[CYOA] Dungeon Master. Digging too deep.

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Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Splicer posted:

lol we got played. Also if we don't let the castle fall to them we're in violation.

Grab everything we can, get the beavers out through the back door, swim home.

Once they're settled in return to nuke the place and fill the channel with whirlpools.

Welp. Let's get out.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2018 15:51

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 13:58

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

AJ_Impy posted:

They are no longer offering us the money, thus they are in violation.

Plan Outrail, but give them a few hours to pay us after we leave but before we drown them all and auction it off.

If they don't pay, then they're in violation and all sorts of fun starts happening.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2018 16:36

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Splicer posted:

Plan Outrail-IcePhoenix

Though rather than loudspeakering how we got played, discretely check with our union rep what our options are.

If we don't get paid we can auction it off to the highest bidder.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2018 19:49

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Blasphemaster posted:

Do we want an aquatically themed revenge plan worthy of a Disney Song? I'm absolutely sure we do.

You're a mean one, Sarga Scrawgill, you really love your eeeeeeeels!

# ¿ Jul 10, 2018 05:39

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

malbogio posted:

+1

I bet they'll be pissed at Havar when the invoice shows up, that's a lot of gold left to pay out since we survived. I think we completed the contract so the magical conditions on the contract should be enough to ensure we get paid.

Much as I'd like to seek revenge we're both harmed and very low on mana, and the manawell is useless on offense. Plus attacking them now could easily violate the contract.

That having been said maybe we should dump Manawell energy into more monsters to flood the fortress with once we're out from under the contract and have manufactured a contract sufficient to justify taking the fortress back. Havar is probably almost out of mana and ill-equipped to regenerate mana at the island, so if he stays around to guard it I'd expect him to be rather vulnerable for a couple weeks. Even better if we can attack them through tunnels they haven't found in the middle of the night.

We raised it with magic. Once the contractual obligations are met and it's closed, we can just lower it again. See if they wanna grow gills.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2018 21:04

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Check the board bit I think we need a little Me time.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2018 19:11

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Quick break first. C we basically just did, even if it wasn't our goal on the outset.

D sounds fun.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2018 19:56

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

We have access to a time warp. Can we get some blood, clone him and grow him to 18?

# ¿ Jul 17, 2018 15:48

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Imperfect illusion of Lenor + Time fuckery = die of old age?

# ¿ Jul 17, 2018 16:04

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Splicer posted:

C - plan heir
Lenore is dead, let's DNA-jack her corpse.

I like it.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2018 16:16

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Faerie kingdom should work. It'll explain any human quirks we miss in his backstory. Make sure he gets a good dose of court ettiquite though.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2018 14:54

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Rockopolis posted:

Yeah, and if they say it sucks, no deal?

The baseline for the client is "I hate everything and want to die.", so, pretty low bar.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2018 17:56

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Blasphemaster posted:

No. AC.

Take a nap, see if our Minions Union has any issues.

We got out clean and made a boatload of cash, let's just move on.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2018 15:11

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Anticheese posted:

A New Religion and look at the Shadowboard!

Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 14:54

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Deadmeat5150 posted:

Hail Xenu!

That's a funny way to spell Sarga.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 20:03

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Splicer posted:

C but let's not forget our roots. Anyone can become a god, but it takes real talent to build one.

When life gives you lemons you BUILD A NEW GOD.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2018 14:42

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

I'm getting Rocky Horror vibes from this now.

We shall build a bronze'd god, and he shall love us.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2018 16:22

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

AJ_Impy posted:

1C Conversion is almost always the best option. Your enemy loses an asset and you gain one.

2 Works for me.

3.Only for the devout and only if they desire it. Make it known as a great blessing, have the faithful prove themselves to earn it.

Yeah, this. Let them come to us.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 18:22

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Blasphemaster posted:

Always grab your natural expansion first before going on the offensive.

Trufax.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2018 16:23

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

super sweet best pal posted:

3. Argue that by declaring their willingness to fight, they have proven they do not truly believe the teachings of their god. They value their own lives above their beliefs. They may not have broken the tenets of their religion in deed yet but they already have in spirit. If their faith was truly unshakable, they would not fear the teachings of another god.

I like it.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2018 06:07

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

3 for sure. Let them come to us. Maybe work some minor miracles. Heal a few folk. Find and punish somebody corrupt in the city the Hurnites have been ignoring.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2018 15:14

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

B for sure. Let's get some equal opportunity messaging going.

If you're strong enough to keep your lands, then keep them.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 16:51

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Nephzinho posted:

"Prove to us Hurn is not dead!"

Sarga has been chilling and improving her bond with Bad Tidings, just going full Thor and flinging the thing around.

Let's not kill them yet. Make water elemental copies of the Priests of Hurn to stand between our followers and theirs. Taunt them into breaking their oath of non-violence upon their own image.

We are not needlessly cruel, we are not murderers (right now). But we will defend what we have with tooth and (crab) claw.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2018 19:54

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Outrail posted:

3, while building our lives. Asherah doesn't just want worship, he/she/it wants us to be happy and fulfilled in our lives.

'We need to protect ourselves' is such great vague propaganda. It's sounds proactive but really its 'prepare to curbstomping whoever gives us the side eye'.

E: Saw 'large lab' in our inventory and for a second imagined a gigantic labrador chilling out in an undersea complex. How do we not have an animal sidekick in this cyoa yet? I vote octopus, a snarky sarcastic octopus.

I like it.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2018 15:15

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Blasphemaster posted:

It's all Sparkly, so call it The Rave Cave.

2B (Rare!)

3A Let's get at least one Large sized bruiser. We've got funds, we've got assassins and worker bees, we have a magic trident. Let's get somebody large and possibly tentacly.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2018 18:12

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Blasphemaster posted:

1. B

2. There is no afterlife. Never has been. Everyone has been lied to forever and that loving sucks. Asherah is a new god, yes, but he is the only one who really cares, as he pushes his followers to live life to the fullest every second of every day, because death is the end. He never mentions an afterlife unless asked, as the very idea of one is poison. A life spent pining for what can never be attained is a horrible tragedy, and those acting as agents of such deceit are the most terrible of criminals. Funny thing about an afterlife? No one can tell you what it's like from experience. A promise that can never be proven to be broken is the easiest to make.

HOWEVER, those most faithful can be changed by their god to live longer, perhaps even to be eternal, as long as they stay true to themselves, and Asherah. Be mysterious about this.

E: as evidence of this, mod the priesty pair to have gills and limited regeneration, have them sit outside town in a sealed tank of water or something.

3. Do some math, make a flowchart or some poo poo and balance our monstrous checkbook thingy. At least a certain percentage goes to upgrades for our minions, be it combat gear, living conditions, healthcare etc. Make other villains' monsters envy ours. It's delayed gratification, but it'll be great.

We are building a religion
We are making a brand
We're the only ones to turn to
When your castles turn to sand

I like all of this. We may want to just hire or promote a bookkeeper/office manager.

I say this knowing full well an evil accountant is probably going to embezzle from us. Just make sure it's a small enough percentage.

OR: Time to finally get that intern.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2018 21:40

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Volmarias posted:

The problem with a "live only for today there's nothing beyond" message is that it's pretty hard to get people to die for you when you tell them that death is where everything ends. You want an army that believes that dying in your name leads to a new life and a reward.

Don't die for Asherah. Die for your family. Die for your friends, your neighbors, your country. Take two of them with you. Take three. Take them all. Make them regret ever messing with YOUR land, YOUR freedom, YOUR country. Death comes for us all, but only YOU can decide if it's for a reason, or for a false promise of something you'll never see. From your death comes life for your children, for your wife, for your town. You will be remembered. Your sacrifice will be spoken of for generations to come. That's not some empty lie to keep you pacified so the church can take their 10% and build golden monuments to themselves.

Asherah cannot keep death from your doorstep, no one can. But he can give you more time. Prove your worth, be granted more precious time with your loved ones. Or another chance. Make a difference, work hard, be blessed with reincarnation. Improve your soul, become your better self. Become stronger, faster, tougher, smarter, wiser. Learn from the lessons of the past and become more than you were.

We are all moving forward, so move with purpose. Choose a life worth living, choose Asherah.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2018 06:14

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Volmarias posted:

Their benefits are the valuable experience for their resume they're getting

I didn't say unpaid!

Just not, ya know, well paid. We can convert to FTE after a 6 month Temp to Hire period. After which we can fire or hire or kill or mutate them.

Grey Hunter posted:

I already linked that song dammit!

I know, I was just listening to them at work and that line got stuck in my head thinking about this thread.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2018 14:43

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Splicer posted:

AC
Die to make the world better, reap the rewards on your return.

Lets do this thing.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2018 16:44

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Blasphemaster posted:

Awesome. So we figured out how to create a deity. We really, really went full overachiever on this one. Welp. The client did ask for a religion.

C. Take out those who most fervently support/participate in oppressing Asherans. The Hurnists publicly threatened violence IIRC, and there was that attack on our priests. Hit back in turn, but don't escalate yet.

This seems like the way to do it

They'll probably counter attack. We get a bunch of souls, do some reincarnation to cement the new religious tenets, and then escalate if we need.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2018 14:48

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Hexenritter posted:

This, sweet gently caress Irwin alone will be loving lethal with the blessings we've bestowed upon him and the new lease on life he's been given. A rogue with a lifetime of experience stuffed in a powerful body with natural toxin production... Just drat. He hasn't been given a chance to truly shine yet, this could be it.

Give him a shell just in case.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2018 21:56

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Blasphemaster posted:

Why don't we start investing in magical gear and such? Bad Tidings and the Manapool are great, but we could do with some more protective gear for ourself, maybe some equipment for our more capable minions? IIRC, the wealth limit is on liquid assets. Let's improve the manapool and hoard some +# Blanks of Blank or whatever, ostensibly on hand for emergency equipment for the rank and file.

Speaking of, how is our Manapool after that little snafu creating a god? I'm assuming it's drained, but is it still, ya know, in one piece?

# ¿ Sep 12, 2018 17:58

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

AJ_Impy posted:

Right then. Repair the Manapool.

...did we get the extended Manapool insurance plan?

I mean, the thing is practically brand new.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2018 20:29

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Hexenritter posted:

A
YYY
B
B, then C next time we get the opportunity

I like it.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2018 14:45

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

A4BC

No need to advertise our presence, but we can go pretty hog wild on everything else.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2018 16:42

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

2A

Maybe something about that will help us with our revenge quest.

We should also just go look at the Shadowboard. Looking is free, right?

# ¿ Sep 21, 2018 16:24

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

dont be mean to me posted:

AG-manawell gently caress it yolo

We've got a phylactery, so that isn't quite true. Which means we should do it as hard and fast as we can.

Maybe like... offsite, though.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2018 17:46

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Nephzinho posted:

While I'm all for accidentally reviving an evil elvish god, maybe we find someplace secure to do so not in the middle of our base. Volcano sounds like a good plan, if its cool we help it feed, but if it tries to overpower us we send it into lava, or we slip away and just pretend we didn't do anything while it ravages a part of the world fara way from us.

I mean, that's where they left the twig. Not our fault the box we don't know about opened on it's own and fell into a Manawell we forgot we left there.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2018 18:36

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

super sweet best pal posted:

Instead of just planting them somewhere, let's grow them in a temporal plane.

A
B
D

Let's play this one straight. Ents are landbased, not a particularly a rival, and potential partner. Who might trade us favors for creating rivers and channels and irrigation systems for his army/children. Or murdering a certain fire mage.

Hell, let's get him a seat at the table at The Dark Isle. Having him as a long term ally would be fantastic. And his crusade will be more visible and let us work more covertly.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2018 16:38

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 13:58

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Splicer posted:

This ship sailed when we said the humans destroyed the island. It's a worry with the faye too but eh.

Humans did destroy the island. Everything was all hunky dory until they betrayed us. We may have been the instrument, but the root cause analysis shows that if they'd upheld their end of the bargain, there'd still be an regular island here instead of obsidian and ash.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2018 16:24

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