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Sci-fi, but the author is just really hungry:ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Empress Kay Sadhila and her henchman the Count Monte Cristo have invaded the hiveworld Suet. Our dashing hero Cod Linguica springs into action. got any sevens posted:The hero had muttonchops and cornrow hair, topping off his beer-belly figure cda posted:Bick Spurlington ran towards the Teleporter. But first, he stopped at the replicator and made a ham. Then he ate the ham. It was salty and delicious. Red lights flashed all around him as a mechanical female voice intoned "Hull Breach Imminent. Hull Breach Imminent." There was no time to lose. He replicated Honey-Poached Pears with Hazelnut Butter and a Buttermilk Ice Cream. The exquisite mouthfeel of the warm pears melting into the chill ice cream reminded him of his childhood on the planet F'run G'farr. There were only seconds left before the starship's exterior lost its integrity. Wasting no time, he waddled in a satisfied manner towards the Teleporter and punched in the coordinates for the nearest McDonalds. Blade Runner, but about food: Drink-Mix Man posted:"I want more fries fucker." Drink-Mix Man posted:"You're in a Mexican restaurant, walking up to the counter, when all of a sudden you look down..." Koishi Komeiji posted:Interviewer: [Foodline test room at LAPD cafateria] Officer K-D-six-dash-three-dot-seven, let's begin. Ready? Jolo posted:I've eaten things you people wouldn't believe. XXL Chalupas with fire sauce off the Bell of Tacozia . I ate my way out of a roast beef prison littered with flying buffalo bones near the Arby's Gate. All my frequent eater punchcards with one punch remaining will be lost in thyme, like fizz in the champagne. Time to dine. got any sevens posted:careful with this one gaff, he's a goddamn one-man slaughterhouse |
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Jan 3, 2018 22:50
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:48 |
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The teleporter crackled to life. The porter's empty arch slowly filled with a shimmering sheet of yellow energy rippling and bubbling like a fondue pot. Sgt. Flex Grundle pushed his meaty hand into the mass: It was thick, heavy, and warm. A vent of steam blew out from the portal around his arm. "Careful lads, I expect some more gas coming on, but never mind that. Tuck in!" |
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Jan 3, 2018 23:30
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The space ships captain hungrily looks down at the unappetizing slop in his bowl and swallows a spoonful. "Ugh, gross" he mutters. Ever since the ships cook had been lost in that antimatter accident, Jim in engineering had taken over cooking duties, much to the crew's dismay. Picking up his plate and walking to the transporter, the captain once again teleports the contents of his bowl directly into his stomach. Jim walks by as the captain hurriedly tries to hide the bowl behind his back. "Oh h-hey Jim" he stammers, reaching back to teleport the evidence back to the kitchen unsuccessfully. Jim gives the captain the famous "triple bird", the most insulting hand gesture of the future.
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Jan 4, 2018 15:13
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kirk licks his lips for the tenth time today "i cant believe this has happened to us" "logically captain, the results would be the same no matter who this happened to. besides, you cannot cheat death and were bound to die eventually" "dammit spock, i still have years left in me! i want to live! drat that khan! being stranded on an island with food only feet away is torture!" "that it is, captain, he certainly got the better of us today" "and those fish look so delicious, have you noticed how fast they go? their muscle meat must be a huge portion of their mass..." *kirk starts drooling again* "i can come up with only one solution captain, i will dive in and throw a fish to you. the acidic ocean will take a few seconds to kill me, just long enough for one catch. plus the fish will last longer with one less mouth to feed. it's logic, captain. then perhaps you will survive log enough for a rescue" "my old friend...yes do it, i'm starving. havent eaten since breakfast" ---------------- |
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Jan 4, 2018 19:38
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| LONGER THAN YOU THINK, DAD *slurps infinite noodle* LONGER THAN YOU THINK! | |
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Jan 4, 2018 22:56
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It was a marvel of engineering, a torus with a radius of two hundred thousand kilometers orbiting a lonely star. No one knew who had built the donut world, but it was sprinkled with ancient relics. |
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Jan 4, 2018 23:35
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*Ordering food from the Star Trek replicator, which can make you literally any food you can imagine* "Computer, one lovely gas station microwave burrito, hot on the outside but cold in the center once you bite into it."
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Jan 4, 2018 23:35
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Soylent Maroon is also people, but it is dragon fruit flavored so you take the good with the bad. |
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Jan 4, 2018 23:37
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"Leftover pizza is a dish best served cold." -Old Klingon Proverb |
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Jan 4, 2018 23:44
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Mars Needs Watermelon Invasion from Other pizza Place Swamp Wing Star Weck Oven Horizon 2001 Noodles: A Spaetzl Odyssey |
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Jan 5, 2018 03:40
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"Where we're going we don't need eyes to sear!" Opening the Lament Configuration to find an infinite Golden Corral. La Plančte sausage |
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Jan 5, 2018 03:49
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:"Where we're going we don't need eyes to sear!" we're leavening! ---------------- |
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Jan 5, 2018 09:57
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"Greetings, Earthling" the Klorvax intoned, extending a firm, meaty haunch. "We have traveled many of your Light Years and are famished. Yet our delicious bodies have not yet lost their nutritional value and we are quite edible and not at all poisonous to your human metabolisms." Lt. Gen Ridgley Hauer stared at the seventeen shapely marbled rumps of the alien, which smelled sweet, like cranberry sauce, the real kind, not the too-sugary canned kind. He turned to a soldier standing behind him. "It may be a trap. Soldier, go eat that alien." "Sir, yes sir!" the soldier shouted. He already had a knife and fork, to be prepared. |
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Jan 5, 2018 15:41
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Scene: Blood red ketchup clouds rain down against a grease black sky in Mcdonald land. The evil monolithic Donald corp. building towers over the city.... Fry kid holographic secretary(voice crackling): WElcOme bAck SiR, yoU wAntEd tO reViEw tHe nEw BiG MAc beRFoe sHiPmeNt? R.Don, The very young and eccentric CEO of Donald corp in a meditating position: A burg should never enter the kitchen of heaven without a side. A new model? Well, let us see her then. *R. Don enters a room with the new model of Big Mac freshly taken off the heatlamp. It suddenly starts gasping for it's first breathes of air.* R. don (grasping the burg's buns): The first thought tends to fear to preserve the freshness, it's fascinating and before we even know which size of Big Mac we are we fear to lose it. Order up. *The new model of Big Mac is still gasping for air* R. don: Sshhhhh....Now, let's have a look at you ..... we make burgers to stop hunger ... yes there were bad burgers once I make .......... good burgers now. That is how I took us to nine new markets.....nine.....a child can count to nine on fingers we should own every state! New model of Big Mac (standing upright now): Yes sir. R.Don: Every fast food franchise was built off the backs of a disposable work force we lost our stomach for minimum wage unless a kiosk... but I can only cook so many. R. Don (pointing at that weird bread slice in the middle of the Big Mac):That barren bread slice empty and salty right here a dead space between the all beef patties. R.Don (whispering): That's the thing we must change for heaven. *R don suddenly pulls out the middle bread slice of the Big Mac spilling ketchup everywhere* R. Don (shouting): I cannot super size them so help me I have tried! We need more Big Macs than can ever be assembled we have served millions but we could serve trillions we could storm international markets and reclaim them! *R don kisses the new model of Big Mac as it falls over dieing* R. Don: Old Mc Donald's last trick Franchization spread fast but now gone but there is a way. Bring rubes to me.
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Jan 5, 2018 16:37
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R. Don (R. Don explains to Mayor McCheese why he can't extend his lifespan): The facts of burg... to make an alteration in the esaucement of an organic burg system is fatal. A secret sauce recipe cannot be revised once it's been established. Mayor McCheese: Why not? R. Don: Because by the second day of refrigeration, any burgs that have undergone reversion refrigeration give rise to flavor loss, like rats leaving a sinking ship; then the ship... sinks. Mayor McCheese: What about EMS-3 resauceation? R. Don: We've already tried it - maynaise, mustard, ketchup as an alkylating agent and potent burgagen; it created a burg so gross the taste tester had barfed before he could even leave the table. Mayor McCheese: Then a repressor protein like turkey, that would block the all beef cells. R. Don: Wouldn't obstruct burgafacation; but it does give rise to an error in burgafacation, so that the newly formed BNA strand carries with it a mutation - and you've got a barf burger again... but this, all of this is academic. You were made as well as we could make you. Mayor McCheese: But not to last. R. Don: The burg that tastes twice as good gets consumed twice as fast - and you have tasted so very, very good, McCheese. Look at you: you're the Prodigal burg; you're quite a prize! Mayor McCheese: I've done... questionable things. R. Don: Also extraordinary things; revel in your time. Mayor McCheese: Nothing the God of burgmechanics wouldn't let you into heaven for.
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Jan 5, 2018 17:34
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McCheese: Yes! Questions: Morphology? Shelf life? "Enjoy by" dates? Chew: Don't know, I don't know such stuff. I just do fries! |
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Jan 5, 2018 18:01
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i shudder to think what horrifying semi-edible 'friends' this universe's Sebastian would make
---------------- |
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Jan 5, 2018 18:07
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Phyllo: Me fifth course - dessert. Me protect you. |
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Jan 5, 2018 18:21
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got any sevens posted:i shudder to think what horrifying semi-edible 'friends' this universe's Sebastian would make 
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Jan 5, 2018 19:56
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google THIS posted:Phyllo: Me fifth course - dessert. Me protect you. |
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Jan 5, 2018 21:14
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i eat, Sebastian; therefore i am ---------------- |
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Jan 5, 2018 22:25
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:48 |
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More chicken than sandwich, that's our motto. |
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Jan 5, 2018 22:53
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