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It's the story I was told "Is this publishable? Absolutely not." in the TD! Yes, the one everyone made testicle puns about. edit: link removed Seeing as how that particular user seemed to think that the story had no "kind of commentary about society or people or anything besides the played out cliche of 'lol rich people dumb", I'd mostly like feedback on how I can strengthen my intended themes. Mainly, the unhealthy obsession with looking and feeling younger as we age, the great lengths we'll go to in order to attempt to reverse a natural bodily process, and how wanting to look a decade younger than you are is a type of body dysmorphia rooted in a deep-seated self-hatred. I wanted the character to actually start feeling younger and happier when he approached the problem in an emotionally healthy way (ate real food, read a book, went for a jog but not obsessively) rather than an unhealthy way (cheating on his wife with a younger woman, becoming obsessed with his appearance), surgery aside. Also, wouldn't mind general structure/prose tips as well as how to make a misguided character like this interesting. I was intentionally writing it a bit overwrought in order to reflect the character's upper-crust aloofness (because, I felt, a character who has time and money to obsess over their appearance can show the extremes), but if that wasn't a good choice or I didn't pull it off, tips on how to be more successful with that would be great. e: Or, if you think that the subject matter is too inherently absurd/dumb to make the points that I was trying to make, I wouldn't mind hearing that too. feedmyleg fucked around with this message at 11:28 on Apr 2, 2018 |
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Mar 27, 2018 11:45
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Crits have been super helpful for me as well! Thanks, everyone. I can see clearly that the intro wasn't accomplishing what I was hoping, and also how and where I need to clarify and streamline some things and beef up other things. I had a few additional areas I wanted to expand once I went beyond the 2K limit for TD so I've got a lot of direction for a second draft. Hopefully this weekend I'll have some time to provide some of my own crits for y'all, really been enjoying reading through others stories as well.
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Mar 29, 2018 20:57
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