I can see the prompt in your words

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk



Opt-in 1

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


I'm into Option 3, if Yoruichi is cool with it.

cptn_dr
Sep 7, 2011

Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies



I'm in for option 2

Morning Bell
Feb 23, 2006



Illegal Hen

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I'm into Option 3, if Yoruichi is cool with it.

It's ok if two teammates choose different prompts but I will think your team is slightly cooler and has synergy and jazz and excellent hi fives if you both choose the same one. But only slightly (it's ok to choose different prompts).

BeefSupreme
Sep 14, 2007


Yoruichi posted:

BeefSupreme wanna gently caress up these two idiots instead of fighting each other?

I donít want to let their horrible failureness go unpunished but nor can I manage two brawls at once.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I'll do it, since I failed this week.

Oh no, Yoruichi, our business is far from over. But this fight... Fleta and I can handle these chumps. Let's see just what lies beyond door #3.

BeefSupreme
Sep 14, 2007


(I'll take your spot in this brawl, Yoruichi, unless you really want it--but also we're still brawling)

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011

I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving
And something has got to give


Submissions are closed. Have a great failurebrawl, which my phone autocorrected to "funeral"

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

Well this might be some FJ given more than half of entrants failed to submit, even with a very generous extension. (And also GJ, therefore)

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017


Horse Facts

True and Interesting Facts about Horse




BeefSupreme posted:

(I'll take your spot in this brawl, Yoruichi, unless you really want it--but also we're still brawling)

I will leave the punishment of Seb-failure-jo and Cptn_cantsubmit in BeefSupreme and Fleta Mcgurnís capable hands.

Morning Bell
Feb 23, 2006



Illegal Hen

Yoruichi posted:

I will leave the punishment of Seb-failure-jo and Cptn_cantsubmit in BeefSupreme and Fleta Mcgurnís capable hands.

Truly despicable and cowardly, just as I expected.
Brave BeefSupreme and fearsome Fleta Mcgurn shall make a fine team.

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011

I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving
And something has got to give


TD 327: RESULTS

This week, all I wanted was to read some stories about dragons. 11 of you offered to help me out, but only five delivered. Guess it's time to crawl back in my cave and brood over my hoard while trying to figure out what went wrong.

Thranguy wins with a charming nonsense adventure.

Nobody loses, because honestly, nobody wrote that badly and I don't feel comfortable punishing anyone for showing up this week, not while I'm contemplating pulling a Yoruichi and blowing $60 on failuretars. However, autism ZX spectrum DMs for having the weakest story of the week, an ambitious but confusing dystopia story that also barely contained any dragon.

Thranguy, throne's yours. May November judging treat you better than it did me.

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

College kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe

Preemptively jumping in with a cos dammit we need more wordin'

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

Yes, the good words are gone.

Why are the good words gone?!


Thunderdome 328:Economy of Prompt 2

Thriller.

1000 words, toxx to double

Deadlines Friday/Sunday Pacific Time

Judges
Thranguy
Sitting Here
Yoruichi

Entrants
Chili, toxxed
derp, toxxed
sparksbloom, toxxed
autism ZX spectrum, toxxed
Fuschia tude
Antivehicular, toxxed
Fleta McGurn, toxxed
Saucy_Rodent

Thranguy fucked around with this message at 21:46 on Nov 18, 2018

derp
Jan 21, 2010

when i get up all i want to do is go to bed again

Lipstick Apathy

i'll do it

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

I'm in with a toxx

sparksbloom
Apr 30, 2006


In

sparksbloom
Apr 30, 2006


crits

Guardian

I like this. It kept my attention, I felt bad for the neglected protag dragon, and the prose is pretty good. I do wish there was a little more coherence to this, start-to-finish. The story turns on the suffering in this family, but the first few paragraphs donít set this up, and in the end, the dragon feels like a sort of minor character in the events of the story. Sure, it captures the suffering-monster, but it doesnít interact much with Alba or Marta, and it seems like an odd choice for the POV character here.

Catalyst

This is really hard to follow, mostly because of the unmarked POV shifts, but also because the action relies on sci-fi jargon for the blocking. Couple that with paper thin characters, a bizarre scheme (spend money on fuel and a rocket to send prisoners to Mars, where thereís no life support, instead of just killing the prisoners? ok, sure), and a scattering of bad proofing, and Iím officially Not A Fan of this one. I guess thereís atmosphere going for this story, but that atmosphereís limited to ďfuturistic.Ē Also, not enough of a dragon for me, sorry.

The Dragon Rings the Bell

This is cute, but not charming enough for me to look past the lack of substance. I like the playful, Alice in Wonderland logic that animates the story, but without anything to cut through the zany sugar this whole thing just feels a little bit twee. Thereís also a couple of proofing mistakes that make me suspect this whole thing was thrown together in a hurry, or that the whole point of this story was to write about things being different sizes. And on that front, thereís definitely some good ideas, some good sentences, but on the whole, this thing is just cotton candy.

Wrapped Around Your Finger

A little heavy on the detail sauce, a little light on the emotional sauce. I do like what we get thatís emotional here, but ultimately I wish there was more on the familyís grief, and less describing the proper handling of dragons. To be fair, I really do love the way youíve portrayed the loving family, and itís touching that Sasha has to say goodbye to the wild dragon thatís helped her deal with the grief, but it doesnít click into place, maybe because we donít have a great sense of Sashaís bond with the animal. Still, this is pretty well-written, and it kept me interested all the way through.

Daisy and the Drains

This is amusing, with a feel-good ending and some of that Good Satirical Banter. I like the part where the theremin playing dragon ate the bad dudes. I mean, itís silly and goofy and not very substantial, but itís more coherent than all the other pieces this week, and Iíd have been fine seeing this win.

Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019



derp posted:

i'll do it

yeah, agreed

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011

I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving
And something has got to give


In,

derp
Jan 21, 2010

when i get up all i want to do is go to bed again

Lipstick Apathy

derp posted:

i'll do it

is it too late to for extra words?

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

Yes, the good words are gone.

Why are the good words gone?!


derp posted:

is it too late to for extra words?

No, any time before signups close is fine

derp
Jan 21, 2010

when i get up all i want to do is go to bed again

Lipstick Apathy

okay. I if that wasn't clear.

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

Yes, the good words are gone.

Why are the good words gone?!


Oh, I'll give flash rules on request. Inspiration type, not dickish. And also let any of my cojudges (positions both empty, feel free to apply if you can't write this week), when they appear, do the same.

(Gonna be giving stern looks if the only ones who ask are the people already in.)

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


In and

Saucy_Rodent
Oct 24, 2018

by Pragmatica


I am IN

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

Yes, the good words are gone.

Why are the good words gone?!


It's close to midnight,
About an hour left to join the week.

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

Yes, the good words are gone.

Why are the good words gone?!


And closed. Write some thrilling words, y'all. Judge positions still available.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


BLO OD E M PR E SS

of

THUDNER-DOME


i'll judge

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017


Horse Facts

True and Interesting Facts about Horse




Me too

Saucy_Rodent
Oct 24, 2018

by Pragmatica


The School Shooter

596 words

A number of my classmates are lying dead on the tile, but I can't waste any thought on who they are.

There are fifteen feet between where I am at the entry of the science hall and the nearest cover, the rows of lockers. I can't see the shooter, but I imagine he's probably thirty feet away given the volume of the gunshots. By now, everyone still alive has scrambled for shelter, so if I try to cross the gap between the hallway and the lockers, I'll be his only target. And if I make it across, the lockers don't necessarily mean safety. His bullets are surely strong enough to go clean through the aluminum and the papers and backpacks inside. But at least he won't see me.

I won't have time to enter the combination. There's a spot on these cheap lockers that'll open any of them if you hit it hard enough. I'll get one chance to get it right, I imagine.

Now or never.

I take a deep breath and bolt across the gap. The shooter sees me and fires three times. All misses. I leap over some sophomore girl's body and I'm across the gap.

On a regular school day, I know which locker is mine by muscle memory, but the shooter's dashing footsteps are irritating my intuition. What's my actual locker number? I forgot it the first week after I'd committed its location to memory. 683? Yeah, that's it. The shooter's almost here.

687, 685, 683. The locker's sweet spot is just underneath and a little to the left of the lock. I have to be precise. I mutter a little prayer as I pound my fist against the locker. The footsteps behind me stop just as the locker door swings open.

He starts firing. I'm hit, but there's no thought to waste on where or how it hurts. With the only arm that works, I pull my own pistol out of the locker and start shooting.

...

The NRA people decided that a bigger cast would look better on TV. It helps with their "good guy with a gun" branding. They were initially worried I wouldn't want to do the morning talk show circuit, but I've delivered. It's kind of fun to see my face on magazines.

They've coached me through the tough question: why did you bring a gun to school that day? Why, Mr. Seacrest, I bring a gun to school every day. I know it's against the rules, but I knew if something like this were to happen, somebody would need to protect this school. I'm just using my second amendment rights.

The studio audiences eat it up. I'm proof that guns save lives. A couple states have changed their laws since the shooting to let kids keep their legal firearms in their lockers.

I'm lying to them, of course. By happy coincidence, I only brought the gun to school that day. I've gone my whole life unnoticed and unrewarded, but that's changed now that I'm a hero. Of course, if that weird junior hadn't shot up the school, people still would have noticed me. Maybe if I had started shooting first, he would have gotten to be the hero. I like it this way more.

I get on the stage for my next interview. As I look out at the cheering crowd, I wonder for briefest moment how the public would react if I pulled out a gun and shot them all dead right now. But that thought passes, and I am satisfied by their admiration.

For now.

Saucy_Rodent fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Nov 17, 2018

Saucy_Rodent
Oct 24, 2018

by Pragmatica


I edited the post just to add a word count.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk



Saucy_Rodent posted:

I edited the post just to add a word count.

regrettable

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.






Alright you bah humbugs. Tiny thunderdomers are trickling in with submissions. This year there won't be a lot of submissions because I put up a natural barrier to cull the weak.

Rules!

If they didn't follow rules they get ignored and get a failing grade. How effective is it you ask?? At the time of this post 11 submissions were made and only 4 went through.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/112B8YFigO4g-vH-PcOkt0abhv1LIEBC6-WJxH7Dkvvs/edit?usp=drivesdk

That's where you can read submissions. I'll add the prompt to the doc later tonight. I'll also add if a writer requested a flash rule as well. Their deadline us Monday night at 11:59, so give me until then to get it ready for the horde.

Like last time, remember these are teenagers from freshman to juniors so let's not critique like we would to each other. If you want to help with a critique, in order not to bog down the document with a poo poo ton of text, please write your critique in a separate doc and add it as a comment to the title of the story.

Thanks for your help you loving mongrels.

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

Saucy_Rodent posted:

I edited the post just to add a word count.

Next time make a new post instead.

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Saucy_Rodent
Oct 24, 2018

by Pragmatica


Yeah, sorry I forgot about the editing rule.

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