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Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

We're back again to celebrate the best annual event in combat sports. Last year the Bianchi won the grand tournament yet again. The games started off with a rather rough match that saw the Verdi pitted against the Rossi. After taking an early lead the Verdi began to wilt when our best attacking ball runner was tackled in half and taken off the field. After more and more expulsions and injuries the man advantage was so great that red winning was a formality (10-2 final score). In one of the most controversial Calcio games of all time the reigning champions the Bianchi faced off against the wastemen Azzurri. After the Azzurri took a shocking early lead poo poo hit the fan after a series of "controversial" reffing expulsions. The blues felt hard done by these decisions against them and logically proceeded to assault multiple officials causing the police to storm the field and end the game. The game was suspended, the blues were kicked out of the tournament and the whites were moved on into the final. The final was a very clean tactical game that went down to the wire. The Bianchi showed their championship mentality and won the final from behind in the final minute with an amazing shot (6-5.5 final score).

Sidenote- because of last years shenanigans the Azzuri are being massive sore losers and spoiling everyone's summer. They have decided to pull out this year's games in protest. Because of this tommorow's semi-final is cancelled and the Rossi will get a bye to the final. However instead of fully cancelling everything the other three teams have decided to host a "friendly" and have a game where the Reds will play against a team composed of both green and white players The Calcio Storico organization are threatening the Blues with fines and possibly seizing their training grounds.
http://www.firenzetoday.it/cronaca/...amichevole.html

Will the Whites remain dominant, will the Greens finally show some organization, will the Reds be unrepentant scumbags (yes)? As for the Blues, gently caress them. I don't know what will happen but what I do know is that I can't wait to watch these roided up Italian men punch each other in a sandy piazza

What is Calcio Storico?

Basically this





More Precisely
Calcio fiorentino (also known as calcio storico "historic football") is an early form of football that originated in 16th century Italy. Once widely played, the sport is thought to have originated in the Piazza Santa Croce in Florence. Interest in Calcio waned in the early 17th century. However in 1930 it was reorganized as a game in Kingdom of Italy. Today, three matches are played each year in Piazza Santa Croce in Florence in the 3rd week of June. A team from each quartiere of the city is represented:



Santa Croce / Azzurri (Blues)
Unathletic out of shape wastemen who are terrible at offense but through their sheer determination and willingness to sacrfice their bodies are able to give any team a struggle. Oh and whiners and spoil sports. A disgrace


Santa Maria Novella / Rossi (Reds)
Roided up cheaters. They are slightly better at scoring than the azzurri but they prefer to toss people out of the arena and waste the clock. They gas 1/3rd the way through every match


Santo Spirito / Bianchi (Whites)
A dynasty riding high. A complete team with some of the best offensive players in the game. Top down leadership and success in their veins.


San Giovanni / Verdi (Greens)
An all around solid team with offensive flair and long range sharpshooters. They are not afraid to get physical. They are a team with illustrious history and a deep respect for the Calcio tradition.


After playing each other in two opening games, the two winners go onto the final which occurs each year on June 24th.

Rules

The modern version of calcio allows tactics such as head-butting, punching, elbowing, and choking but sucker punches and kicks to the head are banned. The game is played on a field of sand with a narrow slit constituting the goal, running the width of each end. Each teams comprises 27 players who are allowed to use both feet and hands to pass and control the ball. Goals (or cacce) are scored by throwing the ball over into the netting at the end of the field. There is a main referee, six linesmen and a field master. Each match is played out for 50 minutes with the winner being the team with the most goals scored.

What essentially happens is the two teams line up and beat on each other. The team with the ball tries to preoccupy the other team by beating them down or taking them down to the point where a gap is created and the ball runner can go on a run towards goal. The goal is narrow and missing a shot on goal gives the opponents .5 points. Scoring a goal nets the shooting team 1 pt. Because of the penalty for missing, players try to get fairly close before shooting. When it comes to tackling a ball carrier anything goes including kicking his legs out from under him.

That's basically the rules but in actuality what happens is a big clusterfuck wherein a bunch of referees and assistants dressed like renaissance clowns run around calling things as they see fit.

(Respect this man's authority)

Players will break rules if they feel like they can get away with it and justice is arbitrarily dished out. However, players can and frequently do, get ejected for breaking the rules. This usually occurs after the most ferocious of hand gesturing. There seems to be a gentleman's agreement not to kick eachother's asses too bad, but I honestly have no real idea and people do get their rear end kicked.

The winners get a year of bragging rights and a white cow.

When to watch
Friendly Rossi vs Bianchi/Verdi - 6/9/ 12:30 pm est
Semi-final Bianchi vs Verdi - 6/10/ 12:30 pm est
Final TBA 6/24 12:30 pm est

Where to watch
The local Florentine channel that airs the games has a convenient HD web broadcast.
https://www.facebook.com/pg/rtv38/videos/
e wary of when you click on this because they air ads for strip clubs at night

Why you should watch

Italian amateur striking


Italian amateur grappling


More importantly- It's legitimately crazy, bizarre and entertaining.

Check this poo poo out of you want

A semi final from 2015. Probably the best game that year. End to end stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EioSnjSjq00

Last years amazing final
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSQ9KXh4NXw

A short documentary focusing on the lead up to the game. Not the greatest, but interesting none the less.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XctCNiDICXo

Seltzer fucked around with this message at Jun 24, 2018 around 14:57

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Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Last Year's Highlights
Last year I was crunched for time so I didn't capture much but

Italian Grappling is getting marginally better


Go for the moral victory even when you're down 8 points


And of course the ref beating heard round the world (ref is in reddish orange top)


Cool poo poo from 2016





Also some brief words about the Azzurri fiasco

Azzurri Statement posted:

Who hit the referee was wrong, it's true. But the problem does not concern only the three disqualified crashes. The fact is that the sanctions against us have been much heavier than those imposed, for similar behavior, to the calculators of other colors

Calcio Storico President posted:

There is no sense in the decision not to play, doing so spite the whole city. A part of the show is missing, with a great story and a great fan base. The decision not to take the field is a serious decision , which wastes the tournament. The field and the headquarters in Santa Croce will be revoked. All the calcianti azzurri will also be released and may in future be enrolled for other colors "

Seltzer fucked around with this message at Jun 8, 2018 around 20:41

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

So I bought this book over a year ago.


"Early Florence and the Historic Game of Calcio" published 1972. It's the only book written about Calcio in English to my knowledge. The writing is a bit amateurish but it's still entertaining. Though only about 1/4th the book is about Calcio. The rest talks about historic Venice around the time when the games were first played. It describes other city festivities the government and guild power structures etc. It relates back to Calcio because a lot of the pageantry at the beginning of the games (that people can't wait to end lol) uses symbols that represent the guilds, wards, government offices etc. The book has cool pictures and is written by a guy who helped salvage the game in a way (in it's early modern reintroduction a flood or storm(?) ruined a lot of the gear and costumes and the author helped research the old game and replace what was lost.)


Here is a diagram to understand everybodies favorite part of Calcio Storico


70s grappling


Action shot


Sheet music for the ceremonies


Black and White chaos


The theoretical positions each player is assigned to



Three different popes have participated in Calcio Storico

Seltzer fucked around with this message at Jun 9, 2018 around 04:48

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!



Extremely my poo poo.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


So which thread should we choose?

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

MassRafTer posted:

So which thread should we choose?

?

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Oh someone jacked my thread Post in here

Simone Poodoin
Jun 26, 2003





hell yeah calcio storico owns

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

#RXTREVOLUTIONFOREVER6


Once again I root for Rossi because Red is the best color

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

achillesforever6 posted:

Once again I root for Rossi because Red is the best color

There are good and bad reasons for picking your team but the most important thing is that you are consistent.

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

#RXTREVOLUTIONFOREVER6


Seltzer posted:

There are good and bad reasons for picking your team but the most important thing is that you are consistent.
That and I always forget that I post this year after year

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

This is cyber bulling and I will not stand for it.


Your explained why Blue isny playing so your thread wins

Jenkem Delivery
Feb 8, 2005

Death created time to grow the things that it would kill

Andiamo Rossi! I hope they add some of those cycling PEDs to their steroids so they don't gas out

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist




B O N F I G L I O

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

handsome only face posted:

B O N F I G L I O

I'll have you know that Bonfiglio has been hyping up the games big time on his instagram so hopefully we get him at 100% This year.

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.



Glad you're back Seltzer. I only took up the the thread because you were late and I didn't know how to get a hold of you.

Dr. Abysmal
Feb 17, 2010

We're all doomed

I wonder how many people will be stretchered off of the field in tomorrow's friendly match

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist




Seltzer posted:

I'll have you know that Bonfiglio has been hyping up the games big time on his instagram so hopefully we get him at 100% This year.

mods name me calciogram geotag

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Lone Goat posted:

Glad you're back Seltzer. I only took up the the thread because you were late and I didn't know how to get a hold of you.

Yea no problem. I've just been busy. I'm gonna try to throw up some pictures from my calcio storico book before tomorrow.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

FUCK FEMINISM I BELIEVE IN HUMAN RIGHTS...FOR ALL!


So why do they just hug sometimes? Is it cause fights can only be 1 v 1 and it's better to hold people than to fight?

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"


Grem posted:

So why do they just hug sometimes? Is it cause fights can only be 1 v 1 and it's better to hold people than to fight?

italian culture is very romantic

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Mini image and info-dump

Also RTV38s player has been down all today. I emailed them but I might need one of the forum Italians to call them tomorrow morning if things are still not up.

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.



Grem posted:

So why do they just hug sometimes? Is it cause fights can only be 1 v 1 and it's better to hold people than to fight?


Yeah pretty much. If you're engaging with another man in a warm loving embrace then nobody else is allowed to hit you. Strategic hugging.

DO YALL WANT A BOXC
Jul 20, 2010

EYY WHO WANTS A PIZZA PIE ? PASTA LINGUINE ITSA FAMILY THING PAISAN EYYYYYY





Fun Shoe

Blue is the best color and my eternal team and there was a huge robbery last year, but they are huge grade A pussies for skipping out on the event. i guess I'm rooting just for violence this year

Bushmeister
Nov 27, 2007
Son Of Northern Frostbitten Wintermoon

poo poo on a brisket its the best sporting event of the year! Still gonna be rooting for Rossi because Heavyweight Best Weight no matter the sport

Bushmeister
Nov 27, 2007
Son Of Northern Frostbitten Wintermoon

The old stream link still doesn't seem to work but the channel has a Facebook stream set up here that is now showing the opening ceremonies: https://www.facebook.com/rtv38/videos/1964656976879725/

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Alright, after a lot of attempts on finding out what the gently caress is happening with the stream I found out that they are streaming this live on their facebook page.
https://www.facebook.com/rtv38/videos/1964656976879725/

For whatever reason their main page stream has been down for like a week.

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


It's the mooooooost punchballest tiiiiiiiiiiime, of the yeeeeeear

Bushmeister
Nov 27, 2007
Son Of Northern Frostbitten Wintermoon

The Rossi team this year seems to have been invaded by hipster beards, though roided up criminals still make up the bulk of them

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

I think the members of the mixed team are wearing purple shirts?

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Yea they are, makes sense it's the color of the city. You can see guys in both green and white pants with purple shirts. I wonder if these are the backup guys and how hard they're actually gonna punch eachother.

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.



Seltzer posted:

Yea they are, makes sense it's the color of the city. You can see guys in both green and white pants with purple shirts. I wonder if these are the backup guys and how hard they're actually gonna punch eachother.

Hopefully they punch really hard, gotta soften up the Rossi for their respective teams in the finals.

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

Lone Goat posted:

Hopefully they punch really hard, gotta soften up the Rossi for their respective teams in the finals.

Definitely.

This drat scroll reader sucks and has had the gig for so long. I wonder who he knows.

Jenkem Delivery
Feb 8, 2005

Death created time to grow the things that it would kill

Forza Rossi!!

Jenkem Delivery
Feb 8, 2005

Death created time to grow the things that it would kill

Holy poo poo Rossi sent their biggest dude for the toss

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.



fire the cameraman that's focusing on the guy with the ball and not all the dudes beating the piss out of each other

Dr. Abysmal
Feb 17, 2010

We're all doomed

Everybody was laying on the dirt within two minutes.

Seltzer
Oct 11, 2012

lego ass bitch

The assaults have definitely been toned down for this though their still trying to smash the ball runners

Jenkem Delivery
Feb 8, 2005

Death created time to grow the things that it would kill

Beautiful strategy, send the biggest guy to run through the opposition. They didn't want to get near him

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Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.



i think that huge black guy is gonna be a key player here

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