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i'll read and adjudicate on the bad words oh no
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Mar 27, 2018 01:57
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me in the next week
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Mar 27, 2018 02:02
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 Ok so according to muffin HIGH means actually well-written and LOW means badly-written so it’s backwards forwards day. I dunno if you get LOW you should be proud of knowing how to craft a bad story, but if you get HIGH you should also be proud that despite the circumstances you managed to write a good story. Why am I so confused? 1 Chili Inchworm It starts off as a poem which I didn’t really care about, then it got into those two big chunks of huge paragraphs with words which I don’t really understand but I dug those a lot. It’s a very self-important stream of consciousness thing where you can feel the ebb and flow of the author’s feelings as they get more excited and then upset at the end, which reminds me of how a person gets super excited and chatter about a topic they are very invested in and then slowly become embarrassed and angry when their excitement is met with disinterest. Mid-High 2 crabrock A Horse Called Bob On a macro level this story is super bad, involving a metal brony who has to fight a dr robotnik who built him with love but also wants him to do evil. Definitely feels like a kid who watched a lot of cartoons and anime and struggle to put it in words. This is also the beginning of those stories that uses formatting errors like the paragraph ending mid-sentence. The only thing that stops this story from being THAT BAD is there’s a real flow of action which is a big no no when you write bad stuff on fanfiction.net Mid-Low 3 Armack []bUntitled[/b] Ahhhh my god I really like the rhyming structure of this story. It actually takes some (horrifying) skills to do this well at it AND writing a hilariously dumb story about a (bad) dog on a (good) dog trying to eat a cauliflower. The problem is it’s not bad bad per se but rather absurdist. I really enjoyed this story which makes it High which is a problem! 4 Sitting Here ~*~The Persistence of Narrative Within the Conceit~*~ gently caress this is the good stuff why isn’t there more. I laughed out loud at almost all the super pathetic lines like how his birthplace is his mom, and his height is something only pathetic fools that amuse him make fun of. Also that he’s 230 pounds but “mostly muscle” lmao. Then I got sad that he has a terrible childhood, with a (most likely) negligent mother and a dad who’s definitely in at least 3 MGTOW facebook groups now. But then he turns into a furry who likes non-sexual butt pregnancy??? That sends it straight to Low which is good! ANd bad! I’m so confused how does this grading structure work 5 Exmond Thunderdome is Eternal Wow ok I loving hate this because of all the overt thunderdome references. Which means it should be Low, but I got bored halfway through. Which is bad! I’m thinking that the grading should be “yeah this is bad, but ALSO: it has to be interesting enough that I don’t start thinking about watching Youtube videos while reading your piece”. Which is what happened! I watched some people eat food and complain about gold in their pizza. So perhaps the use of the references was lazy bad-writing and it didn’t hold up the badness of the piece. So I’ll say it’s Mid-Low 6 Captain_Person Jerry Kewl Adventures 1: A New Best Friend I didn’t hate this story. Which may be bad? God drat it muffin why did you do this. OK. So I know exactly what you are doing - the ending is ridiculously optimistic and too “and everybody stood up and clapped, and Jerry Kewl was Albert Einstein”, but I got invested with the story of the kid as an underdog and having a magic sketch pal. The ending really sells how bad the actual thing is, and this is the first story that does those horrible wattpad/literotica way of “Part 1 of ???” thing, so it’s Mid-High 7 Antivehicular Horse Destiny: Paint Your Dreams Haha gently caress I hate this story. Which is good! And bad! I’m goign to just keep repeating this until someone realises that this is me doing bad critting. Or until I realise I’m the one doing? Who knows? What do you know? Let’s find out! And that leaves a non-obscure Netflix reference that also ties in with the fact that your story is about a horse! Except it’s a horse princess that this really creepy rear end in a top hat wants to gently caress in his dream and it makes me cringe all over. It also reminds me of that horrible Piers Anthony book, which makes it even worse! Prose-wise this isn’t bad but the macro level is so bad, and I wanted to die when he kissed the girl and problematically thought “oh well i guess i can love other girls before i love you first” ahaGHGHGHHH Low 8 Yoruichi That Time You Went on a Cat Search and Stole a Helicopter I like the fact the whole story is one paragraph, very 13 year old deviantart profile: Writer (but I’ll be famous at 17 like the eragon guy!) I like that the cat has a Japanese name and apparently translates to Nyan-ko, which is weeaboo as gently caress. I like that the titular helicopter only appears at the end like an anticlimax, which is very much how bad trailers work in Hollywood. The language is however kinda flowery and nice? Which is bad? Also I watched one youtube video while reading (it was about a guy eating Matcha noodles in Kyoto) So it’s Mid-Low. 9 cptn_dr How My New Life Began Ah I love how this has all the trappings of the bad YA fiction, right down to segregating people for insipid reasons. And eye colour has to be the most insipid reason, which just fits in so well with all the self-important and self-unique qualities of the protagonist. “One of my biggest flaws is my curiosity” just smacks so hard of someone filling up a character sheet and deciding what their flaw is, it’s gerat. I also have to appreciate ““We can’t just stand aside and do NOTHING!” I nearly yelled, my violet eyes flashing behind their contact lenses, gleaming bluely.” I laughed at “Science Gladiators” and the huge monologue given by the dead love interest, and then the sudden appearance of a sister. So Low, it’s great! It’s bad? It’s great! 10 Unfunny Poster The Rise of Comrade Colonel Meow Yeah, this definitely reeks of someone who watched too many written Let’s Play of wargames and decided to make them furry, but not too much in case it becomes really furry. It’s good bad writing but I watched three youtube videos while reading this. They were 1. Good community fish in a betta fish tank; 2. What if Wes Anderson directed X-Men; and 3. Rejected Theme Song for Ready Player One. So it’s Mid-Low 11 sparksbloom Touch the cactus, she said I really appreciate how the key way to write bad writing is to avoid it, by deliberately putting a scene break whenever action is supposed to happen. Also how the main character is actually the side character who dies for SOME REASON. I also enjoy the VeRY rAnDOM thing of how she likes beans, just like Cartman likes cheese puff! I still recall there was some writing tip of “good characters” where they suggest a quirk and Cartman’s cheese puff addiction was consider “good”. I used to read bad writing tips all the time. So anyway this is Low for me, that garbage poem really did it for me. 12 Chainmail Onesie Bearly a Story Oh no, it’s one of those absurdist stories that turned out to be well-written! God drat it! The no bone bear on a shark is ridiculous and there’s action! And it’s kinda entertaining but sometimes a little boring when they talk, which is bad/good??? Ugh! Why do I keep getting into this problem? High I’m sorry 13 Tanz! my first story ^U^ holy poo poo It dragged a little in a couple of the early chapters but overall it made me laugh a lot. The TL/author notes remind me of the oh-so-many stories I read just after House of Leaves was published, so so so bad I just love those. The way anime ayn rand uses capitalism to destroy communism is a little too on the nose in its badness, because they are actually well-written, and her attacking the three quests are a little too clever to be bad, but the whole thing kept me very entertained especially for something at this length. There are too many choice sentences and I like that the ending fight is pretty much Ready Player One / GamemasterAnthony’s Bring It In. So it’s Pretty drat Low I love this a lot. 14 Thranguy Set the World on Fire So I read this story last of all, because it’s 7k (7k!!!!) long, which is p bad already. I also deliberately made sure I read when I have no internet connection so I didn’t watch ten youtube videos while reading. So ok the crit is: Your beginning is not bad, which is bad! and the worldbuilding also isn’t bad, which is also bad! I was actually intrigued by this weirdass world with the way magic works, and the demon-summoning scene isn’t bad (repeat: bad). It sounds like mid-writing you realise you have to write a bad story, so you suddenly introduced a conflict with a CLOWN which lol and then a SATAN BABY which even more lol, but it inches a little too close to those premises which sound idiotic but under the hands of a good writer may turn out to be good. It’s High, so that’s bad! 15 Entenzahn What Ash Ketchum did on my summer vacation This story is very tongue-in-cheek which is bad! It reads like someone deliberately screwing around a premise to piss pokemon fans off but accidentally making them love the story. It’s almost “No john you are the demons bad”. There were some bits that made me laughed like the pikachu who jumped out of the pokeball dead because it wasn’t fed since pokemon yellow. It’s very Mid, and hey! You’re the first person right in the middle in my crits that’s an accomplishment. I will still not crit noir td week. 16 Fuschia tude Crawling In The Sand’s Hmmm I watched a couple of youtube videos in between reading this. Which is bad! The problem may be that it’s boring in its badness rather than entertaining in its badness. So let me try reading this again. Ok wait actually this story is pretty bad from a micro level, which means sentences and words are bad, but the story wasn’t interesting enough for me. That last line is fire though, just like my Youtube mix Chill Study Beats 4 • jazz & lofi hiphop Mix [2017] for Relax/Studying/Work. I’d say this is Mid-Low 17 sebmojo Upon the exigencies of the merciless advance of linear time Ok this story is forgettable, let me reread this. (this is not a plus for you) Oh yeah this is the one with the pretty bad freeze frame and flashback structure, where the only thing missing was “[record needle scratch] you must be wondering how I got into this situation”. I also appreciate the title being super loving pretentious. Hrm this is Mid-Low for me. 18 Maigius The Memphis Tales I actually do like this story structure which is bad! But I also appreciate how it’s basically a series of tell don’t show, and the absurd sudden inclusion of Elvis and a bunch of conspiracy theories from the 70s. Is it timely? It isn’t really. But yeah this is Mid of the pack for me. 19 curlingiron CATMAND AND CONQUER: CAT AND MEOWUSE PART 1: ORIGINS aka THE TAMING OF THE MEW, A LOVE STORy I lol at this story quite a few times, but it’s partly also because it’s very well-written (bad!) (Muffin, I really hate this scoring system) also good god I really like those placeholder texts they are just so good. The uneven capitalisation is a nice touch and very annoying, which is good! God drat it I hate this scoring system. Mid-high 20 Solitair Ready Prayer One Oh god this is so bad. Which is…… ugh it’s good! It has references! It has memes! It has the loving “everypony” word which I loving hate! It refers to Ready Player One, and I already did this earlier twice, which means this reference that I’m making is overplayed and therefore this is descending to badcrit territory! People are going to link to this crit and say “yes this is how you do not crit writings: a primer: 101” fuckkkkkk ok the misspellings (good) ““Like X-Man?” Christian asked.” (good) terrible capitalisation (i hate it, which is good!) entertaining (good!) ended with A DREAM (SO GOOD) Low 21 Flesnolk Interviews Ehhhh I’m not a fan of this, whether it’s bad or good. I watched 1. Giant Puffer Fish Eats Clams and Crabs!; 2. How to make vegan curry; 3. Jurassic World Evolution: 30 minutes first gameplay! And 4. Which Celebrity has the best mac’n’cheese recipe? I think you could have just cut to the ending of the two people vomiting blood at each other and it’s a better bad/good/bad/good entry. Was kinda bored throughout. Mid 22 Sham bam bamina! The Truth is Far, Far Out There Ok, I wasn’t a big fan of all the Interstellar stuff and the science jargon but goddamn does that ending not deliver an amazing gut punch in how bad it is. Just, I just want to say I really appreciate that I didn’t see that ending coming and I just laughed throughout how stupid it is, especially with it ending as THE BEGINNING. Low 23 QuoProQuid eScape from the CITY! 503 words Oh I like this. I enjoy all the over-informative parts on JC Penny items on sail, and that the kids yell that someone is hiding behind pants on sale for 50% off. It got a little absurdist rather than bad when the mom’s pant fort was set on fire, and I was gonna say this is high UNTIL that last line of “Kyle looked down at his shoes and cried because his parents were both dead for ever.” which made me laugh out loud. So This is Low 1. My first story uwu what's this 2. Horse Destiny (Princess Horse artwork horror) 3. The persistence of narrative (Deviantart profiles) 4. Ready Prayer One 5. The Truth is Far Far Out There (interstellar but jesus) 6. How My New Life Began (eye colour) 7. eScape from the City (stuff on sail) 8. Touch the Cactus 9. A Horse Called bob (metal brony) 10. Crawling in the Sands 11. Thunderdome is eternal (lots of reference story) 12. Comrade Meow 13. Upon the exigencies (record scratch freeze frame) 14. That time you went on a cat and stole a helicopter 15. Interviews (boring blood vomit) 16. Memphis Tales 17. Ash Ketchum 18. Catmand and Conquer 19. Jerry Kewl Adventures 20. Inchworm 21. []b untitled[/b] 22. Bearly a Story 23. Set the World on Fire
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Apr 3, 2018 05:58
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ok gimme door 1
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May 2, 2018 02:55
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PROMPT: Madam Charlotte’s School For Aberrant Girls by Chillmatic Elegy 1200 words E: https://thunderdome.cc/?story=6542&title=Elegy The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 02:08 on Dec 31, 2018 |
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May 7, 2018 05:51
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Thread closed for the week
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Jul 7, 2018 07:24
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309 critfarts Commissioning a Nigun Overall I enjoyed the rabbi's voice and his reaction towards Chaim's falling from erligion. The way he describes how he only looks at clouds should be an exaggeration that makes sense in a jewish context? Not a big fan of the shift in perspective at the last part where someone picks up. Maybe just have the ending letter continued without (or not even requiring the ending, because there's some beauty in the unfinished letter). Fragile broken things Ok I like this a lot, it's beautiful in that gabriel garcia marquez way and i enjoyed how there was an ambiguous passage of time ongoing. Hate the title but the writing is solid enough Those who would burn the world to the ground After having read a few of your more ambitious stories this falls within that, with very impressive worldbuilding and huge events. But it seems a few things were glossed over and maybe there were too many characters? I was more invested in the main character and his relation with jenny and I think that could have been fleshed a bit more compared to trevor et al. Make like a tree Hmm, i like this although the sister suddenly turning into a blueberry bush was a bit abrupt, but i assume that's the big point? That in real life poo poo happens and you don't understand it and you just have to accept that? Which is why the ambiguity of whether she really changed her mind and turned into a bush or that she got shot and they planted a bush to cover it up. other place Hmm, ok, I do like the idea and the concept behind everything. I'm way way more interested in the potential interaction / ghost world where the protag and "you" reside than the backstory, and it feels like the language can be more evocative? You and Me at the End of the World Oh, I like this end of the world story. Everything's sad and burnt out rather than a huge anime climatic mess. Kinda reminds me of this Australian movie These Final Hours. The ending definitely works. The First Day of Peacetime Ok there are some nice language and imagery here and there but I'm left confused a lot, like why are they planning to die together and how are they doing it? I'm assuming biological weapons were used hence they used an unproven vaccine but it worked, maybe? I dig the ending interaction on their pasts but I don't know how it relates to the rest of the story. Snuffles The first part of dad is not as good as when the baby rabbits start appearing, with that beginning signs of a plague killing off the rabbits (with an ominous shadow of some kind of unknown upcoming apocalypse looming). Overall I like this but I don't really get the part of dad's role other than pointing out he has never missed a meal, which is something i'm hyperaware of now. We Can Forget It For You Wholesale Ok, these guys are lizards, right? Not sure why Hadrian/Adrian changes names. I think there's some great weird magic going on, and I wonder if there's more that should be built on the fact that they are in fact absorbing parts of people's souls and sacrificing them to an uncaring god. The ending may work better in that sense. Maiden Flight Oh yeah I like that weird mother-child-darkness imagery that hits when the protag goes under. I can't really tell, these people are some kind of bees that get pregnant, are they? Cool magic concept that I really enjoyed Border Crossing Ok the president trump turning mexico-us relations into a hellscape is a little on the nose maybe? The writing's competent and the only thing I genuinely am not happy with is that unearned ending of "suddenly mexico turned into a first class strong superpower who don't need no man" and that ends the struggles of the protag?? Like uh why? Kindred Instruments Hmmmmmmm ok I got really confused by how pollination works, like i thought it said "ok makeup ladies are doing this now" and I thought the protag through the queen got a sweet, better deal, but it's apparently another truckload of makeup girls? I like "a stand of cut lilies languish in a orange bucket, the wound of their separation comforted by the shallow stand of water within." and I like the whole thing UNTIL she got to the doctor's place and suddenly, attempted rape? Why? The ending betrays the quality of the rest of the story. Cold Regret I read this and felt super sad about everyone, even the beast the protag cut into. Like the whole world has gone to an icy hell and people woke up not knowing what's better anymore. I had some issues with clarity at first but upon rereading this made me feel these big sad emotions and it works. A Gospel I can't really tell whether this story is split between two perspectives, or one? I don't know if the first part is narrated by the Him in the second part, and if so who is the second person, and why are they kissing? Lots of nice language use but I'm kinda confused.
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Jul 17, 2018 03:10
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I didn't judge that week my dude do you want a crit
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Jul 17, 2018 03:47
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i want a were thing
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Aug 3, 2018 02:31
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Bah. (<1200 words) E:https://thunderdome.cc/?story=6724&title=Bah. The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Dec 31, 2018 |
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Aug 6, 2018 06:43
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In
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Aug 7, 2018 09:23
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sin in me
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Oct 17, 2018 01:52
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Pieces of <1500 words Your friends knew the risks, and you can only blame them for what happened next E: https://thunderdome.cc/?story=6925&title=Pieces+of The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Dec 31, 2018 |
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Oct 22, 2018 05:48
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💀💀💀 Thunderdome CCCXXV: The Horror is Capitalism 💀💀💀 OK LET US CONTINUE ON THE SPOOPTOBER STREAK. Here's your task, it's super simple: Write a story where the horror comes from a technology not meant for it. FAQ: Q: Wait what does that mean??? A: Answering machine that produces horror = good! Ouija board already meant to talk to ghosts = no good! Q: Can I write a ghost plane??? A: Ok but I would be very happy if it's like Christine (1983 film) rather than ghosts in a plane. Q: CAN I WRITE VIDEO GAME CREEPYPASTA???????????????????????????? A: k fine Q: Can I write bad words A: no pls die 1,666 words and I WILL ASSIGN THE TECHNOLOGY! HAHA! or if you don't want an assignment you get 999 words but you better specify you don't want it Sign-ups close: 11:59pm Friday PST Submissions close: 11:59pm Sunday PST Old People Yelling at Cloud: it's me a rhino oh no a mojo hee hee a chili Technomancers: 01. ThirdEmperor - blockchain 02. Antivehicular - mayan sun stone 03. curlingiron - washing machine 04. sparksbloom - chinese seismograph  05. flerp - laserdisc 06. apophenium - tandem bicycle 07. AllNewJonasSalk - cloud computing 08. Thranguy - cloud seeder 09. Flesnolk - claw machine 10. Ottermotive Insanity - swedish sauna 11. Yoruichi - 3d printer 12. NotGordian - pump athletic sneakers 13. Solitair - escalator 14. Tyrannosaurus - egyptian tempera paint 15. Chairchucker - electronic voting machine 16. Staggy - facial recognition system 17. sandnavyguy - drones 18. Obliterati - vending machine 19. Bolt Crank - atomic bomb 20. derp - FMV game 21. crabrock - defibrillator 22. Lippincott - armillary sphere 23. DeltaSquid - streaming media 24. QuoProQuid - aqueduct 25. Anomalous Blowout - mold casting 26. autism ZX spectrum - (999 words) thermionic valves The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Oct 25, 2018 |
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Oct 24, 2018 03:35
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ThirdEmperor posted:give gadget deliver unto me the flashing rules i am in dammit i am in blockchain Antivehicular posted:In, gimme some techs mayan sun stone The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Oct 25, 2018 |
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Oct 24, 2018 03:37
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curlingiron posted:Fuggit, let's doooooo this, I am in washing machine sparksbloom posted:Wire me in chinese seismograph laserdisc apophenium posted:in in in in tandem bicycle AllNewJonasSalk posted:In like Flynn cloud computing Thranguy posted:In, gimme gear cloud seeder
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Oct 24, 2018 03:54
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Flesnolk posted:I already signed up, give me a thing plz claw machine dreadmojo posted:I'll help judge bc I'm spooked up this weekend with td&d sweet swedish sauna
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Oct 24, 2018 04:01
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3d printer pump athletic sneakers
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Oct 24, 2018 04:13
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esclator egyptian tempera paint
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Oct 24, 2018 05:42
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Chairchucker posted:Gimme a thing electronic voting machine
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Oct 24, 2018 06:56
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Staggy posted:In. facial recognition system sandnavyguy posted:This is a cool one to come back to, In, hit me with science drones Obliterati posted:Tech me up nerds, I am in vending machine
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Oct 24, 2018 08:28
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Bolt Crank posted:Hoping for an insidious prompt! atomic bomb Chili posted:Yo rhino, I'll judge it up, if you need. hell yeah derp posted:also im in  Congrats! You are the 20th entrant! You get the coveted... FMV game! crabrock posted:in probably who knows anymore defibrillator armillary sphere Deltasquid posted:In for this week, gimme a thing streaming media QuoProQuid posted:i failed last week so i'll aqueduct Anomalous Blowout posted:Good prompt. In. mold casting
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Oct 25, 2018 01:59
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It's on point, too - thank you for writing it up!
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Sign ups closed, and if you want a new tech msg me or hit me up on chat and I'll send you but you need to toxx
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Oct 27, 2018 11:27
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i'm allowing you jerks more time (maybe until 5am pst) because i want some loving blockchain/cloud computing ghosts dammit e: also one of you toxxed!!!! The Saddest Rhino fucked around with this message at 07:39 on Oct 29, 2018 |
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Oct 29, 2018 07:37
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welp entries are closed
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Oct 29, 2018 12:31
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💀💀💀 Thunderdome CCCXXV Results 💀💀💀 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eU9gwr7w3U Horrors upon horrors, none of you wrote words too terrible that made me want to die, which means somewhere out there there is a villainous typewriter or keyboard being mad they don't get to send bad words to me. Why? Because some of you didn't SUBMIT!!!! So you technoluddites better do a redemption or face being flattened by a possessed steamroller! This goes to ThirdEmperor (blockchain!), curlingiron (washing machine), flerp (laserdi , AllNewJonasSalk (cloud computing!!), Flesnolk (claw machine), Ottermotive Insanity (swedish sauna), NotGordian (pumped up kicks), and Deltasquid (streaming media!!!! There's literally a bad Japanese Ringu sequel involving streaming media!).BUT WAIT. Who are the winners or the losers? We'll use my haunted google excel sheet to calculate this through some undead algorithms, which bring us to:  What are the bad news? DM goes to sparksbloom, who definitely did the proper research on Chinese seismography which alas, doesn't exactly gel up as a whole and came to a confusing death that made everyone scratched their head. Alas! Unfortunately, we need to appoint a loser and the least-liked piece goes to sandnavyguy, who wrote a strange piece about a guy who got murdered and somehow turned into a drone plane? It's like a Tale of The Crypt story but why?how?what? Also it made me think of those horrifying anime girls who turn into plane porn and oh no, stop, no i knew I should have set "chan imageboards" as a technology for horror NOOOOOOOOOOO ANYWAY, What's THAT? Two persons have the lowest score? A DOUBLE WINNER? HOW CAN THIS BE? Ok, it can't be because I can choose who wins. So the prize goes to Anomalous Blowout, for delivering us a piece on mold casting which leads to a spookfest full of upset and undying people cursing and intimidating the protag, who clearly thinks "but I'm following orders!" ORDERS? This is what capitalism does to people! Now suffer the consequences, jerk! And that means HM belongs to crabrock (defibrillator) for a near perfect piece on a parent's anxiety over the potential loss of a child requiring special care, and Thranguy (cloud seeder) for a mystifying Americana horror where the Devil is real and everyone deserves their just death. Now send us to our deaths for the new week as this hell month continues! 
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Oct 30, 2018 09:50
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Saucy_Rodent posted:The School Shooter 
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Nov 19, 2018 04:09
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Thank you to Lead out in Cuffs for a full box of maple-y goodness, a handmade Shibori-est Rhino wall hanging (neat!) and donation to a rhino wildlife fund (which I should also look into!). My stomach will cherish these other than the wall hanging and the tea towel) (and the magnet too): 
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Dec 28, 2018 02:09
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| # ¿ Jan 25, 2025 20:35 |
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stats: submissions: twice wins: thrice (66.67% win rate!) judgecritfailures: dismal
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Jan 3, 2019 01:52
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